https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 16 Jun 2026 08:38:56 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2214321 Sat, 20 Jun 2015 17:42:58 +0000 Modern Daisy 2214321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>And like many other posters here I am adament about living below our budget. I lived in NYC for too long and we were*barely* scraping by (compared to everyone else) and I promised myself we would never live that way again. We actually had to explain to themortgage underwriter why we were buyinga house for less than half of what we sold our apartment for! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2214319 Sat, 20 Jun 2015 17:38:00 +0000 Modern Daisy 2214319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think there is always going to be someone richer than me who has cooler things and more moneyto spend. So I make myself focus onwhat I really want, what is most important? Going on a vacation? Buying new shoes? And I make it work within our budget. Most of the time once I take a step back I realize I don't even really want it! Also, I have many friends in the 1% and honestly I am just happy for them. I rejoice in the houses they are buying, the baby nurses they are hiring and luxury cars they are driving. These things were meant to be enjoyed and I am nothing but excitedthat they get to! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2214275 Sat, 20 Jun 2015 15:04:28 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2214275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't really have any advice because I sometimes feel the same and I get the guilt too. i just try to remember that we can still work toward those things and that at the end of the day we have all the things we *really* want (and I hope this is the case for you too!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2214207 Sat, 20 Jun 2015 11:24:43 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2214207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Although I like nice things, I personally think that quality time spent with family greatly outweighs anything that can be store bought. However, it's a lot easier for me to think this way when we live in the middle of nowhere with senior citizens as neighbors. If we lived back in my hometown, I would most definitely feel the pull. </p> <p>I'd try to focus on the freedom of living within or below your means and being debt free. Most importantly, having the security of knowing it won't (immediately) all go to hell if DH loses his job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2214174 Sat, 20 Jun 2015 09:23:54 +0000 Keybee 2214174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm just starting to SAH and I am really greatful for all of these words of wisdom. We are really going to have to cut back, but I'm greatful I get to be home with baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2214171 Sat, 20 Jun 2015 09:13:14 +0000 Cole 2214171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You guys are amazing! I so appreciate the kind words, suggestions and commiseration. I am going to save this so I can reread whenever this crops up again. Thank you :heart: :heart: :heart: ! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2214168 Sat, 20 Jun 2015 08:59:06 +0000 youboots 2214168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just remember..... You are Mrs. Jones to someone else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2214096 Sat, 20 Jun 2015 01:29:38 +0000 hellocupcake 2214096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2214094 Sat, 20 Jun 2015 01:21:37 +0000 Kimberlybee 2214094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: I enjoyed reading everything you shared, especially on being thankful and looking past the struggles! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2214042 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 21:34:50 +0000 Greentea 2214042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: I really like your be thankful section. That's very zen- to see even the challenges as benefits, helping you grow, finding the good amid any circumstance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213996 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 20:15:52 +0000 catlady 2213996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Similar to others, I try to think about the situation of others to put my own into perspective. I think about less fortunate friends and family members and I automatically feel grateful to have my life. Also I try to remember that you never really know what other people's struggles are. I have friends who come from money plus they are extremely successful in their own right, and they just bought an amazing mansion in a town I would love to live in. But I recently found out that they have been doing IVF and it's not working and they are not sure they will ever have their own child. I look at my tiny house and my beautiful little girl and feel so grateful to have what I have. Finally, I try to remind myself of some of the choices I made and why I made them. For ex. we could own a nicer house in a less expensive town so every so often I need to just walk around and appreciate how amazing our town is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213986 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 20:01:48 +0000 MrsMccarthy 2213986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hate when I get caught in that trap and I do often. What usually brings me back to earth is seeing the reality is that we all struggle in some way. I also wish though that I could focus more on my own life and happiness and not get so caught up in envy or using others as a barometer for my happiness. Baby steps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213982 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 19:58:00 +0000 Greentea 2213982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a parent that is a millionaire that is really screwed up, DH has a parent in poverty that is screwed up- I guess I have seen people all over the income map with problems, so I try to remember that. Everyone has problems.</p> <p>I guess I am genuinely happy to be me, in ways that have nothing to do with income.