https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 22 May 2026 00:42:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending/page/2#post-1474551 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 15:06:19 +0000 Greentea 1474551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: perfectly stated! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending/page/2#post-1474518 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 15:03:07 +0000 Arden 1474518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HLK208: Thank you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending/page/2#post-1474517 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 15:03:01 +0000 MrsH 1474517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We prioritize saving and putting money away for retirement. We also live well below our means. After that we pay our bills and spend money frugally. I worked hard for my money I'm going to work hard to spend it too.</p> <p>We've never been criticized unless you count my in laws making comments about what we do have. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending/page/2#post-1474464 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 14:55:47 +0000 Greentea 1474464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think spoiling has more to do with treatment than material things.</p> <p>I personally think quality food is extremely important. I also think this is so personal, there isn't a right or wrong. Whatever you value and what works for you.</p> <p>We have a small income but I prioritize buying quality things. I have never been sorry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending/page/2#post-1474420 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 14:50:50 +0000 HLK208 1474420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: I'll be the odd one out and say...you're still allowed to live even if you're on a tight budget! $25 a week, for second hand brand name clothes isn't horrible. You could resell them if they stay in good shape, which is likely since they are high quality. And you know what...we made a third of what we make now when B was one, we paid through the nose for family photos and yeah, we had to do without to pay for them but it was so worth it. We'll never have that time back with him and coming down the stairs in my house now and looking at some of our photos, makes my day. Especially now that he's going into kindergarten next year. No, our savings wasn't ideal back then but it took sometime to get there. </p> <p>It's your life, your money and it's about what makes you happy. As long as you (in general) continue to strive to be better then I don't see a problem at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending/page/2#post-1473832 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 13:34:28 +0000 Arden 1473832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone. I do want to clarify something - up until around the time Vi was born, we were struggling a lot more than we are now. We were on SNAP while I was pregnant and we could afford NO extras.<br /> Since that time, he got a higher paying job and we are no longer on any assistance, haven't been for over a year. I would never be buying frivolous things if that were the case.</p> <p>Yes, we are putting money into savings. Not a lot, but more than is budgeted to personal money.</p> <p>I guess perhaps we might be leaning towards spoiling her and we need to step back and take a look at it together before she gets older. Thanks for your input, everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending/page/2#post-1473620 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 12:59:22 +0000 pinkcupcake 1473620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: Based on some of the other comments, I went back and read some of your older posts, and I am going to revise my previous comment. </p> <p>$25 / week doesn't sound like a lot until you look at what it's being spent in lieu of. Is there money being put into a college savings account? Are you putting money into a retirement account for you &amp; your SO? Do you have an emergency cushion you can depend on in case anything happened? I personally would not spend 10% of my income on anything fun *if* all those other more important, necessary matters were not being fully and completely funded. </p> <p>From your other posts, it sounded like your family was struggling financially quite a bit and were on government assistance. If that's the case, then yes, I personally *DO* think it's frivolous to spend on designer clothing for a baby or professional photographs. I feel like people should be 100% self-reliant (and be able to remain so, which means making sure you have enough saved up in case an emergency or catastrophe hits) *before* spending money on luxury goods. </p> <p>I'm going to agree w/ @MamaMoose: (I feel like lately I've been concurring w/everything you write!) and say ultimately, it's your money, do as you will, and if you don't want people to comment on your spending habits, don't talk about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending/page/2#post-1473400 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 12:30:11 +0000 mrs. wagon 1473400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try not to comment on money posts, but here's my two cents (hehe)</p> <p>every family is different, everyone's priorities are different. Everyone's priorities are very near and dear to them, so if yours do not exactly align with theirs, they will always have something to criticize. </p> <p>Don't live beyond your means and you will be fine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending/page/2#post-1473358 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 12:25:23 +0000 deerylou 1473358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Everyone prioritizes differently. What strikes one individual as frivolous spending may be important to another. Personally, we tend to live simply, (especially since I currently stay home, and we survive off my husband's moderate income), and value an ability to save for our futures (emergency fund, education, retirement). For me personally, shelling out for designer duds and pricey toys, especially for an infant or young child, is not especially worth it. Professional photography is wonderful, but not in our budget to enjoy on the regular, unless we skimp on putting money away for the future. Our daughter does admittedly have a nice wardrobe and some expensive gear, but she benefits from gently used items from a wonderful, close friend (with a very high household income), and surprises from a doting grandmother. Otherwise, we're all about consignment, super sales, or learning to be happy without.