https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 12:53:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber/page/2#post-2891215 Tue, 16 Jul 2019 06:16:07 +0000 SweetiePie 2891215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: If it was within, I’d say, a week of extinction CIO I might say that. But you’ve done the sleep training, the foundation is there, he is officially sleep trained. :-) So now occasional wake ups or regressions will happen and you just need to roll with them. They suck and can feel like setbacks but are pretty unavoidable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber/page/2#post-2891213 Tue, 16 Jul 2019 05:42:27 +0000 pachamama 2891213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: I thought for sure you'd say DO NOT GO INTO THAT ROOM NO MATTER WHAT lol! I was a little scared. But thanks, your and @bhbee: @lindseykaye: 's advice made me feel so so much better. I thought I couldn't check on him but at 3 weeks I guess he has a decent foundation right? And there will be blips. It was just that the first few days of CIO were so so traumatic, they kind of scarred me and I don't want to "dishonor" what he learned.<br /> Last night he went down awake (smiling and giggling bc he is such a love), did not cry himself to sleep initially for the 1st time, and did not cry or wake up for 12 hours. What the heck. I can't figure him out. But I'll take it!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber/page/2#post-2891180 Mon, 15 Jul 2019 16:12:13 +0000 SweetiePie 2891180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: ditto to every single word @lindseykaye: said! Literally would have written the same thing.<br /> You are not a failure. Sleep training was not a failure. You’re doing GREAT and some occasional wake ups will happen even for the most amazing post-CIO sleepers.<br /> When he wakes up wait a few mins. Always. That way he has a chance to settle himself. If he doesn’t you can go in and assess. No lights. No talking. No eye contact. Boring robot mom. Pickup and rock for a min. Put back down and walk out, even if he started crying again. Repeat if necessary but I’ve found that usually going in once does the trick.<br /> You just don’t want to go back and feed since that stopped. Or rock to sleep. Try to stick to the good sleep habits you’ve established as much as possible. Things happen and even if you do cave one night remember it takes 3 nights to create a bad habit. So the next morning just say to yourself “last night sucked. I caved because I’m human. Today is a new day and tonight is a new night”. </p> <p>You know I’m nuts about this stuff and mine has been sleep trained since 4/5 months. He’s 17 months tomorrow and the last 2 weeks he’s been waking 1-2x per night a few nights a week. I know that there is a regression at 18 months and he’s also teething (he has the bulge under the gum and the other side already broke through). So I do what I have to do and know that it’s a phase and as long as my overarching message is “here’s your crib. You sleep here, not on me. You sleep at 12pm for nap and 6pm for bedtime. You start your day at 7am and anything before that, even 6:30am is considered a night waking. I don’t rock you to sleep. I don’t feed you at night. I love you and I’ll reassure you that I’m here, but you need to sleep on your own”. </p> <p>Promise that unless the wheels totally fall off and you go back to answering every fuss and feeding and rocking to sleep on the reg, you’ll be fine. </p> <p>I also advise to read ahead a month or two either wonder weeks or Dr Weissbluth’s book so that you always know what is in store. Sleep regressions do happen and can be maddening, but expecting them and being mentally prepared really helps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber/page/2#post-2891177 Mon, 15 Jul 2019 15:34:08 +0000 bhbee 2891177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: I agree not a fail! So we trained 4 months ago since my baby is a little older and she mostly sleeps through, but fairly often not. I do ignore up to a point, mostly because I am lazy/tired (especially middle of the night), but will go in if it goes much past 10 minutes, especially if she is not just crying but screeching. (She is a loud crier also.) To me, if they sleep well the majority of the time, a wakeup (or several) that is out of character means something is wrong - maybe even just they need mama right then, maybe teeth, who knows. Of course there are many small wakeups that can be ignored, at least for us - for this baby I would consider 10 minutes of crying in character and something I leave alone. Basically I go with my gut. And if you continue to do the “right” things most of the time you’ll keep your overall results I believe. You are doing a good job :happy: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber/page/2#post-2891176 Mon, 15 Jul 2019 14:58:04 +0000 lindseykaye 2891176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: I think that as long as you're continuing with what you've been working on most of