https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Apr 2026 11:23:55 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091822 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 16:10:19 +0000 sarac 2091822@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: Yeah, I agree. That's truly terrible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091701 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 15:19:17 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2091701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: Yes! That's the part that blew my mind. If I did that with LO, of course he would continue to act out...he would be forced to sit there to watch other people had fun! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091678 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 15:14:41 +0000 LuLu Mom 2091678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: you know I guess now that you said that, I have removed her Frozen plate when she was throwing food in the kitchen and I took her Doc McStuffins cup when she was leaning back in her chair, I just equated that those items where in the kitchen which is where the "crime" was taking place but in reality it never really directly related to the items taken. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091674 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 15:14:03 +0000 Freckles 2091674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: Ohh, i didn't realize that you guys were going to be there the entire day. So where was he going to be? Just sitting on a couch watching? I actually think that would be quite difficult to enforce! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091661 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 15:07:38 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2091661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: We do the same as you, and will take away one favorite thing. I think the part that I thought was harsh was that she was going to continue to take away ALL of his toys after nap, not allow him to play with my friend or his sister while they were playing and essentially make him watch them play, but not allow him to participate. He had already apologized and she was thinking about doing the same for the following day. </p> <p>I guess it's the length of time that the "punishment" is going to last and that he can't play with anything. That would just be difficult for me to enforce in general. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091617 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 14:48:02 +0000 Freckles 2091617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess i'm alone in thinking that's not harsh. don't think that's too young of an age for him to understand. When DD was 2.5, she kept putting her foot through the the dining chair. One time, the chair tipped over and i was able to break the fall. A few days later at lunch, she kept doing it, and i was really upset because it was a safety issue. I told her if she did that one more time (she had already done it repeatedly), i was taking away her Princess water cup (something new i had bought her, which she loved). She did it anyways, and i promptly took it and put it away. She cried and cried, and i told her she could have it after nap time. She never put her foot in the chair again, and when i tell her, "if you do this..." she knows there will be consequences. (ETA: i realize what i took away doesn't "fit" the crime, but i already tried other things before taking her cup away)</p> <p>That being said, we don't do timeouts. We'll do "quiet chair" when she needs to calm down (we'll be there with her). It would make DD much more sad for her to be alone, than to take toys away.</p> <p>Everyone has their own way of disciplining their kids. Whatever works for that family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091611 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 14:45:18 +0000 Kemma 2091611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally, I believe in actions having consequences rather than "punishment" and I'm not sure that a 2-3 year old would even begin to understand why all of a sudden he had nothing in his room!</p> <p>At toddler / preschool age most kids aren't being deliberately naughty, just acting their age (and level of development) so "discipline" should be more about modelling and teaching appropriate behaviour, as well as appropriate consequences. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091601 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 14:38:51 +0000 looch 2091601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: I'll be honest, there's not a lot of toys in my son's room, so it wouldn't take me a lot of effort to sweep everything into a box and be done with it...it's that way by design though, we use the playroom for the majority of toys because the bedroom is a relaxing space.</p> <p>We've never had to remove everything from my son's room, but the thought of doing it then having to find a place for the stash isn't exactly how I want to spend my free time, so I wonder your friend's son's room is very bare to begin with? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091595 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 14:35:53 +0000 LuLu Mom 2091595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>at 2 1/2: We give timeouts automatically for hitting, there is no warning, if she hits/kicks/cause harm to another person or animal she is automatically in timeout. 2 minutes or until she's ready to calm down (sometimes she says she's not ready so we leave her be.) </p> <p>I only take toys away if it fits the crime, if she was throwing them and didn't stop after being asked, if she refused to put them away when playtime was over, or if she wasn't sharing/being a bully. But I do take them away, put them in a bag and will remove them for a few hours. If it's evening, I won't give them back until next day. At 2 1/2 I think she fully understands, she knows when I pull the bag out that I mean business. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091561 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 14:19:09 +0000 PinkElephant 2091561@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter is 2.5 years and I absolutely take away toys that she throws or hits her sister with (for the rest of the day, or until nap if it's early in the morning). As far as cleaning up toys, I've only put a toy in time out as a punishment for refusing to help pick up on one occasion - that's all it took.</p> <p>Personally, it's extra important to me to have some hard and fast "cause and effect" rules and to follow through on things I say I'm going to do because I'm aware that my 10 month (who is super super cheeky in her behavior) old also watches her sister's actions and my response to them like a hawk. I want them to take me seriously so that when I tell them more important rules (not running into the street, not touching the oven), they'll remember that the consequences Mommy mentions ARE true. If I say I'm going to take away toys for throwing, then don't do it, why should they believe me when I say the oven is hot - don't touch? :)</p> <p>It sounds like your friend's reaction was in anger rather than something she'd planned out ahead of time, which is probably why it feels harsh. It's a bit on the extreme side for me...I feel for her, though. It doesn't happen often, but if my daughter is being put in her crib to calm down after several hours of misbehavior/not listening (just one of those days!), I don't believe she should get to play with mountain of toys, so I will remove everything but her lovey, since what her behavior says to me is that she needs quiet downtime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091518 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 13:58:40 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2091518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I should say that he's a little over 3, so about 6 months older than my son. So it's not like this is happening to a 2 year old...just added the age range in there since I sometimes equate our sons to being around the same age. </p> <p>I work from home and thought about it again as I went downstairs to tell LO it was time for nap. I made him clean up the tornado he made downstairs, and though he resisted at first, began to help when he saw me cleaning up too. I was thinking about if there was anything that would make me mad enough to take away everything - I don't think I could even do it for my OWN sanity! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091479 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 13:37:05 +0000 bushelandapeck 2091479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: that sounds very harsh. And I agree with you that he probably doesn't really understand why everything was taken away. It makes me sad to think about. </p> <p>We do timeouts for hitting, throwing, spitting, etc and do take toys away if DS is using them as weapons or if he refuses to help pick them up, despite numerous requests. I don't expect him to pick everything up, but I do want him to help me clean up, and taking them away for the night/for a few hours, seems to resonate with him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091474 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 13:35:33 +0000 Adira 2091474@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: Yeah, I can't really imagine Xander doing anything that would warrant that. Sometimes we have to move to his room for redirection (we often play in the living room, but occasionally he'll get it into his head that hitting the TV over and over and over again is the BEST and no amount of timeouts seem to stop it, so we'll move upstairs to his room to play instead), but he still has plenty of toys and stuff. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091470 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 13:34:04 +0000 Mamaof2 2091470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: sounds like the mom needed a time out!</p> <p>I have been there - frustrated and exhausted and probably went a little overboard on the punishment but at 2 yrs old - I think that was a little extreme, ok a lot extreme! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091468 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 13:33:38 +0000 hilsy85 2091468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: at 2.5..that seems a bit harsh. If he seemed tired enough to fall asleep, I probably would hve just put him down for a nap (which is what I just did actually because LO was being a terror all morning!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091463 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 13:31:37 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2091463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: She said he wasn't listening to her all day. She's a SAH mom, and has a 1 year old as well. She finally had it, took him up to his room, removed EVERYTHING except for his bed and a sheet and left him there. It made me a little sad for him. I'm 100% sure he knows why that happened as he was put into his room, but he fell asleep, and she said he won't be allowed to participate in any "fun" for the rest of the night. I don't think he's going to remember why he isn't allowed any of his toys or TV after his nap. So that's where I think the punishment is a little harsh. </p> <p>@Adira: We have a similar approach. The timeout is enough for him to behave for most of the rest of the night unless he's missed his nap. That's usually where we run into trouble, but even then...there is nothing that LO can do in order to be sent to his room without anything but a bed and a sheet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091446 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 13:22:00 +0000 Beehive 2091446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't do time outs, but we remove offending objects for a little while. So when he's throwing or banging something we tell him not to, if he keeps doing it we warn him that we'll take it away if he throws it again, and when he throws it again it goes on a high shelf. Sometimes it stays there the rest of the day, I don't think we have given much thought to that - I'd definitely keep it there for the rest of the "play session". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091439 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 13:17:09 +0000 hilsy85 2091439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess it depends whether that punishment is linked to the "crime"? Another words, IMO it doesn't make sense to take toys away for hittiing, for example, or for throwing food. Throwing toys, sure I would take them away for a bit--maybe even the rest of the day if it was already late afternoon/early evening (not all the toys, just the toy that he was throwing). Is she doing it in an angry way? Or very calm, like " I know you're sorry, but we don't throw cars at people, so this car is going to have to take a rest up here on the shelf for a while, and we can play with something else". I have said that to LO before. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091435 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 13:13:32 +0000 Adira 2091435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With Xander (2 years), we give a warning and then do timeout (for 2 minutes now that he's 2 :crying: ). Once the timeout is over, we reiterate why he was in timeout and then give hugs and kisses and all is forgotten. Unless he goes back to doing whatever it was that got him put in timeout in the first place! Then we might take it away! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091423 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 13:06:22 +0000 looch 2091423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've boxed up a bunch of my son's toys before, the crime was not picking up those toys after repeated requests. He knew exactly what was being done, he cried about it, but I was clear and up front that if he didn't pick up the toys he was going to lose them. He eventually earned them back, they didn't represent his entire stock of toys, though. He was over 3 at the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091416 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 13:04:12 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 2091416@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally do not even like the word "discipline." It has an extremely negative connotation for me. My LO (who is 2) has limits, but I do not have any specific discipline. I try to only put limits when they are enforceable and necessary, so I'm able to follow through. For example, "one more book," "five more minutes," "no hitting with the golf club." So far it has worked really well for us. I've tried time outs a couple of times (mostly for throwing food and/or pulling the dog's tail), but I don't think they make sense to LO yet. The only times I take things away are when LO is being dangerous with an object. Then he loses that specific object. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-discipline-is-too-much#post-2091401 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 12:59:00 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2091401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not looking for anything in particular here, but was discussing forms of discipline with a friend of mine, and we do things differently. </p> <p>When DS does something wrong, we will firmly tell him why that was wrong or put him in timeout. I wait until he calms himself and will go get him, make him apologize and explain why what he did wasn't the correct choice. After that, we pretty much go back to normal.</p> <p>My friend takes away everything...even after the apology is made, and for most of the rest of the night or even into the next day. Our kids are similar ages (2-3), and while I would never judge anyone else's parenting choice, I couldn't imagine enforcing that with our son. I think our son thrives on being included and it would seriously break him if I wouldn't allow him to play with any of his toys or have any sort of fun for days. I don't think he has the mental capacity to understand what's going on.</p> <p>Thoughts? How do you discipline your kids and how old are they? </p>