</p> <p>However, there is something to be said for finding happiness, in the moment. Sometimes, that requires "unnecessary" spending. We have a membership to the local baby gymboree, have started shopping for a swim school, and recently attended a classical concert, for kids. When we eat out, we like to support local businesses, and enjoy a more farm-to-table experience. This tends to cost more than a quick jaunt to Applebees, so we budget for it, appropriately. We buy local, wholesome ingredients, as we cook at home, almost exclusively. I also gravitate towards "green" body and household products. All of this may seem silly to another family but again - priorities and lifestyles vary.</p> <p>In the end, you can always spend or save your money in more thoughtful, intelligent ways. I try to keep our financial matters close to home, as I feel you tend to open yourself up to side eyes and criticism when you choose to be vocal about money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending/page/2#post-1472043 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 09:12:56 +0000 MamaMoose 1472043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: I think that if you talk about your spending, then you open yourself up to opinions. I'll be 100% honest with you, your spending habits that you've mentioned on here have certainly raised my eyebrows. Two examples I can think of are that you have mentioned having no money to buy a couch to sit on, and no money to afford counseling when you were dealing with some pretty heavy anxiety. For me, it doesn't seem responsible to spend $25/week on designer clothes for your daughter, and deny yourself medical care that it seemed like you were in pretty desperate need of. And are you saving for your future? I personally wouldn't include "fun" money in my budget until I was at a point where I was maxing out my ability to at least contribute to a retirement fund. </p> <p>That being said, it's YOUR money, and you get to choose what to do with it. But if you don't want opinions on your budgeting, I wouldn't talk about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1472041 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 09:11:12 +0000 snowjewelz 1472041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you got criticism for your spending/budgeting habits! No two families are alike. First off, you are a saver to start with so it's not like you're spending a ton for your kids and not making it back somewhere else. What's important to other people (tv, internet, etc) don't seem to be as important to you and there is nothing wrong with that! I think it's GREAT that you are frugal, but you're not stingy with your money; you just choose to spend it where it's worth it for you and that's awesome! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1472039 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 09:10:01 +0000 looch 1472039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is why I don't read any blogs any more. It's just too tempting to spend money on things and I frankly don't like the fact that most of the people touting things on blogs get them for free. It's not a realistic picture for a lot of people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1472038 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 09:09:53 +0000 Mae 1472038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How you spend your money is your business, and anyone that likes to talk is going to find something to talk about regardless. So whatever. </p> <p>The only thing I really feel strongly about prioritizing is savings. We're lucky that out income exceeds our basic needs at this point and I want to be very careful to prepare for our future rather than spend everything we have every month. So, we did figure out a budget that seemed reasonable to us and then figured out what we could put in savings (split between emergency savings, regular savings for fun stuff and also random unexpected stuff like car trouble, and saving up for a new car). We pay into savings first. Beyond that--- how we choose to spend our money-- or how anyone else prioritizes their money-- is not really anyone's business IMO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1472031 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 09:08:16 +0000 prettylizy 1472031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: omg this is so true. Now that I'm off work and waiting for BB#2 all I want to do is shop all day long for cute things for DD. Keeping up with the Internet Jonses is a full time job and I just can't! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1472025 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 09:03:29 +0000 Silva 1472025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: totally agree. Everything is in your face with "buy this! Your baby will be a cute hipster! Everyone will think you are the coolest, most fashionable, loving mom ever! And look- it's on sale!"<br /> Plus, I get bored out of my skull sometimes and fun packages in the mail or a spin around the consignment shop or tj Maxx makes me feel better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1472021 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 09:01:42 +0000 prettylizy 1472021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's incredibly personal, and no two families can have the same formula. DH and I like nice things, but we prioritized debt repayment and aggressive retirement savings right now. We don't want for much, but we aren't frivolous at all either. We try to keep the long run in focus. Dd doesn't know that the shirt she is wearing we bought in a used lot of clothes for $20 and her pants are a Carter's set from Costco. Because of stuff like this we're overpaying our mortgage and putting way more than necessary into retirement now. 10 years from now we won't have to be so aggressive and she will know the difference. Does that make sense? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1472012 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 08:56:34 +0000 immabeetoo 1472012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: I think blogs and the Internet really fuel this, unfortunately! I'm trying to turn some of my shopping desire into creating desire (which of course also has its separate costs, don't get me wrong). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1472008 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 08:55:08 +0000 immabeetoo 1472008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: said a lot of what I think.</p> <p>We prioritize savings emergency fund and retirement. Then healthy and local foods. I am working hard to stop impulse buying clothes, even if they are from goodwill, for LO and have a specific needs list and try to make the bulk of it myself. No one questions our choices because we don't really discuss them I guess? It's just not discussed.