https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 03 May 2026 07:14:17 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled/page/2#post-2657148 Fri, 25 Nov 2016 12:03:04 +0000 jedeve 2657148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My childhood was perfect. We've always been financially lucky and I've had loving parents. </p> <p>The biggest thing I've dealt with was two months after I got married I was diagnosed with interstitial cystitis, endometriosis, vulvodynia, and pelvic floor disorder. Sex was painful, which sucks when you are just married. I was on a severely restricted diet, and just was in a lot of pain most of the time. There isn't really a cure/treatment for most of those. I was pretty depressed. It was not how I wanted my life to go - I was a big cook, had always wanted to travel and now things were very different. But mainly it was just being in that much pain all of the time. </p> <p>That's been the biggest struggle of my life. There have been other smaller things - I was nerdy and got bullied growing up and didn't have many friends, my nana lived with us and had severe dementia and my mom leaned on me for support a bit too much when I was just a teenager, my uncle later lived with us while he was dying of throat cancer. I had a bout of depression in college, and also was in an unhealthy relationship for four years. I loved running but hurt my ankle really badly and had to stop permanently. We struggled financially for a bit after grad school. I had PPD after my first and then a surprise pregnancy 9 mo later. Which now I welcome, but it did mean I had to quit my job because I couldn't afford childcare and I was pretty depressed during the pregnancy. I had a miscarriage a few months ago. That's all little stuff in the big picture though, I know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled/page/2#post-2657065 Thu, 24 Nov 2016 21:44:09 +0000 JennyD 2657065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like I've worked really hard to overcome my issues from my childhood and not repeat my parents' mistakes. In short, my father was mentally and emotionally and financially abusive. My mom loved us and did her best for us but she's a victim. </p> <p>At a very young age I can remember thinking that I'd better go to school and get a job so when I have to leave my husband, I'll be able to afford to. It's all made me very resilient and hardworking. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled/page/2#post-2656944 Thu, 24 Nov 2016 06:56:54 +0000 Theyoungboywalking 2656944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know this post is old and all but I'all just leave my comment anyway.</p> <p>Life has put a lot of weight on me aswell, my Father was very abusive and kept me inside in the house most of my life, I did go to school but wasn't really allowed to go out more than that.<br /> He hit me almost everyday, and for the dumbest reasons, It was really bad, so at the age of 14 I ran away, and I got help from the community which is my small "state" here where I live in Europe.<br /> They let me live in a home with some nice people and other teens that lived there for their different reasons, and they let me go to school and live normally, but during the first week shit went south just like I expected, my father came after me plenty of times, and since I lived only 20 minutes away from him it wasn't too hard, I lived in that place for 9 months and it was constant fear of being caught by my father, and I saw him many times waiting and looking for me.<br /> So the community moved me about 1 hour away but it was in foster care, something I never wanted because I never felt like I fitted in, I always felt alone and told myself I never needed a family because the way the old one treated me, no-body in my family stood up for me neither, so I ran away from the foster care a month in, but I was never a bad kid so if the community called I would answer and talk, I was very grown up for a 15 year old, so they moved me again, and I ended up on the other side of my VERY small country, and I have been living here for 3 years, working hard, failing school twice, but this time I am very good at school, I mean I have been there everyday and do every home work and assignments, so I will not fail this time.</p> <p>Anyway, the community left me after I got 18, turns out I was making them plenty money when I was a minor but not now so they have no need for me, and shit was corrupt and I got tossed on the sidewalk, now I work hard at a fast food chain and I'm really depressed, I plan on starting a little Illegal business (don't worry, I''t won't hurt anyone in anyway) and save up money because I'' really struggling out here, and I can never move back home because I fear for my life (there is more to my father and his friends than I have told here).<br /> I often dream about finishing school, getting a good job outside my own country, just starting a new life.<br /> I plan on making that dream come true, and right now my problems are financial, and I can't afford to drop out of school again therefore I am doing this business to only save my self and no reason over that, I will grow and sell marijuana, but quit straight after I save some money, I'' not doing it for the new pair of yezzys you know.</p> <p>I wish you all the best, thank you for reading my small depressing life story.</p> <p>Edit: this is a very very undetailed story, there is a lot more to everything here, so if there is anything you wish to know about, just ask, I have never really talked about this to anyone, and it's pretty refreshing to do, so if there aka anything you wish to know, just ask :). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled/page/2#post-1905508 Fri, 17 Oct 2014 15:26:51 +0000 Kimberlybee 1905508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never saw this thread the first time around, life is so unfair! I hope you all find peace, love, and joy and that the heartaches of the past become a distant memory. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled/page/2#post-1905502 Fri, 17 Oct 2014 15:22:34 +0000 Kimberlybee 1905502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: Sending you warm thoughts, virtual hugs, and love. I am so sorry about your dad's passing and have thought of you many times in recent weeks. I hope you find healing and your happy place again no matter how long it takes. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled/page/2#post-1905477 Fri, 17 Oct 2014 15:08:05 +0000 MapleMoose 1905477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: I admire your positive outlook on life and I'm sending big hugs :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled/page/2#post-1905297 Fri, 17 Oct 2014 13:16:19 +0000 BSB 1905297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: Oh, wow. I'm so so sorry. Sending lots of hugs your way. I'm glad you are going to counseling to talk about it. Please let us know if you want to talk about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled/page/2#post-1905292 Fri, 17 Oct 2014 13:11:48 +0000 FliegepilzHut 1905292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: I'm sorry things have been so rough...and glad you're in a better place now and not afraid to ask for help! Sending ((hugs))! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-1905267 Fri, 17 Oct 2014 12:57:05 +0000 LovelyPlum 1905267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: oh lady :bummed: Sending you strength, grace, and lots of :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-1905249 Fri, 17 Oct 2014 12:45:36 +0000 cmomma17 1905249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: big (((HUGS))) :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-1905229 Fri, 17 Oct 2014 12:37:16 +0000 Greentea 1905229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: thanks for this thread. I am reviving it because I could really use some venting :)</p> <p>I have had a challenging life. My mum had an affair when I was 6 and took us from my dad overnight. I had no idea what was going on. All of a sudden she was married to someone else and he and she were really abusive. We left a life surrounded by family and good things and were moved across the state. My dad got really depressed. My mom ignored me and she and her new husband did drugs and had sex while I wandered around the neighborhood. I remember crying at school and the teacher made me stand in front of everyone and called me a crybaby. My mom shook me at home and told me I needed to stop crying because "they think something is wrong." I now assume she was worried about people at school suspecting domestic violence (which was prevalent)- at the time however, she made it sound as though "they" (the people at school?) thought something was wrong with me- when really my crying was totally natural. She told me things like, "if I had god in my heart I wouldn't cry."<br /> When my stepdad committed suicide mum immediately married again and had a baby. They built a house without a room for me in the backyard and made me watch the baby. Super weird. I think perhaps the hardest part has been dealing with my mom's emotional abuse.<br /> Mum followed me out west so I moved back to my home state. My dad, who lived nearby in my home state just committed suicide.<br /> Anyhow, DH and I are doing the best we can- I am going to go to counseling and graduate school and he is taking prereqs for dental. LO is awesome and is doing awesome so I am happy and proud about that. In some ways I feel grateful for being challenged- I do believe what doesn't kill you makes you strong. I have done a lot despite everything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-936455 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 16:45:09 +0000 BSB 936455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow! Thank you everyone for sharing. I just skimmed through the responses but I'll be back to read into everyone's answers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-935065 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 09:40:23 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 935065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <br /><p><i>This comment has been deleted by the original poster.</i></p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-934959 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 09:15:26 +0000 mrsjazz 934959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: This is a great thread. I agree with Mrs. Jacks that I feel like I've gotten to "know" some of you even more through this thread. </p> <p>@sera_87: I'm glad you're clean and safe and have the outlook that it wasn't too bad all things considered. That's a great outlook to have.</p> <p>@zippylef: I've heard that from another friend about being the only white girl in a minority neighborhood--sometimes it's hard being the only of any race and people forget that!</p> <p>I have definitely had struggles in my life. They all made me the strong, confident person I am today, although I could've done without a couple of them!