https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 16 Jul 2026 10:37:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2273332 Wed, 26 Aug 2015 06:43:13 +0000 honeybear 2273332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This sounds like standard young toddler behavior. Mine went through a couple of phases (the only eating white stuff was the one that freaked me out the most...) and none of them lasted long, although they seemed like potentially huge problems at the time. In my experience, there are two key things to keep in mind: 1) keep tabs on the situation, but try hard not to stress out (because even if there really is a problem, anxiety will not improve the situation); and 2) offer food in courses, starting with the new food/most often rejected food first. </p> <p>If you want to do something as a trial run, I would start with changing up breakfast. Toddlers don't know that certain foods are considered "breakfast" foods, so they won't be offended by, say, leftover carrot salad or grilled zucchini in the morning. And since that's the time when she's most likely to be hungry, you've got a pretty good shot at getting her to try new things or old things that she previously rejected. </p> <p>Speaking from my experience as a long-time (almost entirely) vegetarian, I wouldn't worry too much about protein. Milk, cheese, and yogurt have plenty of it and some vegetables do too. So do crackers, breads, etc. Each individual item may not have a lot, but when you add it all up, the overall diet has plenty of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2273244 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 21:08:29 +0000 twodoghouse 2273244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: Hmm, might be worth a try? Alice was taking 20 oz prior to doing away with (most) bottles. She still gets a bottle of milk at bedtime (I offer 8 oz but if she wants to nurse she may only take a couple oz from the bottle) and sometimes at nap time depending on when that falls in relation to lunch (she might drink 3-4 oz then). She doesn't take much out of sippy cups but she does nurse several times per day and overnight. So it's hard to tell how much she's really getting anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2273242 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 21:05:52 +0000 Mae 2273242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@twodoghouse: 20oz. Four bottles she gets after bfast, after lunch, after afternoon snack, and bedtime. I've been thinking of cutting it back to 16oz/day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2273237 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 20:51:26 +0000 twodoghouse 2273237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: How much milk does she get per day now? The first time Alice ever ate a substantial amount of meat (like more than one bite!) was wen I felt like I was starving them to death because I took the bottles away, they were refusing sippy cups, and only wanted to nurse 432 times per day. I was sort of freaking out about the sharp decrease in milk but then she just ate a bunch of fish and I thought "whoa, maybe my picky child just isn't desperate enough to eat meat because she's full of milk!" Unfortunately that doesn't work all the time now that she's picked up her water intake and occasionally has an oz of milk from a sippy. But I do think some of her food throwing and fussy meal behavior is because she was never motivated to eat because I never let her get very hungry, if that makes sense? But I do think we were having a lot more frequent bottles than you were doing with Fia so maybe that's not your issue at all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2273229 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 20:41:38 +0000 Mae 2273229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: yea that doesn't work with mine. We usually don't offer another option until it has been at least 20 minutes and not very often as it is (only if she really legit eats almost nothing). </p> <p>@illumina: exactly that. Although she is really picky about proteins so I usually can't count on her to eat whatever protein we are eating. </p> <p>@erinbaderin: We can't put much food on her tray at a time or she throws it. So we offer a little at a time. Protein first but if she doesn't want it, I just give her her veggie and fruit. I offer the protein intermittently throughout. If she eats like, at least 4 bites I don't worry about it. But she does almost always eat her veggies really well so I know she isn't totally starving, even if there aren't many calories in her veggies. </p> <p>@illumina: I never restrict fruit personally. I do offer it last, but I'd rather she eat some fruit than nothing at all. And when I'm able to give her more than 3 bites at a time I plan to just put everything on her tray at once and she can eat whatever she wants first. But I guess we'll see how that works for us :) </p> <p>@hilsy85: She does get milk at bedtime. Less than she did before (only 5oz now since she started eating real meals), but its something. That is a really great idea about offering food at lunch though. I may try that. I don't LOVE it because it means preparing two different things for dinner, which is annoying. And because I am trying to instill a "we all eat together and eat the same thing" vibe for dinner. But maybe during this transitional phase where we are exploring new foods with her that will work better. </p> <p>@oliviaoblivia: yea sort of? I mean she is 50% for weight. But she's 80% for height so she's proportionally pretty skinny and could use to gain a few pounds but she isn't falling off the charts by any means. </p> <p>@twodoghouse: all of those things. Especially the fact that I am a super picky eater. I was HORRIBLE as a kid and even now I am generally the pickiest eater most people meet. So I totally get just not liking certain things (especially meat because I don't like a lot of it, and never even liked red meat until I was pregnant-- ironically now she hates it). But I want her to be a better eater than I was as a kid! And I am certain that she has an aversion to newness. When I first tried milk with her