https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 09:05:25 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2786459 Tue, 14 Nov 2017 21:00:14 +0000 Ina85 2786459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sweetiepie: I hear you lady, everyone says I'm a sleep nazi, don't care, lo gets her sleep and that's what matters to me! I bet they're all so jealous and regretting it when you enjoy that wine :wink: So many people I know (friends, family, extended family) are so blase about their children's sleep, it makes me crazy! I just want to shake them like "what are you doing?! You're the one screwing up their sleep!" But I as well digress! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2786134 Mon, 13 Nov 2017 15:33:26 +0000 cake2017 2786134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: Okay great! I will look for it! I agree sleep is imperative. Per my posts we are trying to sleep train LO once we move. I go back to work after Christmas so i am trying to figure the best schedule for him and us. He is consistent with naps. He takes 3-4 a day. Mostly 4. I still nurse to sleep. He is fighting his crib now but I will work on that once we move as well. I try to play with him in his crib and put him down when he’s asleep. I know he needs to be drowsy but awake but we are going to do that during the training. Hoping he is getting pass the sleep regression as he is turning 5 months in a couple of days. I admire you ladies and you guys have really helped me thus far! Thank you!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2786112 Mon, 13 Nov 2017 14:28:18 +0000 SweetiePie 2786112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ina85: Lol, I’ve also been called sleep nazi by many friends and family members. But guess what? My kid goes to sleep without a fuss and sttn and theirs don’t/didn’t. So mock me if you’d like but I’m the one with the last laugh when we’re all at a beach house and your spending 1-2 hours on bedtime and I’m sitting having my glass of wine and relaxing :silly:<br /> It’s funny that so many people think Sleep isn’t important/it’s optional when it’s actually a necessity - it’s VITAL - for babies and kids. It’s when they grow physically and mentally. It helps them learn during the day. It makes them happy and it makes us happy because they are happy AND we get some precious “me” time. I’ll honestly never understand how it’s not a priority for everyone.<br /> But I digress... :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2786110 Mon, 13 Nov 2017 14:21:51 +0000 SweetiePie 2786110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cake2017: Hi! I just posted a lot about this on @MsBam: other post. You can do there for more detail, but In summary I first watched for sleepy signs and once I felt a consistent pattern developed I was able to watch the clock more than I watched for signs. Still watching for signs but it became consistent enough that I could predict when next nap would be and make plans accordingly (for outings or visitors or to figure out when meals could happen). </p> <p>My son is now 3 so at this stage it is a predictable time vs sleepy signals. He consistently wakes for the day between 7-7:30. Takes a nap at 1:30-4. Bedtime 8pm. He is like clockwork and while I’m sure that some of it is nature (he likes to sleep) I know that the consistency and ease with which he goes down is because of good sleep habits set up early. I’m very regimented and routine myself though, so I know that works for me and may not work for others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2786107 Mon, 13 Nov 2017 14:12:40 +0000 MsBAM 2786107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: The last two nights at bedtime have been no issue so far. He went right to sleep with no fussing. I agree with you, I think I’m going to at least wait a couple weeks to nap train. Hopefully naps do follow suit! As far as visitors yes, I’m going to have to stand my ground more. I hate seeing him tired or fussy when I know what he needs is sleep. </p> <p>@MrsToad: Hopefully naps fall into place in a couple weeks then. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2786093 Mon, 13 Nov 2017 13:22:52 +0000 cake2017 2786093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: How old is your LO? Do you keep the same schedule for baby? Like same time each day for naps and eating????</p> <p>trying to see what will be best because we will be sleep training soon </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2785998 Mon, 13 Nov 2017 09:28:36 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2785998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Probably several weeks. I sleep trained successfully right at 3 months and she got it within a few days of that. However, at that point, I went back to work and she was with her father. He was also watching our 2 year old and wasn't able to coddle her naps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2785946 Sun, 12 Nov 2017 22:22:15 +0000 Ina85 2785946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsBam: I agree with what @Sweetipie said about following babies schedule and stop what you're doing when it's nap time. I've been this way about my daughter's sleep. Just last night my husband told BIL that I'm a sleep nazi because BIL was upset baby was not awake when he came over at 6:45. Sorry love, baby goes to sleep by 6:15-6:30 no matter what. Dh asked before I took her upstairs if she could stay up an hour later to hang out with everyone and I said absolutely not she's never done that before, she'd be such a HOT MESS and we are not dealing with those repercussions just because everyone else wants her awake when they come hang out.<br /> My parents were so difficult before about understanding that we follow her schedule and right now we can't be flexible with it. They finally get it and respect it maybe starting several months ago (dd will be 10 months in a week), when they started to see how well she does and sleeps from our good sleep habits, consistency, and following her sleep schedule. They plan their visits around her nap schedule where as in the past they wanted me to keep her awake for like 3-4 + hours when her max wake times were like 2 hours (no way!) Just because they came to spend time with her.<br /> You just have to be firm with visitors about your baby's sleep. They can plan their visits around his schedule. It's the best thing for him and you as parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2785938 Sun, 12 Nov 2017 21:51:15 +0000 SweetiePie 2785938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsBAM: I didn't technically nap train. I just put him down drowsy but awake from the beginning, so I never had to train to fall asleep on his own.