</p> <p>My mom was a teenager when she had me, and then had my sister the next year. Her and my dad had been forced to get married since they were so young but he left us when my sister &amp; I were little. I didn't really know we were poor until I started being bussed out of my neighborhood for school. A lot of families in my neighborhood were on welfare, so it was normal for me. I grew up thinking it was okay that we were friendly with the neighborhood pimp and his prostitutes. I grew up thinking it was okay that crackheads asked me for quarters.</p> <p>I was sexually molested for about a year by a neighborhood boy. He was a friend I was supposed to be tutoring. We were all latchkey kids so there was no one home watching us. I used to think it was my fault because he was younger than I was. But he was stronger. He told all the boys in our neighborhood that I was his girlfriend. For a while my after school looked like this: get home and lay there while he touched me all over but fight like hell once he tried to have intercourse with me. That was fun. I never told anyone until I was an adult.</p> <p>In college I got into a car accident that left me with facial scarring. I pretty much thought my life was over and was seriously depressed and almost flunked out of school. Luckily I started talking to a counselor and got my shit together but I still had low self-esteem. After I moved back home I thought the only way for guys to like me was to sleep with them. Crazy times.</p> <p>Writing saved me from my depression and dangerous behavior. Also talking to my family and friends and telling them about my feelings. Writing this down it doesn't even seem like it was that bad, but at the time my life felt horrible. My life is pretty awesome now :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-934920 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 09:01:33 +0000 Lindsay05 934920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, thanks everyone for opening up. It takes a lot to be able to share some of these stories :)</p> <p>My childhood was ok. My parents divorced and my mom left with my dads brother when I was 3. She has always been apart of my life but she missed a lot of important events. I grew up with my dad and my brother. We were quite low income but I always had everything I needed. The hardest part was being a teenager and not having my mom close by. Because of that, I dressed like a boy and basically acted like one. I still get a little angry with my mom about it because I really had to learn everything about becoming a woman on my own. I try to look ack and see how it has benefited me. I also never had any help with university, buying a vehicle or anything like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-934910 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 08:58:04 +0000 spaniellove 934910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes and no...</p> <p>My parents got divorced when I was a baby and I grew up being told my mom abandoned me (which wasn't true), mostly by my stepmother who beat me and threatened to kill me as well as herself. She used to tell me that if I told anyone what she was doing I would be responsible for breaking up our family. I was also diagnosed with Aspergers as a child and still struggle with it as well as other neuro issues like epilepsy.</p> <p>My stepmom has managed to cut me off from my entire family so I basically have no family support, and a few years ago I got a call out of the blue from the State Department that my mom had been visiting Korea and died. Being so alone and having never had a mother makes going through infertility much worse, because I feel like I can't have the two things everyone has - a mother and a child. </p> <p>But I realize that despite all those things there are people who struggle more on a day to day basis and I could be much more miserable. Despite it all I'm pretty happy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-934842 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 08:39:11 +0000 FarmWifeGina 934842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hard enough, but not forced-to-be-a-child-soldier hard. I was an isolated homeschooler for all if my childhood, even moreso during my teens. I had 2 friends, sisters, that I saw maybe once a month and my folks got huffy if we talked on the phone more often than once every 2 weeks. I stayed home and worked, was the second mother to the younger of my 9 siblings, did a lot of backbreaking work for very little pay on the farm. I was one of the kids, there was very little individuality. We had food and a roof over our heads, but no privacy, no individual needs, no individual friends, etc.<br /> Of course, my dad was abusive in every way a person can be abusive- mentally, verbally, physically, sexually, spiritually. My mom was a victim as well, but she and their religion totally enabled him.<br /> I "ran away" when I was 17 to live with my grandparents in another state and it was only the beginning of my healing. I was blessed to meet my sweet husband shortly thereafter and we started dating when I was 18, were married when I was 19, and had our first kid when I was 20. Yeah, probably not the most recommended course of action for a kid with that kind of history, but I don't regret it; I wouldn't be the person I am today without having made those decisions. And that was the way I was raised to do things (marry young, pop out the babies) and I was desperately looking to establish some normalcy in my life, but I wouldn't have realized how much healing I have to do without having had my kids. I'm 25 now and I'm miles ahead of where I once was. I've gotten help for my issues. I didn't realize just how depressed I'd been for YEARS, definitely since my early teens, until suddenly I wasn't anymore after a big dietary change. Now my life is pretty good and expect it to get better. Even though I had NO skills for finding a good life partner, I blessed to find him anyways and we're pretty happy together with our kids and our life. We don't have a lot of money, but we make do.