https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 08 May 2026 07:07:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2673197 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 10:14:05 +0000 ShootingStar 2673197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DS is not great at independent play either. We have a sunroom attached to our living room through a big doorway that we use as a playroom and he's constantly asking us to go in there with him. If he colors he wants us sitting there with him. If he has a tea party, he wants us to play that too. He's not great with imaginative games, but instead likes toys that *do* something. </p> <p>I think some of it is nature, he never wanted to be left alone as a baby and would scream when I'd leave him for 10 minutes to get ready in the morning. And some may be nurture because I didn't try and foster independence.</p> <p>I definitely don't fetch things though. If DS wanted me to go get something he could easily do I'd just tell him no. He'd probably either end up getting it himself or having a meltdown that I'd ignore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2673091 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 06:20:39 +0000 pachamama 2673091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: ya know what? Your girl sounds energetic and imaginative and yes, exhausting, but will probably grow up to be a creative, enterprenurial little spitfire. Who wants a kid that plays quiet? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2673087 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 03:13:38 +0000 Cherrybee 2673087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jhd: that's an amazing idea.... But I really don't want to! Chores are pretty much my only time for a bit of independent thought! She actually likes helping with chores but she won't be satisfied with her own cloth or folding laundry beside me, she needs me to be actively facilitating whatever she is doing, while she talks at me non stop. </p> <p>Right now.... It's 8am. I've been up with both kids since 6 (DH left for work at 6.30). I have fed both children, changed bums, dressed E as a Witch (successfully navigated the "ride on my broomstick" "I don't want to, it's 7am" debate), supervised a poo (she can take herself but she won't if I'm here), done 4 puzzles with E and now I'm trying to drink my first coffee...... But E is kicking off because she wants me to fetch her pirate hat for her. It's on her bedroom floor, in plain sight, but she's claiming she can't find it because she wants me to be involved in her game. I've tried "ooh, there's treasure in your room, go find it" but unless I'm off the sofa it's no fun. </p> <p>I think I just need to go back to work (6 weeks to go). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2673083 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 01:23:58 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2673083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: i think you sound too fun! Lol<br /> Just kidding, that does sound exhausting, but what you figured out about her favorite style of play is really interesting! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2673081 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 00:22:12 +0000 jhd 2673081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: just wanted to add that I had a really creative friend growing up who always had these big ideas for our pretend play. I loved it. Maybe sometime in the near future her friends will be able to keep up with all her creative play ideas and I bet they will love it. Any way you could turn chores or other things you need to get done into additional opportunities for pretend play with her? Like you are Cinderella folding laundry etc or does she always prefer to pick the game? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2673072 Mon, 02 Jan 2017 23:15:51 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 2673072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: Just want to commiserate -- my 3-year-old is constantly after me to role play ridiculous stuff (he usually wants me to be Minnie Mouse in some very specific situation, and even dictates what he wants me to say, or react, etc etc) and it's exhausting. If I do it, he just wants MORE and if I don't he is relentless until I give in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672937 Mon, 02 Jan 2017 15:35:17 +0000 rockinghorse 2672937@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: Sounds like you are doing an amazing job! There are worse things than being your daughter's favorite person, right? :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672935 Mon, 02 Jan 2017 15:34:43 +0000 Silva 2672935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: You are a really amazing mom to get into those games with her so much. Its really hard! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672932 Mon, 02 Jan 2017 15:25:20 +0000 Cherrybee 2672932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jhd: thank you :heart: :heart: :heart: </p> <p>You know. I think I've cracked it. I think the challenge is that the type of play E enjoys cannot be done independently - because she loves make believe play. She can't even play with other kids right now because they don't play by her rules (she likes to completely dictate the game). Even at soft play, she wants to play make believe (the monsters are coming). </p> <p>I feel better thinking there might be a reason she follows me about thrusting cups of tea at me and begging me to play, other than being starved of attention. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672921 Mon, 02 Jan 2017 15:01:39 +0000 jhd 2672921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: it sounds like you are doing an amazing job. I hope this extra clinginess is just a phase and that you can settle into a good routine when she goes back to school. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672918 Mon, 02 Jan 2017 14:54:08 +0000 Cherrybee 2672918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just need to add that they had a series of "stay and play" sessions at school, in which parents could spend a couple of hours at school with their child, playing. There were five other parents at our session. All the other kids sat quietly with their parents reading, doing craft or counting. E had me dressing as a reindeer, she was an elf and another kid was Santa and we galloped around the class "delivering presents". :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672917 Mon, 02 Jan 2017 14:48:29 +0000 Cherrybee 2672917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: I obsess that this is the case (so perhaps it is?), but the only way to alleviate the need for connection/attention is to actively play with her. She won't just cuddle, she won't even let me read books to her during the day, she just wants to play shops or pretend to be a Witch (with me flying on the back of her broomstick or hopping about having been turned into a frog).