</p> <p>I also remind myself of what I am willing or not willing to give up to attain whatever it may be. I've lived in all kinds of situations growing up, and I've learned to make happiness with very little. Appreciating things helps, the things that can't be bought- the things you cherish about yourself and the people you love, your health, your experience, your values and positive qualities, your time and free mind to choose to enjoy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213961 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 19:24:53 +0000 catomd00 2213961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have never really struggled (though I do a bit with people who have a spotless house 24/7!) with this but my husband does. Our mantra (that He says helps keep it in perspective) is that you never know when your last moment on earth will be so just enjoy the moment with the people you love. It's a little morbid I guess but really living by that has helped remove so much stress and anxiety from my life (not necessarily related to keeping up with others) and made me happier than I have ever been. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213879 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 17:46:43 +0000 Kimberlybee 2213879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a morbid thought but it helps me keep my wants and insane desires at bay, I try to remember that today is truly a gift and that I might not be here tomorrow. Now that I have a baby, in the back of my mind I am so scared of leaving her motherless before she is able to take care of herself. That image alone makes me grateful for everything that I have even if it's not much. The best, most treasured asset we all have is good health. Money can never buy that and money can't guarantee us a prolonged life. Besides, not everything is as it seems so I try to remember that too. Even millionaires can declare bankruptcy because they can't keep up with their crazy extravagant lifestyle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213876 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 17:43:29 +0000 gingerbebe 2213876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cole: I came from a poor family but my parents weasled my brother and I into an excellent school district in a posh area growing up and that propelled us to good colleges surrounded by uber wealthy folks. Then we went into careers where people came from wealthy families and had lots of connections. All of this is to say: the gimmies are the worst. Truly. Here's a collection of things my parents taught me and things I took upon myself to get over it. </p> <p>1. Give and be generous. Nothing will make you feel richer or more empowered by the wealth you DO have than helping those in need. Make it constant and habitual and intentional. DH and I sit and talk about out giving quite regularly to stay intentional about it.</p> <p>2. Be thankful. Create an habit of giving thanks at some point every day. I used to wake up in the morning and force myself to spend at least 10 minutes first thing giving thanks, no matter what I felt like. I'd literally do things like "Thank you God for this annoying alarm waking me up, and these warm blankets that are making it so hard to get out of bed. Thank you for the hot water coming out of my shower. Thank you for my car that is driving me to work. Thank you for this sweet, sweet coffee. Thank you for this traffic that is going so slow that I can pay attention to the clouds and sunshine....", etc. By forcing a habit of thanksgiving, I would get to the office in a great mood and be in the right state of mind, ready to work. Over time it became a habit and I do it almost instantly now. As a mom, I will say things like "Thank you that my son is so healthy he can scream his lungs out at 3am..." through grit teeth. Silly, but it works.</p> <p>3. Know that no matter how much you have, you will always look up when you should be looking down. The mom's house you just visited is probably jealous of another mom who has a personal Pilates instructor and a vacation home in St. Bart's or something random. Find a mom who might be envying you and try to encourage her instead. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213864 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 17:20:31 +0000 Mama Bird 2213864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cole: ugh, I hate that feeling. I'm sorry you're feeling it. I get it too quite a bit, not always about stuff, more about wasting my life at work. Sometimes it helps to just look back a few years and remember the things I was desperate to have then... I realize I have them now, and then feel very successful :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213863 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 17:20:10 +0000 cat620 2213863@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamasig: This is so true! You never know what the person might be struggling with. </p> <p>I heard a quote once that said comparison is the thief of happiness. I try to remember that there will always be people who have more than me and people who have less than me. I just need to be content with my life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213854 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 17:06:42 +0000 DigAPony 2213854@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I remind myself of all the good things in my life, and also get off the internet. I notice that when I have the feeling you're describing it usually coincides with me being online too much and looking at blogs that portray an extravagant and/or "perfect" lifestyle. I also remind myself that people can make their lives look much different online than they are in real life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213853 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 17:06:21 +0000 Mrs. Coral 2213853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: Beautifully stated. </p> <p>@Cole: DH and I remind ourselves that while it might be nice to have many new, shiny things, it must be not so nice to have the accompanying debt many also have. </p> <p>I also have begun to take pride in the fact that our happiness comes from experiences and time spent, not things or money. Can you plan a picnic or another simply pleasure to enjoy with your family? