https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 20:10:36 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2174984 Mon, 11 May 2015 22:37:27 +0000 sarac 2174984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I would really put my foot down and tell him that you're the one going through major abdominal surgery, and that you will receive visitors when you feel comfortable. The next day at the soonest, I'd say. </p> <p>That being said, I had a long, hellish induction. It was just awful, truly awful. My daughter was finally born at 2 in the morning, and a few hours later, I was on such a high that I happily gathered all my family in the room and just talked their ears off about how it had all been. So, I would personally put my foot down about how it was MY decision, but leave room to just see how you feel. I'd probably say 'we'll call when the baby is born, and we'll probably feel up to visitors the next day, but we'll have to see'. </p> <p>Maybe find some good stories from women about how they felt awful immediately post section to show your husband that it isn't always awesome for the mother. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2174967 Mon, 11 May 2015 22:06:28 +0000 SweetiePie 2174967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coffee-lover: I saw this in my FB feed and immediately thought of you!</p> <p><a href="http://www.popsugar.com/moms/Visitors-Hospital-After-Birth-37453456" rel="nofollow">http://www.popsugar.com/moms/Visitors-Hospital-After-Birth-37453456</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2170796 Thu, 07 May 2015 14:00:15 +0000 Coffee-lover 2170796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: Lol, im cracking up! Your right, im sure my husband would not be insisting on me having visitors if I had a random surgery. I may just have to tell him this tonight. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2170734 Thu, 07 May 2015 13:26:58 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2170734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catomd00: I totally agree!</p> <p> @Coffee-lover: I was hoping you could use the visiting hours as your excuse. I would just let him know that you don't want to set a time. I'd remind him that you're having major abdominal surgery, and you're not really sure how you'll feel afterwards. This is your one time that you get to be a family of 3 for the first few hours of your LO's life, and he's not the one who is giving birth. Yes...it is his baby too, but he needs to compromise a little. I think having his parents come the next morning is more than a reasonable ask by you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2170722 Thu, 07 May 2015 13:19:41 +0000 SweetiePie 2170722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catomd00: exactly. Sure it is your husband's baby, but you're also a patient. If you had just had another kind of surgery that didn't involve a baby it would be pretty ridiculous for your husband to insist that you have some visitors. I know it's not exactly the same, but I do think that The way you, the patient, feels after surgery should play a pretty big role. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2170686 Thu, 07 May 2015 12:54:32 +0000 catomd00 2170686@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's your husbands baby, too but ultimately you are the patient and get to decide. I think it's a little ridiculous your husband needs to set a time. They are local, you can call when you are ready. Tell the nurses your wishes and they will be the bad guy and turn unwanted visitors away for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2170678 Thu, 07 May 2015 12:49:00 +0000 Coffee-lover 2170678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for all the feedback. Both sets of are local, about a 30 minute drive away. My parents have already offered to come the next day, or even wait until we go home to meet the baby. His parents keep asking what time they can come. I suggested seeing how it goes and my husband keeps saying that we can pick a time so there is a plan and we can call everyone if something changes or I dont feel up to it. I think I am justgoing to stick with it and tell my husband we can call people when we are ready for visitors. Everyone is making me feel better, and like I am not that ridicoulous afterall. </p> <p>@SweetiePie: There are large private rooms at this hospital, so they do not have a lounge or meeting area at this hospital. The closest thing they have to a nursery is a area in the nursing station that they can temporarily watch 2 babies if the mom needs to shower and does not have a support person to watch the baby in her room for her. The babies room in the whole time, and if they are sick they go to the NICU. My husband suggested that he can just bring the baby in the hallway outside of our room and his parents can meet the baby in the hallway. That seems a little awkward. I would feel bad for making them stand in the hallway, and im sure the nurses may not be happy about the traffic jam in the hallway. </p> <p>@twodoghouse: Thats exactly what im worried about, family coming in and just grabbing the baby and me missing out on bonding time.</p> <p>@2PeasinaPod: I wish the hospital had a visiting policy, but they let people in 24 hours a day! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2170158 Thu, 07 May 2015 09:00:47 +0000 Mae 2170158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't know I was going to have a c section, but I asked for no visitors except my parents regardless at the hospital (if inlaws had been local I would have let them come, but them coming would have meant overnight stays and I didn't want to deal with that). I ended up with a c section and did not have any visitors except my parents and one aunt who came without asking. </p> <p>In terms of how I felt though, I honestly felt pretty fine within about 2 hours? And I had an induction, 18 hours of labor going through overnight, and an emergency c section. I had some adrenaline going and never even slept until the following night when I got like an hour or two. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2170141 Thu, 07 May 2015 08:54:59 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2170141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a fever when I went in for my emergency C-section that landed LO in the NICU. He was born around 2:30pm. By the time they resuscitated him, took him to the NICU, closed me up and wheeled me to recovery, it was 4pm. DH went to see him around 5pm for an hour and both families were in my room by 6pm. I spent a total of 10 seconds with him giving him a kiss before they took him to the NICU. </p> <p>I felt fine by the time the visitors got there, but I was pretty upset that they spent more time with my baby than I did. They finally were able to wheel my bed into the NICU for me to spend some time with him, but it was definitely hard being away from him.</p> <p>One thing you might want to check on is your hospital's visiting hours policy. Our hospital doors lock at 8pm. If you're in the hospital prior to that, you can stay, but if you don't come in by 8pm, you're out of luck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2170125 Thu, 07 May 2015 08:50:23 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2170125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had an emergency c section at 1am and saw my parents at three am. They were at the hospital while I labored and once the section was decided they stayed.<br /> For my schedule section they stayed with dd until I was in recovery. We ended up bumping into each other in the hall on the way to my room.<br /> I didn't have any problem having visitors early on. They were all helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2170105 Thu, 07 May 2015 08:45:55 +0000 autumnlove 2170105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>1.5 after LO 1. My MIL, SIL and BIL came about 2 or 3 hours after LO 2 was born but I had complications so they only saw the baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2170094 Thu, 07 May 2015 08:43:50 +0000 My Only Sunshine 2170094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a scheduled c-section too and I'm a private person like you are. I would let them come at 7, but for just a short visit. Like 20 or 30 minutes. See the baby, give some grandparent smooches, take a few pictures, then get out. I thought it was so special and sweet to see our parents meet our daughter the day she was born, and I would have regretted not letting them come.</p> <p>But I did NOT want them hanging out in my hospital room just chit-chatting a couple hours after I came out of major surgery. Honestly, once I took a shower and put on my own clothes the next day, I felt much more up to having visitors for longer than 20 minutes. But even then, we didn't let people stay very long. Nursing is a great excuse. They need to eat ALL the time, and you can just say "Oh, baby needs to eat, we need our privacy!" and shoo them all out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2170089 Thu, 07 May 2015 08:41:46 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2170089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you're not close with your family, do you definitely think they're planning to come to the hospital? I guess if your husband wants them to, they should but I'd say it should be the next day. I had my surgery around 5 am and I think allowed our families to come around 12 or 1 but I almost vomited in front of my parents and sisters. We're close so it was fine but I felt awful and it was comforting to me to have family. I wouldn't want to feel pressure of visitors I'm not that close with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2170016 Thu, 07 May 2015 08:14:18 +0000 twodoghouse 2170016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our immediate families were waiting at the hospital (they were supposed to be waiting at home! But I had been induced and they hadn't heard from me for a couple hours so they just came to the hospital). I went to recovery for one hour (was separated from DH and babies), then got an hour with the babies, then our families came in. I wish we'd had more time to ourselves. I was very very drugged up (shouldn't be an issue with your planned C!) and didn't know what was going on. I'm actually still a little sad about the way everything went that day still at 1 year PP. That hour was the only time DH, the babies, and I were all together by ourselves. Ever since then they've been "community property" if you know what I mean. Once the families came in, the babies were being held by grandparents almost constantly except to nurse. I wish I'd been more lucid and be able to remember that Brief time together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2170014 Thu, 07 May 2015 08:14:06 +0000 SweetiePie 2170014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: Amen! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2170013 Thu, 07 May 2015 08:13:47 +0000 SweetiePie 2170013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm also noticing that most who had scheduled said they felt fine and emergency/unplanned were the ones that felt like crap (prob because of laboring and pushing beforehand). So maybe you'll be ok?<br /> But it's not just about how you feel physically, it is also a privacy issue. I had planned to not let people in till the next day even if I did deliver vaginally and uneventfully. That's just the way I am. So just do what is best for you.