Hellobee Boards Topic: How do you manage toddler eating stress?

Hellobee Boards Topic: How do you manage toddler eating stress? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 23:45:18 +0000 ScarletBegonia on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2260148 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 17:22:55 +0000 ScarletBegonia 2260148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Back to square 1 with breakfast today - my husband and I both got frustrated with my son's eating, I think we are worse about it when we are together. I wanted to thank the person (people?) who recommended the Ellyn Satter website and books - they are great! Really put my mind at ease (well, until breakfast!) I am determined to keep my cool again at dinner tonight. I have sent all the literature from ellyn satter's website to my husband so hopefully we can present a united front. Thanks again for your thoughts & advice :) Ellie on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259806 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 11:14:54 +0000 Ellie 2259806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Glad your last meal wasn't as bad as you thought! My just-2 year old is a really good eater but even she has her days where she eats barely anything. I found that she prefers snacking while playing, so while I make dinner I make sure she has a good snack incase it's all that she eats that night (such as fruit w/cheese & crackers). When it's dinner time we make sure she's sitting with us, going thru the whole dinner routine. Even if she has only one bite, I try not to worry too much and instead focus on the fact that she's still benefitting from sitting down to a meal with family. looch on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259796 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 11:07:57 +0000 looch 2259796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Have you tried meeting with a nutritionist? I learned that dinner is the worst meal of the day for most kids, think about it this way...they've had a full day of stimulating activities and dinner might just be sensory overload for them. So, rather than try to make leaps and bounds at that meal, set your bar low. Introduce new foods at other times of the day. Keybee on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259795 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 11:07:45 +0000 Keybee 2259795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Read Ellyn Satters! She has very helpful tips on her website if you don't have time for a while book. Chillybear on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259785 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 11:00:42 +0000 Chillybear 2259785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I noticed a big shift in our LO's eating right after she turned 1. A lot of it was her moving into toddlerhood. Now that she's almost 2. I try to let her be in control as much as possible and "help" me with the meals. She eats breakfast and lunch at daycare and always seems to eat well there. In the morning, I let her pick a snack to eat in the car usually a pouch or dry cereal. At dinner, she chooses where she'll sit, the color of her plate and cup (we have the rainbow set from Ikea), water or milk, I usually give her 2 options to pick from that are go to's (do you want meatballs or hot dog) and ask her to try some of what we're having. I offer her fruit or yogurt at the end of the meal (she never says no to blueberries or banana) By the time we eat its late like 7pm so a lot of time I have to factor in any snacks or bites she's eaten while I was prepping dinner. Mrs Green Grass on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259721 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 10:22:06 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 2259721@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My son is 24lbs at 2.5, so quite skinny. He's not really a bad eRer, just doesn't eat a ton of food. I'd say that everything really starting improving right around the age of your lo, so one part of this is just natural phase of eating that most toddlers go through. One hint we had to do is move milk far away from meals, but it sounds like you Re pretty much doing that. Eventually, it was really only in the morning and before bed. The other thing that has always worked well for me is serving courses. He will often eat what is in front of him, but he won't choose it over. More preferred food like read or pasta...so I start with meat, then veggies, then, carb, then fruit. I can't even have the other stuff in sight or he will refuse what he has... My son is a 1%er and I still worry, but it's not the same all encompassing worry as when he was younger, so I'd say, it'll get better. Many many toddlers make eating stressful and anything you can do to keep things positive is a win. I do lots of stroller and car snacks to get extra calories in. Oh one last thing! Walk away! Dylan often eats better when I'm just messing around in the kitchen and not just sitting in front of him. Good luck! ScarletBegonia on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259469 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 04:37:29 +0000 ScarletBegonia 2259469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ So tonights dinner wasn't as big of a disaster as the last few nights, but still a far cry from where we used to be...the positive is that I kept my cool and stayed pretty calm throughout. @Kemma: snacks are hit and miss! Some days he grazes and will snatch whatever we are eating out of our hands, some days he can't be bothered. Fickle little creature! Kemma on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259467 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 03:59:48 +0000 Kemma 2259467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ How does your little guy go with snacks? Could you do a bento style tray / box full of healthy snacks for him to pick from as the day goes on? gingerbebe on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259462 Mon, 10 Aug 2015 02:00:53 +0000 gingerbebe 2259462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I just want to say I totally feel you. My son has had weight gain