https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 14 May 2026 03:54:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-many-days-would-you-give-it#post-218181 Thu, 12 Jul 2012 08:24:11 +0000 eeh 218181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You mentioned that she's being cared for while you're still home and I'm wondering if this could have something to do with it. Perhaps you could make an effort to get out of the house and allow the two of them some time to bond on their own terms. It will be hard because LaLa will probably scream when you leave but I think it might help. </p> <p>Also, maybe you could have a box of toys or activities that she only gets to do with the new nanny. Make sure they are super, super fun things that she would absolutely love. </p> <p>Since you aren't worried about your girls' safety with the nanny I would give the two of them more time to bond. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-many-days-would-you-give-it#post-218075 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 23:06:52 +0000 mrsmenow 218075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have had issues like this at daycare, when they transiiton to a new room. It can take a few weeks, but it does usually get better gradually. Is she happier as the day goes on? I think it might just take a little longer in the nanny setting too just because it is just the two of them, and they need time to bond. Good luck and I hope it gets better soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-many-days-would-you-give-it#post-218073 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 23:04:30 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 218073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: That's a great idea. We do have a few recommendations that we could follow through on... Maybe we could start with date night babysitting and see how Lala reacts!</p> <p>@scg00387: I know the nanny just feels awful and I also know that she is totally over the moon in love with Lala, which makes it even worse! Luckily, she seems to have bonded well with the little one... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-many-days-would-you-give-it#post-218072 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 23:01:26 +0000 immabeetoo 218072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a former nanny/ semi babysitter.. this would break my heart! I feel so bad for your new/current nanny. It might have nothing to do with her and her actual style/interactions. I would try and think of somewhere "new" she could take her - to start afresh and surprise your little one. I'd give it at least a few weeks, otherwise you might very well be in the same situation with a new nanny and her crying for the second one! </p> <p>Good luck :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-many-days-would-you-give-it#post-218071 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 22:34:01 +0000 mrbee 218071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: You could always try new nannies out on the weekend! Even if you don't make a switch, it's a great way to find someone who can watch your kids on evenings or weekends when you're looking to spend some time with Mr. Jacks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-many-days-would-you-give-it#post-218040 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 21:37:40 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 218040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks all. It really sounds like I need to give it more time. My big fear would be to switch and then have the same problem. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-many-days-would-you-give-it#post-218021 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 21:02:06 +0000 Honeybee 218021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Poor Lala. :( I think, since Y is not available to be your full-time nanny right now, it would be better to give it a little more time. Changing nannies won't immediately solve the problem, since Lala will likely have an adjustment period anyone new, so give them a little time to work it out on their own. However, if things are still the same, or getting worse, in the next few weeks, I might consider looking for someone new.</p> <p>As you know, DD is also having a hard time with her care provider. She's been going to the same daycare for a year and a half now, but this is the first time she's ever been upset at drop-off or refused to go. For the past couple weeks, she screams and cries at drop-off and at the end of the day she just asks me hold her and tells me how much she misses me while at school. As far as I can tell, nothing has changed, but I hate leaving her like that. :( It breaks my heart, and I'm seriously considering taking her out altogether for awhile. DH wants to give it two weeks and then re-evaluate, so I guess that's my advice for you, too. Hugs, I know how hard it is because we want our girls to trust us but at the same time we don't want them to give up on something/someone simply because it's less than ideal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-many-days-would-you-give-it#post-218013 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 20:37:16 +0000 matador84 218013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aw...that is so difficult. Especially after having a nanny that sounds so awesome! Maybe she is just having a period of separation anxiety? Or maybe if you are unsure of the activity that goes on during the day, leave her with a list of things that you would like for her to do with Lala, and see how it goes?</p> <p>Good luck with it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-many-days-would-you-give-it#post-217995 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 20:00:30 +0000 jedeve 217995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That is tough. When I nannied, the family scheduled things to do for me in the beginning. I know the kids didn't want me to leave - I think they just get used to routine.</p> <p>Maybe you could watch a movie like Mary Poppins or Sound of Music (probably way too long though) and talk about how it can take some time to warm up to your new nanny.</p> <p>I had a babysitter I HATED when I was a kid. She was just mean/unresponsive (though once she had us make puppets - that was nice). She picked me up by my ears once - for FUN. I told my parents and they didn't do anything. I survived, but I liked our later babysitters way better. They did radical things like - talk to us. Ha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-many-days-would-you-give-it#post-217991 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 19:51:38 +0000 Mrs. Pen 217991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>that is sooo so sad!!!