https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 15:46:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-involved-iswas-your-dh#post-1176469 Sat, 26 Oct 2013 21:21:20 +0000 cascademom 1176469@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With gear, I got the most help from my SIL. DH agreed with those recs. The week before he arrived, DH went to BRU a couple of times. He hated it, but there's a Wingstop near one so that was his reward. After LO arrived, he picked up anything needed like Tylenol, etc. He's awesome that way. A couple of nights ago, he wanted to go Walgreens to get baby band-aids. I stopped him and knocked on a neighbor's door who have kids to ask for some. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-involved-iswas-your-dh#post-1176392 Sat, 26 Oct 2013 20:00:39 +0000 matador84 1176392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>None, he lets me do whatever I want. He'll give input if I ask for it, but really it's just free reign for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-involved-iswas-your-dh#post-1176383 Sat, 26 Oct 2013 19:41:38 +0000 MrsF 1176383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH was pretty involved, but I think the whole thing is really abstract for a lot of men until the baby is actually here. I bet your DH will be more helpful once he sees your LO for the first time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-involved-iswas-your-dh#post-1176244 Sat, 26 Oct 2013 17:22:36 +0000 MrsStar 1176244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>dh was very much go-with-the-flow and let me choose what we needed/wanted and helped me carry it/set it up. He was in charge of installing the carseats/put the crib up, move furniture, set up the monitor. He's been pretty agreeable which worked well for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-involved-iswas-your-dh#post-1176242 Sat, 26 Oct 2013 17:20:21 +0000 shopaholic 1176242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like my DH. I can't change him. Once in awhile I'll bring it up, he helps out more, but then goes back to his same ways. Sorry. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-involved-iswas-your-dh#post-1176240 Sat, 26 Oct 2013 17:19:29 +0000 Mrs. Twine 1176240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think for my husband it was all mostly theoretical until she was actually here. He is a wonderful dad, he is very helpful, but he wasn't all over baby preparation. It worked for me, because I preferred to do most of that stuff on my own. And he was very helpful and willing to do things when given a specific task. Try letting him know exactly what it is you would like and see if he will do it. Personally, I have always wanted a mind-reader for a spouse ;) and have a tendency to not give as much credit for things that I have to ask for, but I am coming to realize that it's just as nice to have him do something that is helpful or loving even if I have to spell it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-involved-iswas-your-dh#post-1176233 Sat, 26 Oct 2013 17:08:52 +0000 Sapphiresun 1176233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, I hate to admit it but my husband was pretty much useless in this department. I gave him the exact same two things to research (monitor and car seat). We now have a three month old and still don't own a monitor. The car seat I ended up choosing myself and asked him to install it when I was about 24 weeks pregnant. He had to leave the hospital after the baby was born to go home, open the box and learn how to install it and bring it to the hospital because I'd finally had enough at that point and decided to just let him be embarrassed when he ha to explain why we couldn't take the baby home.<br /> I tried/try really hard to let him do things his way and remind myself that my way and timeline aren't always the ONLY way I doing things but it's definitely hard. A lot of stuff that he'd said he'd help me with fell to me completely and it was kind of like, if I'd known I was going to be doing these things alone I would hve tackled them before I was big as a house.<br /> And unfortunately to this day I know he loves her very much but he's still not very good at taking care of her. I try to only intervene when he does or forgets to do something that could harm her but the skills just aren't there, and I have to give him very specific instructions.<br /> We argued recently and I told him I kind of feel like a mom whose kids begged for a pet (he was "ready" for a baby years before I was) and promised to feed and walk and take care of it but then the whole responsibility fell in my lap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-involved-iswas-your-dh#post-1176193 Sat, 26 Oct 2013 16:08:22 +0000 Lindsay05 1176193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband would do anything I asked him to do but I did have to ask him. If I left it up to him, we would be getting everything ready once I went into labour. I never got into anything too specific though. For me as long as the car seat, crib, toys were up to code, then I was ok with whatever we got. We bought a lot of stuff as we went along and were able to figure out which one was best for our LO because for somethings you just don't know what suit's them best. I am sorry he isn't as involved as you like but maybe reassure him that you would appreciate his opinion and that his opinion really does matter to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-involved-iswas-your-dh#post-1176188 Sat, 26 Oct 2013 16:02:56 +0000 MamaCate 1176188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband got overwhelmed with how much of a multitasker I am but was able to communicate this. Like, I would want to talk to him about cribs, and cloth diapers, and car seats, and strollers and sheets, and convertible car seats etc all at the same time, because I was doing my research on all those things and making my lists. It helped for him to tell me that so we could do things in what he thought was a logical order, so we would figure out one thing, then the next thing, little by little. </p> <p>Every once in a while he did have some strong opinion totally out of left field that I was not expecting and then had to accommodate, so it can go both ways I guess? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-involved-iswas-your-dh#post-1176164 Sat, 26 Oct 2013 15:36:04 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 1176164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I did that 3 months ago. I Never got the answers back (even after a nasty fight over it 3 weeks ago which he claims to have done the research but has neglected to give me the information) so I ended up doing it myself. His list was car seats &amp; secure video monitors. Tech stuff that would be easy for an analyst to look into. </p> <p>We did go to BRU to register &amp; the furniture store together but I didn't give him a choice, he had to go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-involved-iswas-your-dh#post-1176151 Sat, 26 Oct 2013 15:28:45 +0000 swedishfish 1176151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry your DH isn't helping you enough. I'm lucky that my DH is/was very involved...but he did have too many opinions at times :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-involved-iswas-your-dh#post-1176150 Sat, 26 Oct 2013 15:28:45 +0000 looch 1176150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I gave my husband specific things to research, like the car seat. I tried to find things that were somewhat technical so he would be interested. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-involved-iswas-your-dh#post-1176147 Sat, 26 Oct 2013 15:27:11 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 1176147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When it comes to planning &amp; preparing for the baby?</p> <p>DH is handling this a lot like he did for the wedding. I do all the work if I have a question he tells me to get or do what I want. All the cleaning &amp; renovations have been left up to me to either do or find someone else to do it because DH never gets to it. He does work his butt off so I will can be a sahm once the babies are here so I can't fault him to much &amp; I think a part of it is just who he is. I'd just like for him to pick up the phone and call his parents &amp; arrange for something to get done so I don't have to do it... that's all. </p> <p>Is it a guy thing? Its like he is oblivious to what I'm doing &amp; what needs to be done. </p>