the time, and you sooth occasionally for the situations that you described above it will be ok. I have no guarantees, but really don't think you'll undo everything. Now if you start to respond to every single cry and stop putting him down awake to sleep then yeah - you're likely to build up the same habits as before but it doesn't sound like that's what you're doing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber/page/2#post-2891171 Mon, 15 Jul 2019 14:16:22 +0000 pachamama 2891171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lindseykaye: Thanks :-) I feel like this was a failure... idk... and he's always crying nNever fussing, never has. Full on crying, so loud. It's excruciating. Checks make him escalate. You don't think I'm going to dismantle all the "work" the poor guy did the past 3 weeks to fall asleep on his own? He never EVER could fall asleep independently before, and he definitely can now, but people have scared me into thinking if i soothe him, I will ruin the training. :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber/page/2#post-2891156 Mon, 15 Jul 2019 13:14:41 +0000 lindseykaye 2891156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: I think you're doing great! And the fact that most nights are smooth means it's working. There are so many factors that contribute to a good night's sleep so I don't think you can pinpoint one thing or another that contribute to the sometimes waking.</p> <p>I think that going in here and there, even once a night, is a big improvement over where you started, and I don't think that will undo any of the good habits and self-soothing you've helped your little one to build during this process. </p> <p>Hang in there! You're doing great.</p> <p>My 7 month old is very similar but we go in plenty overnight for various reasons. If she is really CRYING vs. fussing, we go in and help settle her with a warm hand on her belly for a moment or just help her find her binky and put that in. It's all of 2 minutes and then she continues to sleep for several hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber/page/2#post-2891114 Mon, 15 Jul 2019 10:26:40 +0000 pachamama 2891114@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Update and advice needed.<br /> So it's mostly going well but some things I'm really concerned about. Every night he puts himself to sleep pretty easily, crying for under 10 minutes. Many nights he will sleep 12 hours straight... but often he wakes up and cries anywhere from 5 to 40 minutes. Last night (3 weeks after starting extinction CIO) was horrible- he was up 11, 12 and 1 and seem to be in pain. Could not stop wailing. Maybe he's teething? (6 months old.) So I gave him Tylenol, soothed him and he immediately fell asleep pretty much know his own in crib. I know I probably shouldn't have gone in but it was unusual for him to cry like that. Maybe he wasn't ready for all this? I'm racked with guilt and anxiety over it and I'm not sure I did the right thing.<br /> Tldr: 3 weeks into sleep training, my 6 month old is still waking up and crying sometimes for a long time. He does fall back asleep and it's usually once a night. I never go into soothe him or nurse and it's really agonizing for me and probably him.<br /> .<br /> What do I do if he cries for more than 30 mins? I feel like the books make it sound like it should just work and he shouldn't wake up after CIO 3-4 nights. Maybe I'm missing something 😔😔 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber/page/2#post-2890009 Thu, 04 Jul 2019 00:00:08 +0000 Eebolleh 2890009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: this is so wonderful to hear. It seriously helps to have a plan. I can’t believe you signed up for a triathlon! But seriously once you get sleep, you feel like a new person! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber/page/2#post-2889644 Mon, 01 Jul 2019 13:52:49 +0000 pachamama 2889644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: My guy hated the crib from day 1, prob bc he was on his back. Something I feel so bad about is I think we could have avoided all this crying and, frankly, torture if I had put him on his tummy. :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber/page/2#post-2889625 Mon, 01 Jul 2019 12:28:15 +0000 periwinklebee 2889625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Glad it's working! I don't think my LO would sleep in the crib at all until he learned to roll partially to his side from his back. To this day, he's still a side sleeper... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber/page/2#post-2889614 Mon, 01 Jul 2019 11:52:42 +0000 JJ2626 2889614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Amazing, congrats! So glad you stuck with it. My LO also slept much better on her stomach starinf around 5 or 6 months. Our ped said it was totally safe if she was getting there on her own. She is a great sleeper still at 16 mos and is almost always on her stomach. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber#post-2889535 Sun, 30 Jun 2019 12:52:15 +0000 pachamama 2889535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Girls, thank you all so much again!