Hellobee Boards Topic: How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?

Hellobee Boards Topic: How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Jul 2026 19:58:08 +0000 Smurfette on "How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-force-your-lo-to-do-something-they-dont-want-to-do#post-2308235 Thu, 01 Oct 2015 20:41:36 +0000 Smurfette 2308235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We have tears pretty much every night when I saw it is bedtime. Tonight was even more epic. Applesandbananas on "How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-force-your-lo-to-do-something-they-dont-want-to-do#post-2308219 Thu, 01 Oct 2015 20:36:45 +0000 Applesandbananas 2308219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pretty frequently. Car seat and teeth are the top two! irene on "How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-force-your-lo-to-do-something-they-dont-want-to-do#post-2308217 Thu, 01 Oct 2015 20:35:14 +0000 irene 2308217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ You are such a sweet dad. I force my son to do something that he doesn't want to do literally every day, sometimes a few times a day. Such as, washing hands with SOAP after using the potty. Or even, wiping your butt before you get out of the potty. I've seen my friend does this to her 3 year old which I tried too and it works 65% of the time. If she doesn't want to wash her hands, tell her ok don't wash her hands because it is now MY TURN to wash MY HANDS. She doesn't get to wash her hands anymore because now it is MY TURN. Then she would probably go no, I want to wash my hands first! There you go. At least it works for us most of the time. birdofafeather on "How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-force-your-lo-to-do-something-they-dont-want-to-do#post-2307894 Thu, 01 Oct 2015 16:40:44 +0000 birdofafeather 2307894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ many times a day! i mean, she's 2.5, so safety and other things are non-negotiable no matter how much she fights it. Rockies11 on "How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-force-your-lo-to-do-something-they-dont-want-to-do#post-2307889 Thu, 01 Oct 2015 16:35:06 +0000 Rockies11 2307889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I try to keep it to a minimum, and try play-based approaches to try and get around refusal. Like the getting dressed thing - I chase around after her and pretend to be the clothes monster coming to get her, which she digs. But I absolutely am not above forcing any type of safety issue - buckles in the car seat when she's screaming, holding hands in the parking lot. Ditto with medication. I have a harder time with things like hygeine. With teeth I usually let her brush herself and I just do a quick finish, which she doesn't love. Right now she's in a shower/bath refusal so I have been undressing her and washing her down with soapy sink water, and then just putting her hair up. I find with things like that, the more we force, the worse it gets, whereas if we minimize it and don't turn it into a big thing, it tends to pass. PurplePeony on "How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-force-your-lo-to-do-something-they-dont-want-to-do#post-2307884 Thu, 01 Oct 2015 16:25:19 +0000 PurplePeony 2307884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Daily. She hates getting dressed lately (even the "give her a choice" trick is a big fat fail) and going to daycare naked isn't an option. Modern Daisy on "How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-force-your-lo-to-do-something-they-dont-want-to-do#post-2307866 Thu, 01 Oct 2015 16:08:41 +0000 Modern Daisy 2307866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Multiple times a day. I always give him a choice first and I tell him that we have to do it after I count to 3. Sometimes that works, but at least 50% of the time I end up forcing him. Mama Bird on "How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-force-your-lo-to-do-something-they-dont-want-to-do#post-2307809 Thu, 01 Oct 2015 15:12:25 +0000 Mama Bird 2307809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We've forced DS to wash hands and brush teeth a few times. I felt really bad, cause he only refuses if he's really upset or getting sick, but I don't want to open the door to it being optional. And if he refuses to use the potty before bed, I either try to find out what's bugging him and make him feel better, or put bedtime on hold and walk away until he reconsiders... depends on how much patience I have at the moment :sad: But he gets lots of praise and reassurance once he does what he has to do! looch on "How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-force-your-lo-to-do-something-they-dont-want-to-do#post-2307750 Thu, 01 Oct 2015 14:05:17 +0000 looch 2307750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I actually refused to force my son to brush his teeth...I think oral health is very important but I would not accept pinning him down and then holding his mouth open and brushing. Instead, I just tried not to make a big deal and kept modeling good behaviour. For us, it's a trust issue. Mamaof2 on "How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-force-your-lo-to-do-something-they-dont-want-to-do#post-2307747 Thu, 01 Oct 2015 14:02:18 +0000 Mamaof2 2307747@https://boards.hellobee.com/ too many times I can't count how many times I have told my kids "Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do" :bummed: ElbieKay on "How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-force-your-lo-to-do-something-they-dont-want-to-do#post-2307744 