issues since the beginning and he's just never been into drinking his bottles OR eating. I feel like if it was one or the other I might relax a little bit, but he seriously could not care less about eating at all. So every bottle, every meal is like so annoying. My son does not care to feed himself at 11 months not because he can't (he totally can, I've watched him eat a zillion yogurt melts) but because he is completely not interested in the act of eating. Its like boring to him and the only way we can get him to eat is by distracting him. So for bottles, we have a box full of little toys he can play with while we hold the bottle to his mouth. If he gets bored of a toy, he throws it and starts to sit up. We hand him another and get him to lean back again. For meals, we put him in his high chair and attach these suction toys to it and hand him junk to throw/play with. Sometimes throwing some puffs or something can entertain him for a few seconds, but the name of the game is if he's fixated on a toy or music or a Baby Einstein video or something, we can spoon food into his mouth and he'll just absentmindedly take it. Some days he will accept things if we hand feed it. Some days he will only accept it if its spoon. You just have to try! One thing I've found (which I hate) is that he'll totally eat better on the move. So if we put food in his playroom he'll just stand there and graze and play. I can't leave messy food in there, but we usually have cereal and raisins and yogurt melts and stuff like that plus a straw cup of water and he'll happy stand there munching away and playing with his toys. Days he refuses fruit at the table, I'll throw some blueberries or grapes in the playroom and he'll eat them all! Or we'll take him to the park and feed him bites of banana on the go and he'll eat that! He's so annoying! ScarletBegonia on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259424 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 23:07:38 +0000 ScarletBegonia 2259424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Thanks so much to everyone, I know the #1 thing I need to do is relax, and I go into every meal saying I will stay relaxed, but then his little hand comes up after 1 bite, or 2 bites, or 5 bites (on a good day) and I freak out all over again! Thanks again for the advice - keep it coming :) I have read every one of your posts multiple times and I'm thinking positive going into tonights dinner. Yesterday he ate about 3 bites of food from the time he woke up from his nap til bedtime, but still slept through - so I guess he can't be starving? @Mae: He has a sippy of milk in the hour or so before his nap, and a sippy after dinner/before bed. Probably 400-500ml (i think 15-16oz?) over the course of the day, always after solids. It does make me happy he's getting calories in, but also I worry he's filling up on that or holding out for milk instead of eating. Rockies11 on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259416 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 22:46:48 +0000 Rockies11 2259416@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My LO is very petite and has a small appetite. I just offer her three meals a day and have a snack cupboard that she can access whenever she likes. I try not to think about it at all. Somedays she eats a lot, somedays she eats so little I am surprised she has the energy to run around. It's just one of those things that you absolutely can't control. So just experiment with what works for him and your family. littleblessings on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259410 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 22:26:57 +0000 littleblessings 2259410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My DD had been so stubborn with eating that I actually had to put her on pediasure milk shakes to make sure she was getting nutrients. ALV91711 on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259408 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 22:23:54 +0000 ALV91711 2259408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Have you tried a booster seat at the table? That might him feel more a part of dinner time. I know it is hard to not stress about what he is eating but I think if you are offering healthy choices, he will eat what he needs. I know for my DS he doesn't eat much for dinner ever, weekdays or weekends. His main meal is lunch, he will eat so much more at that time of day. So I try to make sure it is the healthiest meal of the day. Try and relax these next few nights and not stress too much. lamariniere on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259395 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 21:58:30 +0000 lamariniere 2259395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @hilsy85: I was going to offer similar advice. If there are no health problems, I would try to just ease up a bit. My two have been through picky phases or phases where they seem to not eat anything and sometimes I get really worked up about it. But I also try to remember to just let go. I try to offer them healthy meals and if they are hungry they eat them and if they aren't they don't. Just this week my son has been exceedingly difficult and the past three nights he has barely touched his dinner. Last night he literally had one bite of food and a small handful of blueberries. Tonight he wolfed down everything I put in front of him and even had second helpings! hilsy85 on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259387 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 21:29:24 +0000 hilsy85 2259387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ If you have ruled out any physical/developmental issue that could be affecting his ability/desire to eat, then I would REALLY REALLY try hard to just...let it go. Easier said than done, but my stress levels dropped dramatically when I stopped obsessing over what my LO was eating. Normal healthy kids will not starve themselves. It is normal to go through picky phases and periods of not eating much. I agree with looking at his nutrition over a week instead of one meal or one day. Our pedi says if LO eats 1 "good"meal (seems hungry and eats well) a day, then that's fantastic and I shouldn't worry. Just remain