https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 21 May 2026 11:08:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572924 Thu, 23 Jun 2016 05:33:52 +0000 sometimesshesings 2572924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think the "cover your plate" idea is that prevalent in California, but maybe I'm wrong? Things tend to be a little less formal here. We haven't been to many weddings lately, but we typically give $100-$150. When we got married, our philosophy was that we were treating our guests, and we felt grateful that people would go out of their way to attend. Weddings are expensive for everyone involved! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572755 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 20:22:27 +0000 nana87 2572755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow these answers are a lot more than I usually give, and we're in NYC too (used to be in dc so also hcol!). We usually gift something from the registry between $75-125 depending on how close we are to the couple, and that was standard for couples in our age range at our wedding. The only people who gave us more than that are our parents' generation or older-- when we're like 50+ we'll give $200 but not before then. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572653 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 18:46:41 +0000 babypugs 2572653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kes18: Yep, a standard gift where I am is a $30 item off the BBB registry! It's rare to "cover your plate." I think I'd have to RSVP no to most of the weddings in other areas, but that said, looking at the options listed and what is seen as normal where you are, sounds $100-$150 would be okay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572640 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 18:34:03 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2572640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We usually do $200 but that's just if DH and I attend. Haven't gone to one with our son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572636 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 18:29:29 +0000 BSB 2572636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happygal: Oh, ok. Yeah, I've been to wedding where I was invited to the shower so no gift was given at the wedding and I have been to a wedding where I missed the shower or wasn't close enough to be invited... so in this case I gave cash at the wedding. </p> <p>Also, I usually don't know how fancy the wedding is before I arrive. I just know that when I was planning my wedding the cheapest I found was food was $75 per person and beer and wine bar was $30 per person. I ended up avoiding the alcohol charge and still supplied alcohol but without the per person charge. So given that I assume the average per person cost is about $75-$100 per person.</p> <p>Oh, I agree. I give more to closer friends and family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572622 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 18:08:40 +0000 Happygal 2572622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: I think we're on the same page here, but to clarify--I always give a gift (just hasn't been cash). But I don't base the amount spent based on how fancy the wedding is, if I'm with my spouse, husband, etc. We spend more for closer friends and family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572598 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 17:39:14 +0000 avivoca 2572598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, it never occurred to me to give money at the wedding on top of any gifts at the shower/wedding. But in your case, I would give $50, as you aren't really close. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572589 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 17:33:15 +0000 BSB 2572589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Happygal: For my wedding, I really didn't care about gifts. I just wanted their presence as a family or friend. But as a guest at a friend's wedding, how expensive things are and that they usually pay per person for food and drinks. So I guess I would like to give back by way of gift and also give them a nice gift to start their marriage. But yeah, my expectations for my wedding was completely different. Would I be shocked if some of my guests felt they HAD to pay their way? Yes. I would hope that that we were close enough and knew that I'm not about gifts.</p> <p>I guess if I invited my neighbor to my wedding and it was causally mentioned (versus a formal invitation mailed to me), I would probably tell them to come and bring the family and don't worry about bringing a gift. I think that's how I would take the gift expectations off their shoulders. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572587 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 17:30:03 +0000 dc yoga bee 2572587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We got married in Atlanta where we are from. $50 was the norm from couples, and some of the older couples/family friends gave $100, which we thought was really generous! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572584 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 17:24:51 +0000 coopsmama 2572584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>50 is the norm here, thank goodness! We couldn't afford more than that with great frequency - and get invited to lots of weddings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572579 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 17:20:01 +0000 Happygal 2572579@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't know people based cash gifts on how many people from their family attend the wedding. I always thought of wedding guests being....well, guests! I always buy from a registry and would match the typical amount we spend, which is around $100-150. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572575 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 17:16:55 +0000 BSB 2572575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say at least $150. For your situation, if it was just you and you DH maybe you could do $100, but since you are bringing two kids (and assume they have to eat, too). I said $150. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572572 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 17:13:48 +0000 stargal 2572572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Around here 50 is the norm for a couple </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572567 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 17:06:16 +0000 Bibliolove 2572567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I usually give anywhere from $50-$100. That's about what I got from people too, at my own wedding. I'm in the Midwest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572536 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 16:40:13 +0000 petitenoisette 2572536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In the past we've done $100 which has been on the low end for our area but what we could afford. We could do more now and we are actually going to a family wedding this weekend. I think I'll do $150 and we did a $50 gift for their shower. Would have done $200 if not for shower. Though I'm going to check with my siblings first to make sure we're not doing way more than them! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572531 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 16:39:11 +0000 youboots 2572531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's unusual for me to buy a registry gift over $100 or give more than that in cash. I think that's standard in the area. Most weddings over the last few years I've traveled for- Mexico, Hawaii, Central Oregon, we are going to Mexico for another wedding next year. I shot my uncles wedding as a gift last month. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572518 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 16:33:24 +0000 simplyfelicity 2572518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>HOLY GOODNESS! I feel so cheap! I was MOH last weekend and gave about $50 for the bridal shower, $30 for the bachelorette party, and $100 for the wedding. I also paid nearly $300 for the dress, shoes and hair. But I have also never heard of this "cover your plate" thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572481 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 16:14:03 +0000 dolphin 2572481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We usually give $300 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572441 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 15:48:11 +0000 fancyfunction 2572441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in NY and typically give $250 at least- more for close friends or family, but cash is pretty standard around here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572390 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 15:07:33 +0000 magnoliamama42 2572390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've never done cash gifts. Just a nice gift that was mailed or given at the bridal shower. And even then, I usually only spend $50-$75. I've never heard of the "cover your plate" culture. That is fascinating! </p> <p>I received cash gifts from very few people at our wedding (and it was a swanky affair), and it would have been a $50 max cash gift.</p> <p>If I gave $200-$300 cash gift at someone's wedding, they'd probably be calling me to ask if I'd made a mistake! Lol. That would also be a quarter of our food budget for the month, and we ain't poor! :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572384 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 14:56:41 +0000 SweetiePie 2572384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depends on how close I am to them. But if its neighbors daughter and I'm not great friends with them it would be somewhere between 100 and 200.<br /> For a friend we do anywhere from $200-500 depending on the relationship.<br /> For family anywhere from $500-1000. </p> <p>We've never been to a wedding with DS, maybe we'd bump up our normal by $50 or so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572376 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 14:53:02 +0000 NorthStar 2572376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kes18: Agreed. I rarely got more than $25 - $50 per couple/family. Yes, some gifts received were more than that, but the prices that people are putting out here are not the norm in our area. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572374 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 14:51:46 +0000 Mamaof2 2572374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572369 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 14:43:09 +0000 chopstixwife 2572369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Someone that i'm not close with $100. If it's close friends, then about $200-$300. Dude, I have three kids!!! Can't afford to be giving out more than that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572368 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 14:42:48 +0000 kes18 2572368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I live in the midwest (most of my guests were NOT from a major city but smaller towns or even rural areas) and people don't give that much- like $50 might be an average from a couple but many didn't give a gift at all or I got $5-$20 from an individual. The most I got was $200 from an aunt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572360 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 14:33:41 +0000 looch 2572360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I voted 300, that's my standard gift, assuming a sit down dinner and that I most likely didn't attend the bridal shower. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572359 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 14:31:51 +0000 regberadaisy 2572359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: LOL I think my inlaws were embarrassed at how little their family gave! Espy because in Chinese culture cash gifts are norm and we give a lot. So it was more stark. But we were just happy that his extended family that travelled to our wedding! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572355 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 14:28:43 +0000 MaryM 2572355@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It would depend on the relationship and location/type of wedding for me.</p> <p>In a "cover your plate" culture, I'd give more (but also if it's that culture, I imagine I'd have to be much closer to the person than living next to their parents to get invited)</p> <p>But I don't live in a place where "cover your plate" is the norm. I think it's more usual for couples to give $100, families *maybe* a little more. </p> <p>If I'm really close to someone, I'll give more than $100, but that's pretty standard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572354 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 14:28:33 +0000 skipra 2572354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have a set amount because it depends on whose wedding and where it is. I would probably try to do about $150 if we were bringing the kids to a neighbor's wedding or $100 if it was just us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-much-to-give-at-wedding#post-2572343 Wed, 22 Jun 2016 14:19:15 +0000 Trailmix 2572343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I live in NYC and the norm for our circle is $150 per couple. I would do something between $150-$200 for your family. </p>