<br /> Things are going very well, I'm hesitant to even write and jinx it. But basically he's been fussing a little bit and falling asleep on his own....then sleeping 11-12 hours!!!! the other night he woke up two hours after he fell asleep and did cry for an hour but in a way it was a good thing because it reinforced what we were doing.<br /> He did get in a *funny* little habit of flipping onto his back so we would come in and roll him over🤣 but my husband waited longer and longer every check and eventually he learned to stay on his tummy! What a smart little turd! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber#post-2889373 Fri, 28 Jun 2019 13:04:25 +0000 bhbee 2889373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: well, I’m worse than you because I let my second sleep on his tummy 24/7 before he could roll ... it was what worked, and there are many risk factors so that was the one I chose to be ok with. And then thankfully he did roll early, but I still had to train him later!<br /> I wouldn’t even blame your slacker :silly: for the bottle - that just seems to work for a lot of kids. I have an oversupply and my little chubby #3 would still down 8-10oz every day before bedtime! I’m so glad it’s going well and I hope it all keeps up - I bet it will! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber#post-2889372 Fri, 28 Jun 2019 13:02:23 +0000 lindseykaye 2889372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: Oh man SO HAPPY FOR YOU! I am so so glad to read this update and hear about your great nights of baby sleep. It really is a magical change when you can sleep again.</p> <p>My first was a tummy sleeper really early because she rolled quickly and would flip herself immediately upon laying her down. That didn't help her sleep though, so our sleep training was months after her starting to tummy sleep. Second baby is a great sleeper and still hasn't rolled back to tummy at 6.5 mo. Babies gotta baby how they like - and yours likes to tummy sleep :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber#post-2889369 Fri, 28 Jun 2019 12:25:33 +0000 SweetiePie 2889369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: hahaha oh man I hope he didn’t take the part about “the least he could do” too personally 😂😂😂 I would have said that about any dad. </p> <p>I’m so glad that you’re feeling better physically, mentally, emotionally. </p> <p>And I think tummy sleep during naps is nbd at all. To me it’s the same as “well I only let them sleep in the RNP during naps but never overnight” which we hear on this site a lot.<br /> You aren’t neglecting or beating up a baby and plenty of peds suggest reflux babies sleep on their tummy. You should have zero guilt. We all take calculated “risks” every day (and I use the word risks very loosely). Travel might be a little wonky for like a day or two but try to replicate as much as possible when you travel. Try to stick to routine and schedule even if it means missing out on some things. This is a very short phase of life. Take a sound machine and if you blackout his room take black garbage bags and packing tape with you so the room is also dark where you stay. Try not to give in to sleep crutches as much as you can. Some things will have to slide but if you generally are consistent it should be fine. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber#post-2889364 Fri, 28 Jun 2019 12:08:26 +0000 pachamama 2889364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: yes I'm thinking my slacker tit might have been a problem at least for hungry pre-bed feeds. It's still early and we travel next week but 🤞<br /> I could always sense he hated being on his back. Confession, he's been napping on his tummy since like 2 months!</p> <p>@SweetiePie: girl. I am a NEW PERSON. my husband was doing the worst shift 8-2am, but the anxiety and embarrassment about it really really got to me. And him! I was able to talk to my husband, read a book, empty the dishwasher etc. I literally signed up for a triathlon! I read your post to my husband aloud and my husband cannot believe how helpful and invested you were 🤣 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber#post-2889324 Fri, 28 Jun 2019 07:25:39 +0000 bhbee 2889324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: YESSSSSSSSSSS</p> <p>I agree let that tummy sleeping happen! And big yes to the tank up bottle. I did it for about 2 months and then was able to drop it once solids were getting eaten better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber#post-2889318 Fri, 28 Jun 2019 06:26:51 +0000 SweetiePie 2889318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>And now how do YOU feel with freedom and 2 full nights of sleep???? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber#post-2889317 Fri, 28 Jun 2019 06:26:22 +0000 SweetiePie 2889317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: That is amazing! If he can roll then don’t sweat it! He just needed to get comfy, that’s so cute 🤗 my younger guy also likes tummy sleep way better and once he figured it out his sleep improved (that was before sleep training).