she made horrible faces and spit it out. But then I mixed it with formula and weaned her onto it and she has NEVER been more excited about bottles. So I think she loves it and just didn't give it a fair shake before. </p> <p>@Mamasig: There are just so few things she really likes. Like honestly the only proteins I can guarantee she will eat are cheese and cereal bar (which doesn't even have that much, but its something and a decent amount of calories). And I don't want her to expect a cheese slice with every lunch and dinner! That just doesn't seem very healthy. Or like the best way to get her to try new food. </p> <p>@Mrs Green Grass: yea like I said above, the only good protein I know she will eat is cheese. Cereal bar has like 2g and she'll always eat that. Everything else is totally hit or miss. One day she'll eat an omelet, the next she won't. Same with chicken, nuggets, beans, etc. It is mostly unpredictable, although it is clear that she doesn't like to eat things multiple days in a row (so if she ate roasted chicken GREAT yesterday she will almost certainly not eat it today). Bah. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2273213 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 20:17:22 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 2273213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always offer more choices because my son is very low weight. And he's not a really picky eater, he just is in the mood for some things some days and not others. The biggest thing I did was offer food in courses, the thing I knew he would eat was last.</p> <p>In your case I would probably always plan a protein she likes and have what you are eating as extra...unless that goes against how you want her eating. At nearly age three we don't really eat the same thing as lo but I also don't typically cook for us, just for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2273124 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 18:39:53 +0000 Mamasig 2273124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS1 has now become a picky eater. Our ped suggested offering what we eat but also include food we know he will eat. So if dinner is baked chicken with rice and veggies, I'll put that with yogurt and cheese. Some nights he eats everything, but most nights not. I try not to make food a battle. I'm not hard core. If he looks hungry later, I'll offer a snack. I think a lot of this is just a phase. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2273097 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 18:14:09 +0000 gingerbebe 2273097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS still gets pretty basic foods, but we usually throw in one or two things that are interesting on the tray along with at least 1 thing we know he loves (and everything else). It all goes on the tray at once - fruit, carb, meat, etc. But I'm not going to give him more of something he loves at the expense of other stuff.</p> <p>Some meals he wont eat hardly a thing and throw everything. Then the next meal he will eat a little better. Or he wont touch his sippy at one meal but he'll drink a bit more formula while he's playing (I have dry snacks and a sippy out for him when he's playing). It looks like its balancing out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2273032 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 16:16:30 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2273032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>After my LO turned one until about 22 months she refused dinner every night regardless. She doesn't drink WCM so she was already in the habit of having whole milk yogurt after dinner. So pre verbal stage I only offered her what we were eating and her normal amount of yogurt, never more. I'd she was hungry she could eat what I made. She was always fine. Around 20 months we were able to institute a "one bite rule" before she could have her yogurt. It's just a phase. I worried too but I think serving at least one thing you'll know she will eat isn't going to hurt your chances of her eating well later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2272984 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 15:32:05 +0000 twodoghouse 2272984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really struggle with this too. I don't know how much of the food refusal is that they (well, mostly she because Alice is the one who really has a hard time with this) don't want to eat new things vs how much is a genuine dislike of the new item. I have some weird food things (textural issues, mostly) and I feel like I should respect if there are foods they don't want to eat (especially because Alice is extremely sensitive to textures as well). But then on the flip side, is she just going to spend her whole life eating bananas, blueberries, and cheese? I struggle with finding the line between respecting her likes and dislikes and giving in to the things she wants to eat at the expense of a balanced meal. I also fear that they will go to bed hungry! After the year we have Had, it's like I just can't let go of the fear of the feeling that my child is hungry and I'm not doing everything I can to fix it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2272974 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 15:22:30 +0000 fussygal 2272974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've recently gone through a similar issue and while I can't stand the idea of sending her to bed without SOMETHING in her belly, (and here is the part where I sound like my mother) I'm also not a short-order cook. </p> <p>At dinner I'm trying to make sure she actually watches me put her food on the counter/in the garbage so that she gets the idea that she it's really done, and then is let down from her seat. If she really doesn't eat much I give her a piece of toast a while later, usually closer to bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2272965 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 15:13:03 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2272965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No alternatives in our house. Mama don't got time for that. Eventually she eats.