https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 00:51:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool/page/2#post-2730381 Fri, 28 Apr 2017 17:22:33 +0000 oskarsmommy 2730381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We officially withdrew from the school today, and I am feeling so guilty about it. </p> <p>Thanks ladies for your input - I knew in my gut this was the right call. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool/page/2#post-2730091 Thu, 27 Apr 2017 18:36:30 +0000 azjax 2730091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry, I don't think that's a reasonable price for pre-school. However, I may be biased because my own lack of pre-school and the years I spent in atrocious public schools haven't kept me from a B.S., M.S., and soon my PhD. IMO, the home environment and the individual child's demeanor factor more in academic success than tens of thousands of dollars on private school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2730090 Thu, 27 Apr 2017 18:35:13 +0000 travellingbee 2730090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally wouldn't spend that much on a pre-school. I feel we pay a ton but it works out to 2100 a month for 2 kids! I'm not willing to live paycheck to paycheck in order to pay for fancy preschooling no matter what bells and whistles there are. Your child will not remember preschool and any of those "perks". He will remember your relationship and special experiences with your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2730077 Thu, 27 Apr 2017 18:04:24 +0000 DesertDreams88 2730077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: This is a bit tangential but I just wanted to say I really appreciate your perspective on the instant labeling of schools as "bad" or "good" based on test scores, and the fact that you take a holistic, detailed approach that respects the hard work of many teachers in low income districts :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2730051 Thu, 27 Apr 2017 16:35:36 +0000 gingerbebe 2730051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: Well I generally find toddlers are better behaved for a nanny or teacher than their very sleep deprived mothers. But I was at home with newborn and toddler for 10 weeks last summer so I hear you, it's hard - although it gets way easier after the 4th trimester.</p> <p>I was thinking something like your nanny can watch baby in the mornings while your son is at a part time preschool program, then pick him up at lunch time. Baby gets a good morning nap, tummy time, one on one time with nanny, takes a stroller walk, etc. Nanny gets big kid, feeds lunch, baby goes down for nap, if your son is still napping then he sleeps too. If he no longer naps, then nanny has some quiet activities planned for him - a craft, sensory play, independent play, story time, etc. She supervises sibling play time, goes outside in the yard or maybe takes them to the park, gets dinner for them, etc. </p> <p>My oldest is in full day preschool and all their actual learning stuff is in the morning. They go play outside, then stations inside where they learn their concepts and themes for the day and do their art and music. It's interspersed with morning snack and lunch. So the preschool day kids come from 830am to 1145am. After that it's nap and afternoon snack and until they get picked up it's pretty much free play and playing outside for the full day kids.</p> <p>Which is why $2300 a month for preschool seems crazy pants unless they are hardcore learning all day and have insane activities. </p> <p>I feel like a mornings only preschool would handle all the social needs of a toddler - splaying with other kids and learning how to behave in class - as well as the messy art and loud music stuff that's hard to manage at home with a baby. But a good nanny can reinforce learning at home and take a toddler out to play and get exercise for him in lieu of all the aftercare stuff. </p> <p>My boys were both home with me today (one is 32 months old and one is almost 1). Today we did breakfast, DS1 did coloring and stickers while baby played on the floor, then we played together in DS1s room. Baby went down for a short morning nap while DS1 and I had one on one time and snack, then DS1 got some Curious George while baby got his bottle, both boys had lunch, then we played outside. Baby hung out with toys in the pack n play in the yard while DS1 helped me water the plants, played in the sprinklers, kicked a ball back and forth, and played in his sandbox. Everyone came in for diaper changes and fresh clothes, the boys played together while I ate lunch, then everyone went down for nap. Now I am resting a bit before making dinner. Boys will get up and have a snack and will probably play while I finish up dinner, then we will eat and they will play outside some more until bath time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2730036 Thu, 27 Apr 2017 16:02:16 +0000 oskarsmommy 2730036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: but how much can a highly skilled nanny do while also watching his younger brother? I'm his mother and I can't do that Much with both of them. Granted the baby is 5 weeks - but still. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2730016 Thu, 27 Apr 2017 15:26:02 +0000 gingerbebe 2730016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think if I were in your shoes I would do preschool at the private only to preserve the right to go there for elementary school. But if you're certain you can't or won't send your kid there for elementary, then I wouldn't bother. </p> <p> I feel like for the money you could move to a better school district, hire a highly skilled nanny to watch your kids, have your son attend a half day preschool program, and have the nanny handle pick ups and drop offs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729871 Thu, 27 Apr 2017 12:05:18 +0000 winniebee 2729871@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids go to a private Montessori school - two kids. One goes 4 days and the other 5 days. It's 8:30-330 (drop off at 815). I pay for after care 3 days until 530. It is 2750 per month total - and runs on a school calendar. I really value a good preschool experience, but would not pay 2700 for preschool for just one child.