Hellobee Boards Topic: How is your relationship with your own mother?

Hellobee Boards Topic: How is your relationship with your own mother? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 29 May 2026 21:21:49 +0000 Mrs. Pickle on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-513186 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 12:39:37 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 513186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I have a good relationship with my mom. She's wonderful. I wish I got to see her more. sandy on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-513158 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 12:26:24 +0000 sandy 513158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I am close to my mom...she would do anything for me. I feel so lucky to have that example in my life. My husband says he loves my mom so much bc she taught me how to be an amazing wife and mom. Of course we don't get along all of the time...I had to kind of put boundaries in place after LO was born (I'm not into all the Korean recovery restrictions) but overall we are close and I know I am lucky to have that kind of relationship with her teamjse on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-513143 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 12:18:38 +0000 teamjse 513143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My mom is my best friend. She's the only person I can talk on the phone with for over an hour. Maribel on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-513055 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 11:41:14 +0000 Maribel 513055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My mom can be my best friend when we are in good terms, but when we have our discussions, she talks about me with my other brothers and sisters, as well as she does with me about them. So, at this point, I don't really trust her my personal and much less my marital issues when I have them. Also, when I had my daughter, she was living in my house and she would take care of my daughter while I and my husband worked, and we would pay her a fee every week. Now, she tells everyone that my daughter is like her daughter because she took care of her almost since she was born, as if she took care of her in a full time basis. She makes me look as an irresponsible mother since she doesn't explain the facts as they really are. She also rubs on my face the memories she has when my daughter was a baby. Maybe she is like that because she didn't have an education and she just acts as she feels. Sometimes, I feel that I don't love her as a mother deserves. And this makes me feel very sad... and guilty. MamaMagpie on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-512970 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 11:23:12 +0000 MamaMagpie 512970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Wow. You have no idea how incredibly alone I felt in this before I posted here, and to now know that there are others in similar situations makes me feel, finally, like I'm not. I would never wish this type of complicated mess on anyone, but it is comforting to know that there are others out there, and better yet, here on HB, who know what it's like. DH is extremely supportive, but it's not quite the same as knowing how it feels personally, like some of you do. I feel so much more confident in my decision, and so much less guilty. I sincerely appreciate you guys sharing your stories and advice! MrsTiz on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-512802 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 10:27:24 +0000 MrsTiz 512802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I love my mom! She is my best friend and I talk to her every day. lilyofthewest on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-512783 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 10:18:04 +0000 lilyofthewest 512783@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm not even TTC and won't be for quite a while yet. But I'm already afraid of this. My mother is bipolar, and her illness has definitely negatively affected our relationship. I only talk to her a couple of times per year, so, discussing any kind of big life news is awkward at best. I separated from my wife over the summer, and my mother still doesn't know. I called her on her birthday and on mother's day, but, my calls weren't returned. I have no idea if she's specifically not talking to me for a reason, or if she's been unusually unstable recently. Or both. Alivoo01 on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-512772 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 10:14:57 +0000 Alivoo01 512772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My mom and I were never really close. I was a total daddy's little girl and related to him much more. Our relationship has gotten better when I moved away and "grew up". We still butt heads, but she knows I'm very stubborn and if I don't agree with her, well that's that. I do hear her out though. My mom was always spoiled since she was a kid (she couldn't be yelled at or disciplined because when she was, she'd break out in a really high fever) and when she married my dad, she's been a SAHM ever since so her mentality is a little different from mine when I've been working for some time. oahujeni on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-512758 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 10:10:33 +0000 oahujeni 512758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I hadn't spoken with my mom throughout my entire pregnancy. She started texting me when she found out LO was born. I shared our private photo site with her and every now and then she will email me. It's better that way for me for many reasons that i won't go into the details but basically I am better off without her