<br /> I still struggle socially a lot, have some social anxiety that flares up once and awhile, but overall I can handle myself a lot better than I used to. I'm gradually learning how to make friends, but it's hard when literally the only shared experiences you have with other people is pregnancy, motherhood, marriage, etc. I just smile and nod when people talk about high school or college or partying or pop culture references. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-934838 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 08:37:34 +0000 Mrs.Someone 934838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, what an eye opening thread. It really makes you think that you have no idea what your friends could be going through. Thank you for sharing your stories!</p> <p>I'm lucky, I had a relatively easy childhood. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-934834 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 08:35:58 +0000 doxielove 934834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes and no.</p> <p>Yes, my childhood was pretty rough. Adulthood has been even more rough for me though (in relation to my family issues). BUT I have always, always treated my hardships as a challenge to better myself - so that my children never have to go through what I have! @littlebit hits the nail on the head - I never let it define me.</p> <p>Plus, it's all relative. Every time I get a little sad and start to feel sorry for myself, I look around. There are people in the world dealing with much more unfortunate circumstances than I could ever imagine, so I'm grateful for what I do have!</p> <p>ETA - thanks everyone for sharing your story! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-934796 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 08:21:23 +0000 Littlebit 934796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't want to get into it all, but I had a VERY hard childhood. Financially, emotionally, relationship-wise. I absolutely do not let it define me though. I sometimes tell my DH - you're lucky I turned out this well considering! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-934778 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 08:15:47 +0000 MrsKoala 934778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only struggle that I've had is purely financial. My parents were horrible with money and they had too many children for their financial resources. Several times while we were growing up, we were evicted from our housing situation and even though we had a place to go, it was always incredibly embarrassing to go through that. Our cars would be repossessed as well until my dad would make a payment. We would have days where we didn't have enough money to go grocery shopping so we would eat whatever we could find in the house. My father had trouble keeping a job. I was lucky enough to be able to go to college but the financial burden was completely on me and to this day, I have those student loans hanging over my head. But I was safe and happy as a child and I was lucky that money was the only problem that we had. So I really can't say that I have struggled as much as many of you have. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-934767 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 08:11:33 +0000 regberadaisy 934767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes and no.</p> <p>Growing up we were very poor. My parents worked long hard hours but I never faulted them for it because I knew that they were doing it for us. When I was 13 my dad passed away suddenly; I watched them they take him away in a stretcher. But I have nothing to complain about because I didn't lose a husband at a young age. I didn't have to drop out of college to help my mom pay the mortgage so we could have a roof over our heads. My brothers never asked me to work and basically supported me through most of college. They gave up their hopes and dreams so that I can have a better future. For that I am eternally grateful.</p> <p>A few years back my BIL died suddenly in his sleep and my husband was the one that found him My BIL IS a brother to me so that was very hard on all of us. But again, I was not a parent that lost a son. </p> <p>When life gets tough I just try to remember that at that very moment someone out there has it a lot more rough than I do. I think of parents losing a child. A poor innocent child going through a terminal illness. What I am going through is <i>nothing</i> compared to that.</p> <p>I have my health, I have the love of my life, a healthy beautiful baby girl and a mother, siblings and ILs that are all in good health with a roof over our heads. I have so much more than a lot of people in this world.</p> <p>Life has treated me fair. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-934744 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 08:00:42 +0000 loveisstrange 934744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My family was definitely lower middle class. My parents are not the best pair, even though they have been married since '75. I grew up around a LOT of fighting, mostly about money. We never didn't have anything we needed but we rarely got things we didn't, which I guess I can't complain too much about.