https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 03:15:37 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant/page/2#post-1865484 Wed, 17 Sep 2014 06:51:26 +0000 JoJoGirl 1865484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: I wished those days away and I don't regret it. Life is 1000000x better now. Don't feel bad, some moms and babies have a tough time when they are super young.</p> <p>I have a friend who had a SUPER easygoing baby. They were constantly out to dinner etc when she was young. Now that she's older, my friend is like "well, it's more fun, but it's also harder than when she was super young and easy to drag around". For us, things have just gotten better and better. So there are two sides of every coin :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant/page/2#post-1864540 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 12:47:39 +0000 Mae 1864540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Totally agree. My fear of her crying in public is because I having always haaaated babies crying in public. DH and I always swore we'd never be those people who imposed our offspring on the world, so we do everything possible to make sure she doesn't freak out in public and disturb people. </p> <p>Also, I guess our issue is not so much the initial meltdown because she actually rarely meltdown in public (she is usually too distracted to be upset, and I wear her when we are out which she likes). But the issue is by the time we get home then she is overtired and it ruins literally the rest of the day. So its not A meltdown I'm trying to avoid. It's the onslaught waiting for us the rest of the day if her schedule is tinkered with. </p> <p>@ellewoods84: Yes to wishing these days away. I had that meltdown on Saturday, not for this reason but due to a really horrible day of nap refusal and screaming. And I told my husband that it sucks because she's so awesome when she's happy and I want to cherish this time I'm home with her and not be waiting for her to grow up. But at the same time, on the hard days.. its like omg baby get a little bigger so you're not ALL I can do in a day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant/page/2#post-1864471 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 12:00:08 +0000 ellewoods84 1864471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: I just had a little sob fest over this last night. I was feeling the exact same way, I could have written your post! I pretty much stay at home all day when my husband is at work and then on the weekends, we occasionally will go out, but we try not to mess with her naps because we are so afraid that she will become overtired and we will have a horrible night because of it. Who knows if thats true, but we are scared, lol. But, then I try to remind myself that she is only 4 months old. In just a couple months, she won't be napping 1 million times a day and we will be able to do more. I feel bad because I kind of feel like I am wishing away this time, but I am looking forward to when we can leave the house for longer than 1 hour. But, like others have said, I do get jealous when I see other babies out and about while I feel like we are stuck at home because O baby would have a meltdown if we did that, etc. But, at the same time, sometimes we just go ahead and do what we want to do. If she has a meltdown, well, so be it. We cannot let her rule our entire lives! O baby still will not take a bottle, so I have not been able to be away from her longer than 2.5 hours which is depressing in itself (I mean, I love her, but it would be wonderful if I could catch a break). Anyways, I think a lot of people feel the same way you do, so you are not alone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant/page/2#post-1864373 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 11:17:30 +0000 Anagram 1864373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: my mom would be like, "oh, she's fine! Everyone understands that sometimes babies cry." :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant/page/2#post-1864329 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 10:59:35 +0000 JoJoGirl 1864329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Oh I agree. Maybe we were over-ambitious taking her to a nice restaurant when she was that young, but the host asked us to step outside because she was SO LOUD and screaming bloody murder non-stop. We sat to order and have a cup of coffee with her crying and by the time the food came, I was outside. That happens a few times and you give up :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant/page/2#post-1864323 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 10:57:41 +0000 Anagram 1864323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: It so depends on what type of personality the parents have, too!. I personally have major guilt when my LO is obviously over tired and cranky and zombie like because we're out and it's her nap time (or bed time) and she's not in her crib at home. But my mother (who had 6 kids), is always like, "she's fine! She's just making a little noise...let's keep going!".</p> <p>I get uncomfortable when LO is whining and kind of making loud, whiney moans in public but my mom always thinks LO is "totally fine" and "not bothering anyone", while I am super super concerned with how other people may not like the noises coming from a nearby baby while they are eating/shopping/etc.</p> <p>And needless to say, my mom took us everywhere and I am not that kind of parent. We just have different tolerances for what is acceptable behavior in public and I just care much, much more about my baby being tired whereas my mom is more like, as long as she isn't nuclear, she's fine.