negativity in my life. She is not a good person and my LO is more important than trying to build a relationship with her right now. Do what's best for you and your family. Smurfette on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-512738 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 10:06:45 +0000 Smurfette 512738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Our relationship is awesome. We either talk/email/text every day. I tell her just about everything. littlek on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-512733 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 10:05:46 +0000 littlek 512733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My mom is my best friend. LindsayInNY on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-512684 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 09:55:41 +0000 LindsayInNY 512684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It's really interesting the way that mental illness affects relationships... I'm not super close with either parent. My dad and I use to be closer when I was younger. But I never really call them for advice (unless it's financial stuff, buying a house, etc.). My mom has been medicated for depressed for a good 20 years now. I don't think she's on the best medication but she's got this "if it's not broke, don't fix it attitude" and thinks its fine. The medication seems to numb her emotions. She's often neutral emotioned but then occasionally gets hyper moments or crying moments, sometimes in less than appropriate situations. It is what it is but I definitely will learn from it and hopefully have a different relationship with my LO. Cherrybee on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-512442 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 07:23:58 +0000 Cherrybee 512442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I also have a strained relationship with my mum. She has really low self esteem and, like PPs have said of their mothers, she's all about me. She's open with anyone who will listen about how lonely she is (divorced 19 yrs now and no other children) but she refuses to do anything with anyone except me. She wont visit me unless I pick her up and drop her off afterwards (I tend to just visit her instead), she wont eat proper food unless I take her shopping (she's only 62) and she never asks for anything directly, preferring to cry about how I "never do this for her" or "don't care that she X,Y,Z" until I work out what she wants and offer to do it/get it. She's never had DH round for dinner because she says she's too old to cook now and she wont invite anyone else over because she's "ashamed of her house". She's already started dropping hints about how she doesn't suppose she will get to be a part of her grandchild's life, she supposes his/her other grandparents (inlaws - who she is SUPER jealous of) will get to see him/her more. It's a shame because I want to have a better relationship with her and I want her to be part of my LOs life but it's going to be such an effort including her. If the inlaws want to see LO they will come round (and probably bring a casserole!) or they'll invite us for dinner. But one of us will have to go and fetch my mum or pack up LO and take him/her round..... I'm just moaning now!! I'm so sorry you have such a strained relationship with your mum, too. Your situation sounds quite different - and you have to protect your child and yourself emotionally. You know what the right thing is to do - your priority has to be your little family now. Bookish on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-512220 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 23:31:45 +0000 Bookish 512220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MamaMagpie: @allison: Reminds me a lot of my relationship with my mom. Very strained, and I was very nervous about telling her I was pregnant. I honestly thought she wouldn't give a s***. She acts excited, but she's still pulling passive aggressive bs with me and is verbally abusive to my sisters. I've distanced myself because it's the only way I can function. I've dealt a lot with the guilt of 'this is your mom, you only get one,' but my SIL told me once (after my mom decided she didn't want to come to my wedding) that I never seemed more stressed out and upset than when I was talking with or about my mother. I don't want to be stressed all the time, so I limit our interactions for my own health. When LO comes, I do not expect him/her to have much interaction with my mom, and while it's a shame, it's for the best. My family comes first! HabesBabe on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-512207 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 23:20:37 +0000 HabesBabe 512207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Keppa: This is my relationship with my mom-- with the exception of the boyfriends thing. She didn't have ANY boyfriends or any friends at all, so her entire life was me, me, me. Then I got older and started wanting my own life, and then she started to get really resentful that I wasn't including her in everything like she included me. I hope that LO and I have a much MUCH better relationship than I do with my own mother. Mrs. Superhero on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-512158 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 23:06:45 +0000 Mrs. Superhero 512158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm sorry it's so rough for you! I have a great relationship with my mom, we talk on the phone a lot. It's best, however, to limit visits to under 5 days or I go insane. But still, love. singingbee on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-512124 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 22:53:58 +0000 singingbee 512124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm so sorry that you have a difficult