https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 23:03:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-telling-a-family-member-youre-pregnant#post-2879775 Mon, 08 Apr 2019 12:43:09 +0000 Pollywog 2879775@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Stardust17: I'm not sure if this will help, but my story is similar to yours. My bill had his first child about 11 years after he first wanted one. It took a long journey for him to get a child, including miscarriages and relationship trouble. I know there were times he was jealous when a new niece or nephew was on the way.</p> <p>We had a shorter journey, but there was definitely jealousy when we announced (and sympathy when we lost the baby). We knew they were trying and it would be rough for them. They were in the same boat telling us they were expecting 3 months later. Our sticky babies who were born two weeks apart. There was worry over it being a competition, but it was fine. We refused to compare pregnancies or kids. </p> <p>Having kids close in age has been so wonderful. And when they announced their second was due 3 weeks after our second, all we could do is laugh. Any jealousy is long gone. My advice is to take the long view, it's awesome having another pregnant person to be sober with at family events and having built in playmates makes family get togethers much more fun for the kids. </p> <p>And congratulations! It's been such a long road for you. I'm so excited you have a sticky baby and you have nieces/nephews on the way </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-telling-a-family-member-youre-pregnant#post-2879767 Mon, 08 Apr 2019 11:47:34 +0000 Stardust17 2879767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all! I failed to mention that my TTC journey hasn’t been easy itself. I tried for 11 yes to have my daughter and then after my m/c, I was told I had a low egg reserve and multiple attempts with infertility treatments. So for me I just feel like I’m not going to “win” this and need to just celebrate with those who are happy for me and not dwell on one person’s reaction...even if it is my sister. Maybe she will surprise me 🤷🏼‍♀️<br /> Thank you all again!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-telling-a-family-member-youre-pregnant#post-2879746 Mon, 08 Apr 2019 09:47:16 +0000 meganmp 2879746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can speak from her perspective, actually. After years of infertility, I finally got pregnant (also with twins, in fact). Then, FOUR of my friends got pregnant and 6 babies were born within 6 weeks. It was great... eventually. I did have the, "Oh, c'mon!" feeling even though I knew it was selfish. Knowing that it is a selfish feeling does not make the feeling go away. Text her the news, and give her the dignity of being able to react as she feels fit privately. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-telling-a-family-member-youre-pregnant#post-2879745 Mon, 08 Apr 2019 09:36:08 +0000 graceandjoy 2879745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think as long as you're prepared for potential bad reaction/no reaction from her, you can mentally prepare yourself so that no one can rob the joy from you! You can't control her reaction, you can only do your part, so I agree with @Pollywog: to be the bigger person as well, knowing you "did the right thing" no matter how she reciprocates. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-telling-a-family-member-youre-pregnant#post-2879584 Sat, 06 Apr 2019 14:35:55 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2879584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pollywog: I like that suggestion. </p> <p>Especially since this is her first pregnancy. And first time moms tend to be into the attention aspect of things. 😬 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-telling-a-family-member-youre-pregnant#post-2879579 Sat, 06 Apr 2019 12:58:08 +0000 Pollywog 2879579@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's seriously so awesome to have cousins the same age! I would send her a text saying "I'm so happy for you and your babies! We have some news to share too. Your kids are going to have a playmate about the same age"</p> <p>I've gone through something similar. Be the bigger person because you never know how hard it was for the other person. And seeing your kids play with weeks apart cousins is amazing </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-telling-a-family-member-youre-pregnant#post-2879566 Sat, 06 Apr 2019 07:13:35 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2879566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree with @ttcgirl: @Foodnerd81: separate text messages.</p> <p>Since your LOs will be arriving around the same time you can keep it focused on #cousinlove. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-telling-a-family-member-youre-pregnant#post-2879564 Sat, 06 Apr 2019 06:57:30 +0000 Sams Mom 2879564@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just tell her. I imagine that a couple years, having to go through infertility, then IVF, and finally being pregnant with not 1 but 2 might change her perspective. Maybe she was already struggling with infertility at the time, maybe she's just a rip? But none the less, text, or email, it even mail her a note. You know she knows, you don't have to see her reaction, and then hopefully she has the tact to feel her feels (if she isn't thrilled) and then be happy for you. </p> <p>If it hasn't, well, she needs to reevaluate and reassess what is actually important in life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-telling-a-family-member-youre-pregnant#post-2879551 Sat, 06 Apr 2019 00:31:17 +0000 Mama Bird 2879551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congratulations! I would just... not tell her, and not make an announcement. You can tell the positive people in your life individually, and she will either hear from one of them eventually, or figure it out when she sees you with a bump. I guess she could claim you're being a stranger, or inconsiderate, or something, but in your shoes I'd put my mental health before the feelings of someone who's likely to dump a ton of negativity all over me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-telling-a-family-member-youre-pregnant#post-2879538 Fri, 05 Apr 2019 19:59:41 +0000 ttcgirl 2879538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with the suggestion of separate texts, that way your sister can take the time to process and react on her own and also while I love group texts in certain situations I feel like a pregnancy announcement is so special it's worth a one on one text! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-telling-a-family-member-youre-pregnant#post-2879536 Fri, 05 Apr 2019 19:26:11 +0000 youboots 2879536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: great suggestion. I agree individual texts is just as easy/personal as a group text. And I don’t love group texts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-telling-a-family-member-youre-pregnant#post-2879535 Fri, 05 Apr 2019 19:20:34 +0000 Foodnerd81 2879535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Stardust17: given what you said, maybe skip the group text and share the news individually? That way other people won’t have to deal with her potentially negative reaction, and she won’t have to see congratulations messages pinging her phone all day. </p> <p>It really stinks that her reaction was so bad last time and that it’s bringing you down this time. I have a sister who I similarly have to walk on eggshells around and it’s annoying, but I can usually limit my interactions with her to keep things positive. </p> <p>And congratulations! Best wishes for a happy and healthy pregnancy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-telling-a-family-member-youre-pregnant#post-2879534 Fri, 05 Apr 2019 19:13:53 +0000 Stardust17 2879534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: we plan to send our news via text as a group text (we’ve personally told our parents already). She will more than likely just vent/blow steam off to our other sister whom I am very close with...I doubt she will directly say something to me this time but it’s the unnecessary drama she could create. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-telling-a-family-member-youre-pregnant#post-2879532 Fri, 05 Apr 2019 18:57:01 +0000 youboots 2879532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’d write her a note and drop it in the mail. Text would be fine too. Then she can process however she wants and you don’t have to see her reaction. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-telling-a-family-member-youre-pregnant#post-2879531 Fri, 05 Apr 2019 18:54:00 +0000 Stardust17 2879531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok, please bear with me....</p> <p>In 2017, I was pregnant and after announcing to one of my sisters (she was newly married, several yes younger than me and just starting TTC), she went off the deep end and said some really hurtful and unforgettable things to me. Sadly I miscarried and after telling her that she attempted to console me but I just couldn’t let her get close. It was minimal reconciliation at best and since then we’ve been cordial but not close. Our relationship has always been temperament I guess.</p> <p>Flash forward to present day...she did IVF and is now 13.5 weeks with twins. While I’m very happy for her, I also just found out I’m pregnant and am 12 weeks along.</p> <p>So here’s where I am struggling....I still don’t think she will react to my news very well...just from our past and very docile relationship. I have never been able to do things to make her genuinely happy for me.<br /> So she’s told family a few weeks ago and social media as of today and our plan was to share our news publicly and with family next weekend but I’m so hung up on her potential reaction that all of my joy is weighed down. What would you do? I hate drama...and I don’t feel like giving her special treatment is fair (I tried that in 2017 and it majorly backfired) but I really hate how I’m fearful of how she may react. Help!!! </p>