consistent with the rules (for us, he is not allowed to run around while eating, I will not chase him with food, and I am not a short order cook--he eats what is on the table or else he's not that hungry). If he has consistently been on the smaller side, then that is his normal. Not something to worry about (Fwiw, my LO was 9th-15th percentile from 5 months until 2 years, and then at 2.5 he was all of a sudden 42nd percentile!). Mae on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259338 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 20:39:28 +0000 Mae 2259338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I guess there are two parts to your question. First-- how to make him eat better. Second-- how to manage stress. For the first... Does he eat better moving? My LO is not a great eater at her high chair but if I pop her in the stroller and put food on her tray she almost always eats it all. Same with the car. If I put a snack in her cup holder she eats the whole thing but if we're in the house she's way too busy to eat a snack usually. Second (and I think this actually helps the first as well)... I do think the stressing matters. What I find myself saying to my LO over and over again is "you don't have to eat it but you can't throw it" (her issue is throwing food off her tray constantly). I never push her to eat just one more bite or anything. Some meals she hardly eats anything but it sort of just is what it is. She's super stubborn so I know the harder I pushed the more she'd refuse just because she was annoyed. If she eats one good meal a day I'm pretty happy. What's his milk intake situation? I used to stress a lot about my LO eating because she had food refusal issues when she was very young (2-4 mo) and then was extremely fussy about eating until about 8mo. It felt like every bottle was SO IMPORTANT and every time she refused a bottle I'd worry it was the start of a trend of refusal again. Then when she was 12 mo she got a horrible stomach bug and couldn't eat hardly anything (bottle or food) for a week and...... she was fine. And I realized that the situation was really not dire at this age. She can go a day (or two) without eating much and be just fine. You can do what you can to offer but you can't force it to happen. And if he drinks milk at least he is getting calories there. ShootingStar on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259332 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 20:33:22 +0000 ShootingStar 2259332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ How about changing up his high chair? Get one of those inexpensive FP boosters that attach to a chair and gave him eat at the table. Also, let go of the idea that dinner has to be his biggest meal. My toddler eats a ton at daycare and most days eats very little dinner. My DS also tends to get tired of food, which DH does too. So sometimes I offer him a veggie pouch if it seems like he's tired of our dinner. It's healthy and he loves them. irene on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259328 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 20:29:54 +0000 irene 2259328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ So sorry to hear this and I am with you completely. My son, now 3.5 years old, also has ups and downs with eating. Some days he would literally barely eat anything and would be great and I wonder how he survives. He is very obviously the shortest in his class. I really don't have any great advices but this is what I've been doing lately (after advices from wise fellow hellobee-ers). He has dinner at around 6pm. If he eats a little and claims he's done, I would let him run off. Husband comes home at around 7pm and I eat dinner with him. During this whole time, I leave LO's food on the table covered since 6pm. So when husband comes home and we eat, he would want to eat his food too. If he already finished his dinner, I would offer fruits at this time. I also started a "bait": If he finishes his dinner, as in everything on his plate that evening, he gets to eat chocolate frozen yogurt, which is his favorite. It gives him a big incentive to finish the food. He does finish his food maybe 2-3 days in a week, so he gets a little bit of frozen yogurt maybe 2-3 days a week after dinner. I am not sure how you feel about frozen yogurt but that definitely was a motivation for my son. I also go into up and down panic modes too and some days I'd pull my hair out. One thing my friend (who has a same aged child as I do) said which really made me feel better. She said children are actually very good at regulating what they need to eat for their bodies. So when there are days he didn't eat his dinner at all, I'd just try to think of that. Also, another thing I observe my friend does: instead of focusing on what he didn't eat, focus on what he does eat. To be honest her child maybe eats the same amount of food (or a little bit more) than mine, but often times I heard her say to her son, wow, you had a really good lunch today didn't you? Instead of when you look at me, I'd say to my son oh man you didn't eat anything don't tell me you will be hungry again when we get home. So I guess it is the glass half full/empty thing. Maybe it is indeed a vibe that if we let it go, our child will start eating. Good luck to you and I hope both of our children grow and grow!! jhd on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259323 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 20:24:05 +0000 jhd 2259323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ LO went through a phase where eating was very stressful and we played music videos from YouTube to help him relax. I don't know how you feel about screen time, but our LO loves the nursery rhymes etc. from Little Baby Bum. He doesn't need that anymore, but for a few weeks when things were stressful we let him watch. We also let him have his Little People toys at his high chair to let him play a little. This was when he was around 9 months and not super mobile yet though. lovehoneybee on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259321 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 20:21:46 +0000 lovehoneybee 2259321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ One weird thing that helped us was