relationship. My mom and I have a great Relationship and we talk to or three times at least a day. mrsjyw on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-511617 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 20:45:33 +0000 mrsjyw 511617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm so grateful that my mom and I have such a close, great relationship. I know that it's not always the case and I really can't have survived pregnancy and motherhood without her. I'm sorry you're in that situation. I'd definitely set my boundaries early on. You need to look out for you and your LO first and worry about her hurt feelings next in an already strained relationship. I hope things work out the way you want it to! chopsuey on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-511589 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 20:42:04 +0000 chopsuey 511589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I have a great relationship with my mom. We can chat for hours about anything. Sad that we live so far away, but we skype once a week and talk on the phone almost every day. yellowbird on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-511562 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 20:37:04 +0000 yellowbird 511562@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My mom battled mental illness as well. We spent 6 years not speaking and then the last 5 years of her life with a very difficult relationship. I did not like being around her, and she would often make me feel guilty for trying to protect myself and my emotions, but she was always a victim. She had a chronic illness and got very sick suddenly and passed away 3 years ago next weekend. I still struggle with guilt over the relationship and I'm even more anxious about my relationship with my DD because I do not want to be like her. It's scary, really :( I'm sorry you have to deal with this! Mrs. Oyster on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-511547 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 20:35:09 +0000 Mrs. Oyster 511547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My relationship with my mom is also tricky. She's been a single mom (with boyfriends on/off again) for my whole life. I'm also an only child. She can be quite overbearing and also wants to be involved in EVERY aspect of my life. She's also positive that I love my in-laws more than her (very untrue). Since having LO she tends to tell me all the things I'm doing wrong, without actually telling me (e.g. as she's changing LO she'll say to him "tell your mom these wipes are too cold," etc). It's definitely not always a rosy relationship unfortunately. Boogs on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-511520 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 20:30:48 +0000 Boogs 511520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My relationships with my parents is a tricky one. We all get along, but I'm not sure close with either parent. allison on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-511401 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 20:10:55 +0000 allison 511401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Oh man. This hits home for me. My mom and I have a VERY strained relationship. Like you, it's a long story and I don't want to go into detail on here, but I don't really even want a relationship with her, at this point. When she found out I was pregnant, she went crazy. Started calling/emailing/texting all the time. Telling me how much she loves me and how excited she is that her "baby is having a baby!". And she has sent us a TON of stuff for the baby. Like 10 times more than anyone else. I know it's all a ploy to guilt me into having a closer relationship with her, though. Things came to a head recently and I had to tell her to back the F off. I eventually even asked that she not come up when the baby is born (we live a long way away from family). So yeah, my own mother is not welcome to come to visit me and my baby after the birth. Most people that I've talked to about this warn me not to push her away because "she's the only mother you've got", but personally, I don't buy into that. My #1 responsibility is to my family and my child. They come first. Also, my sanity is more important than her feelings. I'm not going to compromise who I am just to make her feel better about herself. So, yeah. I feel ya. I say you need to think long and hard about what YOU want and what's best for you and your family. Make sure that you won't have any regrets later on about decisions you make now. But if, in the end, you decide that your mom is poison to your family, it doesn't make you a bad person. There's more to family than blood. MamaMagpie on "How is your relationship with your own mother?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-is-your-relationship-with-your-own-mother#post-511321 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 19:59:02 +0000 MamaMagpie 511321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I have an extremely strained relationship with my mom, and am nervous about telling her I'm pregnant. Not because she won't approve or anything like that, but because I know she will want to be a lot more involved in my life now, and will want to be super involved once LO arrives. I'm really struggling with this. It's much too complicated to really go into details here, but suffice to say she battles mental illness and is often verbally abusive. I haven't wanted her in my life for quite a while, and have always struggled with that guilt. Now, as I become closer to becoming a parent myself, my feelings of guilt have quadrupled...even though I know my intentions are to protect myself and my growing family. Do any of you, or your SOs, have tough relationships with a parent/parents? How do you handle it in regards to your pregnancy and/or LOs life?