</p> <p>But I'm a first time mom and my mom had 6 kids and has 7 grandkids, so who knows...I will probably up my tolerance a lot when we have more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant/page/2#post-1864311 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 10:52:07 +0000 JoJoGirl 1864311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: See I had the opposite experience. The more we took her out and about at the beginning, the more traumatized I got. We said "oh she'll adapt", but she never did, and the outings seemed less and less worth the large amount of trouble. I'll never forget father's day brunch last year when LO was 6 weeks old and DH ate by himself while I stood outside the restaurant furiously swinging LO in her car seat to get her to stop screaming. When he was done, he took over swinging and I shoveled the (expensive) food down my gullet alone so we could get out of there. Eventually I just gave up trying to make her adapt. Staying home was just less stressful and expensive :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant/page/2#post-1864294 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 10:45:06 +0000 Greentea 1864294@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly I didn't. I did not have a sleepy baby. I had a screaming baby. We would go out but it took planning and couldn't be at a specific time. We did lots of walks in the ergo. She hated the car seat and stroller. I couldn't participate in life until she was over a year. It just slowly got better and better - 6 months was an improvement and then 9 was even better... the more I do the more confidence I have, as others have mentioned but it was not a pleasant first year. Kid would only sleep while held or in an ergo... </p> <p>If we have any more I think I will be much more chill if the baby is screaming or pooping all over in public or what have you. First baby stressed me out :) never once did she sleep in her carseat... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant/page/2#post-1864281 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 10:30:47 +0000 yoursilverlining 1864281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LuLu Mom: This was us too. </p> <p>My LO was not a very easy baby, but we had her out and about from day 1, so she had to adapt to taking a nap while being worn, or in the stroller or in the car. </p> <p>I also think that the more you do, the more comfortable you get. At first doing anything or going anywhere seems daunting, especially if you are afraid of a meltdown, or a diaper blow-out or whatever. You know what though, it happens to everyone! If you're out eating and a full on non-stop meltdown begins, you can always leave. Same with anywhere else. The more I took LO out, knowing that yes, her colicky little nature could flare up at any time, but that what would be would be, the more comfortable and less stressed I got. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant/page/2#post-1864273 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 10:24:19 +0000 Anagram 1864273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our baby was never an easy sleeper, so I always had to make the choice of going out past her naps/bed and paying consequences later (consequences being overtired child who refuses to go to sleep, even more wakeups at night, like 4-6 wakeups) or staying home.</p> <p>That meant that 90% of the time, I chose to adhere to a pretty consistent schedule of naps and bedtimes at home in her crib. And the other 10% of the time had to be reallllly worth it or unavoidable for me to consider it. Examples like long road trips to see family, Christmas celebrations with family, the very occasional birthday or doctor apt that was right at nap time.</p> <p>This question is so going to depend on what kind of sleeper the child is. Mine is not a good sleeper and I now have 2 different daycares who have complained about her "bad sleeping" to confirm what I already know--my little lady does not like sleep in loud environments. =) At her current daycare, out of a room of 12 babies, she has the distinction of being the one that gives them the most trouble at naps! I just tell them, yup--sounds familiar! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant/page/2#post-1864265 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 10:19:26 +0000 ShootingStar 1864265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a pretty flexible baby and we just cart him around everywhere and he generally sleeps on the go. It was super easy as a newborn - he slept everywhere and we were still using the bucket seat, so we'd just pick him up and plop him in the stroller. </p> <p>Now at almost 10 months it's a little harder if we're doing something where we're in and out of the car. We need to either have a long car ride, or we need to get somewhere and have him in the stroller. We also have to be careful that we're not in restaurant when naptime crankiness hits. </p> <p>But he does really well now on the 2-3-4 schedule, so we generally stay in during the morning (he wakes ~7, sleeps ~9-11) and then we'll go out to lunch and run errands/go shopping, etc. He's also a lot more flexible for the afternoon nap than the morning one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant/page/2#post-1864238 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 10:04:39 +0000 AmandaB8 1864238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had this issue right around 4 months also - until then, she would sleep anywhere. 4-5 months was rough. Now, at 8 months, she's awake longer, and will just take catnaps if we're out and about. It gets better, and this stage doesn't last long! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant/page/2#post-1864079 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 08:48:22 +0000 LuLu Mom 1864079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know it's not always the most popular choice, but DH and I decided that DD would not rule our life and that she would have to learn to adapt (within reason of course.) We wanted to attend the family events, friend get togethers, ect. and we just brought DD with us. We usually had her stroller and would take her for a quick walk (sure fire way to get her to nap) and she would take her normal nap in there while we socialized. The only thing we did not mess with was her bedtime, we made sure we were home by her normal bedtime because she slept thru the night consistently when a baby we did not want to mess with that. However, we are a lot more lenient now at 2 and if we are out and about and she seems okay we will stretch it another hour or so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant/page/2#post-1864064 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 08:43:02 +0000 anewme 1864064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It has a lot to do with the personality