Thu, 01 Oct 2015 13:58:56 +0000 ElbieKay 2307744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I have found that my son (18mo) responds really well to a countdown. If I just tell him we have to change his diaper and grab him, he gets pissed. Instead, I say, "You need a clean diaper. Let's count to ten and then it will be time to change your diaper." He usually counts along with me and then once we're done he is ready to go. LuLu Mom on "How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-force-your-lo-to-do-something-they-dont-want-to-do#post-2307725 Thu, 01 Oct 2015 13:37:09 +0000 LuLu Mom 2307725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Clothes are a big thing with us, so if she leaves the house in pink polka dot pants and a green striped shirt because "she likes it", I just deal with it. As long as it's weather appropriate I pick my battles. However, healthy stuff is non-negotiable and we force it. I will hold her mouth so she takes her stomach medicine, force her brush teeth twice a day, ect. I think the repercussions of not doing it are worse than forcing her to do it. avivoca on "How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-force-your-lo-to-do-something-they-dont-want-to-do#post-2307716 Thu, 01 Oct 2015 13:33:00 +0000 avivoca 2307716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Some things I will force her to do (put on her jacket, pick up her toys/crayons/whatever). Other things we will put her in time out and she will usually do what we ask or answer the question when she's out of time out (i.e. "I eat at big table" when we tell her that she cannot eat her dinner at the coffee table). I also try to give her a choice in a lot of things, like if she wears pants or short, which two shirts, what color shoes, etc. I never have to force her to wash her hands though. Girlfriend loves to wash her hands. hilsy85 on "How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-force-your-lo-to-do-something-they-dont-want-to-do#post-2307708 Thu, 01 Oct 2015 13:29:45 +0000 hilsy85 2307708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Ugh I hate doing this, but I especially hate it when ti's something I can't really force, like using the potty. We force-wash his hair in the bath every other night, because he hates it. And I will force-wash his hands before meals if they are really dirty (otherwise I might just use a wipe and avoid the battle). Those are the big things. And getting in the stroller or getting dressed if we need to be somewhere in a hurry. ShootingStar on "How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-force-your-lo-to-do-something-they-dont-want-to-do#post-2307704 Thu, 01 Oct 2015 13:26:31 +0000 ShootingStar 2307704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We have this fight every day about getting dressed. I try to leverage the whole "give them a choice" thing. So I'll tell him you can get dressed on the floor or on the bed, which one do you want to do? Maybe about 1/2 the time that works. I have a few other things I try (distraction or trying to convince him if he wants breakfast he should get dressed) but if those don't work I force it. He can't learn that if he says no all the time he gets his way. Occasionally we force other things too - nose wiping, putting on shoes, etc. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Mae on "How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-force-your-lo-to-do-something-they-dont-want-to-do#post-2307663 Thu, 01 Oct 2015 13:00:07 +0000 Mae 2307663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My LO is 16 mo so.... a lot lol. I mean we're going to do the things we need to do whether she wants to or not. Sometimes she is cool with diaper changes and getting dressed and moving between rooms and washing hands and me cooking dinner (ok rarely on the last one) and sometimes not... but those things need to be done. So... meh. Adira on "How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-force-your-lo-to-do-something-they-dont-want-to-do#post-2307581 Thu, 01 Oct 2015 12:02:18 +0000 Adira 2307581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We do the same thing - forcing it. I view washing hands (especially after going potty - we're potty training!) and brushing teeth and inhalers non-negotiable, so if I have to hold Xander down while he screams to get it done, I will! I'm finding that over time, he seems less resistant and just lets us do it (or does it himself) just to get it over with. Although some days, we still fight! mrbee on "How often do you force your LO to do something they don't want to do?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-you-force-your-lo-to-do-something-they-dont-want-to-do#post-2307561 Thu, 01 Oct 2015 11:50:13 +0000 mrbee 2307561@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yesterday my daughter wouldn't wash her hands before dinner. She will eat with her hands sometimes so after cajoling failed to achieve my goal, I just squirted soap on her hands and washed them quickly over her protests. She immediately threw a huge tantrum, but recovered within a minute or two to eat dinner. I am really trying to minimize the number of times I force the kids to do something (wash their hands, brush their teeth, etc.), but it's hard because to me those things are non-negotiable. Should I just tell her she can't sit at the table with us until she washes her hands? Because she doesn't like dinner anyway, so would probably be fine with that. How do you deal when your kid refuses to do something that you deem non-negotiable?