<br /> I also know a nicu nurse who has put all FOUR of her own babies on their stomach for sleep from day 1 🤷🏻‍♀️ No judgement here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber#post-2889316 Fri, 28 Jun 2019 05:21:59 +0000 pachamama 2889316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: @Pollywog: @JJ2626: </p> <p>You guys. Are you ready for this?</p> <p>So after the disastrous first night where we did basically give up, we put him on his stomach that night and he slept the rest of the night without waking even to nurse!<br /> The next evening while I was making dinner he ROLLED TO HIS TUMMY for the first time! 3 times! It was like a sign. So now he rolled both ways with ease so I felt like he could tummy sleep.<br /> Night #2: Gave him an extra 4oz bottle an hour before bed, nursed til he was drowsy (maybe too drowsy), put him on his stomach SLEPT 7-7. Woke at 10pm, fussed, went back to sleep on his own after 3 minutes. Too good to be true?<br /> Night #3: Was prepared for crying b/c night 2 was a fluke I figured. Gave extra 4oz bottle BEFORE bed, put him in the crib fully awake bc I couldn't get him sleepy and I was like fuck this. Cried for 15 minutes then flipped onto his back where he wailed for 15 minutes My mama instinct told me to flip him onto his tummy. I ninja snuck in quickly (no soothing, no pick ups, nothing) and he fell asleep totally on his own after 1 minute.<br /> Both nights he never woke to nurse. Never really cried or fussed throughout the night. Naps have been much better. He is his usual delightful, happy, easy self. </p> <p>So I think CIO worked? I don't love that he's on his tummy but it seems to be the only way he will sleep (like me). Also I have a feeling he was hungry (I have an almost non-functioning right boob and I'm wondering if it's a problem...) and my DH used to give him a bottle around 10. Front loading him with a bottle seemed to help. But most importantly, we didn't nurse or soothe or rock or go in and he fell asleep and stayed asleep for 12 hours! </p> <p>I can't thank you all for your advice. I read everything you all wrote. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber#post-2889207 Thu, 27 Jun 2019 06:02:01 +0000 SweetiePie 2889207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, the first night of 3.5 hours was probably on and off. Meaning even taking 5 seconds break between cries? I don’t think it’s physically possible to cry for 3.5 hours nonstop. If he was taking breaks even 5, 10, 30 seconds then that really isn’t that bad. Some babies just do that the first night of cio. Cry for 5 mins. Break for 30 seconds. On and on. Then sleep for 20 mins. Cry for 3 mins. Rest for 10 seconds. Cry for 10 mins. Sleep for 5 mins. And so on.<br /> Yes it sucks but that’s what my first did and it’s in the realm of normal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber#post-2889206 Thu, 27 Jun 2019 05:59:20 +0000 SweetiePie 2889206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: Personally I don’t think 3.5 hours is that bad. I mean it sucks. But it’s not abnormal.<br /> My first son cried literally on and off all night the first night we sleep trained. I just turned the sound off of the monitor, shut my door and tried to sleep as much as I could. That’s what extinction is anyway. That next morning he was fine. Was just has happy as always when I went to get him.<br /> 2nd night it was like 30 mins then slept all night.<br /> 3rd night was like 5 mins then slept all night.<br /> 4th night was nothing. Slept 7-7. And so did I. And it was amazing. </p> <p>CIO sucks. No one that has done or believed in CIO thinks it’s pleasurable. We don’t enjoy the sound of babies crying. But I promise it’s worse for you than it is for him.<br /> And the WORST thing you can do is be inconsistent. Don’t give up after 3.5 hours. Don’t start giving bottles all willy nilly at night so he’ll go back to sleep. If you aren’t trying to sleep train for night wakings (which personally I think you should because going in sometimes for feeds but not others can be confusing, but not everyone is ready for that) give bottles only at specified times. So if pre-CIO bottles were 11pm and 3am, don’t give a bottle at any other time. Until you’re ready to night train, then you can move them later but never earlier. </p> <p>He is not failing at CIO. Some babies cry more than others. But it will work for all babies if you are consistent and just. Don’t. Go. In. Period.<br /> My pediatrician assured me no baby has ever died from crying.<br /> TURN OFF THE MONITOR AND GET EAR PLUGS. Seriously. If DH can handle the crying better let him take the monitor to another room. You cooked the kid for +/-40 weeks, gave birth, etc. the least he can do is listen to the kid cry for a few nights.<br /> And I promise it doesn’t matter how long he cries night 1, 2, etc you will go in and he will have the biggest smile and it’ll be like the night of crying never even happened. You just HAVE to stick to it. If you can’t then don’t even bother. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber#post-2889186 Wed, 26 Jun 2019 20:49:47 +0000 PurplePumps 2889186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our first night was the worst by far. I made the mistake of putting him down pretty much asleep, and he did he usual 35m nap sleep and woke up. Cried 15m, slept 15m, cried 45m, slept 30m, cried 30m, slept/stopped for 5m, cried 25m, finally exhasted himself enough to sleep 1.5 hr, woke up and cried 10m, slept another 1.5hr, cried 35m, slept 2hr cried an hour, slept 1.25hr until it was finally morning. 8 wakings. Second night was 5 wakings with the crying 20-45m each time. Third night was 3 wakings, 25m, 15m, 45m crying. From 4th night on, there was very few times the crying went on for more than 10m - and only if I didn't nurse him (he was used to just nursing to sleep) since I'd decided on 10 and 2 since that's when he always woke to eat, and the other random ones he had to fend for himself. (I know people said this was confusing and made it worse, but I could never stand to hear him cry on). I eventually gave in and just nursed him to sleep usually 3x a night instead of 2x. This went on for about 6 weeks until he self weaned one of the feedings. And it's been about 6 weeks since then and he seems to be self weaning to 1 wake up now. I got all my fingers crossed that this continues! I just couldn't stand the crying so it's been a very slow process for us, but I never minded the wakeups/nursing since he went right back down after. Before this he would wake up every sleep cycle and have a ton of trouble settling, waking and needing help again 5-8m after we left the room 3-4x before the midnight too, and then every 1-2hrs until morning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber#post-2889184 Wed, 26 Jun 2019 20:39:12 +0000 Pollywog 2889184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How's tonight going? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber#post-2889178 Wed, 26 Jun 2019 19:42:35 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2889178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was also going to suggest a sleep consultant if that’s financially possible for you. We were at the point of not knowing what to do and tbh I didn’t want to read all these books and different methods and choose what’s best because I didn’t know. We did the plan set out for us and it held me accountable and took away the guesswork. Highly recommend it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber#post-2889168 Wed, 26 Jun 2019 16:57:15 +0000 JJ2626 2889168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh I’m sorry it’s been so hard! Our max was 45 mins for a couple of nights. But I have heard of 3 plus hours. . Overall it took a week and we didn’t do any checks. I think they make it more difficult for both baby and parent honestly. The key is consistency which I know is hard. Have you considered talking with a sleep consultant? And maybe @sweetiepie will chime in. She is a sleep guru! Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber#post-2889167 Wed, 26 Jun 2019 16:34:15 +0000 pachamama 2889167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrswin: I feel like it's not going to work. Essentially it didn't and we had to hold him last night. Failures. per your recommendation I am getting that books from the library. I think I read it already but need a refresher. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber#post-2889147 Wed, 26 Jun 2019 13:43:30 +0000 brownepiano 2889147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our Max was 1.5 hours and thankfully he finally went to sleep about 10 min before that. When he did go to sleep he slept for several hours before waking up to eat. </p> <p>We waited till about 8 months to do it though because I wanted to make sure it wasn't a growth spurt. He just needed to eat at night for a long time. Around 8 months he was done a growth spurt and started waking up 45 mins after we put him down, like the end of a sleep cycle. He would go down fine for bedtime so we knew he just needed to learn how to go back to sleep on his own. </p> <p>I'm not really clear what sleep associations you are trying to break but or when. I think it helps to break it into small steps and be super consistent. Pick something that you and dh and baby can all handle for at least a week and then do it every single time he wakes up. It might help if you let him sleep the way he wants to sleep. ds2 was sleeping through the night at 12 weeks but I also let him sleep on his belly because that was the only way he would actually sleep. DS 1 didn't sleep through the night till 8 months. Different kids need different things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-did-your-babe-cry-while-cioferber#post-2889144 Wed, 26 Jun 2019 13:31:34 +0000 bhbee 2889144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrswin: @pachamama: I second that book. It got me through doing it with my son. </p>