</p> <p>[This fall, our oldest will be in public K. Our second will be going to the Montessori school again and our baby will be with a nanny while I work. The nanny will also do the other kids' after school care so we will not need to pay for after school care. My estimate on total child care will be about 3600/month for 3 kids (plus about 1K per quarter in taxes for the nanny).] </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729861 Thu, 27 Apr 2017 11:49:44 +0000 oskarsmommy 2729861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: sounds like we were in very similar positions. </p> <p>I know in my gut it's not the right move. I do feel sad that we can't afford it because I do believe my son would really enjoy this school - the bells and whistles (swim class, library trips, big brother pairings with older students, music class, etc) would be fun for him. But we really simply can't afford it in a financially responsible way. </p> <p>Thanks for all the input ladies! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729742 Thu, 27 Apr 2017 09:28:38 +0000 ElbieKay 2729742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: I was considering a similar decision last fall and ultimately decided not to apply to the private school. Here are the parameters:</p> <p>1. We currently spend about $2200/month on a combination of daycare, a sitter, and grandparent care.</p> <p>2. My son just turned three, so in September he will start PreK-3.</p> <p>3. Our town has pretty well-regarded free public pre-school, which would probably drop our childcare costs down to about $800-900/month if we get a slot (likely but not guaranteed) and choose to take it.</p> <p>4. Our town's public schools do not have a very good reputation. The early elementary schools are ok, and the charter schools are ok, but public middle school is probably not an option I would consider for my son unless it changes materially in the next 8-10 years.</p> <p>5. I considered applying to one of the private schools in town in order to secure a spot since this particular school forms its class at PreK-3. The class runs from 8:30-11:15, and there is aftercare available til 3pm, so I would still need coverage in the afternoon. During the school year the cost would work out to about $3100/month (!). And then I would need a separate solution during the summer.</p> <p>6. I think my family could swing private school tuition if we only have one child. We live in an urban area, and the property taxes in the suburbs would be about double what we pay. So, if we were to move for schools, we would only save about half what we would spend on private school due to the offsetting tax hit and increased commuting costs. However, we are currently trying (unsuccessfully so far) for a second child. I don't think we could afford private school tuition for both. </p> <p>Ultimately, I could not justify spending $3100 - $900 = $2200/month for PRESCHOOL just to hedge my bets once we get to the middle/late elementary years. I would rather put that $20k of savings into my son's college fund.<br /> So we will use the public schools for now, and take it one year at a time.</p> <p>By the time we reach first/second/third grade, we will know for certain whether we will be a family of three or four, and I can always look into applying into private options then.</p> <p>On top of all these other variables, we may ultimately consider leaving the area where we live, but that would not happen for at least 3-4 more years. That made it even more difficult to justify the extra cost because it could all be for naught.</p> <p>Sorry this was so long but I put a lot of thought into this decision! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729593 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 18:40:33 +0000 Iced Tea 2729593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that home environment is much more important than the school. I would not pay that much more. </p> <p>As far as additional options for elementary, have you looked into paying to attend an adjacent public school district? My cousins did this. The cost was WAY less than private (a few thousand a year for two kids), and they were able to attend the best schools in the area. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729530 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 15:16:35 +0000 Banana330 2729530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: There's a lot of research out there now on play based learning. I understand the want to secure a place for future schooling but I'm not sure it's needed, especially if you're considering moving anyway. </p> <p>If you have a nanny can't they do pick up and not need aftercare? or just have him home with the nanny and enroll him in activities and programs to fill his days. The right nanny could encourage play based learning (socialization through groups and activites) and you would have a few years without crazy tuition. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729499 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 14:35:53 +0000 Teachermama 2729499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Coming from a teacher and and product of poor public school education... it's not about the schools or teachers, it's more about the family and what you put into it. Encourage the best out of the worst, persevere, and they'll do fine. I see it daily... not so great teacher, great family, child succeeds, I also see great teacher, puts her all, parents don't care, kid doesn't care, kid doesn't succeed. I agree with @kiddosc and @pawprints. But don't put so much energy into it... make whatever outcome work, what is meant to be will happen.