https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 16:46:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1837492 Tue, 26 Aug 2014 15:48:19 +0000 loveisstrange 1837492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I dont know that I really have a "stance", I just do what has felt right for us. C is very, very, very stubborn. I usually prompt her to say sorry when she does something she should apologize for. If she refuses I still explain to her why what she did is wrong and drop it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1837483 Tue, 26 Aug 2014 15:45:47 +0000 jedeve 1837483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure where I stand on this. I agree sometimes you just have tondo it whether or not you want to. But I want to work on teaching him empathy and righting the wrong first. I do try to make a point to apologize to him if I am in the wrong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1833268 Sun, 24 Aug 2014 11:45:25 +0000 Applesandbananas 1833268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO doesn't say sorry yet, he's 17m, but lately I try to tell him that that hurt Mommy or that that isn't appropriate behavior "we don't throw things at the doggie!" and I make him pause, look at me, then let him move on. He's too little for time out, IMO, so just trying to get him to pause momentarily is the best I've got! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1833244 Sun, 24 Aug 2014 11:19:56 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 1833244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes it's very important. I usually follow up with a "do you know why you're sorry?" - luckily DD has always been quick to say sorry and usually knows why. </p> <p>@Weagle: we do the same around here. Always making sure to let her know that we forgive her is just as important. </p> <p>@Jess1483: I agree with this! Same thing with why I "force" my kids to say hi and bye (DD was incredibly shy when younger and having her say hi was like pulling teeth), it's a social convention and courtesy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1833223 Sun, 24 Aug 2014 10:47:39 +0000 erwoo 1833223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When my oldest was younger and didn't know any better I would teach him to say sorry, but if he didn't I would apologize for him. Now that he's older he's better about apologizing when I tell him he needs to. He also says it automatically now. Yay! Now my youngest... he'll say it but more like mumble it without moving his lips. :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1829091 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 14:55:55 +0000 makemake 1829091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom taught/forced us to follow up saying "I'm sorry" with "what can I do to make it better?". </p> <p>I'd like to think it taught us that we should strive to make things right beyond a [sometimes un-heartfelt] sentiment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1829086 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 14:54:26 +0000 RsMom 1829086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've had the conversation with LO about if you do something to someone that makes them feel hurt it is good to say sorry. He has yet to actually say it but he will give a hug usually. I'm not sure if he just doesn't understand or he just hasn't mastered the word yet. I'm hoping that as he gets older he will grasp the concept better and start using the word. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1829072 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 14:49:16 +0000 autumnlove 1829072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Weagle: I get a lot of lip back. Ugh...you can't make me say sorry. I won't say it! Not sorry...ahh! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1829067 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 14:47:14 +0000 Freckles 1829067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's pretty important, and i know it's something i have to keep emphasizing until she knows how to say it on her own.</p> <p>I find that the times she REFUSES to say it (or is on the verge of tears) is when she knows she did something very bad and feels bad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1829008 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 14:21:48 +0000 yin 1829008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It was important for me to teach LO how to say sorry, but it wasn't something that he caught onto until he was older. I just kept at it and also made sure to explain the situation to him. I notice that my niece uses the sign for sorry, but she doesn't understand what it means, only that she has to do it when told. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1828959 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 14:08:08 +0000 78h2o 1828959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Weagle: Thanks! I'd love for my LO to do it everytime, I just feel like I'd be asking for trouble. She's not that verbal yet and I sort of have to choose my battles when it comes to insisting she do things. But maybe when she's a little older! That gives me hope. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1828797 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 13:33:04 +0000 Weagle 1828797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@78h2o: 27 months. However, she's incredibly verbal, and she is really good at conversation. And she's not a particularly sensitive child, so the instruction doesn't usually make her more worked up. I don't think it's an approach that would work with every kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1828778 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 13:29:30 +0000 78h2o 1828778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Weagle: How old is your LO? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1828635 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 12:47:44 +0000 Weagle 1828635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We do. It's good practice even if she doesn't totally understand it now. When she says it really quickly or it seems like she's just saying it to move on from the situation, we make her stop and tell us why she's sorry. We also always follow up with, "I forgive you." Also, a huge help in her learning how/when to say sorry has been modeling it ourselves. I try to remember to apologize to her throughout the day (when I get angry or impatient, if I accidentally bump into her, etc). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1828502 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 12:18:50 +0000 Jess1483 1828502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's a good point about feeling sorry v. just saying it, but I think we often say sorry when we don't mean it, just like we say "thank you" when we get something we don't want for Christmas. It's teaching a social convention as well as a feeling of empathy. I think it's good to focus on how the other person is feeling and ask "what do you think we can do to make XXX feel better" (when the child is capable of that conversation), but I think forcing the sorry to some extent is also good. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1828495 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 12:17:21 +0000 sunny 1828495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I ask her to say sorry if she does something like hitting. I don't think she really understands it though, because she says it with a big smile on her face. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1828492 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 12:17:00 +0000 jmarionsmith 1828492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: haha right?! </p> <p>while i do want my lo to actually feel sorry, it's still the right thing to do if you have wronged someone, even you if you don't whole heartedly feel apologetic.</p> <p>with that said, i wonder if i've pushed it too much on lo. if he hits or throws something he shouldn't i tell him "you need to say sorry" and he almost immediately will. but in addition to that, if he trips over something/falls down he says "sowwy" or if i stub my toe or hurt myself, "sowwy mommy." have i made him feel like everything is his fault? it makes me so sad when he apologizes even though he's done no wrong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1828461 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 12:09:06 +0000 mrs. tictactoe 1828461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We like Liam to say it, especially if it's something really bad like hitting or throwing things at people. If he won't, he goes on time out and then he says it when that's done. He usually will say it eventually even if he doesn't right away. I think it's just taking him some time to understand what it means and why he should say it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1828456 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 12:08:24 +0000 78h2o 1828456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I ask her to say it, but if she doesn't, I move on. I feel like she is young and doesn't always understand the situation or understand how she is feeling. When she is 3+, I think I will press for an apology, but at 20 months, I move on. I often say something like, "Mommy is sorry that you _____. I hope you are sorry too," and leave it at that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1828453 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 12:07:48 +0000 kiddosc 1828453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: If I really had to feel sorry every time I said sorry I'd be screwed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1828449 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 12:07:32 +0000 HappyBaker 1828449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wonder this too - DD is 2 and timeouts work pretty well with her, but she always refuses to say she's sorry at the end of them. I never know if I should push it / make her or not.</p> <p>@travelgirl1: Good point about them feeling sorry vs just saying it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1828442 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 12:06:17 +0000 Jess1483 1828442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hard! My little one doesn't say sorry yet, but he will sign it. If he hurts someone, I do require sorry, but it's a little easier because I can take his hand and "make" him say it (it's a pretty new sign, so sometimes I think he forgets.) I'd probably give a small consequence for refusal to say sorry (you hurt me with your truck, and since you can't say sorry, I think that truck needs a time-out). Then I'd drop it and move on.</p> <p>I once babysat for an awful little boy who threw a rock at a truck (I wasn't watching him then.) He totally refused to say sorry, and the guy almost sued. It would have been so much easier if he had said sorry.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1828437 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 12:05:08 +0000 travelgirl1 1828437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well I used to really press it but one of the teachers at the playgroup we go to recently told me not to because I shouldn't try make her feel sorry, she has to feel it for herself, and saying it when she doesn't understand what it means doesn't help.... She told me to really focus on getting her to understand how the other person is feeling, instead. Like "Awwww, poor xyz, they are sad because xxx". I'm not sure I agree with that theory, DH certainty doesn't, but I'm trying it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-important-is-it-for-your-lo-to-say-sorry#post-1828431 Thu, 21 Aug 2014 12:02:27 +0000 autumnlove 1828431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try to get LO to say sorry and sometimes she does it without prodding but what about the times when SHE REFUSES TO SAY IT?!?</p> <p>Do you wait until your LO says sorry or do you discuss it and then drop it? </p>