</p> <p>She won't even eat food without it being a game - she won't just sit and eat with me, making small talk - she needs me to pretend to be a mummy owl and fly to the nest to feed her water voles (while feeding her). She managed three spoon fulls independently earlier (even though she was hangry) before she declared she had had enough.....I knew she was bored eating and wanted to play. She finished the whole bowl when I played the "how many spoons is that" game and counted the spoonfuls into her mouth. </p> <p>As I write this, I wonder if she has ADHD or something. But I know I'm just exhausted..... She flooded the bathroom today by ramming all the toilet paper into the toilet and flushing. She was only out of my sight for a few minutes.</p> <p>I wish I knew how to "connect" in a way we both enjoyed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672898 Mon, 02 Jan 2017 13:44:02 +0000 Kemma 2672898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just a thought but could it possibly a connection she craves rather than just your attention? And ya, the holiday break is tough o hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672844 Mon, 02 Jan 2017 10:24:29 +0000 Modern Daisy 2672844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is that same way and everything is closed now for the holiday so we have been house bound. A couple people mentioned this already but I have him help me with chores for most of the day which is at least a lot less mind-numbing than watching the same show over and over. I also stopped letting him nap so at least he goes to bed earlier. I can't wait for his nanny to get here tomorrow!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672841 Mon, 02 Jan 2017 10:09:11 +0000 rockinghorse 2672841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like my 8 month old is already like this, and I think it is partly my fault! :shocked: I have to be within 6 inches of her or she is crying. I need to sit her in her play pen with toys and get stuff done and just let her fuss for a bit, or it will probably just get worse! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672821 Mon, 02 Jan 2017 08:10:25 +0000 Cherrybee 2672821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the advice and commiserations everyone. It helps just to hear I'm not the only one dealing with this and that it's probably nature as much as nurture. I let myself worry that she is seeking attention because she is desperately deprived of it - I play with her for about fifteen minutes out of every hour. </p> <p>@Woolly Mammoth: I think you might be right, you know, that it's related to social development. We went to soft play today. She used to run off and play there but, today, she claimed she was "scared of monsters" and whined until one of us went into the soft play with her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672806 Mon, 02 Jan 2017 06:25:46 +0000 hellobeeboston 2672806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 4 year old was/is like this. He's just not good at independent play, and never has been. He's getting slightly better now that he's older and also because he can play more with his 1 yo brother.... but, I think that's just how some kids are. Our little one year old already plays alone better than big bro. </p> <p>We get out of the house on vacations a lot and do a lot of activities. Going to children's museum today. Trampoline park, even errands can be fun and something to distract. ' </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672793 Mon, 02 Jan 2017 01:07:26 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2672793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I have no advice but my four year old is on break and totally bored too. Her little brother wants to be held all day long and between meals and him and the crampy weather we have had and he colds we've had the poor girl has been cooped up and bored lately, but if we want to have a decently clean house and eat...I just can't spend the day entertaining her. :( We have a play date or two scheduled this week and next week it's back to school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672781 Sun, 01 Jan 2017 23:30:36 +0000 Alexandra603 2672781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't feel guilty not playing with her all day!! Being able to play independently is a hugely important skill! It's good for her to get bored and figure out something to do. I have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old. I do read to her a lot, set up activities and we will go places like the library together. But I don't really direct her play at all (go play with this, do this, etc) and I spend a significant amount of the day cooking meals, cleaning up, other chores, etc. Janet Lansbury has some great info on how you can encourage more independent play in your toddler. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672723 Sun, 01 Jan 2017 19:38:48 +0000 tiramisu 2672723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: my 2.5 year old DD is exactly like what you described. It is exhausting. If I'm not home my DH says she'll play by herself, but if I'm around she needs to constantly be near me. I can't even use the bathroom by myself. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672579 Sat, 31 Dec 2016 22:09:03 +0000 JennyD 2672579@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think to a degree it's nurture. </p> <p>My LO would always do something relatively independent for me but not for DH. He never asked her to play by herself or encouraged her to do things on her own, so even at 5, she always wants to play with him. But for me she can play alone for at least an hour. </p> <p>I think it depends on the kid. I also do a lot of things with my LO. Like putting away the dishes, cooking, baking, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672498 Sat, 31 Dec 2016 17:00:19 +0000 Anagram 2672498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: awww....some kids just want/need more attention. My sister's kids weren't coddled in any way, but they just weren't the type to play alone. My mom (grandmother to all of them) keeps exclaiming that it's so nice that my oldest will play alone because my sister's kids refused to. Like I can set up some playdough on a table and my M will just play with it by herself, but my sister's kids won't play at all unless she sits and plays too. It sounds like your oldest is the same. They are 16 and 11 now and are totally normal kids--they do not want their mom around at all times any more. So it does change at some point, but there's such a wide variety. She might not want to play independently for a few more years yet.