and needs of your LO and also how determined you are to get out there and just do it. I think my daughter was a little less maintenance when she was born so she went everywhere with me at a very young age. When DS came along, she was almost 2. He was very high maintenance. He was all about nursing, hated the car seats. It did limit what we could do for awhile. But I was just sick of being home or being left out of life activities. We did our best to do things around his schedule, but even that was just highly unpredictable. We definitely did our fair share of doing our best to go out and get the most out of a 1.5 hour outing and "trying" to make it look effortless. But everyone with a kid knows that nothing is ever effortless with them. I think sometimes that's all you can ask for or need. It got a lot better as he got older and I've taken them on several road trips (with friends) by myself without husband. Just plan short but sweet things you can do to get out of the house and have some fun, don't be intimidated or talk yourself out of something because you feel stressed. Experience also helps a lot too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant/page/2#post-1864001 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 08:14:03 +0000 immabeetoo 1864001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't. I remember feeling triumphant when we got to cvs and back without tears. All kids are different! It will pass I promise and life will go back to normal.</p> <p>It got way easier for us at six months :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant/page/2#post-1863994 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 08:10:41 +0000 Little Misters Mom 1863994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: I'm right there with you. I consider it a major victory when we manage to take a walk in the neighborhood without him screaming. I find it almost impossible to comfort him while out and about. We get about 45 minutes of available time (not changing, feeding) before he needs to get ready for the next nap. I feel guilty even thinking "oh he might be a difficult child." There was never a "honeymoon period." But I'm telling myself everything in a phase and it's ok to just take some things in survival mode (and secretly think mean, jealous thoughts about parents with quiet, mellow babies). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant#post-1863959 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 07:52:31 +0000 Mae 1863959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you everyone for all of the responses! I'm sorry I posted and disappeared, LO had her 4mo shots yesterday and had a rough day so I wasn't really on HB much. </p> <p>But it really helps to know that so many people just holed up like we have been. I just have been feeling like maybe I'm doing this "wrong" because we keep declining invites to places and I feel like people are eye-roll-y since she's not really a newborn anymore. But with 4 naps a day I'm just like... how? </p> <p>Right now the dream of 2 naps/day seems a long ways away. I kept LO up for 2 hrs last night because she woke up at an awkward time from her last nap and omg it was rough. Chickadee is NOT ready to be awake more than 1.5 hrs at a time yet lol. But I know it'll happen some day. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant#post-1863953 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 07:47:32 +0000 LemonLong 1863953@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We went out with my kids from the very beginning. Nap time was never in the crib, it was somewhere with light and noise so they could sleep through anything. My kids were on strict schedules but it didn't limit us. I fed them every 3 hours wherever we were, they could nap in their car seat or wherever, and we would just need to be home in time for bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant#post-1863947 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 07:33:22 +0000 JoJoGirl 1863947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, it depends on the baby. The reason you see people out with a baby "living their life" is because their babies are easygoing and lend themselves to that. Most people are home like you are. We didn't go anywhere until her naps got more predictable and she was down to 2/day (maybe 5-6 months?). Before that people came to us to hang out or I just stayed home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant#post-1863923 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 07:02:28 +0000 looch 1863923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had to practice, sounds ridiculous, but the more you do something, the easier it becomes. </p> <p>The first time out, I think I made it to the parking lot if the grocery store, and that is totally okay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant#post-1863913 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 06:20:24 +0000 illumina 1863913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It was really tough for us at that age. When she was a newborn, we wore her everywhere so we could do about our normal life (mostly!), then she got to 4 months and would only sleep well in the cot or the car. Going out was tough then until around 6 months when she went down to 2 naps...and like a pp said, as long as she got a good morning nap (1.5hrs) at home, we were good to go out and then she'd have a 30 minute cat nap on the way home in the afternoon. Around 7-8 months, she was actually able to go 4-5hrs from that morning nap until the cat nap so as long as she was entertained we could spent a good chunk of time out. She's 12 months now and is the most flexible she's ever been! She is mostly on a 1 nap schedule, but can switch to 2 naps without issue if we're out...she sleeps in the Ergo still, in the pushchair, in the car...she even slept on me on the plane last week for the first time in ages! I don't know whether all this is because she's gotten older or because we've imposed our life on her more and she's learned to fit in :) Anyway! Just wanted to show you that it gets better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant#post-1863901 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 04:42:57 +0000 lamariniere 1863901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's a combo of a lot of things. With our first LO1, it was super stressful to go out, he was high needs, cried a lot, wanted to nurse constantly, etc. And as a FTM, I didn't want to be the stressed out lady with the wailing baby. We eventually started going out more around the 3ish month mark when nursing was no longer a struggle. He didn't really nap in the stroller at that point, but we could go to brunch and run errands and it was usually ok.