<br /> I will say my husband was like yours, beforehand he felt it was wrong to make people wait. I think they are proud and excited papas and can't envision what we will go through and think it's no big deal. After my husband saw what labor was like and the pushing and then the c section he was shell shocked and said it was WAY more intense than he expected and wouldn't have dreamed having his parents waltz in after that. So, there's that :-) But again, unplanned, so... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2170011 Thu, 07 May 2015 08:11:47 +0000 Truth Bombs 2170011@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I were in your shoes I would wait to have everyone come the next day. I will never understand people's insistence on meeting the baby RIGHT AWAY. Listen folks, a two day old baby is exactly the same as a one day old baby. You aren't missing anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2169995 Thu, 07 May 2015 08:06:30 +0000 SweetiePie 2169995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was completely out of commission for a while after my c section. Mine wasn't planned and it didn't happen till almost 8pm so it was easy to not see people after. My mom was in from out of town and we are very close so I did have her come to recovery. My husband was pretty upset from the whole experience so it was good for him to have someone to talk to. Also, our son went steaight to the nicu so I wanted my mom to be my proxy :-) Not for decisions but I wanted someone from my family to go see him for me.<br /> I believe my inlaws came early the next morning to see the baby in the nicu, but I didn't want to see anyone except my mom and husband until days later. I finally got to be with my son 3 days after he was born and by then I was ready for short visits. </p> <p>My opinion based on my experience - you never know how it's going to go or how you will feel until after. I would just explain to your husband that a c section IS major surgery (and yes I was vomiting, loopy and in pain) and on top of that it's highly emotional (I was also sobbing a lot, but maybe it was because I didn't get to hold him). And all of the points you made about nurses in and out, catheter, etc are valid! You don't have to be comfortable with visitors while your pee bag is being emptied! Plus not sure if you'll be attempting to breastfeed - it's stressful! It's just not a good idea to have people waiting to beat down the door at that time.<br /> I would ask for them to wait until the morning (this is TOTALLY acceptable, c-section or not, and I think your husband will understand once he sees all you go through. People tend to think that a c section is no big deal since they happen all the time, but it really is!)<br /> OR is there a lounge for visitors where he could visit with them and the baby without you? I don't mean the main waiting area. At the hospitals here since rooms are so small and are often shared with another new mom, they also have little rooms with a couch and some chairs so that families can visit in a more comfortable and private setting. If you're comfortable with that, of course.<br /> OR, I don't know how this works since we were in the nicu, but could they first go by the nursery that night just to SEE the baby while you recover and then the next morning visit with you and baby and actually hold him/her?</p> <p>Not sure if any of this is feasible, but trying to think of ways to keep you and husband both happy. Though if you can't, it's WAY more important to keep you happy at that time! I don't understand people who want to bombard a new mom and baby immediately. Especially moms and MILs - don't they remember what it was like??? But, I'm private like you :-) Maybe we're the weirdos :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2169976 Thu, 07 May 2015 07:55:55 +0000 charlotte 2169976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was in labor all night, c section at 8am, in laws came at like...11? Whenever I first got to my room. I would have liked more time alone to be honest. I think part of that feeling is from the pain meds I was on from the in- labor portion. I felt out of it and couldn't get out of bed until the next day. We had people step out so they could check my bleeding and catheter. As a private person, it was not my favorite day. </p> <p>this time around I'm totally waiting until the next day for visitors! I don't think you're being unreasonable at all to wait until the next day. One day old babies are just as cute as brand new babies and you are having a major surgery! Maybe your husband could tell his family something like "her doctor said we should tell family the next day would be better" and offer to let them come bright and early on day 2. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2169968 Thu, 07 May 2015 07:53:26 +0000 beesknees 2169968@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>immediately after. Check with your hospitals procedure. After my first non elective c-section, I was wheeled into an observation room with a nurse for about 30min-60min? then moved into my room where my family was waiting- the baby was being monitored in another room. The second time it was elective- the hospital had VASTLY improved policies. I got the baby skin to skin during the c-section and got to keep him- I was wheeled into recovery room right after and my family was there waiting. The medical staff left us all alone for a long while, then after about an hour or two it was time for them to look over baby and me. </p> <p>I felt totally fine after both- I mean I wasn't up doing a jig, but nothing too personal was going on that the family I loved and felt comfortable wouldn't be welcome. It was nice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2169964 Thu, 07 May 2015 07:49:54 +0000 ktdid23 2169964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt fine after my scheduled c-section. Recovery after surgery went well; my son was born at 8:08am and we had our first visitors around noon. </p> <p>This experience was MUCH different than after my first emergency c-section. I did feel horrible and out of it after that one... But I had been in labor and then pushed for 4 hrs before surgery, so that may have contributed to me feeling poorly. The scheduled c-section was a breeze compared to that :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2169916 Thu, 07 May 2015 07:13:06 +0000 Mamaof2 2169916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not long - </p> <p>Maybe 2 hours?