https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 29 Apr 2026 23:03:15 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-split-up-parenting#post-2547277 Thu, 12 May 2016 10:33:40 +0000 nana87 2547277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've had ongoing conversations since moving in together about splitting household responsibilities, and child care as well. My parents are very egalitarian, but mil was a sahm for most of dh's childhood and fil was older/old school about family and gender roles, so our home is "run" very, VERY differently than his was, and though dh is amazing, it's still an ongoing conversation. like, we're about to go out of town for the weekend, and guess who dh assumes will be packing all of lo's things? grrr! that's minor though in the grand scheme of things, and he's very hands on--dh does the cooking, most bed times, half the baths, etc. dh's family has definitely noticed the difference too--fil before he passed away actually told us how proud he was of dh and noted how different of a father he is </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-split-up-parenting#post-2547238 Thu, 12 May 2016 10:19:06 +0000 Meowkers 2547238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we never talked about it but that's because with my husband's personality I knew that we didn't really have to. He's naturally very willing and interested in helping and being part of our team so I never really worried about him not pitching in enough. He's a very hands on dad and has been involved in every aspect of raising DD. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-split-up-parenting#post-2547224 Thu, 12 May 2016 10:14:38 +0000 JenGirl 2547224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, we talked about this quite a bit prior to marriage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-split-up-parenting#post-2547220 Thu, 12 May 2016 10:14:19 +0000 yellowbird 2547220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't really discuss this, but we are 50/50 as we both work. I'm still mostly the default parent but I delegate tasks to him when I'm overwhelmed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-split-up-parenting#post-2547212 Thu, 12 May 2016 10:10:57 +0000 looch 2547212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't talk about it before having children. I don't aspire to have a 50/50 split, for me, that becomes about keeping score and I don't want to play that game.</p> <p>I probably don't even do 50% of the childcare for my son, truth be told. He's with my parents the majority of the day so they do the heavy lifting. If I had to say, it's probably 75% on my parents and 25% on my husband and I. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-split-up-parenting#post-2547156 Thu, 12 May 2016 09:35:00 +0000 gingerbebe 2547156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have always clearly discussed household tasks at every new season or juncture or busy period during our marriage and it's helped to avoid a lot of stress. After 5 years of marriage we finally got a housecleaner and a Roomba which has helped take several tasks off both our plates, with a toddler and new baby coming this weekend.</p> <p>DH has always taken bedtime and getting up first thing in the morning with DS. As DS has gotten older that has meant pretty much the entire period after dinner and bedtime - playing, bath, etc. I usually join for pre-bedtime snuggles but otherwise I'm usually taking that time to clean up after dinner, set up for the next day (coffee, daycare bags, moving laundry, etc.). DH also gets DS in the mornings and gets him changed and dressed while I make breakfast or take 10 minutes to wake up and play with my phone. DH does 60-70% of daycare pick up and drop off. We also tag team parent together on the weekends.</p> <p>I'm not sure how everything will work with the new baby but I'm having a CSection so he will be on toddler duty and probably handle the late evening feeding and early morning feeding and any bottle/pump part washing like with DS1. I will be on newborn duty for the most part. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-split-up-parenting#post-2547134 Thu, 12 May 2016 09:14:59 +0000 youboots 2547134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did not talk about in depth. I worked PT the first summer and DH and I decided I would SAH. He travels at least a week a month. It's just evolved. We are working towards 50/50 nights and weekends now that T is weaned. He has always done bedtime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-split-up-parenting#post-2547124 Thu, 12 May 2016 09:07:20 +0000 ShootingStar 2547124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't really talk about it ahead of time. But we already had the kind of relationship where responsibilities were split. For example, we always had the deal that whoever cooks doesn't have to clean up. </p> <p>Most of the time I think we have a pretty 50/50 split. I'm pregnant and struggling a bit, so DH has definitely taken on more. When the baby's born though, I fully expect for things to be very even, with me taking on the majority of stuff with the baby, leaving DH to deal with the toddler. But to me the biggest key to everything working is we don't keep track or nickel and dime each other. And if something doesn't get done (like dishes) I just let it go. It's not worth getting upset over, and it eventually does get done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-split-up-parenting#post-2547046 Thu, 12 May 2016 08:34:08 +0000 snowjewelz 2547046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not really... We both know that we will both do as much as we can and sometimes one will do more than the other and that's okay. Honestly it's probably him that always takes on more! I never cook, but he will help me clean. We always do bath time together, but I pretty much exclusively do bedtime. He solo parents way more than I do since his schedule is more flexible. But I also take care of all the bills, our finances, scheduling appts, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-split-up-parenting#post-2547028 Thu, 12 May 2016 08:27:49 +0000 Anagram 2547028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't have the conversation before we got married and had kids, but it's still worked out pretty well for us. My husband grew up with a SAHM and working dad, so his mom did all the cooking, cleaning, etc. My mom worked BUT my dad traveled a lot for work (commercial airline pilot), so she still did the majority of the at home stuff and house work was split on more traditional lines--my mom cleaned and cooked, my dad did yard work and maintenance.</p> <p>However, when my dad WAS home, he was known for making us all breakfast, or making special things for dinner.</p> <p>Anyway, my husband and I have made our own parenting split. We live in a condo, so there is no outside work. We split inside house work and parenting tasks very evenly. We both work full time outside the home.</p> <p>The one improvement I wish we could make is having house cleaners, but since we have already "splurged" on a nanny right now, that's not in our budget. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-split-up-parenting#post-2547010 Thu, 12 May 2016 08:23:36 +0000 LuLu Mom 2547010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>before becoming pregnant, DH and I sat down and discussed parenting. His parents had a very "wife does it" parenting style and my parents had a 50/50 parenting relationship. I wanted to make sure he was understanding of that fact I would be working so 50/50 is what I would be expecting. </p> <p>And because of this conversation we usually have a great parenting relationship. He does 50% of the baths, nighttime routines, ect. I do all the cooking but he helps clean it up and clean the girls up when they need it. </p> <p>Did you have a conversation before having kids to address what is expected of each of you? </p>