<br /> I did help him connect cycles. When I heard him waking I went in to replace his paci as covertly as possible (i.e. I crouched so he couldn't really see me, didn't talk to him, didn't shush, nothing...just put the paci back in and left). By 3 months or so he was mostly connecting cycles on his own and by 4.5 months for sure I didn't have to do that anymore to help him. He just took 3-4 naps about 1.5-2 hours for the first 3 and maybe a 30-40 min catnap in the evening. </p> <p>It sounds like your concern is falling asleep on his own AND connecting sleep cycles.<br /> The good news is you know he can do it since he's now doing it at bedtime. I would just say no visitors for a few days and see if you can mimic exactly what you're doing at bedtime for naps. Nap routine should be almost identical to bedtime routine (for us it was the exact same minus bath and books - so go into dark room, turn on sound machine, change and swaddle/sleep sack, bottle, burp, down in crib drowsy but awake). You want the sleep cues you give him to be consistent across the board. Its OK if feeding also ends up lining up with naps, but try to separate them a bit...so if he falls asleep while nursing, I would nurse, but then burp and maybe that's when you change diaper and do swaddle/sleep sack, for example. Then rock/pat a little and put him down and do what you've been doing for night time training. </p> <p>FWIW, I would do the above for nap training only after you've had solid nighttime success for maybe 2 weeks? I think you've had improvement, but only one night of going down with zero crying, right? I would wait a couple of weeks, if it were me, because then you know its sticking and you can hope that naps sort of follow suit on their own (because of the whole sleep begets sleep thing). And I would also insist on no visitors during that time so that you can focus on it and not be stressed that they are hearing him cry. Then you can invite them over once you can just throw him in bed without any fussing and have a really pleasant visit. I remember having visitors and saying I had to go put him down for a nap - I'd walk back out less than 5 mins later and everyone was baffled that I didn't have to sit and rock to sleep or hold for the nap or go in over and over. And I could enjoy their company, have a glass of wine, watch a movie, whatever. ITS WORTH IT. </p> <p>Also, I want to stress that it doesn't matter if you have visitors - YOU dictate when the baby goes to sleep. When its time for a baby to sleep it is pretty important to get them down in that sweet spot window, otherwise drowsy but awake is nearly impossible. If you are letting him stay awake and "play" with visitors or just not getting around to putting him down in time, that could be a big reason why you have to feed him to get him to sleep - he might need that extra comfort because he's overtired and wired. My ped gave me the best advice, she said to stop whatever I was doing when its nap time (first watched for sleepy cues and then eventually I was able to figure out how much time awake he could handle so I watched the clock like a hawk). She said I don't care if you're visiting with your grandma or watching the best episode of your favorite TV show and its the last 5 minutes of the finale. You stop what you're doing and get him to bed, period. Yes, my mother in law has cried because I swooped him away for a nap before. Guess what? Tough sh*t :-) She's not the one who will have to deal with the aftermath of a tired baby later, I am. And she's since gushed about what an amazing sleeper he is and she realizes its because I created good habits from the beginning.<br /> You can also preemptively tell visitors that nap time will be at approximately X o'clock so they can visit but expect that you'll have to put the baby down at that time. Have no apologies - its your baby and your house. If you don't set the boundaries early no one will respect boundaries later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2785937 Sun, 12 Nov 2017 21:44:52 +0000 MsBAM 2785937@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Toad: oh ok! How long did it take for her to “get it”? I feel like visitors don’t care if he’s tired. I tell them he’s tired or they notice but they just keep him up (my family specifically!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2785934 Sun, 12 Nov 2017 21:34:11 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2785934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsBAM: I don't think I ever did. I just say she is tired, we nurse for 5-10 minutes, and I put her down. She got naps on her own after sleep training. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2785931 Sun, 12 Nov 2017 21:30:15 +0000 MsBAM 2785931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: okay great good to know!</p> <p>@Mrs. Toad: @SweetiePie: When did you start nap training? I haven’t started yet. I don’t mind nursing to sleep for naps but I want to because I want him to be able to go to sleep when people are over visiting him. When I have visitors he gets tired and I know he’s due for his nap but people just keep playing with him....Right now I feel like I can’t nurse to sleep for naps when I have visitors...At least if he’s nap trained I can just say he’s tired and go put him down without a problem. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2785927 Sun, 12 Nov 2017 21:21:59 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2785927@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I still nurse immediately before naps and bedtime. DD is 9 months old and has been sleep trained for months. She is awake when being put in her crib. The only time she cries now is when she doesn't want to go to bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2785908 Sun, 12 Nov 2017 20:16:33 +0000 SweetiePie 2785908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsBAM: I think that’s fine as long as you’re not nursing to sleep. That’s really what people try to avoid. I bottle fed and it was always the last thing we did, I just didn’t feed him to sleep. When we dropped bottles it was a nonissue because he wasn’t using it as a sleep crutch. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2785905 Sun, 12 Nov 2017 20:05:53 +0000 MsBAM 2785905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ina85: Thank you! Is it okay that nursing is the last part of my bedtime routine if he’s still being put down awake but drowsy? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2785862 Sun, 12 Nov 2017 15:17:41 +0000 Ina85 2785862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsBam: That's awesome, he's doing so well! Things are going very well for you guys yay! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2785802 Sat, 11 Nov 2017 22:42:35 +0000 MsBAM 2785802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Update!!! Day 13 of ST. Put my LO down and not a peep! He went RIGHT to sleep. I’m hoping he keeps this up!!! I couldn’t believe it! And for the last two days one of his naps during the day have been long. Usually he only sleeps for 30min and today he napped for 1h45m! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2784978 Wed, 08 Nov 2017 08:12:19 +0000 MsBAM 2784978@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He slept for eight hours straight last night! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2784948 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 20:49:49 +0000 MsBAM 2784948@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ina85: Thank you! Definitely not easy! I’m hoping this also translates into him self soothing in the middle of the night too (once he doesn’t need MOTNF). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2784947 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 20:48:20 +0000 catlady 2784947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsBAM: That is great! My oldest was like that, and her sleep training went very smoothly. Hope you have good luck too (she's 4 yrs now and never regressed after we sleep trained at 5 months and has been a rock solid sleeper ever since). My little guy also nursed at night but would wake like every hour so I knew he wasn't hungry every time...he was (still is!) much tougher. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2784946 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 20:44:01 +0000 Ina85 2784946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He's doing well, just keep consistent and try to give it a month. Things will improve. I know it's hard to hear your baby cry but you are helping him learn to self soothe, children are resilient! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2784943 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 20:37:45 +0000 MsBAM 2784943@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catlady: Thank you! I’m still BF’ing him at night so that’s why you only see those numbers for bedtime. I think his nighttime sleep is okay right now. He sleeps for 5-7 hours straight for the first part of the night then up every 3 hours. So he’s probably up 2-3X a night and goes back to sleep easily after feedings. I’m hoping he’ll drop a feeding on his own. Oh, and I haven’t started nap training yet and I’m really afraid what that’s going to look like! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2784941 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 20:31:19 +0000 MsBAM 2784941@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: I’m going to stay consistent and hope he catches on soon! Thank you for the advice.</p> <p>@gotkimchi: I just feel bad because his age and wonder if I’m doing emotional damage... but that’s just me overthinking. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2784939 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 20:30:11 +0000 catlady 2784939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hang in there. Those numbers look amazing. We sleep trained our guy 5 months ago and he still wakes in the night and cries for a few minutes occasionally. His extinction burst was awful, there were a couple nights when I almost gave up because there were a few nights when he'd just wail for like 40 min straight, multiple times in the middle of the night (bedtime was never our issue, night wakeups were/are).</p> <p>Btw, you only have one number for each night...does your LO sleep through the whole night afterwards or are you just adding it all up? Because to be honest, my guy probably cried for like 3 hrs total some nights when you added up all the wakeups. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2784937 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 20:24:24 +0000 LCTBQE 2784937@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsBAM: I know, I know :heart: it really seems like your baby is doing pretty great with this, though, from your log. hang in there, you guys will make it out the other side stronger and happier and better-rested! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2784935 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 20:21:10 +0000 gotkimchi 2784935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some kids will complain for 10-15 min at bedtime no matter what! My 3yo will kick the bed and yell I’m not tired! before she passes out. Screaming is the baby equivalent :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2784934 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 20:15:09 +0000 MsBAM 2784934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: Thank you. I guess it just feels like an eternity. Hopefully it passes soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2784933 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 20:13:21 +0000 LCTBQE 2784933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>uh, for us, 23 minutes of hard crying during sleep training was basically a heavenly best-possible-scenario night. I would not call that a disaster by any measure of anything, ever. this looks like your baby is responding phenomenally well. our extinction bursts lasted two nights, and then the third night we'd do much better. I can't remember perfectly but we had several extinction bursts that clustered more in the beginning but lasted for a good 3 months or so. give it a real chance--I would stick with it for a good month--if you give in it's very confusing and unfair to them. keep up the good work! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-does-the-extinction-burst-last#post-2784930 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 20:06:47 +0000 MsBAM 2784930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi all,</p> <p>I just finished night 9 of sleep training tonight on my 5mo and I’m questioning if it’s working and how long the sleep extinction burst should last. I feel so guilty and don’t know how much longer I can do this if things don’t improve. Here are the results so far, please let me know if they look normal. </p> <p>Night 1: 20 mins<br /> Night 2: Less than 30 seconds<br /> Night 3: A few seconds<br /> Night 4: 6 minutes<br /> Night 5: 2 minutes<br /> Night 6: 24 minutes<br /> Night 7: 13 minutes<br /> Night 8: 4 mins<br /> Night 9: 23 minutes of hard crying </p> <p>Tonight (night 9) was a disaster and I’m feeling so guilty and sad right now :( </p>