</p> <p>I hate the idea of firing her though if she has done nothing wrong, but then again I think kids are also sensitive to things like this. I know a mom who always trusts her child's instincts when it comes to people, she believes that if a child won't trust them, then she can't either.</p> <p>If Lala is truly unhappy- there should be a change. However I think waiting it out for at least a month would be wise.</p> <p>That's what I've done with all my nanny jobs and it was right around the 1 month mark that we finally "clicked" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-many-days-would-you-give-it#post-217985 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 19:34:50 +0000 Mrs. Bee 217985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i would give it some more time. it honestly took our nanny a good month to get into the groove of things, and i contemplating firing her many times before then... but i'm glad i didn't.</p> <p>can they do something super fun together like the zoo, children's museum, etc that she loves? i think sharing a wonderful experience together might bring them closer together.</p> <p>the other nanny is probably just better with kids, but that doesn't mean your nanny isn't just as good. nerves really do come into play with a new family as well, and maybe you haven't seen how great she can be just yet because it's so early.</p> <p>hopefully it works out, but i would definitely give it more time if it doesn't seem like she's doing anything wrong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-many-days-would-you-give-it#post-217984 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 19:33:14 +0000 Andrea 217984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: since she isn't doing anything blatantly wrong (that you know of) I would give it more time...maybe another week or two and then reassess? In the meantime, I would talk to the nanny about activities that she should do with Lala. Then hopefully your DD will start liking her more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-many-days-would-you-give-it#post-217982 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 19:29:36 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 217982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chopsuey119: I bought them sidewalk chalk to draw with and a new playdough set... but Lala won't really engage with her very well (or at least is half hearted about it).</p> <p>Gah! Even in my line of work I wouldn't know how to advise someone about this issue. I feel really stuck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-many-days-would-you-give-it#post-217973 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 19:27:15 +0000 chopsuey 217973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dang. That stinks.. :( It must make your new nanny feel pretty crummy too?<br /> Do you think it'll help if Lala does a fun project with the new nanny? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-many-days-would-you-give-it#post-217971 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 19:26:45 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 217971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: (and Andrea) Here's the thing. Lala only gets taken care of in the morning when I'm there and then when she comes home from school... so I'm around most of the time (unless I have to run an errand or something) except on Fridays where she's cared for full time.</p> <p>I don't think anything bad is happening per se. Instead I get the sense that Lala is understimulated with her. The other nanny does projects and art and has a guitar and sings (almost like she's running a day at Montessori), whereas our new nanny probably doesn't do that much (but is, still, I think, good... just not AS good, if that makes sense). But maybe she's more checked out when I'm not around than I know? I do trust Lala's judgment and when she had tears at Montessori, it was better each day and at the end of each day she refused to come home, so I was confident in it the whole time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-many-days-would-you-give-it#post-217967 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 19:23:49 +0000 Andrea 217967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you think Lala really doesn't like her or she just misses the other nanny for now? Is she unhappy during the entire time that she is with this new nanny? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-many-days-would-you-give-it#post-217962 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 19:21:31 +0000 MamaCate 217962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes! LO is not old enough for this yet but with some experience working with kids, I think it would be helpful to get more information about what happens after the protesting at you leaving. Does she stay upset for a long time or settle in quickly and do well with the nanny during the day? If she is protesting and quickly recovering, I would be more likely to chalk it up to age appropriate response to changes. If she seems to have a hard time all day, I would be more concerned. </p> <p>Do you think your nanny will be an honest reporter about how Lala is handling things? Have you noticed any other changes in her behavior? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-many-days-would-you-give-it#post-217920 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 18:30:12 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 217920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our new nanny started this week. Because she couldn't start earlier, we had a temporary nanny, who both our girls have adored since day 1. When the full time nanny started this week, Lala has screamed every morning until we leave for school and she cries every day when we get home from school. She keeps saying, "XXXX should go home! I don't like XXXX! I want YYYY! Nooo XXXX!"</p> <p>How many days should I give this before giving up? It's getting worse, not better, which is of concern to me. She was fine with XXXX until we had YYYY come fill in for the week, but was less enthused each progressive day with XXXX during our trial period. I just blamed it on other things at the time.</p> <p>Unfortunately, temporary nanny is not a long term option, because she's a full time nanny for other friends who just happen to be summering "away".</p> <p>Any and all advice welcome! </p>