<br /> Is your dd on track for weight and height? If those aren't in trouble I'd let her come around to new foods.she doesn't have to eat it, but she's not getting something else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2272956 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 14:59:24 +0000 ShootingStar 2272956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So generally at dinner we don't offer any alternatives. Sometimes if it's something new and he doesn't like it, I'll give him a veggie pouch. He always eats very well at lunch and at breakfast, and for those meals I tend to feed him stuff he really likes so I know he'll eat it. He's never once woken up from being hungry, and I feel like he needs to learn that dinner is the time to eat. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2272875 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 14:04:37 +0000 hilsy85 2272875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Doesn't she still get bottles? Or any milk/formula before bed? If so, I wouldn't worry at all about giving her another option at dinner. If she is hungry, she will try the new foods. Although, I have heard that dinner is actually not the best time to introduce new foods, due to being tired at the end of the day. So maybe try switching it--give her dinner leftovers at lunch, with no 2nd option (even better because then you know she'll get a snack later), and give her a kid approved dinner. </p> <p>Also, I have never ever had my LO wake up hungry in the MOTN due to not eating dinner--I totally get the fear, but I personally have never had it happen! So I worry less about what he eats/doesn't eat at dinner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2272870 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 14:01:39 +0000 illumina 2272870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: We just talked about this too...like how much main course needs to be eaten to be offered fruit afterwards? We just had a meal where she did not touch anything...not even the chicken or peas which she will usually eat. Then she asked for raspberries and I said no and cleaned her up and got her out of her highchair and she through a huge tantrum! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2272865 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 13:59:03 +0000 Smurfette 2272865@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't offer anything else. Kids are smart and they catch on fast. I just try and make sure she has one or two things she likes. At that age we would just give her a cup of milk after dinner so that would fill her up till the morning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2272840 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 13:45:53 +0000 erinbaderin 2272840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man, I hope you get some good responses to this because I'm struggling too. I also have a problem with - ok, he'll eat some of his main course, but not all of it. Can I then offer him something else? Should I put it all out at once so it doesn't seem like I'm offering him some fruit (which I know he likes) because he refused to eat enough of his main course? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2272837 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 13:42:50 +0000 illumina 2272837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am really interested in any responses you get. I was literally this second having this same conversation with Dh! My LO basically has a deconstructed version of what we eat...she likes individual things and wouldn't eat things mixed together in a sauce (the only exception to this is pasta). So I usually give her a meat, veggie, carb...one thing might be new or something she's refused before but the others will be things I know she'll eat. Now she can use a fork and spoon well I want her to start eating more mixed up food but she just refuses it all! :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2272835 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 13:41:42 +0000 autumnlove 2272835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never offer a second option. I usually ignore the protesting and they start to eat it a few minutes later when no one is paying attention. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-do-you-give-them-what-they-want#post-2272831 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 13:36:16 +0000 Mae 2272831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is 15 mo and not speaking yet so she can't actually ask for specific food. But she has a few things she will love and basically will always eat no matter what (sliced cheddar cheese and cereal bar). She is generally not a great eater, and unpredictable (yes to chicken nuggets today, no to them tomorrow), and almost never likes what I make for dinner (she generally will only eat plain food like meat, veg... not like a casserole or fried rice with stuff mixed together). </p> <p>So generally she gets a waffle and fruit or yogurt for breakfast and usually eats that okay. Snack she may or may not eat. Lunch I make her kid food (i.e. plain protein, veg, fruit) and she usually eats okay... ish. If she isn't I just let it go because I figure she'll eat more later if she is hungry. She always gets a pouch in the afternoon and crackers if she wants them (sometimes yes, sometimes no). Dinner is where I struggle with what to feed her. </p> <p>I always first serve her whatever we are eating + a plain veggie. I want her to get used to different flavors, spices, normal prepared food, etc. She almost always refuses the main dish. I don't want to make food a battle so we don't really push her to eat it. We ask her to taste it a few times and she throws it and we just leave it sitting there. But I never know when I should offer a different protein then. Since it is her last meal of the day, I don't want her going to bed hungry. But I also worry that if I keep giving her something I know she likes after she refuses our normal dinner she will learn that all she has to do is refuse to eat and she gets cheese lol. </p> <p>How do you handle this? Especially in the pre-verbal stage? </p>