</p> <p>If you aren't big on visitors why not let them come but set a time limit - like 1 hour, and then have the nurse tell them they have to leave </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2169911 Thu, 07 May 2015 07:08:16 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 2169911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both of my surgeries were scheduled &amp; both kids were born by 12pm. </p> <p>I was in recovery for about an hour with my first, but close to five hours with my second. I had a problem with anesthesia the second time around. </p> <p>I felt great, though, and we welcomed visitors the same day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2169904 Thu, 07 May 2015 07:02:02 +0000 yoursilverlining 2169904@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't feel gross or sick after my c-section. It was scheduled for the morning, but ended up getting pushed back to after 5pm, so there is always a chance that the timeline will be totally outside of your control. My parents were at the hospital all day, and my mil came (flew in) the next morning. My aunt and uncle, my brother and several friends came by the day after. I'm a private person too, but understand how excited everyone was to see the baby, and I felt fine physically. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2169883 Thu, 07 May 2015 06:34:50 +0000 MrsBananaGrabber 2169883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm worried about this too. My husband and I are fairly private people and will want bonding time, and my family has serious boundary issues and is super intrusive. It looks like I'll most likely have a c-section, and I'll likely not even tell them when it's scheduled- just call them a few hours after it happens, when we know we're ready for them to swarm (because even if we say "Don't show up until X:XX," they'll come right away). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2169843 Thu, 07 May 2015 05:45:49 +0000 Dandelion 2169843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My hospital has a mandatory 1 hr bonding/nursing time after delivery wuth no guests. Afterwards, my family came but I had them leave (actually my nurse did) after a bit. But, they live close and could come back whenever. The next day I was dying for visitors cause I was going stir crazy to go home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2169834 Thu, 07 May 2015 05:34:25 +0000 ValentineMommy 2169834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worried about this same thing, but my c-sec was at least scheduled for the morning.</p> <p>I am very, super close with my parents, and knew I wanted them right away, so they were there waiting for whenever I got settled into my room. As for my in-laws, we are not close at all, and I was nervous as to how my body would react to the c-sec and meds. DH had conveyed this to them so they knew, and asked if they would come the next day. They were NOT happy about it.</p> <p>Turns out I felt fine afterwards. My c-sec was scheduled for 8:30, though I was wheeled in the OR at around 8:45am. DS was born at 9:26am and we were in recovery by 10am. My parents met him before 11am. Around noon, I told DH I felt fine and his parents could come that day, as well (they are all local to the hospital). So, it turned out not to be an issue.</p> <p>Is your/his family local? I think that would make a big difference...you could call last minute and say you're feeling fine (or not feeling well) and let them know when to come). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-you-wait-before-allowing-visitors-with-a-scheduled-csection#post-2169796 Thu, 07 May 2015 02:04:13 +0000 Coffee-lover 2169796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry this is so long, the short version is at the bottom. I am having a scheduled C section, and am wondering what everyone did as far as when you allowed visitors to come. I am not close with my immediate family, and only talk to or see the inlaws once or twice a year (even less close). </p> <p>My surgery is scheduled for mid day, and I have been told by time I get outof the recovery room and into postpartum and get all the assessments done it may be around 5 pm. I for sure want a couple hours to ourselves to settle in and bond as a family, so that would put the earliest time for visitors to come around 7pm. </p> <p>It just hit me today, 7 seems kind of late, and im sure I will be exausted, in pain, and probably throwing up from the pain meds (that usually happens to me after surgery). I am a very private person, and am not comfortable being around anyone if im feeling sick, plus I will have a urinary catheter in and im sure nurses will be in and out of the room.</p> <p>I suggested maybe asking family to wait until the next morning to come see us, and I could tell my husband was not happy with this idea. He Said its really important to him for his parents to meet our baby asap, but did say it was my body and my decision. I feel bad because its his baby too, and he should have a say in it.</p> <p>I am worried that I am going to be so out of it from the pain meds for the first few hours that I am not really even going to be able to bond with her, and right as I am starting to feel better family will come in and get in the way.</p> <p>Short version: How long did you feel gross and sick for after the csection, and when did you allow visitors if you were private people? </p>