</p> <p>To echo others, and I don't want this to come across as a personal attack, I know I've read you saying mental health was out of financial reach and that you identify as being broke/poor. To me, that doesn't equate with purchasing nice baby clothes and shoes. I don't think that's really spoiling her, since I doubt she cares about stuff like that especially at this age. But if you're talking about similar financial constraints to family members I'm guessing they are questioning from a similar place.</p> <p>With that being said, I'm sure I've said things are out of our budget before that actually weren't, I just didn't want to pay for them. You're not accountable to anyone for how you budget. But yes, in my life it's hard not to question,out of love and concern, family who talk about scrambling for groceries but also regularly travel (or similar examples), although so far I've been able to hold my tongue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1472005 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 08:53:22 +0000 Smurfette 1472005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is why I don't talk money with people. It your business how you spend your money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1471996 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 08:50:39 +0000 Silva 1471996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I thought your comment was really eloquent. We can't afford much of anything right now because we decided as a family that I was going to stay at home for awhile. In a few years our financial picture will look very different, but it's hard to be patient! We too are prioritizing our future home, but as I sit on our busted futon I get a little pouty. It's really hard not to compare "things" with other people. And I want ALL the things. But like I said, this is honestly one of my most disliked parts of myself, and something I'm trying to change. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1471966 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 08:34:21 +0000 Anagram 1471966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: agree! I was trying to say the same thing, just....much longer. I type fast, so it's basically stream-of-conciousness. heh </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1471965 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 08:33:28 +0000 Anagram 1471965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: To answer your original question...I think it's complicated. Especially in light of past posts I've read from you about not being able to afford a second nursing tank, being stressed over money, etc. I guess things like photography and clothes and birthdays really depend on the overall financial picture.</p> <p>Like you, I emotionally prioritize nice things for my baby, like pretty photos and cute clothes. And I will admit that these things are probably fueled by seeing other people's nice photos and pretty nurseries, etc on FB, Pinterest, and here on HB. My first instinct would be to scrimp on something like food or things that I kind of need for myself, to afford something like newborn photos for my LO.</p> <p>However, my husband is the opposite and considers all of those things (any kind of designer clothing for a baby, even on sale; fancy photo sessions as opposed to taking our own or taking LO to Target for pictures) to be a total waste of money.</p> <p>And at the end of the day....really, HE's right. Babies don't know or care what they are wearing, so long as it's clean. Our desire for our babies to be mini hipsters/mini preps wearing Tea Collection and Freshly Picked moccasins is dumb when those things can only be worn a very short time by an infant who doesn't care. They are really, truly (if we look down deep and can admit it to ourselves) very frivolous things to spend money on.</p> <p>I sometimes get the "why don't we have nice things" blues when I see our cheap kitchen table and chairs, and get annoyed that we don't have curtains in our house or bedside tables next to our bed or rugs! We have crap knives and like..1 rusty pot that I cook everything in.</p> <p>Especially when I know our combined income and I know we make probably twice as much as a lot of our friends make, but somehow they have nicer places and nicer "things" and nicer clothes for their baby.</p> <p>But then my husband reminded me that we were able to move to one of the most expensive housing markets in the country and buy a place with 25% down. With a sum that is more than 3 times my annual salary. And have a good amount of money left in investments and savings. And how many people our age are able to do that?</p> <p>So at the end of the day, I work hard to squelch my desire to consume, consume, consume...even on behalf on my daughter (I know we as moms want to say that spending for our children is always a good cause). I'd say I'm only successful part of the time, and i do get frustrated sometimes that my husband doesn't want to spend on hardly anything....<br /> But it's nice to know that if he lost his job tomorrow, we'd be okay for a year.</p> <p>So back to your original question: Personally, I think $300 is not a lot to spend on a 1 day Bday party, if all your other needs are covered and you have saved enough to account for your husband losing his job and saving for retirement, major illness, etc.</p> <p>If those things aren't covered...maybe $300 IS too much. I don't know. In any case, it's definitely complicated and I understand your desire for nice things for your LO. As others have said, it's probably a good idea not to discuss finances with family any more so you don't have to deal with their judgement. If they don't know that you can't afford certain things, then they won't judge when you decide to splurge in other areas. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1471897 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 07:25:00 +0000 Silva 1471897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We all get to decide how we spend money and what we spend it on. I do think its important to prioritize things like savings, life insurance, etc. so that we can be prepared for crises. In a previous thread, about buying designer clothes for a teen so that she can fit in, I mentioned that I am trying very hard to curb my unnecessary spending because I want to set a good example for my daughter.<br /> I am aware of the urge to buy her "fancy" labels for the sake of the label. I don't want to raise a daughter who validates herself externally, so I'm trying to change that about myself. It's something I'm embarrassed of about myself- unnecessary consumerism to boost my self esteem.<br /> I buy quality clothing and toys for her, but when she needs it, not when I want it for the sake of a cute OOTD. </p> <p>Again,w e get to do whatever we want with our money, and I'm not looking for an explanation from you because you don't owe me one, but if you are feeling insecure or uncomfortable with your families judgements, perhaps there is some truth to them or something about your spending choices that you should look more closely at.