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213849 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 16:56:18 +0000 hummusgirl 2213849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try to keep perspective and reading things like this helps: <a href="http://momastery.com/blog/2014/08/11/give-liberty-give-debt/" rel="nofollow">http://momastery.com/blog/2014/08/11/give-liberty-give-debt/</a></p> <p>I also think about the world at large and how we're collectively hurting the planet with our rampant consumerism, which is something the Pope just issued a huge report on this week - talking about how the "cult of appearance" is harming families and the environment. It's a little depressing to go down this path, but I'm to the point where I don't even *want* most shiny new objects anymore because of the harm to the greater good. </p> <p>I also tend to give a little extra to charity when I'm feeling like that, to remind myself of how much we have and how many people are not as lucky. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213848 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 16:55:03 +0000 Cherrybee 2213848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@knittylady: I LOVE this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213846 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 16:53:40 +0000 knittylady 2213846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH brings home a great saying from AA. Don't compare your insides to someone else's outsides. </p> <p>That always helps me when I feel envious etc., which is more than I'd like to admit... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213839 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 16:34:35 +0000 JenGirl 2213839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I'm very much this way about material things. </p> <p>I know that I could afford nicer clothes/cars/house/etc. But I also know that those simply aren't my priority and so I choose not to spend more on those things than I need to. </p> <p>I remind myself of the things that I do choose to splurge on - mostly vacations! I'd totally rather drive my Corolla and go on international vacations every year than drive a Lexus and never vacation! </p> <p>This gets a little trickier when I think that one of our "splurges" is heavily investing in retirement and savings. But now that I'm pregnant it's really nice to never worry about medical costs because I know we've got plenty of money saved up in our HSA.</p> <p>OP: I would think of your big "splurge" as bonding time with your daughter! Is that worth not having the shiny whatever that the Jones's have? I'm better so!</p> <p>Life is all about priorities. </p> <p>I will also say that I think it helps that we live in a neighborhood where our household incoming is about 9 times the average household income. It really helps to keep our concerns in check when we see how our neighbors can sometimes struggle with money. But they figure out how to make it work. And, if they can, we sure as hell can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213835 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 16:27:10 +0000 .twist. 2213835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DillonLion: I do this too. I don't work in any sort of financial institution or anything but I enjoy reading about consumer debt and finances and stuff like that. I try to remind myself about how many "rich" people are actually living on lines of credit and multiple credit cards. I try to tell myself "you can't afford X because you're living within your means, not because you're poor". Sometimes it works, sometimes I just keep pouting. LOL </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213783 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 15:33:58 +0000 edelweiss 2213783@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>it can be hard, but i try to remember that everything is relative and that to some, i may seem like one of the "haves" instead of the "have-nots". several of my friends have experienced terrible losses the past few years that also changed me fundamentally in how grateful i feel for having my family.</p> <p>but i think it's natural to have those feelings from time to time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213781 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 15:32:07 +0000 daniellemybelle 2213781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know this sounds cheesy, but I count my blessings. We are so much better off than so many and so far ahead of where our parents were when they were our age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213778 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 15:31:04 +0000 Cherrybee 2213778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sometimes feel like this and I cope by playing the role of someone who is waaaay too cool to like fancy handbags! Its a fake it til you make it kind of situation.... I channel my inner cool chick and repeat over and over to myself - "yeah, we could have afforded all this stuff but I just didn't want it, y'know? I prefer a simple life, no clutter" and then I drop comments about how I've felt much happier since I took the time out of the rat race to just enjoy my children. I guarantee she will be more jealous of you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213762 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 15:21:10 +0000 DillonLion 2213762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chillybear: Congratulations! It definitely puts things into perspective, right?! That was a big factor for us, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-start-wanting-to-keep-up-with-the-joneses#post-2213759 Fri, 19 Jun 2015 15:20:02 +0000 Chillybear 2213759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are about to make the final payment to pay off our consumer credit cards and it feels sooooo good. Its a goal we've been trying to reach for almost 3 years. Everytime i look at shopping emails or see things I want on a friend or passerby, and i don't have the liquid funds to purchase it, i think about how much it would suck to have to pay off credit cards again. </p>