https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 15 Aug 2026 13:16:19 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-dodid-you-handle-it#post-2173855 Mon, 11 May 2015 07:53:11 +0000 catomd00 2173855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had those feelings all.the.time when pregnant and even in the first few weeks postpartum. I cannot even describe how much better life is with our daughter in it! I can't imagine how life used to be without her. The first months are tough but it gets easier to feel like you and your husband still have some of your old life left as they get older. This coming from someone who wasn't even sure she ever wanted kids! Now I want like 10 (if only we could afford that many!!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-dodid-you-handle-it#post-2173734 Sun, 10 May 2015 22:37:32 +0000 SupernovaJ 2173734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>aww. i feel ya. i started getting very emotional in the third trimester whenever i thought about the next HUGE chapter of our lives looming in the near distance. i regularly thought: "omg, what have i DONE??!" and felt a strong urge to just...run away. i also truly got so sad at the thought of it no longer being just me and my husband. to help ease those thoughts, we really just enjoyed every minute of our free time together. spontaneous trips and outings to restaurants or even target late at night (bc you can never do that together once baby arrives...), and we made sure to go on a babymoon, or small weekend road trips. the more i felt we were enjoying each other those last remaining weeks, the better i felt. i really went through a "mourning the end of us" phase. those times were the absolute BEST times of our relationship and even now, i look back on that special time fondly.</p> <p>and then... the baby arrives. and you can't ever imagine life without them! it's so cliche but true. totally normal to feel overwhelmed now though, it will pass! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-dodid-you-handle-it#post-2173552 Sun, 10 May 2015 17:33:00 +0000 PawPrints 2173552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It helped me a lot to talk to people about it and laugh with them about how crazy I felt. Sometimes just having someone who will listen to you say "WTF are we doing??" can help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-dodid-you-handle-it#post-2173429 Sun, 10 May 2015 13:07:03 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2173429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had that a lot after birth with ppd and what not...just a bit before birth. So it's probably good that you're going in eyes wide open so to speak. All I can say is there are ups and downs, like with marriage, but your lo becomes so much a part of your life you wouldn't know what to do without them... Or at least that's how I feel. Being a mom is amazing. Stick out the tough parts and the highs will be worth it! </p> <p>Happy Mother's Day! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-dodid-you-handle-it#post-2173426 Sun, 10 May 2015 13:04:16 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2173426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't feel that way toouch with LO1 but WITH LO2 I thought that many many times and even during her first week here I told DH I was worried that we made a mistake. Shes 2 weeks and 2 days old now and I definitely don't think we made a mistake and I'm really starting to adore her more everyday. So basically I just had to suck it up and it went away lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-dodid-you-handle-it#post-2173373 Sun, 10 May 2015 10:59:30 +0000 gentlelunette 2173373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't have these feelings too much during pregnancy, but I had them a lot post partum (and still sometimes do 7 weeks out) I'm glad to hear others say the same. Apparently it's normal! </p> <p>The first few weeks home were such an upheaval that I cried and cried to my husband asking him where the rewind button was. Or at the very least, pause so that I could get one decent nights sleep. A few days ago, I told him to point me to the nearest baby store because I wanted to make a return! I feel so guilty that I have these feelings, but deep down, when I separate myself from the emotion of the situation I know that I wouldn't change this for the world. The good moments are just soooo good (seeing her grow, having her smile at me, smelling her sweet baby smell as she sleeps on my chest) that it makes the hard moments so much more bearable. </p> <p>Life WILL change, but it will change in the most amazing ways. You'll be an amazing mother (even if you want to rewind time sometimes!). So just acknowledge your feelings and know that they're totally normal! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-dodid-you-handle-it#post-2173361 Sun, 10 May 2015 10:42:55 +0000 Keybee 2173361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That happens to me often. I am terrified. Pregnancy is so much harder then I thought it would be, and I feel like being a mom will be impossibly hard.<br /> I cry in the shower once a week or so. I just have little melt downs and then I feel better.<br /> I also try to listen when people talk about how much they love being a mom and that gives me hope that I'll like it too., </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-dodid-you-handle-it#post-2173352 Sun, 10 May 2015 10:13:14 +0000 jedeve 2173352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm glad everyone else is saying you have those thoughts after birth more! (Okay, I'm not glad for you, Torchwood, cause I'm sure that's not what you want to hear.) </p> <p>Here is the thing with parenthood - you go through all the highs and all the lows, and they don't cancel each other out. There might be more highs than lows, but you still live it all. And it's totally fine to think "this is the best worst thing!" </p> <p>I have this (probably not well formed theory), that since in recent times we have evolved a lot as a society (a good thing!) and come to view parenthood as a choice, not an obligation, we feel guilty more. Like, "well this was my idea, shouldn't I love it?" Sometimes it seems like it would be more okay to worry/dread/freak out/mourn if motherhood was just something you had to do. I don't know if that made sense. </p> <p>Yes it's your choice and something you want. That doesn't mean you have to feel awesome about it all the time. It's still this huge, selfless thing to bring a life into the world. </p> <p>I've told my husband a million times that I feel so guilty that motherhood was harder than I thought it would be. I talk to friends who are all "don't you love it???" It's good to remember no one else is