https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 05:56:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1298173 Mon, 23 Dec 2013 14:40:44 +0000 looch 1298173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really struggle with this, because my son isn't the greatest sleeper in the world. I was diligent with awake times, sleep cues, routines, etc. but he just doesn't self soothe well.</p> <p>I think sleep habits are partly inherited, my husband is a.lso a terrible sleepers and according to my mil, he and my so are very similar. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1298145 Mon, 23 Dec 2013 14:29:12 +0000 Sammyfab 1298145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Trailmix: yes!!! I totally agree with this. And the same goes for eating habits and a lot of different milestones. :)</p> <p>My son is a great sleeper and a so-so napper and while we started healthy sleep habits early on, I think he is a naturally independent and consistent sleeper. I like to think that because he has been difficult in other areas, he has been easy on us with sleep :happy: . </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1298067 Mon, 23 Dec 2013 14:04:45 +0000 lamariniere 1298067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it is mostly the kid. DS is now almost three and was the WORST sleeper. We tried sleep training a few tomes the first year and it did not work for us. The first time he STTN was just a few weeks after he turned one (gah!) and he did it all by himself. Since then, so for two years, he has woken up only a small handful if times (maybe 5). </p> <p>We now have a three week old DD and from the get go she has been an amazing sleeper compared to DS. Who knows how long it will last, but from birth, my children's sleep patterns have been completely different. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1297695 Mon, 23 Dec 2013 11:49:20 +0000 illumina 1297695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>None, really. I think she *touches wood* is a naturally good sleeper... and apparently gets that from her mama as my Mum told me recently that my Sister and I were good sleepers too :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1297090 Mon, 23 Dec 2013 07:42:13 +0000 mediagirl 1297090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think our routine (since age 3 months) helped get her on a sleeping "schedule" where she knew when she was going to lay down for bed and for naps. I could do nothing to help her sleep longer, though, that was all up to her. </p> <p>All that being said, coincidence or not, she did start STTN after we weaned. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1297087 Mon, 23 Dec 2013 07:31:27 +0000 blackbird 1297087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think we helped foster good sleep because we were on it from the beginning--no developing bad habits, etc. It's no coincidence that she immediately slept great after we sleep trained and has mostly continued to. But she was always a pretty good sleeper; we just made her better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296990 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 23:54:00 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 1296990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's both. I think you can introduce skills to help children sleep, but temperament plays a huge role. I think that's why there are terms like "light" or "deep" sleepers, even for adults! Some people are light sleepers their whole lives, and there's really nothing they can do about it…</p> <p>FWIW, both my kids did well with all the typical sleep recommendations given in books though even though their personalities are polar opposites in every other way. I followed guidelines for how long wake times should be at what age, etc. and they seemed to fit those time molds pretty well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296984 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 23:48:51 +0000 skibobrown 1296984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think we had some, but I think my daughter was also naturally a pretty good nighttime sleeper. We introduced routine, and helped her out with a pacifier -- only fed her at night if she continued to cry for food even after being offered a pacifier. I think those definitely helped her to sleep through the night early on.<br /> BUT, on the flip side, I followed every rule for nap time, and I never convinced my daughter to be a good napper. She finally came into it on her own soon after she turned 1, and I'm sure her daycare nap routine helped with that. But I do think a lot of her sleeping strengths and weaknesses are just part of her personality. While we got lucky on some, and were able to reinforce her natural tendencies with routine... we were not so lucky on others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296963 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 23:28:14 +0000 Dagny 1296963@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Very little!! I tried all the typical recommendations re:routine, lovey, etc. Made no difference. As with everything, depends on the child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296957 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 23:14:52 +0000 googly-eyes 1296957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know. Dd is a good sleeper generally but when she goes through a rough patch, night wakings are LONG. (1-3 hours, usually between 1 and 5, and usually closer to 3 than 1.) And though we temporarily quit the paci at 5 months we ended up back on it even though I tried not to.</p> <p>I think @msmini and @locavore_mama are right to be honest!! I have gone through good periods where I thought "see! all the routines and blahblahblah are worth it!" and then gotten to crap periods where I thought "but I did (almost) everything right! Whyyyyy?" Yes, routines help, but in the end I think nature plays a huuuuuge role in determining how much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296872 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 21:29:17 +0000 sslm 1296872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't feel like we have much control at all. We just lucked out with a decent night sleeper (but a crap napper). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296833 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 20:58:56 +0000 Greentea 1296833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Trailmix: haha! Yes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296832 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 20:57:43 +0000 Greentea 1296832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't really believe you can do very much. I also don't believe sleeping is a learned skill. It isn't for me! More of a natural process... somepeople can sleep 12 hours... me not so much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296789 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 20:09:34 +0000 LemonLong 1296789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think we played a big role in it. I'm pretty lax parent, but sleep was one thing I knew needed to be a priority for us since we both have careers that are also important to us. We started "sleep training" at only 4 weeks old. My LO is an awesome sleeper even now at 14 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296781 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 20:01:36 +0000 jetsa 1296781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Trailmix: this is great to hear. DS hates sleep and I was afraid we were causing it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296751 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 19:29:44 +0000 regberadaisy 1296751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Trailmix: exactly. It's easy to take the credit when LO is a great sleeper but hard to take the blame when they're a bad sleeper! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296740 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 19:20:24 +0000 Mamasig 1296740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: exactly! I used to think I "messed up" my son's sleep somehow. But then I realized, I can't force him to be a good sleeper if he is not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296709 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 18:41:43 +0000 yoursilverlining 1296709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think we some some control in the sense that we're able to do research and then introduce a lot of options (various sleep training methods, loveys, stability, routine, white noise, etc.) but much of it depends on your baby. A friend of mine credits her LO's sleep with her strict routine....she's never had any sleep issues. Sorry friend, but your 1 week old didn't sleep like magic from day 1 because of you: you got lucky. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296703 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 18:29:31 +0000 Kemma 1296703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a parent I think you can certainly encourage "good" sleep and promote healthy sleep hygiene but at at the end of the day you can't force a baby to sleep! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296692 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 18:17:05 +0000 winniebee 1296692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Trailmix: so interesting! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296689 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 18:15:43 +0000 winniebee 1296689@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's a little of both I think. We enforce good sleep habits and a routine and he's always been a pretty good sleeper but an excellent night sleeper since 9 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296674 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 17:47:09 +0000 immabeetoo 1296674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Trailmix: agreed! I have twin nieces who are one of each too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296650 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 16:57:49 +0000 Revel 1296650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for all the thoughtful replies, from the parents of good and bad sleepers alike! This was one of those existential questions I asked myself last night as I was dealing with LOs fourth (?) wakeup, haha. With LOs night wakeups and crap naps it's hard to not feel like our parenting is wrapped up the bad sleep, but like anything else it's probably a combination of factors.</p> <p>@MsMini: @Trailmix: I had to laugh at these responses! We're probably not able to objectively evaluate our impact. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296639 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 16:43:37 +0000 Cherrybee 1296639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a fairly crappy sleeper and I do think that I'm part of the problem because I run to her as soon as she fusses for a few seconds. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296632 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 16:37:46 +0000 MsMini 1296632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it is easy to say it is all about the parents when you have a good sleeper ;) </p> <p>Honestly, I think it is 75% nature/25% nurture! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296626 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 16:22:31 +0000 autumnlove 1296626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Luck and consistent sleep routines. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296625 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 16:20:44 +0000 Mamasig 1296625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say it's more personality. We have a routine, etc and DS is an OK sleeper, not the best. He just have never liked sleep! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296622 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 16:16:32 +0000 Espion 1296622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it has a lot to do with personality, and I think I have a relatively good sleeper. (Is a "stable" sleeper the same as good? We've been riding a status quo for quite awhile now, so I feel like we've adapted!) </p> <p>That being said, we finally (finally!) got a real crib for E. He usually wakes around 1 am, and this time I let him fuss in his crib. If he cried, I would have leapt out of bed and run to his side, but he just low-level fussed for about 20 minutes, then fell back asleep. If he was in our room, I definitely would have pulled him into bed with me, and then we'd be up and down every hour after that. </p> <p>Then he got up at 4:30 AM, and I fed him (just fussing again, but I think it is reasonable to nurse him at that point), then he slept until...NINE AM. Never in his life has he slept that long. </p> <p>I seriously doubt that night's "success" is anything I have done. I think it is all him. Maybe I was holding him back by keeping him in our room? (Even though I miss him, I'm glad he is getting better sleep.) Would I have put him in his own room any sooner? Absolutely not. I wanted to keep him in our room for at least 6 months, and as uncomfortable as the acrobatic sleep was, I really liked co-sleeping. But it was never very restful for either of us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296615 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 16:07:51 +0000 Dandelion 1296615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was lucky...DS just had the personality for it. He was able to self soothe and sleep all night by 4 months. At 6 years old, he can still lay down at bedtime and be asleep in ten minutes.</p> <p>I hope this next LO is just as nice, because I know I didn't have much to do with it the first time (except for genes...he gets it from me). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-control-do-you-think-you-have-had-over-your-babys-sleep#post-1296610 Sun, 22 Dec 2013 16:04:31 +0000 Grace 1296610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've wondered that! So many times I've tweaked a little thing and sleep has been better. But really, could such a small change make that much difference? </p>