https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 21:37:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-775373 Sat, 11 May 2013 16:11:56 +0000 swedishfish 775373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: It makes me feel like my struggle has to be a secret in a way still. The Church could refuse to baptize my baby if they find out...but then again I'd probably switch to a different type of church if that happened. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-775368 Sat, 11 May 2013 16:03:30 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 775368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had some serious doubts and questions throughout our struggle, but ultimately, IF strengthened my faith. There were several verses that became my mantras throughout the whole ordeal, and I don't know that I would have made it through without my faith! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-775333 Sat, 11 May 2013 15:18:29 +0000 tequiero21 775333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: yeah, I'm not catholic, but Christian and I know people who would be against ivf. But we too thought it was an avenue that god allowed humanity to have. We also thought if god was against it, he wouldn't allow us to move forward with it. We now have over year old twins. And I know that god put them in our lives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-775328 Sat, 11 May 2013 15:16:30 +0000 tequiero21 775328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: I hope that in time, you'll be able to look back and see how much your faith has grown! =) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-775301 Sat, 11 May 2013 14:49:05 +0000 swedishfish 775301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: I am also Catholic and greatly struggled with moving forward with IVF since the church is against it. Ultimately I made peace with it because God gave us this technology.</p> <p>However, it's not easy to believe that everything necessarily happens for a reason when I work in an area where children are born to parents all the time who don't care enough about them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-775293 Sat, 11 May 2013 14:42:36 +0000 BSB 775293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: @Mrs. Polish: that's great that IF made your faith stronger! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-774399 Fri, 10 May 2013 20:08:48 +0000 tequiero21 774399@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Polish: I agree. </p> <p>If has made my faith stronger. I feel like I can handle anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-774287 Fri, 10 May 2013 19:23:04 +0000 BSB 774287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetMamaM: Aww, I'm so sorry. Hugs!! I can't relate but there was something serious in my life that happened last year that I really really wanted to get pregnant before the event got worse. It's still in the back of my mind but I hope that God answers my prayers before something worse happens. Sorry about being vague. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-774274 Fri, 10 May 2013 19:17:37 +0000 SweetMamaM 774274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's been rough, no lies.<br /> While we've only been trying for six months, my cycles have been completely warped (3 chances to try) and I have, on occasions found myself in a downward spiral. It sounds super-terrible saying it out loud, but sometimes I wonder why God could take my mum from this earth two months after our wedding but giving me a baby when I want one is too much to ask.<br /> In saying that, this journey has highlighted a couple of health issues that would have otherwise gone undetected so I guess there is a purpose. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-774120 Fri, 10 May 2013 17:06:37 +0000 raintreebee 774120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TheSwissWifeStyle: I have been struggling with this too--I am incredibly blessed in my life except for this one little problem. So I feel guilty when I start feeling sorry for myself when people in Bangladesh are getting crushed to death in sweatshops.</p> <p>As for the religion Q, I am not particularly religious but the TTC journey has made me seek out more spiritual practices like meditation and yoga. I did go to church a couple times during my IVF cycles, but it was mostly to find peace rather than to worship. My vision of a higher being is one that is more laissez-faire, I suppose, rather than one who doles out punishments and rewards or even has a plan for me. So in that sense, having IF hasn't weakened my belief in a higher being (if I in fact have such a belief). It has, however, caused me to recognize, in a deep way, that life is full of pain. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773991 Fri, 10 May 2013 15:57:30 +0000 TheSwissWifeStyle 773991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: Yes I hear you. I suppose I have in what some people's eyes could be seen as a charmed life. (Aside from TTC issues.) And I really am SO thankful for the life I have. So then of course I deal with guilt when I'm like "Why me?" Or "Why Not Me", more accurately...Or if we really want to get into it, "Why her and not me?" I could go round and round in my head. But I think we really just need to give ourselves a break. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773976 Fri, 10 May 2013 15:50:26 +0000 TheSwissWifeStyle 773976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Polish: Coming to terms with not being able to control everything is def. hard for me. It's like, my whole life if I wanted something, I worked for it and got it. Then all of a sudden there's this "thing" that I really want and I *thought* I would plan, do it the "right way" then bam, I'd be pregnant and be super mom. How naive of me. </p> <p>@Mrs. Train: Thanks for your input! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773971 Fri, 10 May 2013 15:49:03 +0000 BSB 773971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TheSwissWifeStyle: I, too, had thoughts about being a good person and being rewarded with good life experiences. Up until IF, I had those thoughts. I was blessed with a lot of luck (others may say that I worked hard to be where I am in my career). I believe in Karma and you know good things happening to good people. I was that person who always gave back and tried to look at the good in people. Then IF happened and I'm at a point, where I am trying to find reasons why I wasn't blessed with a child yet. Little things, like maybe I'm not close to family so I should move closer to home. I'm currently on a TTC break, so that why I'm much clearer but during my TWW and then AF making an appearance, I was willing to change anything and everything to be 'perfect' in God's eyes. </p> <p>I hope I don't offend anyone but I was looking at pre-teens, high schoolers, drug addicts and seeing them get pregnant in not very favorable conditions. Why? Why? Why?<br /> Why isn't it me?</p> <p>Right now, taking a break, I'm thinking that maybe God wants me to have some time. When I made the decision to take a break, I was devastated and hurt that I would have to wait longer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773767 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:35:30 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 773767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Polish: that's the God I believe in too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773741 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:29:26 +0000 jmarionsmith 773741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>this doesn't really answer your question but is still on topic of faith and infertility. for all of my adulthood i have been an atheist and i think my lack of faith made it almost easier to deal with infertility.</p> <p> i understood that i wasn't being punished or that i wasn't being taught a lesson that i just couldn't see at the time. and every time a teenager in my family accidentally got knocked up (and there were quite a few during my 5 years of struggling to get pregnant) i didn't plead to god "why not me?! it's not fair"</p> <p>in my opinion, infertility is random, there is no one to blame and knowing that helped me deal with my situation. </p> <p>i think i saw a comment made by @Mrs. Jacks: that it made her sad when someone said something to the effect that "god gave them their children in his time..." and i completely agree. what does that mean for those that are never able to have children? were they not deserving? did god not see them fit to be parents? </p> <p>i hope no one is offended by my opinion, especially since it really doesn't help anyone that is struggling with their faith but i just wanted to share my two cents! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773677 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:11:50 +0000 tbuzz 773677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think any test or trial can hinder your faith in God. But it's believing during those times that should strengthen your faith b/c God is still God regardless of the situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773668 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:09:34 +0000 Mrs. Train 773668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TheSwissWifeStyle: I am not necessarily thankful for what we suffered. But I would willingly do it all over again, every tear, every heartache, every moment of stress. I would suffer it all again if it meant I got to have my son in my life. If we weren't struggling I would not have gone to adoption and he would not be mine. I can't even imagine that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773654 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:03:21 +0000 Mrs. Polish 773654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>IF strengthened my faith. I felt like my faith was all I had because I needed something to hold onto. I knew that there was a reason why wasn't able to get pregnant and I feel like everything we went through led us to our son. It was hard to keep that feeling all the time though. It did teach me that I can't control everything.</p> <p>Clearly we all believe differently, but I believe in a loving God who doesn't want us to suffer. I don't think he makes bad things happen to us if we haven't been good in his eyes. He forgives us, right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773584 Fri, 10 May 2013 13:44:58 +0000 Mrsbells 773584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think life in general is Faith rocking because you see bad things happening everyday, you see other people who are trying for a baby and not getting it whilst some people get pregnant and don't even want to keep the baby. Life in general doesnt follow any method that makes sense to the human mind. If you do believe in God or a higher power sometimes it helps you to accept the hard times but sometimes it makes it even harder. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773577 Fri, 10 May 2013 13:42:28 +0000 TheSwissWifeStyle 773577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ETA, these are just my opinions and I hope I don't offend anyone with them! xoxo</p> <p>Well, let me preface by saying I've never been super religious, in the sense that I don't go to church a lot. </p> <p>I do want to go to church, but A-haven't found one here that we like, and B-have a hard time with believing that ONE way is the only way. I'm thinking of checking out a Universal Unitarian Church in Geneva. I like the idea of learning from all the religions in the world. </p> <p>That being said, I do believe in God, (or a God, or Gods.) I always had the belief that if you were a good person, you'd be rewarded by good life experiences. Is this the wrong way of thinking? I don't know. But those beliefs made me who I am, kept me out of trouble growing up, kept my morals in check most of the time, etc. </p> <p>So perhaps that's why it's so