</p> <p>It's difficult for me to face these things about myself, and maybe none of that is going on for you, but I thought I'd throw it out there.</p> <p>Eta: obviously, my comment isn't about budgeting. The amount you spend is up to you and your family. I was commenting more on the emotional reasons we spend, and it's obviously coming from personal experience :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1471887 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 07:18:27 +0000 hotchildinthecity 1471887@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>People think its weird that we travel a lot and have "nice things" but that we still rent. Buying in NYC is a little weird though. A place we would want to live would be about $500k with a 25 percent down payment. Then co-op fees and all of that. We would have to penny pinch for so long to afford a place that it just doesnt make sense for us right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1471881 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 07:15:44 +0000 looch 1471881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>People will always have something to say, no matter how much you earn or how much you spend.</p> <p>I think it is really your own insecurities at play. We all have situations where we feel judged about finances.</p> <p>Eta: do you want those things that you've cut out? I really don't see with the issue is in terms of the things you are spending money on.</p> <p>You work, right? Don't you have income from all these births you attend? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1471875 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 07:06:43 +0000 Beyond2 1471875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We prioritize saving above spending in our home. We don't have a fancy home or cars, but what we have works well for us. We don't spend money just to spend it, like we don't walk around the mall or go out to eat just for something to do. I haven't bought clothes in years but when I do I shop second hand. I've never bought DS a new outfit or toy...they've always been second hand. We spend a large part of our budget on farm stuff because it is important to us to raise our own humane meats and we enjoy caring for a garden and animals... They bring many positives to our lives and will teach our children a lot of life lessons. Food for us is huge because we like to eat well. One of the reasons we don't waste money eating out is because I can cook better tasting meals from scratch. In saying that though, what we grow is organic, but I don't spend money on organic foods when I have to buy from the store. I'm not convinced that organic food is best for the earths resources as a whole. As an example, I'd rather buy the conventional apples from NY (my home state) rather than the organic ones shipped in from the state of washington. </p> <p>Really our priorities just boil down to save and stay as far from debt as possible. Put money into things we enjoy, that "give back" our investment (aka the farm). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1471790 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 01:40:58 +0000 808love 1471790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Besides the regular, groceries and gas, we prioritize paying off the house, traveling, and LOs activities. We do some entertainment, gifts, insurance, retirement and college savings as well. We cut cable, clothing, beauty products and services, home furnishings, and cell expenses to the minimum. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1471781 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 01:21:54 +0000 gingerbebe 1471781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our money philosophy is all about structuring our lifestyle in a way that maximizes our time with each other and our children. This sort of naturally means that we are very anti-debt. Our number one priority after tithing is killing our law school debts. Once our loans are paid off we will have the flexibility to consider if whether or not I should stop working and stay home. </p> <p>Then we will throw more money to retirement.</p> <p>Then its making sure our kids have a good K-12 education. Right now we're leaning towards homeschooling or private school, which would either mean a loss of my pay or higher tuition costs, but we have a few more years before that's a factor. </p> <p>Saving for a downpayment on a house is thrown in there somewhere, but we're not house crazy at the moment.</p> <p>College we're less worried about, although we will save where we can for that. Our kids will have access to free tuition at state schools bc of DH's veteran's status or they can choose to attend the college DH teaches at. If they choose to go to a different, expensive private school, we will help where we can, but they will have to work for the rest. DH and I put ourselves through school and while student loans are unfortunate, we worked very hard for our educations all the way through and we did not take our schooling for granted. </p> <p>We also don't mess around with things like our taxes, accounting, health insurance, long term disability insurance, life insurance, etc. So we pay a lot for those things. We're insured up the wazoo and we pay our accountant to keep our books and taxes in line. We're lawyers, so we like to have our stuff in order.</p> <p>The trade off for all of this is that live very frugally in every other category. We do not have any debt outside school loans. We drive older, paid off cars. We buy all of our clothes on sale or clearance. We meal plan and pack lunches. We seldom eat out (although right now during my first trimester, all bets are off) and don't really drink. We don't have cable TV. We have cell phones and Internet, but its through DH's business, which is a write-off. We live in a very cheap, somewhat run down house. When we do buy a house, it will be a moderately priced home that can be paid off in 10 years or less. We are very cognizant that all of this will impact our kids in terms of frills and toys and vacations and what not, but we think having parents that are a lot more present and involved with their lives is more important than all that other stuff. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1471758 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 00:49:01 +0000 MrsKoala 1471758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our priorities are our mortgage, utilities, food, car payments, child care, child expenses and the everything else comes next. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-prioritize-spending#post-1471752 Thu, 06 Mar 2014 00:38:36 +0000 googly-eyes 1471752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: I figured you had something in mind. :) </p>