living your exact life. I know there are soooo many people out there with much harder lives than me. But we've had to deal with a rough pregnancy/labor, nut and dairy allergies, a surprise baby, two extremely active kids 17mo apart, a preemie, torticollis and PT. None of those things are huge, I admit. But it's okay to recognize no one really knows what you are going through 100%. So when my friend with one kid is telling me how enjoyable toddlerhood is, and I start to feel guilty for finding parts of it tough, I remember "she has a different kid/family:situation and her experience is not my experience." This especially helps with moms/MiLs who apparently never ever had children who misbehaved. </p> <p>The other thing I do is step back from the Internet for a few days. Especially articles that are like "why parents are causing food allergies in their children" and "ten parenting mistakes you are making" and threads where everyone has a perfect division of labor/never feels any conflict between their identity and work status/never has money troubles, etc. </p> <p>If you weren't worried at all, I would be worried for you! Your concern just shows you realize this is a big undertaking and that's a good thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-dodid-you-handle-it#post-2173329 Sun, 10 May 2015 09:31:43 +0000 coopsmama 2173329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: Yes yes! And I think sometimes it's just tough because life with kids is so daily! It's rare to get a break for more than a few hours and so it's super easy to get caught up in the mundane without realizing just how lucky we are to have them. I love what you said about our children giving us a greater meaning and purpose. It's so true - but now and again I have to admit I do miss sleeping in and binge watching Netflix. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-dodid-you-handle-it#post-2173286 Sun, 10 May 2015 08:15:22 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2173286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At the same time when I long for the days of sleeping in etc, I also cannot imagine the last four years without the love and laughter that our children have brought us. I cannot imagine four years of sleeping in watching tv and waiting my life away. Every day with my kids has a purpose and a meaning to help them grow. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-dodid-you-handle-it#post-2173259 Sun, 10 May 2015 07:02:34 +0000 Cole 2173259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>While I was pregnant and had those thoughts I tried to picture all the fun things we would do one day like baking cookies and going to Disney world. I also spent a lot of time curating my village, I wanted to know I had people around who would grab toilet paper or hold the baby etc. Having a mental plan for the days where everything sucked really helped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-dodid-you-handle-it#post-2173256 Sun, 10 May 2015 06:56:21 +0000 SweetiePie 2173256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: @coopsmama: @T.H.O.U.: Yup! I didn't have the "what was I thinking?!?" Thoughts before he was born, but after, for a long time, I thought on a daily basis "my life was amazing before, why did we have a baby?!?" I don't know if it was PPD or normal, or if mine was worse from PPD, but I've definitely spoken to more moms that have felt that way than not. </p> <p>@torchwood: you most likely will have those thoughts even after birth. But I just held him and looked at him and reminded myself what a miracle he was. AND that it would get better. Every mom told me "it gets better". And it truly truly does. The beginning sucks more than its awesome (in my opinion) so it's easy to get into a "what was I thinking?!" Mindset. But before you know it it's amazing way more than it sucks and it is so so so worth it. I still reminisce about how easy or life was before but would never trade him for it. </p> <p>You'll be a good mom, don't worry :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-dodid-you-handle-it#post-2173225 Sun, 10 May 2015 04:05:36 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2173225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@coopsmama: yup! My husband asked yesterday if I could google how to go back in time. I told him he was crazy and we coul give them away. He clarified that he wouldn't ever give them away but just wanted a do over </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-dodid-you-handle-it#post-2173196 Sat, 09 May 2015 23:26:27 +0000 coopsmama 2173196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a mom to two children who I deeply love and I STILL have those thoughts. Rest assured it's perfectly normal. :heart: </p> <p>I've found that on the days when I'm completely worn out and wonder what the heck we were thinking to have these kids I like to tell my children that I am thankful for them. Because I am. So it sounds cheesy, but I like to say (aloud) every few days while hugging or snuggling each kid, "I'm so thankful for you." Because in my heart of hearts, even on the worst days - I truly am. I've found it's really hard to feel angsty about being a mama when I take time to recognize how much I'm thankful for these kids and their impact on my life. So that's one thing I do. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-dodid-you-handle-it#post-2173187 Sat, 09 May 2015 23:03:01 +0000 Foodnerd81 2173187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I reminded myself that it's too late now and we can handle it. </p> <p>Full disclosure, I had those thoughts a lot more after she was born. I felt really bad about it. Then I found out every new mom thinks that at some point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-dodid-you-handle-it#post-2173172 Sat, 09 May 2015 22:31:23 +0000 FliegepilzHut 2173172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not too much freaking out...but thinking "how are we going to make this work?!" I just try to take a deep breath and keep the faith...</p> <p>BTW-- I'm sure you're going to be an amazing mom! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-dodid-you-handle-it#post-2173168 Sat, 09 May 2015 22:15:17 +0000 Torchwood 2173168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I keep having (very normal, I think) little freak outs along the lines of, "what the hell were we thinking, I love our life, I'm going to be a terrible mom, etc" Obviously I'm very, VERY happy to finally be having a healthy baby, and I don't really think I'm going to be a terrible mom, and our life together will just be that much better with our daughter. But what did/do you do when you have those thoughts? I'm just curious how other people handle it/what they tell themselves. :) </p>