https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 13 May 2026 03:47:49 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom/page/2#post-1264166 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 21:48:51 +0000 pastemoo 1264166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Erm... immediately and never. I had a hard time bonding with my son for a good while. I'd say his whole infancy was rough for me, and after his first birthday things have been much more fun. But 12 months isn't quite the right answer either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom/page/2#post-1264142 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 21:41:23 +0000 heartonastring 1264142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's complicated!</p> <p>There's no question that I was madly in love with DD from the second she was born. We bonded immediately, for which I am very grateful. The day-to-day of motherhood was a very, very difficult transition for me though. There were so many mom friends who excitedly exclaimed, "Don't you just LOVE motherhood?!" And I would reply, "No, I love K, but I don't love motherhood." And then they would look at me with shocked expressions because that's not something a mom is supposed to say out loud, but I thought it was really important to normalize the struggles of early motherhood.</p> <p>BFing was a struggle for the first 8-9 weeks. I hated how my independence was totally gone. I hated the sleep deprivation. I felt alone and isolated and I dreaded getting up each morning and having to do it all over again. In retrospect, I realize that I think I suffered from a mild case of PPD. At the time I just kept thinking that I loved DD SO much, but that I'd ruined my life by having her. I sobbed and sobbed over those conflicting emotions.</p> <p>Somewhere between 3-4 months it started to get better. And now at 7.5 months I love being a mom. What helped the most was when I a) started talking about how hard it was, and b) surrendered to motherhood and stopped trying to control everything! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom/page/2#post-1264105 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 21:26:07 +0000 delight 1264105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel lucky that I was happy right from the start. I had an "easy" L&amp;D so recovery was fine and felt like I could focus all my attention on getting to know L. I love being a mom so much. I love getting out every day and taking her to the movies, or to the library or to moms groups. She's a great sleeper which I'm sure helps too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom/page/2#post-1264002 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 20:57:37 +0000 Anagram 1264002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: aww. I agree with Sarac. I've definitely had my ups and downs with my LO (really just her sleep... I feel like our other challenges I've been able to handle semi okay) but I haven't experienced a "worst month of my life" since my LO has been here. </p> <p>Knock on wood.... But after going through my dad's long illness and death, I feel like (for me specifically) having a baby is hard like training for a marathon is hard--- but not BAD, if that makes sense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom/page/2#post-1263864 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 20:11:34 +0000 MrsStar 1263864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As soon as I saw her. I was blessed with an easy cruisy baby who had herself on a 4 hour schedule and didn't have reflux or anything so didn't feel like life changed too much - I just had a sidekick all the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom/page/2#post-1263817 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 19:55:54 +0000 MrsF 1263817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: They really are! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom/page/2#post-1263457 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 17:21:59 +0000 sarac 1263457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Similar to other people, I felt extremely happy and at ease from the start. I never doubted in my ability to just figure it out, and that truly helped me to just figure it out. </p> <p>That being said, some parts I have enjoyed more than others. Birth to 5 months were great because she was just my little side kick, and we ran all over the city having a blast. 5 months to 10 were harder, because she wasn't so interested in just hanging out in my moby wrap, but she wasn't even mobile enough to enjoy the toddler room at the museum. Then 10-18 months were another kind of hard, because she wasn't really walking, or not much, and she needed a lot of physical transport, which gave me a terrible back injury. She also got really intensely clingy in this period, and very verbal, and wanted a ton of interaction constantly that was hard for my introverted self. </p> <p>At 18 months, she could walk well and for a ways, she started to play on her own more and to generally do more on her own. At 26 months I'm just enjoying parenting more and more - no more picking her up and carrying her, she entertains herself for long stretches, we can go all over and do fun things really well. Parenting just keeping getting funner and funner over here.</p> <p>@Mae: Yeah, I never experienced any 'worst month of my life' parts, and maybe you won't either! Some people get handed harder babies than others, I think, and some people really get lucky. Being able to relax and enjoy as much as possible really helped me to have fun. And I had a very easy baby - I got very lucky. </p> <p>But as lots of people here have said, if you do find it quite hard, you won't forever! And if you don't find yourself loving it from day one, don't feel like you're abnormal. I never had that instant overpowering love when she was put on my chest - I just thought, huh, squishy. I just knew that I needed a little time to get to know her and to let it grow. And boy, did it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom/page/2#post-1263334 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 16:39:44 +0000 mrsvdv 1263334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As I was giving DS his bedtime bottle tonight and he fell asleep on my arm, I was thinking just how much I love him and how grateful I am that we were gifted this beautiful boy! BUT I didn't feel this way from the start, the first 3 months were really hard on me because I had no idea what I was doing and I felt like a fake mom all the time! I blame sleep deprivation and exhaustion.. DS started STTN a few weeks ago (literally the day before I had to go back to work) and that's when it all came together (or I had to get my act together because of work)! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom/page/2#post-1263329 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 16:38:06 +0000 swurlygurl 1263329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Instantly - I never had any problems adjusting. </p> <p>However, it was difficult figuring out breastfeeding! That gave me a lot of stress (SOOO much stress). And, I kinda got a little depressed that I was going to be changing diapers for the next 8 years of my life (I want 4 kids all 1-2 years apart). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom/page/2#post-1263268 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 16:19:29 +0000 jedeve 1263268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I loved him instantly.</p> <p>But I feel like I hit my groove and things got fun around 4-6 months. Every month gets better after that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom/page/2#post-1263266 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 16:17:27 +0000 Aimed 1263266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I voted 4 to 6 months. I never felt that instantaneous love that you are 'supposed to' I don't love the newborn stage and would say that I really fell in love around the 4 month mark. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom/page/2#post-1263258 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 16:10:17 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 1263258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsF: perfectly put! 14 month olds are the greatest, huh? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom/page/2#post-1263244 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 16:06:14 +0000 MrsF 1263244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I voted 4-6 months. I was in love with M from the first moment I saw her but it took me a long time to feel really happy. She had such horrible MSPI and colic symptoms and it was so hard to love her so much and feel like I was failing her. We were both miserable. </p> <p>@Mae: Hopefully you will be one of the lucky ones who is happy from the start. I like threads like this, though, because it was really really helpful for me to see that other moms were unhappy at first and came through it. After 6 months I started to feel like we were thriving instead of just surviving. Now, at 14 months, it's hard to imagine that I could ever be happier! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom#post-1263187 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 15:53:45 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 1263187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: Yes! Physically, breastfeeding was (and is) easy, but mentally it was hard to feel like I was solely responsible for keeping him alive and healthy. It was so high-stakes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom#post-1263145 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 15:45:08 +0000 lemondrop 1263145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Love and complete devotion, but NOT happiness from the start- happiness started at almost exactly 7 weeks when he smiled at us for the first time. That's when I was sold that we would be ok and could do this thing. Feeding issues eased up at that time too and I stopped crying. </p> <p>It wasn't horrible for the first 7 weeks, but it was certainly a roller coaster. Ultimately I felt like a zombie my first 6 months, and REALLY started to have a blast with him at the one-year mark. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom#post-1263074 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 15:30:31 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 1263074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoyfulKiwi: I think when my baby started drinking cows milk at 1 year.... Things really opened up for me then! I will stick to my answer of 4-6 months because around that time I came to cope with all the life changes and was happy/ok with them/ had developed workarounds, etc. But yes, the first birthday mark changes so much! It is an amazing transformation. Really solids and especially BLW help a TON. Once you are not the only provider of food, that is a game changer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom#post-1263030 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 15:23:19 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 1263030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've always loved F and never regretted becoming a mom, but I chose 9-12 months. Not because I was miserable before then, but because that was when I finally felt adjusted to our new routines and started feeling thrilled about being a mom. I also went through several other events that needed adjusting to (starting work again &amp; being a SAHM over the summer) that maybe increased my stress level &amp; made it hard for me to fully enjoy my life.<br /> F also became more independent at that time; I stopped worrying as much about him and started finding more joy in everyday moments. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom#post-1263021 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 15:22:13 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 1263021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sammyfab: perfectly put! Transitioning from a busy WOHM to a different-kind-of-busy SAHM was difficult. As mine got more independent, I felt less overwhelmed and was able to stretch my limits to do things I cared about. I look back and think about the first few months, why was I so stressed out? But it was my first baby and I didn't know how fast that first year would go!</p> <p>Personally I think that building social time and time away from baby is essential to bouncing back. Also feel comfortable to take risks with baby....you know, go out to lunch, don't get holes up I the house. Fear can really erode your satisfaction level. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom#post-1263003 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 15:18:37 +0000 mrsog 1263003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: I'm so glad you asked this. I read that other thread too and totally had the same thoughts as you. It made me feel sad but the honest answers here are very reassuring. I know entering motherhood is such a dramatic change in life and I hope that I am able to handle it well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom#post-1262935 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 15:06:59 +0000 illumina 1262935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Almost 3mths and I'm still going between "this is exciting" and "wtf have we done?!" on a daily basis! Hopefully it will get better...I think for me the issue has been expectations and lack of confidence because my Dh would say it's been mostly fine :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom#post-1262932 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 15:06:35 +0000 blackbird 1262932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It took some time. I had moments of happy and moments of, "ugh this blows. I'm tired". I lived for the good moments. I couldn't wait for the bad ones to be over. Over the last 3-4 months, I've really come to be truly happy. And it's hard because I can't say in hindsight i was "truly happy" because I don't feel the way I do now. But at the time, i would have said i was. I also wasn't totally overwhelmed with all the love at first, and people kept asking me and i wanted to hit them with a big stick. I was protective, but i wasn't enamored like I am now. THAT had to grow and develop.</p> <p>If that makes any sense!</p> <p>When E stopped being a needy blob, that helped. The interaction, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom#post-1262885 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 14:57:28 +0000 hilsy85 1262885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was always HAPPY to be a mom, and always happy to have LO. But I would say I started enjoying motherhood around 7 weeks...nursing got easier, he started smiling, and sleep got better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom#post-1262880 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 14:55:16 +0000 LuLu Mom 1262880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was happy right away, even with her screaming/acid reflux/puking I never once had thoughts of regret/second guessing, ect. I knew my life's calling was to be a mother so when it happened I was overwelmed with feelings!</p> <p>I will say that once she hit 6 months I felt like a natural and that I didn't have to "prove" she was my child. I think her interacting back and what not really pushed it that much more. It is true I love her more each day! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom#post-1262879 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 14:55:15 +0000 MrsTiz 1262879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>6 weeks? I've loved him always of course, but not until around 6 weeks did I go a whole day without wondering why I decided to have a baby :( We had a rough start but more routine has been good for both of us. I'm still waiting for us to hit our stride and it be smooth sailing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom#post-1262861 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 14:52:04 +0000 Smurfette 1262861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was in love from the first second I saw her. But the first 6 months were filled with what did we do all the time. While I loved her, it was 6 months before I really loved loved being a Mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom#post-1262655 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 14:09:50 +0000 cmomma17 1262655@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have been happy all along. I love him more than I've ever loved anything or anyone. Being a mom is AMAZING.</p> <p>But right now, at 6.5/7ish months is when I really hit my stride and felt like I know what I'm doing, I'm confident, I'm not a total mess :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom#post-1262640 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 14:06:54 +0000 Adira 1262640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlecasita1122: I felt the exact same as you. When Xander was placed on my chest after he was born, I thought he was cute and I was relieved I was done giving birth, but I definitely didn't feel overwhelmed with love! Mostly I just felt exhausted! And that first month+, I kept thinking that we had a made a huge terrible mistake!!! It wasn't until 7+ weeks that we finally figured out breastfeeding and Xander started giving us smiles that I finally STARTED to bond with him! And by 10-12 weeks, I was in love! I definitely felt like there was something wrong with me in the beginning that I wasn't head over heels in love with him right from the get-go, but that's totally normal for some people!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom#post-1262545 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 13:49:23 +0000 littlecasita1122 1262545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't feel that instant connection with my LO, even when he was placed on chest after he was born. Yes, I was crying because I was so happy to meet him but I didn't feel some overwhelming feeling of love yet. I would say once we hit 7 weeks, I felt much happier in my decision to become a mom. The first few weeks I was thinking a lot of "oh my god, what did I do, we should have waited a couple more years" - not going to lie! I think this is normal, though, and I wish more people would be honest about it when they don't feel an instant connection because I felt like I was missing out on something in the first few weeks. Sometimes it just takes longer to bond and that's OKAY! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom#post-1262536 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 13:47:00 +0000 Mae 1262536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sammyfab: It seems like such a strange (but common) dichotomy of the "it sucks so hard" but also "I'm glad I did it"! Maybe I won't be able to truly understand until my LO is here! (But I'm glad most people seem glad they did it early on… even if it is sucking) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-long-until-you-were-happy-being-a-mom#post-1262525 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 13:43:53 +0000 JoJoGirl 1262525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: Agree with everything you wrote except the relationship part, which sucked for us too. :) yes, it was all pretty much super hard for a long time. </p>