moving him out of the high chair (or rather, taking the tray off of his FP booster seat) and pulling him right up to the table. It's was messier this way (at first), but he seemed to feel like he was more a part of the meal, and was more willing to eat. lady grey on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259318 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 20:19:46 +0000 lady grey 2259318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm sorry to hear how stressed out you are :( Here are some tips from Janet Lansbury's website that may be helpful, but it does sound like you've already tried some of these: <a href="http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/10/dodging-a-toddler-food-fight/" rel="nofollow">http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/10/dodging-a-toddler-food-fight/</a> This might not work at all for your toddler, but what about trying this approach of feeding you LO at a small table? <a href="http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/01/baby-table-manners/" rel="nofollow">http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/01/baby-table-manners/</a> Would you consider going to see a pediatric nutritionist/feding therapist? They may have some ideas to help support you guys in this. If you're really at the end of your rope then its time to reach out for help from a specialist! Tanjowen on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259302 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 20:01:25 +0000 Tanjowen 2259302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @ScarletBegonia: My nephew is the same way concerning the percentiles, and even now at 8 years old is "small" but healthy. He's also the most active kid I've ever come across and never stops moving. One thing that helped my sister was realizing he was a grazer. She ended up buying a small kids table and kept a healthy variety of food with high caloric impact (think hummus/pretzels/avocado on crackers/boiled eggs/cheese slices) on it he could run by and grab during the day. He was never big on sitting down and eating meals until about age 3 or 4? It helped him eat throughout the day and lowered her stress level once she realized he just wasn't going to do set meal times. It's not for everyone,but maybe an idea that will help. catomd00 on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259277 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 19:40:15 +0000 catomd00 2259277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Try to look at his intake over the course of a week instead of by day or meal. I think you need to trust him and the process. It's our job to provide healthy meals, but it's up to them to decide what and how much to eat. I was never on the growth chart as a child to the point they thought my mom was starving me! And I turned out just fine! I pretty much let my DD (17 months) do whatever she wants at Meal time - whether that be high chair, my lap, on her playmat, standing on a big chair at the table, etc. I know she eats well other places so I really just don't fight it at dinner. She's on the chart but low (I think 7th percentile at her 15 month visit) and the Ped wasn't concerned at all despite her consistently dropping. MrsSRS on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259254 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 19:24:21 +0000 MrsSRS 2259254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ For a permanent fix for your stressful meals you need to read Ellyn Satter's books! Try her website for some quick help, maybe? Google her name and it will pop up. For the next three nights, try to remember that three meals will not impact his growth curve, and he ate at lunch. Lots of toddlers aren't very hungry at dinner time. Deep breaths. Maybe try reading a story out loud during dinner to your toddler to give both of you something cheerful to focus on? Mrs. Champagne on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259252 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 19:21:49 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2259252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ This might be horrible advice in the long term but help short term. My son often throws everything off his tray. When we declared dinner was over he walked around and ate off the floor. Then would run to us for bites off our plates. Tonight for the first time we let him stand up and eat. He ate an entire bowl of chicken and cheese using a fork and did it all himself!! I was shocked! He then ran around while DH fed him bites of yogurt. It's working for now so we are doing it (just at dinner time I guess) Might be something to try if you're worried about weight! Good luck. Eating is so frustrating. ScarletBegonia on "How do you manage toddler eating stress?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-manage-toddler-eating-stress#post-2259246 Sun, 09 Aug 2015 19:12:16 +0000 ScarletBegonia 2259246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Ugh, every post I've started in like the last 6 months is to do with eating or weight :( So my son (17 months) goes up and down in terms of eating and he's in a major DOWN phase at the moment. He seems to really hate his high chair and will pretty much eat nothing at home with us, but will happily eat his whole lunch and seconds at daycare. I think we've created a negative stressful eating situation for him at home, and now I don't know what to do about it. He is low on the growth charts and when he was 11 months he dropped off completely so we're always stressed about him getting enough. When he refuses to eat my stomach ties up in knots and I have to constantly hold back tears (in fact, I'm holding back tears now just typing this). I KNOW he can pick up on my stress and that we've gotten into a vicious cycle, but I don't know what to do to stop it. Does anyone have any advice on how to minimise my stress and make mealtimes more enjoyable? We do all the usual stuff - eat with him if at all possible, small portions on the plate, let him play with his food, have a set time for eating, minimise distractions, etc. I feel like I'm approaching the end of my tether and I'm doing dinner alone the next 3 nights, I'm already dreading it. Help, please!?