</p> <p>To answer your questions:</p> <p>Do your kids enjoy their preschools? Yes. We pay for preschool, not as much as yours, but it's a place my son has loved and his teachers love him. </p> <p> Is their value to a fancier preschool? It depends what you want. Each school has a different philosophy. Our school is priced at the lower end, but still quality, with a balance of the whole child and some basic academics. I've seen schools twice as much that I pay and the quality isn't great, but the facilities are big and clean.</p> <p>Aren't they all just about playing and learning social skills? Of course, play is the work of young children. They have many years ahead to learn academics. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729450 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 12:59:36 +0000 SugarMaple 2729450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Whoa, way too much money for pre-school for me. The only way I would consider spending that much is if I felt my child had unique needs that couldn't be addressed in a typical setting. </p> <p>Did your husband attend private school? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729446 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 12:51:26 +0000 skipra 2729446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow that seems like a big cost difference! Personally I would try to stay at the cheaper school and save the money to move somewhere with better public school options. I don't know if it's a possibility at all for you, but here you can move just one town away and have an entirely different public school experience. This is actually on my mind now as our schools seem to be going downhill but neighboring towns have fantastic schools. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729444 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 12:49:01 +0000 catomd00 2729444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, I don't find preschool to be necessary, outside of providing daycare while I work, so despite how much money we had, there's no way I'd pay a ton of money for it. I think the "extra curriculars" are not worth it at the preschool age, in that you won't see a ROI. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729433 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 12:27:24 +0000 oskarsmommy 2729433@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: thanks for this. I agree - I want out of this hand to mouth cycle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729414 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 12:05:55 +0000 oskarsmommy 2729414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: this is what I think. What is going on at home will have the impact. I'm worried about the stress being spread so thin will put on our family. </p> <p>Here is the kicker. This is why my husband wants to move forward. We put down a deposit, and if we give up the spot we lose the deposit. It's a lot, 2500. Going to this school has never sat right with me- he is saying we should "try it for a year" to not lose the deposit. Then what. What if we love it. What if we hate it. Both not situations I want to be in. </p> <p>Except that I don't love where my son is at now, and don't know what we will do if we don't get into a good charter. </p> <p>We would stand to save 7000/year if we keep him where he is now.</p> <p>ETA - this would be banking on the nanny picking my older son up from school every day and watching him for an hour with the baby until I got home - to avoid the additional aftercare. </p> <p>2088 - w/o aftercare<br /> 2388 - w/ aftercare til 5</p> <p>1465 - language school/ no aftercare needed </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729413 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 12:03:48 +0000 SweetiePie 2729413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is coming from someone who is about to pay an asinine amount of money for preschool because the only option for preschool here is private. 15 hours a week is more than your preschool plus aftercare. </p> <p>We plan to send our son to private preschool but public grade school. The reason being we won't be here forever (Manhattan) and I just can't see how a couple of years in a public elementary school would be that detrimental to his long term education. I'm talking till 1st grade or 2nd grade. Then we will move to a suburb specifically with an excellent school district and continue public there. </p> <p>If I were in your shoes I'd save the money. Keep trying to get into charter. Do public Kindergarten and 1st grade and then move if I still wasn't in the charter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729410 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 12:00:41 +0000 Anagram 2729410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: have your husband read this, then talk it over and decide? <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/05/my-secret-shame/476415/" rel="nofollow">https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/05/my-secret-shame/476415/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729401 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 11:48:29 +0000 Andrea 2729401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't put yourself in a financial bind for it, but it sounds like you could swing it for the charter back up plan. Do you feel like the new school would better suit your son?