</p> <p>The neighborhood we lived in was a primarily minority neighborhood and what, I guess, can be considered "the wrong side of the tracks". I grew up with racial slurs and discrimination daily. I think a lot of people will find it interesting to hear a white girl say that.</p> <p>Me dad grew up with 2 abusive alcoholics, so he had a very... hands on approach to parenting. We lived in fear of being back-handed. He was verbally and emotionally abusive more than physically, thank god. Although there is nothing like having your own father tell you you're stupid and look like a slut. </p> <p>I have struggled with anxiety and depression since puberty. My teen years were pretty bleak and I harbored suicidal thoughts for a few years, although I was too chicken to actually do it. My parents never acknowledged there was anything wrong with me (I was a "drama queen") until I had an emotional breakdown at school when I was 17 and they were forced to seek professional help for me. Things improved after that.</p> <p>I would say I had it worse than some but better than a lot. It could have been much, much worse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-934727 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 07:51:25 +0000 petunia354 934727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My life has been mixed, but I've mostly had it easy. The most difficult time for me was when both of my kidneys failed very suddenly and without any reason, I was diagnosed with complete kidney failure on Christmas Day when I was 10. I went through a year and half of dialysis all while trying to keep it a secret at school (changing for gym class when you have a tube coming out of your stomach is no easy feat!!). But unlike many others, my story has a happy ending. My dad gave me one of his kidneys when I was 12 and although I went through many complications and multiple rounds of rejection throughout the years, I am now a healthy adult who was able to have a successful pregnancy. I feel so blessed for my life and even the struggles I have been through because they have shaped the person I am today. Corny, yet true. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-934716 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 07:46:54 +0000 petunia354 934716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HLK208: Wow, thanks for sharing your story!! You are such an inspiration. My cousin went through something similar and I am amazed at how people who have been through what you've been through can have such a positive outlook on life after such a horrific event. I wish you all the best in the world!! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-934671 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 07:30:38 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 934671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've struggled in life, but never because of my family. My struggles are focused on infertility and the depression that surrounds it.</p> <p>My parents, and family, are loving and supportive. I'm very blessed to call them my family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-934633 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 07:05:55 +0000 MrsTiz 934633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had quite a bit of struggles but looking back now, they were my own fault. I had parents who bent over backwards to give us everything and then some. We went on fancy vacations, had everything handed to us on a silver platter. The first time I ever did dishes was when I was 16 and work made me do them lol! My parents still are very financially supportive and I am so thankful for them. </p> <p>I had severe depression and bulimia issues though. I had to see therapists and take handfuls of medicine from 8th grade on. I tried to commit suicide and experimented heavily with drugs and alcohol at a very young age. So all of my problems were my own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-934620 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 06:55:21 +0000 heffalump 934620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was pretty spoiled growing up, and had very supportive parents. Luckily they're still supportive because now we are in a rough patch financially....... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-934558 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 06:14:30 +0000 avivoca 934558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Looking back, there were rough spots. My parents lost two houses, they split up of awhile when I was nine but got back together. We always had food on the table and a roof over our heads, but now I realize that they went without so that my sister and I would have what we wanted/needed. High school was awful, I was bullied for my looks/teeth and still deal with low self esteem. I married a wonderful man, and for the first three years we didn't have very much money at all, and both our parents helped when they could, and somehow we were able to repay them. Now we own a house and have a baby on the way, things that I wasn't sure would ever happen three years ago when we had $200 between the two of us and no idea how we would make it to the next payday. </p> <p>I'm glad there were hard times because it makes me see and appreciate the blessings in my life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-hard-has-your-life-been-have-you-struggled#post-934414 Tue, 16 Jul 2013 00:00:31 +0000 stiletto_mom 934414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>bookmarked. </p>