hard to deal with the fact that we've had trouble getting pregnant, had 2 mc's etc...when there are people out there who do drugs, don't know who their "baby daddy is" smoke while pregnant, etc, and THOSE people get to take home healthy babies. </p> <p>My best friend is a labor and delivery nurse in Philly and she dealt with her own struggles as well. She's told me so many crazy stories and when I complain to her how it's "not fair" it's seriously like preaching to the choir. </p> <p>So for me it's like, what's the point of being a good person if I'm getting screwed over like this. </p> <p>BUT, then I also wonder like, maybe there is something out there that is meant to be and I just don't know it yet? Like if we adopt, and then we're like "I can't imagine my life without this child, THIS child was supposed to be mine." Then does that make you thankful for your past struggles? </p> <p>Anywho, I don't know. Needless to say it's something I've been struggling with lately. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773539 Fri, 10 May 2013 13:23:59 +0000 Mrs. Train 773539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We went through a Christian adoption agency and they even had faith based infertility counseling because so many women struggle with faith and infertility. I felt guilty because sometimes I would answer their faith based questions the way I thought they wanted them to be answered. I felt like I was an undercover doubter and that at any minute someone would figure it out and kick us out of the agency. I know now that was only my skewed perception but I really felt that way at the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773483 Fri, 10 May 2013 12:57:44 +0000 Mrs. Cowgirl 773483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: and now, I'm tearing up!!! but, yes, exactly...parenting has taught me so much about God's heart for us. how much He loves and adores us and much He wants what's *good* for us, even if it's not what we desire... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773482 Fri, 10 May 2013 12:56:02 +0000 Mrs. Train 773482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have always been a bit of a questioner. I just am by nature. I am also an evolutionary biologist which I was able to blend together decently. But when faces with IF I felt like I lost into faith completely. I felt like if I was given a body that could not carry babies I should have been given a heart that didn't desire it. I stopped going to church and even told my mom I didn't believe anymore. It wasn't until after my twins were born (I feel guilty not being able to say it was when my oldest son was born) that I started coming back to my faith. It was such a bad time in my heart i hate to think of all the anger and resentment I was carrying. I still have lingering questions and doubts but I am much better now </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773476 Fri, 10 May 2013 12:54:18 +0000 runsyellowlites 773476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Cowgirl: " I think He was sad that we were so sad during our journey"</p> <p>This totally made me tear up b/c I've felt like God is SO like this with us. Just like we're sad when our kids our sad even when we understand the process or what's ahead that's good and they don't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773470 Fri, 10 May 2013 12:52:27 +0000 TheReelDeal 773470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's so easy to lose faith during IF. I know I've asked myself a million times "why"? What lessons am I learning from not getting the baby I so desperately want. I have had a couple of moments where I thought "what kind of God would do this"? I've only managed to keep a lof my faith because of my family, they remind me that you can't always know what He has planned. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773469 Fri, 10 May 2013 12:52:22 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 773469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've questioned why, been angry &amp; jealous. I have a tough time with getting through a mass with out crying but my faith has remained the same if not it has made me a little stronger. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773463 Fri, 10 May 2013 12:50:36 +0000 cyndistar3 773463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't struggled with infertility but have definitely had some other issues that had taken a toll on my faith, the verse that I hold on to is Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." I know it is hard to see at the moment but there is always a reason for what God is doing and his timing is perfect :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773452 Fri, 10 May 2013 12:46:09 +0000 Mrs. Cowgirl 773452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>oh man...IF ROCKED my faith. it was a really hard and dark 2 years for both me and my husband. i felt like i was trying to cling to something i could no longer get a grasp of, you know? since i became momma to my son, though, it's been a restoring journey in knowing that God is sovereign and knew the plan for our family. I think He was sad that we were so sad during our journey, but I think through that sadness and through our journey we learned so much more about God's heart and His plan for our lives that we often cannot see or understand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773442 Fri, 10 May 2013 12:41:17 +0000 Mrs. Train 773442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Eek. I have A lot to say but my kids are tearing my house apart. I seriously could write your novel about my struggles but I will be back in a few and try to keep it to a concise paragraph. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-has-if-affected-your-faith#post-773423 Fri, 10 May 2013 12:32:27 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 773423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's a good topic. I'll be interested to see what people have to say. </p>