</p> <p>We pay about 18k for the 9 months of preschool and it's worth it to us. DD2 is still there and DD1 went through it and now attends 1st grade at another private school. The preschool really prepared her well for elementary and the transition has been a breeze. They also do a lot of languages and music lessons, which the tuition also covers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729399 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 11:45:06 +0000 PawPrints 2729399@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: If this boils down for you to whether it makes an impact on a person's life if they attend a mediocre preschool or a high-end preschool, I personally believe the answer is no. The support that a child gets at home will make much more of a difference on their eventual academic success than the difference between an okay preschool and a phenomenal one. This is my bias showing since I'm a public-schools advocate, and also pretty into RIE/Janet Lansbury which espouses giving kids a lot of independent unstructured freedom to learn on their own during early childhood and delaying the pressures of "academia" as much as possible. But for me, personally, I can't even fathom the idea of cutting into our 401(k) contributions or our emergency savings our our annual bonuses just for a ritzy preschool. I don't think it will be worth it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729394 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 11:40:57 +0000 looch 2729394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: I had similar concerns. I was looking at test scores and they're terrible. I dug a little deeper and understand the cause better and now I look at what they're doing to close the achievement gap.</p> <p>As I mentioned, I don't send my son to the schools in my town, but I send him to another city that has the same demographics and issues, and he's doing well. I was mostly concerned with the middle schools, the elementary schools are all fine, but middle schools are going through a redesign and I feel like they're the weak link. I decided to send him to a school that's k-8 because it means I have a solution for a problem that's really 6 years away. I just didn't want to be at that point and not have any options.</p> <p>I hope you find a good solution. I personally have no luck whatsoever with lotteries, but my son did manage to get into this school via lottery because it was brand new. The competition is really stiff now and for other, more established magnets and charters in the area. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729390 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 11:36:09 +0000 oskarsmommy 2729390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: test scores, the teachers don't have a good reputation, the school has odd hours and takes random days off. I plan to tour it while on leave, as I am going off of our neighbors info who have older kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729385 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 11:31:53 +0000 looch 2729385@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: what is it that makes the local school awful? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729382 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 11:29:53 +0000 oskarsmommy 2729382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catlady: I guess the plan is that it will buy us time. Getting into a charter may work the first year. But if it doesn't we have no back up plan, as our local school is pretty awful. We would try for 3 years to get into charter - then if we don't get in, move to new location. Our home is closer to our work, and we like that while our children are small. Moving would mean longer commute for both of us - and it's just not something we want to do with an infant.<br /> It's so frustrating because I don't totally love the school he is in now - it is only so-so. I just dropped him off now - and was like, yeah, I'm not sure this is stimulating for him. I wish he was happy there or I was happy there. I have exhausted all other options at this point.</p> <p>I just can't tease out how much pre-school matters. Does it need to be more stimulating? I thought the language immersion factor would make it more-so, but I think it's working against us here in that some stuff is flying over his head. </p> <p>Long term, unless the private school gave us financial aid (18% of students receive financial aid there) it would not be a realistic option. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729380 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 11:24:51 +0000 Alba4 2729380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow- that's a lot, but it sounds like you make very good salaries and can swing it. You have amazing savings and a yearly bonus! I think that is the price of private schools and if you want that lifestyle, you just suck it up and spend that much.</p> <p>We moved so that we could send our kids to a great public school, but then again daycare is basically private school. I'm counting the days until our oldest starts public K!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729368 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 11:13:58 +0000 PawPrints 2729368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not consider paying $2300/mo PLUS aftercare for preschool. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729366 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 11:12:27 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2729366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also FWIW my response is based on this being a long term plan through elementary. If you for sure have another option by first grade (?) I would leave him where he is now then do the charter or whatever your charter backup is at first grade. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-is-too-much-preschool#post-2729364 Wed, 26 Apr 2017 11:09:38 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2729364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally would move. Actually we are in the process of moving and buying in a better area for schools.</p> <p>I will say though that I just looked where you are and in the LA area from what I've heard that isn't considered out of the norm for cost and I don't think you would be the only one in that boat.</p> <p>All that said I really lean toward no. I think it'd be better to save for college, take them on enriching trips, increase general/retirement savings, enroll them in activities, etc. This is all relative though. Not knowing the schools it's hard to say. </p>