https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 21 May 2026 08:01:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2646184 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 11:36:37 +0000 AB810 2646184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first was a terrible terrible sleeper. She still wakes up a couple times a week at three. Originally I wanted my children three years apart but after her first year we decided to try for two years apart. I knew I couldn't start sleeping again and then go back to not and I definitely wanted more than one child. My second is a much better sleeper but it has still been very hard. I used to want four kids and now I'm done at two. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2646162 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 11:01:02 +0000 GoGoSnoGirl 2646162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lilyofthewest: I can SO sympathize with you &amp; other posters! My LO is 17mos &amp; doesn't typically sttn. She generally wakes 1x per night, but sometimes twice &amp; it has been taking a LOT to get her down for naps &amp; at night. It's so exhausting &amp; frustrating. :bummed: I thought sure I wanted 2, but I'm over 40 &amp; felt like we'd have to get pg before LO turns 2 or it just won't happen or I'll finally feel too old, but I'm really struggling with the decision to ttc. I'm sure people just find LO 2+ is just the new normal, but I have a hard time imagining how we'll do it. DH works long stressful hours &amp; though I SAH, I sure don't feel like I've gotten into a good groove where I can handle more. We may well end up 1 &amp; done after all. :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2646132 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 10:31:38 +0000 cascademom 2646132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had a colicky first baby who slept through the night with sleep training at 6 months old. We considered a second kid by the time he turned 2. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2646096 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 09:47:37 +0000 avivoca 2646096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had an oops. My daughter was sleeping through the night, but we were going to wait until after my big race to start trying and hopefully end up with a spring/summer baby and only two years of double daycare. Two weeks later, two pink lines showed up and now I have a three week old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2646087 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 09:28:20 +0000 FaithFertility 2646087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skipra: I posted almost the same! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2646085 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 09:25:01 +0000 KayKay 2646085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you either have a good sleeper, you have an oops, or you just go for it :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2646055 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 08:54:06 +0000 skipra 2646055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids didn't STTN either. With the pregnancy exhaustion, we just gave up on getting them back to sleep in the crib and took them into our bed. That really reduced the wake ups to one per night and DH would bring him into bed so I never had to get up or really even wake up. My oldest got so annoyed with the baby waking him up that he started to STTN in his room within a week or so of the baby's birth. My second started STTN while I was pregnant with #3. He is now waking up at least once per night, so even if your kid does STTN regularly, there is no guarantee that the baby's arrival will not change things! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2646043 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 08:48:56 +0000 mediagirl 2646043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lilyofthewest: yeah, I have a 4 year old, am turning 39 this year and just gave up. I recognized I'm old and I'm never going to have the energy I had at 35 again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2646038 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 08:44:10 +0000 FaithFertility 2646038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD was STN at 14 months when I pg with #2<br /> around 18 months she would wake and not go back down<br /> being 3-4 months I was exhausted and we would just put her in our bed...well that turned into a nightly thing, that we are still working on 6 months later!</p> <p>There will always be something I feel so go when it seems right in your heart :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2646033 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 08:40:38 +0000 catlady 2646033@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't even think about it until LO1 slept through the night (around 1 year). And then, I wanted 6-12 months of all of us getting good sleep before we started trying again. My 2 will end up being a little over 3 years apart. I can't imagine trying while going through what you are dealing with! </p> <p>The one "benefit" of having been through it already is that my pregnancy insomnia and poor sleep doesn't really bother me (I remember being so grouchy all the time with my first pregnancy). I already know how much worse it's going to get so I'm "enjoying" my broken up pregnancy sleep while I have it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2646032 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 08:39:51 +0000 sapphire 2646032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you have to wait until it feels right...now way I would have TTCed #2 if LO didn't sleep through the night! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2646003 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 07:58:59 +0000 MrsKoala 2646003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't even think about until DS slept through the night at just past a year old. He also had terrible reflux but something just clicked when we night weaned him (sent daddy in for comfort instead of mommy) and he did it. Once we are at least 6 months past it, I felt like I was ready. Our second wasn't exactly planned though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2645961 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 06:50:44 +0000 dc yoga bee 2645961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lilyofthewest: yes yes yes to all of this! Not only was LO hard to conceive, and took a trip to the RE with invasive testing, and luckily got pregnant before we started treatment, she had terrible colic and acid reflux. She nursed through the night until 13 months, and is a wild handful (in a good way of course!) Knowing I have pcos, and ovulation issues means I don't want to wait until she's 3 to start trying. It's kind of like it is what it is. I sympathize with you however! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2645958 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 06:37:17 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2645958@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I keep telling people LO's demeanor makes it very easy to want to give him a sibling. Intermittent sleep was hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2645951 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 06:19:47 +0000 Adira 2645951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sleep is key! Both mine were good sleepers, so we were lucky.</p> <p>At 18m though, that kind of broken sleep can't be good for your LO. It might be time to sleep train? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2645947 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 06:00:14 +0000 lamariniere 2645947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's hard. My first didn't STTN until just after 12 months. We ended up with a 3 year gap (and another non sleeper). We have no plans to have more kids! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2645940 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 05:48:48 +0000 ValentineMommy 2645940@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had early STTN-ers. Otherwise, it would have never happened. I love sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2645932 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 05:10:25 +0000 catomd00 2645932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were ready once one felt like it was getting easy. She was STTN most of the time and we felt we had a semblance of our old life back (eg could make time easily for sex or watching Netflix, going on dates, etc.) two is more work obviously, but the transition has been way easier and the sleep deprivation hasn't felt that difficult. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2645895 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 21:27:03 +0000 ShootingStar 2645895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO1 Stopped waking up around 9 months. At one we felt like we could see having a second, but didn't pull the trigger until he was 2. Then it happened on the first try, even though I was 37. </p> <p>Now I have a 2.5 month old unicorn sleeper. IDK if this will last past the 4m regression, but she's always slept long stretches at night and currently sleeps 9pm-6/7am. I thought for sure she'd be waking up every two hours for months like DS and I'm not sure she's ever done that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2645889 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 20:44:56 +0000 Periwinkle 2645889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is why we waited as long as we did! LO1 did not really sleep more than a few hours at a time until he was about 2... he had wakeups every hour to few hours for all of his first 18 months and I was a zombie. It was only when he turned 3 and we were about a year out from the super fog of sleep deprivation that we only started thinking about a second baby. I am 36 so I was also cognizant of the timing. I think our memory plays games with us because it's like I blocked all of the sleep deprivation out! I got pregnant when LO1 was a few months over 3 and when pregnancy insomnia struck this past summer, I remembered how hard those sleepless nights had been. </p> <p>LO2 is here now (5 weeks old) and we are surviving so far, but those memories of sleep deprivation are becoming clearer again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2645887 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 20:39:24 +0000 Anagram 2645887@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a terrible sleeper in LO1, too. My husband was very eager to have another baby though, and I am a very bad (sick) preggo, so he took all LO1s wakeups while I was pregnant. Well, like 90%.</p> <p>Luckily, the 2nd was a better sleeper. Although she didn't sttn until almost 1 year old, she had only 1 wakeup a night from 4-11 months. And that was a vast improvement over LO1.</p> <p>Last night, LO1 woke up 3 times. She's 3. =( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2645884 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 20:29:24 +0000 Foodnerd81 2645884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>By accident?? </p> <p>Once I was pregnant with our second and even more exhausted, my husband took almost all night waking from the toddler (she was 2.5 when baby sister was born). He still takes her if she wakes up at night since I get up with the baby just about every night. </p> <p>I won't lie- I'm still struggling and the baby is 10 months old. And I wonder how anyone ever has three! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2645875 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 20:02:10 +0000 tequiero21 2645875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When it gets bad, I sleep train them again lol. My third was such a bad sleeper I never would have guessed I'd want a fourth! Baby years aren't long at all if you think long term. Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2645857 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 18:52:38 +0000 lilyofthewest 2645857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: yeah, solidarity. LO took 8 mos to conceive with sex and/or insemination at least 3x during each fertile window. And then colic reflux no sleep baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2645856 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 18:49:04 +0000 lilyofthewest 2645856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@codeitall: hah. I wish it were a regression. It has never been better than this save a few random nights he was only up twice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2645854 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 18:38:26 +0000 MrsADS 2645854@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lilyofthewest I feel the same way and it makes me sad :sad: My son is 14 months, not a good sleeper. I am exhausted and just so overwhelmed every day, so behind at work, house a wreck, etc. I love him but I'm just so tired. He was an incredibly difficult baby with horrific reflux, colic, mspi, etc. which is still an ongoing struggle. I truly don't know how I'd handle a baby with those issue and an older child too.</p> <p>My husband is 42 so I feel you on the clock thing. We had infertility and took us almost a year to have LO. I don't feel like we have time to wait til he's 3 and start TTC which may take a year :bummed: so I don't know what we're gonna do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2645851 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 18:25:58 +0000 Smurfette 2645851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We weren't ready till she was 3 to TTC. She was STTN since 6 months. You will get there in time. There isn't a hurry. I got pregnant at 37 the first month. Don't worry too much about your age! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2645847 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 18:18:26 +0000 runnerd 2645847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a 2 year old that still wakes most nights, and a 4 month old that sleeps 10 hour stretches most nights. We are very fortunate that #2 is giving us a break while we still await the day that #1 sleeps through the night more often than not. That said, we went with the theory that let's get all this rough stuff out of the way now, and then we will be done with it all sooner instead of spreading it out. I'm so used to not sleeping at this point that it isn't really an issue anymore - DH on the other hand... I take on most of the night waking because he is grumpier than the kids when he has to get up more than once. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2645842 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 18:06:47 +0000 Pumpkin Pie 2645842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely would not have been able to even think about #2 until LO1 was sleeping consistently through the night. </p> <p>We started sleep training pretty early on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-does-anyone-have-a-2nd-kid#post-2645831 Mon, 31 Oct 2016 17:07:01 +0000 codeitall 2645831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I told myself that I wouldn't think about another babe until I'd slept full nights for a year.... and then I threw it out the window when DS was 18 mo :silly: . My mother told me that I didn't sleep through the night till my younger brother did (and he is 3 years younger than me) and I decided that I didn't really want to wait that long to have #2.</p> <p>I'm sure that I'll have a very rough newborn time with a toddler who is still waking up once a night, but I'm hoping that having that deadline helps me really focus on getting DS to sleep as he should. I've got 20 weeks left haha :)</p> <p>Also, it sounds like you're going through a sleep regression like we did a couple months ago. It will get better! </p>