</p> <p>My sister and her husband bought an enormous play structure for their back yard in attempt to get the kids outside alone to play--but they wouldn't play without their mom. They would just stand at the glass door and bang on it until she came outside with them. :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672431 Sat, 31 Dec 2016 12:40:51 +0000 Woolly Mammoth 2672431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO is three and he's going through a "play with me!" phase. He's always wanted me to be nearby while he was playing, but he would mostly play by himself. Right now he wants a lot more interaction, so it's hard to get a break.</p> <p>I think it's related to social development - he's starting to play with other kids more as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672430 Sat, 31 Dec 2016 12:19:00 +0000 SweetiePie 2672430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Exactly what @Mrs. Champagne: said. 20-30 mins once or twice a day. The rest of the time he's playing by himself. </p> <p>I'm really curious if this is nature or nurture with him. I'll admit that I find playing with kids stuff pretty boring 😜 So I've always kind of left him to his own devices, ever since he could sit on his own. I'd put him in an exersaucer or bouncer or on the floor with some toys and walk away. So I really don't know if his independent play is because he's an introvert like me or because of my neglect 😂 Obviously I say neglect as a joke. I engage with him all day! But I also try to do my own things (work or personal) throughout the day. </p> <p>That does sound exhausting, @cherrybee. Christmas break will be over soon!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672417 Sat, 31 Dec 2016 11:51:11 +0000 snowjewelz 2672417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have an attention hoarder too.. She just always wants us to participate! So with the newborn it's been tough; she gets upset when I can't move while nursing. I've just been enlisting family to come over and to take her out to do what I can't do with her... Also debating upping her hours at daycare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672400 Sat, 31 Dec 2016 11:42:37 +0000 jhd 2672400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This must be exhausting! I don't really have any advice. But my niece is like this. She is constantly "bored" when off school if she doesn't have someone to interact with all day long. Her younger sister plays really well independently. I don't think SIL has done anything differently with the two girls, they are just really different. I hope you can find something that works for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672397 Sat, 31 Dec 2016 11:35:55 +0000 Greentea 2672397@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, I think our kids are about the same ages. Honestly, I have to constantly engage her as well. Yes it get exhausting. So even if is painting, I have to be there for support, saying good job, etc., and to keep her safe, obviously. Do you have time you spend with just her? Does she get outside for exercise? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672389 Sat, 31 Dec 2016 11:21:01 +0000 Andrea 2672389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would get out of the house. Everyone needs a change of scenery. The weather might be too cold to stay out for long so we'll go run some errands. The library is also a good option in the winter months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672364 Sat, 31 Dec 2016 10:28:55 +0000 Silva 2672364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter is definitely naturally independent and will play by herself. But some times i can engage her by getting her to "help" alongside my chores- like give her a spray bottle of vinegar and a cloth and we clean the bathroom together</p> <p>I'm a big believer in not playing with my kid unless I'm actually having fun and want to. We play together and then I go do something else. If she is begging I will say "as soon as I.... we can... while you wait why don't you..." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-time-do-you-spend-entertainingplaying-withdoing-activities-with-your-lo#post-2672344 Sat, 31 Dec 2016 09:48:51 +0000 looch 2672344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We spend a lot of active time together. Over break, we've all been sick to some degree, but more or less these are our days:</p> <p>6 am: Wake up and start the day. I have been letting him play his iPad a bit, but that's over and done by 7 am.</p> <p>7 am: starts asking "what can we do together?" Usually I'll stall a bit and ask him to do some chores with me, like make the beds. That lasts about 15 minutes then he'll start asking to play his Osmo.</p> <p>8 am: asks for something to eat. Today, he ate breakfast while I made my smoothie. I took a shower, while my husband was programming on the computer and my son was playing with his train tracks right next to him.</p> <p>9 am: we do a bit of a project together. I've been able to introduce painting on canvas to make it last a bit longer, doing the background, messing up, painting it over, starting again, etc. We're on our second canvas this week.</p> <p>10 am: convince him to go out for a bit to help me do some errands</p> <p>11:30 am: lunch, they eat early at school so he's used to it now</p> <p>12:15pm: starts asking "what can we do together" all over again. I'll either take him to my mom's, sometimes we've eaten lunch there and he's happy to play with some toys there, or he will help my dad on one of his projects. </p> <p>2:00pm: we'll play outside for a bit, usually he wants to drive his car or run around on the playground.</p> <p>3:00 snack, and I'll try to get a 10 minute sit down session to calm down</p> <p>3:15: he'll ask what he can do, he's bored, so we'll go and play something, sometimes, he will ask to do "homework" so I have a bunch of age appropriate workbooks available so he can do a page or two.</p> <p>4:00: start thinking about dinner, since we're home, we're going to the grocery store a lot, to get "splurge" ingredients to make a nicer dinner. </p> <p>5:00 start dinner, set the table, he'll do this part.</p> <p>6:30: start shower/bath. By this point I am at the end of my patience rope, but I get a second wind knowing that in about 45 minutes, I can lie down and watch some Downton Abbey.</p> <p>7:25: kid is asleep, I can do whatever. Last night I was so tired I fell asleep, but I've been usually staying up to about 9.</p> <p>My son is my shadow, basically. I am typing this out and my husband and son are in the living room playing music. </p>