https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 22:25:37 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1676975 Wed, 04 Jun 2014 05:46:01 +0000 Snowdrop 1676975@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AmeliaBedilia: haha I like it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1676675 Tue, 03 Jun 2014 20:33:09 +0000 AmeliaBedilia 1676675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had an idea for a response to "why don't you have kids?" I am tempted to respond, "Either birth control works or we're infertile." Maybe adding in, "which do you think?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1675753 Tue, 03 Jun 2014 14:17:54 +0000 mrs. tictactoe 1675753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have started answering honestly, though now it's "when are you having another?" I say that we had a miscarriage last year and have been trying ever since. Then they feel bad and never ask again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1675745 Tue, 03 Jun 2014 14:15:38 +0000 everbee 1675745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>this used to be a big problem for us. i would get really frustrated..i would try to give vague answers and then i would get some unsolicited advice about it will happen before i know it or not to wait too long or something. after the first two years i started to say "in God's timing" and it does work really well. now, no one asks because even though i don't talk about it, it's obvious there's something not happening since we've been married for 6+ years and no babies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1674283 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 22:12:07 +0000 As Time Goes By 1674283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's been really tough now that we're trying but no one knows! I usually respond with "we'll see" about shuts the conversation down pretty quickly without giving too much away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1674254 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 21:49:35 +0000 winter_wonder 1674254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I usually say "we'll keep you posted on any announcements." If I'm close with the person/they're family I tried to say it in a lighthearted way. But, if I feel like someone is prying or just being nosy/gossipy I say the same thing only in a very snarky voice. I find that in either case this is a reminder that asking about children is a sensitive question. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1673772 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 17:20:09 +0000 Raindrop 1673772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like these are just common questions when you get to be a certain age and status (married over 25 years old). Doesn't make it less rude, it is what it is. I'll be honest that I thought that these were innocent before but now I know better.</p> <p>Someone not close - "Maybe in 5 years" or "We are considering not having anymore"</p> <p>Someone that is close - "We are trying" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1673669 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 16:26:21 +0000 Kimberlybee 1673669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I use to get tired of these questions too so one day I responded, "Oh I might be pregnant right now with triplets"...that really shut them up. They looked confused too and didn't know how to respond. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1673652 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 16:18:24 +0000 BSB 1673652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tell them that we want to, we are trying, or just say that it's happening soon and leave it at that. </p> <p>If it's someone closer, I might mention my struggle. I know there are people that just won't get IF and so I'm careful in who I tell. I don't want to hear the stereotypical 'You need to relax or go on vacation', so in order to keep me from snapping or hating someone, I'm very selective. I do put feelers out to see if I can gauge how they will react. My coworker (a man) mentioned how he was pregnant with his third child, after I opened up to him about our struggle. If I could, it was definitely palm to forehead moment, but I kept my cool and don't bring up my IF around him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1672487 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 09:40:16 +0000 alohaorchid 1672487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get asked this usually a couple of times per week. I usually just respond with something along the lines of "who knows..." and leave it at that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1671927 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 21:26:25 +0000 brady80 1671927@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>"we're working on it" I felt like that got the point across without being too rude (even though they are rude for asking!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1671251 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 12:34:14 +0000 simplyfelicity 1671251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just say something to the effect of "when God decides the time is right." That usually does the trick because a.) It's none of their business b.) It's not a long explanation and c.) They are reminded of the fact that I am not in control over this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1671245 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 12:29:08 +0000 Happygal 1671245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've never been asked either of those questions! </p> <p>I have been frequently asked, "Do you have children?" at my church when meeting new people. That innocent question threw me off. I learned to say, "Not now, but we really hope to in the future." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1671226 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 12:03:42 +0000 AmeliaBedilia 1671226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sophia: Sorry you had to go through this. I will keep you in my prayers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1671203 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 10:55:13 +0000 Sapphiresun 1671203@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For when are you having kids, I usually went with "we're working on it" or "as soon as possible".</p> <p>Why don't you have kids wasn't asked as commonly, but once I started being more open about IF, I'd say "well, turns out I wasted a lot of money on birth control", or "it's not always as easy you'd think". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1671163 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 09:56:40 +0000 Sophia 1671163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Over Memorial Day weekend, a cousin who has been known to be rude asked me in a very rude way in front of a ton of other relatives and I snapped back that "we don't even like kids" in a super sarcastic way. Yikes. This was also 3 drinks in, but I think it came off as a sarcastic joke. Usually I'm a little calmer about it ;) and say something along the lines of "once life settles down a bit and the time is right." This was probably my 5th uncomfortable conversation that day and this particular cousin also was shouting at me in front of everyone that I need to "eat a f-ing sandwich." I'm also in the midst of a relapse of anorexia and we're taking a break from ttc while I get my shit together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1670950 Sat, 31 May 2014 23:19:49 +0000 gingerbebe 1670950@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've said the following:</p> <p>"We're trying!" or "we're doing our best!"<br /> "Whenever God sees fit to bless us."<br /> "We'd love to have them, its just not working out right now." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1670871 Sat, 31 May 2014 21:20:30 +0000 LovelyPlum 1670871@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@californiadreams: I have, too! It may seem like an innocent question, but it is good to remember that it can be very painful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1670867 Sat, 31 May 2014 21:15:21 +0000 msmug 1670867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used to say "maybe next year" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1670852 Sat, 31 May 2014 21:03:28 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 1670852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I often said "we're working on it" or "it's harder than it seems". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1670786 Sat, 31 May 2014 20:05:41 +0000 californiadreams 1670786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i am glad to see threads like this, because i feel like i have been that idiot who has asked people when they are having kids....but being around HB is teaching me common sense and sensitivity :) i shall never ask again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1670682 Sat, 31 May 2014 17:08:59 +0000 FaithFertility 1670682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ughhhhhh this is soooo hard, I will NEVER ask this to any women wver!!!!!</p> <p>But, to me it depended on the way the question was aakes, if they were nice I'd say we were working hard on it and to please pray for us, but I've had ignorant people or old friends say things like what are you guys waiting for, is he scared, or do you think your marraige can't handle it, I'd tell them our struggle and be rude back in hopes they never say that to anyone again!!!!!!!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1670681 Sat, 31 May 2014 16:59:37 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1670681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depends on the person and whether or not I'm caught off guard. </p> <p>If I am thinking quickly and annoyed I'll say, "why do you care about the status of my uterus?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1670668 Sat, 31 May 2014 16:37:01 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1670668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always said "we're working on it." It was the truth and kind of implied that it was complicated...or we've been working on it for a while..." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1670665 Sat, 31 May 2014 16:32:47 +0000 thisisme 1670665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd usually say "when the time is right" if it was someone I didn't know too well. We told friends and family as they asked about our IF, and it made them aware that they needed to be sensitive about their comments. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1670664 Sat, 31 May 2014 16:32:08 +0000 brownie 1670664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>"When I find $30,000." "I can't afford them" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1670659 Sat, 31 May 2014 16:22:35 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1670659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't be rude.<br /> I usually say "sooner than later. Just not NOW." I think it is a rude question but I just am not rude. I do think if they were persistent and naggy, I'd say something like, "I don't answer questions like that." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1670658 Sat, 31 May 2014 16:20:50 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 1670658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I answer honestly. I tell them we have infertility. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1670657 Sat, 31 May 2014 16:15:38 +0000 Snowdrop 1670657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've started answering, 'when people stop asking' to the first and I would love to say 'we saw how yours turned out and decided against it' for the second. Those questions can be hard :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-respond-to-the-two-big-questions#post-1670655 Sat, 31 May 2014 16:12:13 +0000 babycanuck 1670655@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>"That's none of your business." no matter who it is. </p>