https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 21 May 2026 08:12:36 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-like-you-handle-a-chronicfatal-illness#post-2919713 Sun, 18 Oct 2020 20:11:24 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2919713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: I know how hard it is to struggle with worry over medical issues. I tend to worry about what if’s when it comes to my own kiddos. To save my own sanity, I have adopted the mantra “it is what it is” and we will deal with it. At the end of the day, we have no control over these things, so you just have to deal with things as they come, one step at a time. Try to find comfort in the present, knowing her results are normal. Today she is healthy. Try to not focus on tomorrow. Hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-like-you-handle-a-chronicfatal-illness#post-2919685 Sat, 17 Oct 2020 20:14:05 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2919685@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: I know you've struggled with things in the past too so I imagine there might be some connections there. I get major anxiety ironically around minor illnesses. I spent all of last winter, before Covid, freaking out about the flu. No idea why, it just plagued me constantly, even though we've all had the flu before and it was all fine. I remember reading a local story about a 16 year old girl who died of the flu unexpectedly (though I now wonder if it was the flu, because it was around mid-late February), and I lost it for days. I couldn't sleep, I wouldn't take my daughter out anywhere, I was a mess. Something that helps me deal personally (though my therapist says this can actually make the anxiety worse but it does help me) is working through a plan in writing. Like for Covid, I wrote out what to pack in a hospital bag, what documents to share, how to set up an isolation room if someone got sick, etc. Preparedness helps me in dealing with some of the less serious stuff. Weirdly I never worried about the big things because it just seems like you can't prepare for any of that, but I tell myself I can somehow control the flu. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-like-you-handle-a-chronicfatal-illness#post-2919680 Sat, 17 Oct 2020 18:44:18 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2919680@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: I’m so sorry for your friend </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-like-you-handle-a-chronicfatal-illness#post-2919679 Sat, 17 Oct 2020 18:43:48 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2919679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My problem is that I can’t stop the extreme worry even after her EKG results came back normal. I don’t know what to do. :meh: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-like-you-handle-a-chronicfatal-illness#post-2919639 Fri, 16 Oct 2020 13:14:40 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2919639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My lifelong friend is living this right now. Her 6yo daughter was diagnosed with leukemia a week ago (you may have seen my other post about it last week) She has already started chemo, will lose her hair and is looking at 2-3 years of treatment. As another poster said, they have no choice but to get on with it. They need to support their daughter the best they can and roll with whatever happens next. They have to trust the doctors are the best of the best (they actually are at the leading children’s hospital in Canada) An entire community of family, friends and strangers is rallying behind them with blood drives, meals, toys and gifts, and the gofundme I’ve started is almost 30k in 5 days. All they can do is go with it, there’s no other choice. </p> <p>For me, thinking about the logistics of stressful<br /> Situations is helpful. Who would I need to help me? What would I need? Who would do that? This puts my mind at ease. We would get through it no matter how hellish it would be or the outcome. I know my friend will as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-like-you-handle-a-chronicfatal-illness#post-2919635 Fri, 16 Oct 2020 12:24:44 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2919635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: I have watched other parents go through this with their children having cancer. They do it because they have to, there is no other option. It's messy, it's exhausting, it's terrifying, and it's heartbreaking. I know you didn't say cancer specifically, but with cancer and I imagine other illnesses, their lives are never ever the same even if/when they've survived. Sorry to be a downer. I think family, friends, and faith will get you through, but if we are talking about serious life threatening illnesses, I honestly don't think there are a lot of things worse than a child suffering like that, fighting for their lives every single day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-like-you-handle-a-chronicfatal-illness#post-2919606 Thu, 15 Oct 2020 20:11:32 +0000 rpparker 2919606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not the same as losing a child at all but I’m going through my second really tough, unexpected, life altering loss and you just really can’t prepare or know how you will respond. You can just hope that you have a good support system and dig down deep to keep moving forward best you can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-like-you-handle-a-chronicfatal-illness#post-2919602 Thu, 15 Oct 2020 15:05:41 +0000 Chuckles 2919602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think we've talked about this before, but I wanted to share again that I used to be someone who would replay possible, future situations in my head a lot (I still do it :wink: , but I'm trying hard not to) because I thought that it would prepare me to deal with whatever bad outcome there would be. And then a therapist told me that I was basically traumatizing my brain every time I pictured some horrible scenario. It helped me to reframe my behavior/thoughts from something that I thought was relatively healthy to something that was very unhealthy. I still have some intrusive thoughts and picturing negative outcomes, but I try really hard to manage them and see them for the unhealthy patterns that they are. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-like-you-handle-a-chronicfatal-illness#post-2919600 Thu, 15 Oct 2020 14:18:56 +0000 Bluemasonjar 2919600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As someone who has lived through this, there is no way to know how you will react to tragic news about your child until it happens. I screamed, cried and broke down then picked myself up and dealt with the situation the best I could and leaned on my husband and family for support.</p> <p>As for continuing on, @jennlin821 said it best. You just keep pushing on and focus on caring for your child and being the best possible advocate. </p> <p>I'm sorry you had a scare but try to focus on the positive outcome. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-like-you-handle-a-chronicfatal-illness#post-2919594 Thu, 15 Oct 2020 11:24:26 +0000 jennlin821 2919594@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I think there are a few things to your question. First you are reacting to the panic you felt yesterday and you want to protect yourself from feeling like that again. Second you want a concrete set of steps on how to feel or think if something catastrophic happened. </p> <p>Both of these things are impossible! </p> <p>But hopefully here is some help. There is no way to not think of worst case scenarios and feel terrified when our children are sick/injured. But it does help to put it into perspective. Do you remember the first time your child got sick? The first time your new baby had a fever and you as a parent couldn't do anything to make the sickness better other than time and snuggles. You felt helpless, like a bad parent, like you were failing your child, you were scared that it was something worse, unsure of when to call the doctor, needing answers but not getting any. But hour by hour you got through it, and 2 weeks later your baby was back to normal. </p> <p>You just went through life because life doesn't stop. You continued on to the next diaper change, next feeding, next nap, next shower, next day of work. That is what you would do if something catastrophic happened too. </p> <p>What was the biggest life change you've ever had? Was is bringing home a baby? Everything you did in your life before that day is different. Overnight your life changed - But your body and mind adjusted. Before you could sleep in, eat pizza for a month straight, and be totally spontaneous - after bringing baby home you couldn't do any of those things and you have a huge additional responsibility of keeping a helpless infant alive. But you did it, and you didn't really think about how different it is to buy baby food a long with your groceries, because it actually isn't all that different. </p> <p>So if your child/you/spouse/family member has something life-altering, your life will alter. But you will handle it like every other life change - with tears, sleeplessness, internet rabbitholes. But you will also still have to continue life through the next shower, meal, workday, doctor appointment - and you will. </p> <p>It sounds as though you may be having some pretty bad anxiety. If you don't already have someone to talk to, please call your PCP. We are all living through intense times right now, and could use all the help we can get. Perhaps some anxiety medication, or a therapist referral can help you out. If not, HelloBee is here to be a sounding board!</p> <p> :heart: :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-like-you-handle-a-chronicfatal-illness#post-2919580 Thu, 15 Oct 2020 07:54:44 +0000 Lahela017 2919580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with PP. It is not something I think about. Obviously I really feel for those in that situation, but I try not to focus on what-ifs for my own family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-like-you-handle-a-chronicfatal-illness#post-2919574 Thu, 15 Oct 2020 04:12:48 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2919574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I honestly don't think anything can prepare you for that level of tragedy. Preparing for it would probably only bring on depression that would conflict with enjoying your precious time together now. Just my thoughts on it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-like-you-handle-a-chronicfatal-illness#post-2919571 Wed, 14 Oct 2020 20:59:56 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2919571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had a scare with my daughter today. Her heart rate was quite elevated and they had to run an EKG. After a lot of waiting, Googling and panicking, we found out that the EKG was normal. But, I started to wonder how I would behave, function, LIVE if something life-threatening really was happening to one of my kids. How could I get through the day-to-day? How could I even get out of bed. Just wondering how you think you’d handle it. Or, if you have any tips for preparing for the worst, just in case it ever happens. </p>