</p> <p>As for DD, she has been forced from day 1 to get in the groove with our lives. However, she is a super relaxed, easy baby and has always just gone along for the ride no problem!</p> <p>But I also agree with @plantains: when in doubt, whip out the boob! haha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant#post-1863884 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 01:26:46 +0000 sarac 1863884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I was one of those people you've seen, and I can say - my baby was not like yours. My baby slept in the car, stroller, or pouch if she was tired. She nursed when she was hungry. The rest of the time, she was happy to just go about my business. That was all because of her, not because of any specific parenting on my part. </p> <p>If I'd had a baby like yours, I likely would have lived your life. I won't sing you some song about how it goes by so quickly! Treasure it! But maybe you can try to resist the pressure to be having fun! Living your life! You know what your baby needs, and you can do it. It won't be forever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant#post-1863876 Tue, 16 Sep 2014 00:49:25 +0000 birdofafeather 1863876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my kid was really flexible from the start. we wore her, put her in her car seat, strolled her, whatever and took her wherever when she was little. it wasn't until she got bigger/consolidated her naps to 2 then 1 that we had more of a routine and i wanted to be back home for nap time. and even still that's because i WAH and that's when i get my work done! we were camping last week (at 20 months) and she took 1ish nap a day anywhere from 30 minutes to 1 hour (normally sleeps 2-3 hours for her 1 nap) and she was (mostly) FINE. so we really lucked out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant#post-1863857 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 23:06:54 +0000 Ginabean3 1863857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it depends on personality....of the baby and of the parents! Our daughter was pretty easy to take out and about everywhere...but maybe that's because we continued to go out and about and didn't really plan our activities around her so she had to adapt. I think it was probably a combo of both....nature and nurture. But, I'm also the type of person who doesn't really bat an eye if she melts down in public. If she does, she does...I don't let it stop me from trying to go out to do something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant#post-1863837 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 22:26:06 +0000 misstatas 1863837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't. LO is high needs and I have a laundry list of what can set her off. Nursing doesn't always calm her down either. I do try and run at least one errand a day when we are home together, only because she likes getting out of the house. She really likes her baby carrier as long as we are walking and not standing still. But again, it is for a very short amount of time in very special circumstances and I can't just take her to brunch to gab with girlfriends. Basically I just deal and try to give DH as many breaks as he needs for his mental health. Once every few weeks we drop her off with the in-laws and go on a date. I hope it gets easier as she gets older or I find somethting I want to do badly enough to arrange for a sitter. Right now I have just kind of accepted defeat! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant#post-1863776 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 21:00:23 +0000 Glitter 1863776@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think we just have a really easy going baby - or so I keep hearing. We take him everywhere and our life really hasn't changed much since he's been born. He was shopping with me today from 11 to 3. When he's tired he falls asleep wherever and I nurse wherever. Nursing in the Ergo is really easy when I'm out and about with him. We've done weddings and parties at home and at friends' houses since he's been born. If he gets fussy I nurse him and he calms down or falls asleep. He also has no set schedule during the day so I guess he just goes with the flow. I really think it's just his personality though, not anything special that DH or I have done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant#post-1863767 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 20:50:00 +0000 jedeve 1863767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: this. </p> <p>Some other mom with a screaming baby is seeing you in Target and thinking, "how does she do it??" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant#post-1863766 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 20:48:14 +0000 Mrs. Tea 1863766@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: it sounds like we have very similar little ones. I still look at people with really little ones that are out and about with great envy! I did find once I put her on a schedule she was actually pretty flexible oddly enough. When we were out occasionally at nap time she would just fall asleep like a switch went off ha ha! Hang in there Mama, it gets easier I promise :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-participate-in-life-with-a-young-infant#post-1863757 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 20:39:39 +0000 kml636 1863757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is so interesting. My DD #1 we took everywhere, all the time, went on like 5 airplane trips her first year. She always would sleep in the carseat or ergo.</p> <p>DD#2 is 8 weeks and she screams in the carseat. She will sleep in the baby k'tan or ergo but not very well. It is so stressful trying to take her places. </p> <p>So basically, it's just based on personality!!! </p>