https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 30 May 2026 04:46:33 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-tell-someone-with-infertility-issues-that-youre-pregnant#post-2426949 Tue, 19 Jan 2016 00:12:10 +0000 pregnantbee 2426949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: @Periwinkle: Thanks so much. I texted both of them today with a short, sweet message that also indicated that they may feel free to take as long as they need to reply, etc. Both wrote back almost right away and said how happy they are for me. One said that she appreciated the heads-up, so that was good. Phew. Huge weight gone.</p> <p>Thanks for the advice! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-tell-someone-with-infertility-issues-that-youre-pregnant#post-2426750 Mon, 18 Jan 2016 20:42:50 +0000 Periwinkle 2426750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pregnantbee: No matter the words you choose, the fact that you are being sensitive to your friends' struggles will come through via any medium. I think the vehicle for sharing is less important that the fact that you're reaching out and just giving them a heads up about your good news, while also connecting it to your understanding of their difficulties. Simple will suffice and I imagine these friends will put a lot of stock in your telling them privately vs. a mass announcement. I know it's never easy to share your happiness when you know someone is struggling, but acknowledging it may help to ease any awkwardness. Good luck :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-tell-someone-with-infertility-issues-that-youre-pregnant#post-2426389 Mon, 18 Jan 2016 15:50:32 +0000 agold 2426389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pregnantbee: You are sweet to even be worrying about how to tell your friends who are having fertility issues. I think that no matter how you tell your friends, if you show some sort of sensitivity, then your friends will be fine. I dealt with infertility for a while and had to get all the way to IVF+FET before I got pregnant, but fortunately I hadn't lost my ability to share genuine happiness with my friends, who I love, when they got pregnant. If I wanted to go home and privately cry later that day because I felt sorry for myself, then that was my issue - not my pregnant friend. So just share the news with your friends the best way you know how. And good luck! </p> <p>Also - regarding text messages. I never feel the need to respond right away. I often don't even have my phone by me for an entire day. So I would just communicate the way you normally do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-tell-someone-with-infertility-issues-that-youre-pregnant#post-2426376 Mon, 18 Jan 2016 15:44:08 +0000 pregnantbee 2426376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: @M4mi: Thanks, ladies. I usually only text or hang out in person with one of them -- I don't think we have ever exchanged emails. I work with the other. I could text the work colleague, though we haven't really texted that much....not sure I feel comfortable sending this in a work email. Hmmm. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-tell-someone-with-infertility-issues-that-youre-pregnant#post-2426357 Mon, 18 Jan 2016 15:34:46 +0000 M4mi 2426357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To be honest, keeping it simple is probably best. I'm sure she will be happy for you even through her own struggles, just as she would want you to be. If you normally text and don't have plans to see each other soon, I'd send a sweet text simply letting her know you're pregnant, hoping this one sticks around and you hope to talk to her soon.. that way she has the choice of answering right away, or sending a quick reply and then replying or letting her know you're avail to call now or later.. and it gives her room to ask follow up info instead of bombarding her with it.. (my opinion only :) ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-tell-someone-with-infertility-issues-that-youre-pregnant#post-2426058 Mon, 18 Jan 2016 13:42:53 +0000 erinbaderin 2426058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say something along the lines of you wanted to share your good news, that you're pregnant, but that you understand that this can cause mixed feelings given their personal struggles and if they want to take some time to themselves before connecting with you again you understand. Although I might also recommend sending an email - a text is so immediate people might feel compelled to respond right away even though they'd like a little bit of time, whereas with an email you can put it aside for a few hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-tell-someone-with-infertility-issues-that-youre-pregnant#post-2425972 Mon, 18 Jan 2016 12:52:37 +0000 pregnantbee 2425972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Redirecting this thread because I'm looking for words to write in a simple text to share my pregnancy news with a couple people dealing with loss and infertility. Suggestions? Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-tell-someone-with-infertility-issues-that-youre-pregnant#post-2389858 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 20:43:46 +0000 GoGoSnoGirl 2389858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Even if awkward, I'm a fan of in person personal conversations. If you're already having in person conversations about your collective fertility struggles, I think it might come across weird to NOT have this one in person. When I shared my news with a friend struggling with infertility I did so in a private personal conversation. I let her know I was thinking about her upcoming fertility treatments &amp; hoping &amp; praying for their success, and then I told her I wanted her to know ahead of others that I was pregnant but nervous about it b/c we had had a loss. I felt like this let her know I was thinking about her, but also in a tender &amp; vulnerable place, myself. Our conversation wasn't very long, but I think it went as well as could be expected. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-tell-someone-with-infertility-issues-that-youre-pregnant#post-2389735 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 18:09:40 +0000 Nutella 2389735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Text or email - ESP if that's how you normally roll. If it were me on the other end, I would appreciate the time to process. And it would be nice to know before rather than finding out after all the other friends! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-tell-someone-with-infertility-issues-that-youre-pregnant#post-2389725 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 18:02:04 +0000 Zbug 2389725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely text or email.<br /> A friend recently told me she was pregnant in person. She did it privately rather than with our group of friends, but I still had to hang out with her for another hour trying not to cry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-tell-someone-with-infertility-issues-that-youre-pregnant#post-2389712 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 17:42:04 +0000 winter_wonder 2389712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely recommend anything other than in person. That way she has time to process her emotions privately. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-tell-someone-with-infertility-issues-that-youre-pregnant#post-2388330 Mon, 14 Dec 2015 19:42:04 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2388330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think sending a long text is fine. I would tell before you tell regular in person friends but not feel obligated to tell her super sokn </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-tell-someone-with-infertility-issues-that-youre-pregnant#post-2388325 Mon, 14 Dec 2015 19:39:05 +0000 erinbaderin 2388325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would text over telling her in person, to give her a chance to be sad if she needs to be before she can be happy for you. I think whether you wait until 12 weeks is up to you - personally, when I was going through fertility problems, I never felt betrayed if somebody waited to tell me because I thought I'd want to wait until 12 weeks if it happened for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-tell-someone-with-infertility-issues-that-youre-pregnant#post-2388279 Mon, 14 Dec 2015 18:08:58 +0000 struggleisreal 2388279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, you may know by now that I have a 3 yo and am newly pregnant (7w) with my 2nd. It has taken a year to get pregnant with #2, and I've had 2 losses. My friend/neighbor down the street has 2 kids and has also recently struggled through 2 miscarriages (IVF and natural). (ETA: She knows about my struggle over the last year.)</p> <p>I've shared about my pregnancy with online friends -- nobody in person. I read here that it would probably be best for me to email her (there was even a great template I could use). However, we generally only text or see each other in person.</p> <p>I helped her through her most recent loss by bringing her ice cream and even sitting for her kids while she went for a D&amp;C, and I didn't realize I was probably pregnant already at that time. I've seen her several times since I found out about myself, and I feel pretty awkward not sharing, though normally I wouldn't tell in-person friends until 12w.</p> <p>What do you think I should do here? I'm still very nervous that my own won't stick, but I also feel like I maybe shouldn't wait until 12w to tell her. If I were to wait that long, I'd tell her well before other local friends.</p> <p>Thoughts? </p>