https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Jul 2026 19:19:09 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1943143 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 13:39:33 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1943143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like most have already stated confidence is instilled and it's already within. I was a friendly, outgoing child that lacked confidence in some of my abilities. Having my parents celebrate my wins and encourage me through my challenges helped me be confident in more aspects of my life. </p> <p>Standing on a stage giving a speech takes as much confidence as crafting a speech you think people want to hear. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942851 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 11:29:32 +0000 loki 1942851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: yes i read a similar article and agree with it 100%!!! praising kids for traits they are born with totally does a disservice to them. my whole life everyone went on and on about how smart i was so i NEVER tried in school. we probably read the same article, we are going to work really hard at doing just what you're doing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942834 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 11:24:53 +0000 mrsjazz 1942834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Confidence can definitely be taught. I was a shy, quiet kid who would cry if I thought someone looked at me the wrong way. Most people would describe me as an extrovert now. What boosted my confidence was participating in sports, teachers who took an interest in my work, and some of my decisions being respected, even though I was a child.</p> <p>At my job I see people transform, from teens to adults women (many of the women are survivors of SD) going from shy and quiet to speaking in front of hundreds of people. I know that as soon as my daughter is old enough I want to put her in some type of group like what we do at my job, where she can openly discuss things that matter to her and have positive peer and adult relationships.</p> <p>@wonderstruck: Yes, that is great advice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942805 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 11:18:07 +0000 Tanjowen 1942805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One of the things we have started doing is praising our LO for figuring things out and trying to avoid phrases about how they were born with a talent or are just naturally that way. It sounds odd to try and explain, but we trying at a young age to make sure we praise him for his endurance and problem solving and give him confidence in those rather than just thinking he was born able to do one thing and not another.</p> <p>This came around after I read an article on what makes the difference between a child giving up on a school subject or sticking to it until they figure it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942782 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 11:09:38 +0000 youboots 1942782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really think it is nature and nurture. I was a confident child and am a confident adult, which caused me problems with my Dad who can be very controlling and want his way. Once I was on my own my confidence grew. I agree with others, I think part of it is letting your child do things on their own. </p> <p>I hate to compare dogs to children, but I will. It's the big dog/little dog thing. When you carry/baby/rescue a little dog they can be timid and aggressive from a distance. (Like at the dog park when the little dog starts the fight and their person comes and scoops them out of harms way) think about a big dog doing the behaviors a small dog does. When we got a smallish dog I did not want to teach her little dog bad habits. So I did a bunch of research... I would ask her to come rather than carry her, taught her that being in my lap/on furniture was a treat, etc. She is an amazing girl because she has the tools to operate on her own without me. It may not be the perfect example, but this is sometimes how I think of helicopter parenting. Give your child the tools from the start to operate successfully without you there, to me key in building confidence in a child (or dog). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942776 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 11:08:31 +0000 Ajsmommy 1942776@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: I love this!! So true!</p> <p>@looch: I think my confidence came from my experiences, although having supportive parents helped I think it truly came from the things I went through and dealt with, I also think that the more experience you have at something the more confident you are, ie: work for example. At first I was more nervous at my job but now that I've done it for over 10 years and excel at it I'm way more confident. </p> <p>@yoursilverlining: I agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942753 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 11:01:43 +0000 yoursilverlining 1942753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think some of it is natural personality, but confidence can definitely be fostered. If growing up you heard you were smart (or other attribute) and know that your parents have your back and support you (including letting/encouraging you to take risks and being supportive if/when you fail), I imagine you would have more confidence in yourself and in taking risks than someone whose parents were less supportive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942741 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 10:57:15 +0000 pinkcupcake 1942741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interesting question! I was always a shy, quiet child growing up. Presentation days were the worst. I Think in my case, it was just my natural personality as my parents were always very encouraging of everything I did. It took a lot of work to become more comfortable in my own skin. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I was also not the most popular kid...I was always really chubby until high school and that did a huge number on my self esteem. It's funny, now I'm a lawyer and no one would ever guess that I was such a shy, scared kid. I'm not sure what I could do to instill confidence in my LO but that's def something I think about ofte </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942724 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 10:52:36 +0000 looch 1942724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you can model confidence, but I am not sure it's something that you can teach. I was always very confident, even as a small child...compared to say, my brother. </p> <p>I also think confidence comes from experience, when I first started out, I was terrified to give presentations in front of large audiences, now I love it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942719 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 10:51:15 +0000 Maysprout 1942719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our daughter is confident at home but less confident when she's at preschool. After our first parent teacher conference where the teacher said our lo really wouldn't talk, I started talking with our daughter more about conversations she can have with her friends and with her teacher and I started walking her to her classroom. The preschool had recommended dropping off kids three and older and letting one of the teachers walk them inside to build independence but she's three and she needs a bit more at this point to enter the classroom confidently. And making that small change has apparently helped a lot. She is still shy but talks to the teacher right away and is excited when one of her friends meet her at the classroom door. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942649 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 10:21:53 +0000 .twist. 1942649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: It's great advice and I totally agree with all of it! Making mistakes is SO important to development. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942636 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 10:14:07 +0000 loki 1942636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: ya the stories of me as a child from even before i remember are insane. i dunno where it came from but i think it benefitted me in a lot of ways. i was telling a story on the weekend about how i didn't like wearing my headgear to bed so i rocked it to my first day of school and every day after. no one EVER made fun of me for me because i was so confident, i just owned it. that is nuts to me now! haha.</p> <p>@wonderstruck: wow love that... and agree with it 100% (as much as a non parent can agree). i really want to try to be this type of parent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942604 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 09:58:01 +0000 wonderstruck 1942604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been reading up on Love &amp; Logic parenting lately, and one thing I liked was the idea of building up your child's confidence by allowing them to make their own decisions whenever possible. Just little stuff like wearing the red shirt or the green one, playing on the slide or the swing first, etc. and if the child makes a mistake, helping them brainstorm how to fix a problem when they make a mistake - like if they color on the wall, asking if they can put the wall in the dishwasher (obviously not, they'll tell you that won't work), or if they should clean it with some towels and cleaning spray, etc. Help them succeed while not making all the decisions for them. And let them make mistakes sometimes if it's not going to cause any real harm, because they'll learn for next time. Basically the theory is that helicopter parents who swoop in and save their kid or tell them what to do all the time can end up with less confident kids, because they haven't been taught to make decisions or deal with problems.</p> <p>My kids aren't old enough to implement most of this, but I thought it was good advice for when the time comes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942603 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 09:57:58 +0000 rachiecakes 1942603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: to this day I still get nervous and shy at times but I force myself through it and am always glad that I did. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942590 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 09:52:07 +0000 Ajsmommy 1942590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Canoli: same here I always want my baby to believe in herself!! I just hope I can help "foster" that for her..</p> <p>@rachiecakes: I think I was similar to you. I was very shy when I was in grade school (my mom stayed home w us too and i think kept us sheltered, for lack of a better word) it took some tough situations for me to outgrow that and once I became confident in myself there was no turning back... My parents always encouraged me but part of me feels that it was my personal experiences that made me confident...?? idk</p> <p>@loki: this is the #1 thing I hope to give DD and any future children too...and I'm impressed with your child version too!! Way to go girl!!! I was the opposite, always hoping the teacher wouldn't call on me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942575 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 09:46:35 +0000 loki 1942575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>wow we were just discussing this last night. i was saying how the #1 thing i want to pass on to our daughter is confidence. i was an insanely confident child and i genuinely think i was just born that way. i was never afraid to ask questions, speak up in class or be myself 100%. i am a bit in awe of the child version of me because looking back it's so impressive. my husband is an introvert and was very shy growing up. it wasn't because of a lack of encouragment or reinforcement, i think it's just his nature. as we've grown up he has become more confident and i've become a bit more self conscience. i can't really answer your question but i wonder if our upbringing affected how our confidence levels changed as we aged. i think a certain amount of confidence needs to be innate thought and i REALLY hope my daughter gets that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942550 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 09:39:40 +0000 rachiecakes 1942550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't follow FB much, but I saw this last night and really love it: <a href="http://www.mobiledia.com/news/199433.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.mobiledia.com/news/199433.html</a></p> <p>I completely agree that you can do something safe and still fail, so why not try something great :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942547 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 09:36:39 +0000 rachiecakes 1942547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mother is very shy. Definitely not the type to pick up a conversation when out and about. She never befriended neighbors or other moms. She never took me to play groups or classes. I didn't go to school until Kindergarten - she was home and I'm sure she saw daycare or preschool as a waste and unnecessary.<br /> When I first got to Kindergarten all the kids knew each other and already had friends. I was really shy and not confident at all. It took me until junior high to really break out of my shell.<br /> I'm not always so confident but I always encourage (myself and) J to try new things, classes, playgroups, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942537 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 09:31:09 +0000 Canoli 1942537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am very curious to hear others responses. I have always struggled with not feeling confident and I am very conscious of this in raising my children. I want them to always believe in themselves and their abilities because I second guess myself way too much and it sucks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942526 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 09:23:58 +0000 blackbird 1942526@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think a good amount of it can be taught and then reinforced via certain situations. i.e. if your mom and dad always telling you what an awesome speshul snowflake you are, then you proceed to kick ass at everything, well, you might end up thinking you're the shit. </p> <p>I think some people who don't believe in themselves have just been knocked down one too many times...repeated experiences like that can really wear on you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-teach-confidence-or-can-you#post-1942522 Thu, 13 Nov 2014 09:20:25 +0000 Ajsmommy 1942522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was in a work situation yesterday and one individual was overly confident verging on "cocky" and another individual was nervous and jittery. There was no reason for either individual to be overly either way but it got me to thinking how did they become that way? Is confidence taught? Or is it something your "born with"?</p> <p>My DH and I are both confident but not overly confident (I guess that could be up for debate :) ) and it breaks my heart when I see or come across people who don't believe in themselves. I hope to instill confidence in my DD but I'm wondering how to do that.... </p> <p>What is your take on confidence? Are you confident or not? If so what, if anything, helped or hindered your confidence?? </p>