Hellobee Boards Topic: How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?

Hellobee Boards Topic: How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 14:49:08 +0000 caterw on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766449 Wed, 09 Aug 2017 20:51:53 +0000 caterw 2766449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ All the grands are an hour away- we FaceTime or talk to my mom pretty much daily and my dad weekly (they are still married but he isn't a chatter). ILs like maybe monthlyish? We always initiate too and it drives me bonkers. They always complain that they never see our kids but they NEVER call them or ask to see them. JCCovi on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766406 Wed, 09 Aug 2017 17:40:30 +0000 JCCovi 2766406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We talk to my parents and my mother-in-law roughly 5 times a week. We only talk to my father-in-law every couple months. looch on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766318 Wed, 09 Aug 2017 13:58:31 +0000 looch 2766318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @kiddosc: My MIL is like that with my SIL's kids. They live like 2 houses down though, so it makes sense that she sees them more. My brother lives far away and my son sees my parents every day. When they visit, I try to give them as much time together without us there as possible. nana87 on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766311 Wed, 09 Aug 2017 13:55:29 +0000 nana87 2766311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My parents are long distance some of the time (split their time between 2 homes) and when they aren't around they FaceTime pretty regularly. Lo1 is 3 and often asks to call them and send them "silly guys" aka text them emojis :silly: she talks to them at lease a couple times a week if she doesn't see them in person Mil... I think she would be interested if we initiated but she doesn't. She went for a 6 month period last year where she didn't see or barely speak to us at all (few convos w dh but not me or lo at all...). She is pretty narcissistic so can't really get outside her own perspective and dh/I are trying to stop letting ourselves feel constrained by her guilt trips. If she doesn't make the effort, I sort of don't care. Lo1 asks about her but it's not my responsibility to do all the work to maintain the relationship ShootingStar on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766264 Wed, 09 Aug 2017 12:40:21 +0000 ShootingStar 2766264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My parents are long distance and we FaceTime every couple of days. Usually they call on Sunday and then we talk a few times throughout the week too. When I did mornings on my own with DS he used to ask to talk to them almost every day. They love it. We don't Facetime with my ILs. They are local but only see them once every 1-3 months. I'm just fine with that :wink: . periwinklebee on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766256 Wed, 09 Aug 2017 12:16:53 +0000 periwinklebee 2766256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @PawPrints: I have exactly this arrangement with my parents, and have for years. I love it. When I was a kid there were always hard feelings because my grandparents would visit our town (where my dad and several of his siblings live) once/year for a brief period, whereas they would visit my grandpa's wife's kids for a much longer period multiple times per year, despite the fact that they lived further. It never really bothered me or any of the kids, I enjoyed seeing my grandpa and he always took an interest in the kids while he was there and made us feel loved, it was just a normal thing that he wasn't around much. It upset the adults much more because they felt very snubbed by their stepmom. All just to say, I think we worry about the kids but often these things hurt the adults much more :heart: avivoca on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766247 Wed, 09 Aug 2017 12:03:07 +0000 avivoca 2766247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @kiddosc: Yes. It's ridiculous. When I went to college, my parents told me to not call more than once a week. My then BF (now husband) and BFF both called their parents every day to talk. It's so different from the way I was raised (and I think my parents just wanted to give me a chance to spread my wings a bit). kiddosc on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766190 Wed, 09 Aug 2017 10:43:14 +0000 kiddosc 2766190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Littlebit7: Yea, She's super into my SIL's kids. Attends all baseball practices/games, does school pickup every day for the older child and provides childcare 3 days a week for the baby. @looch: I can imagine a language barrier only makes it even more difficult. @avivoca: Every day! wow! @JerricaBenton: I know she has her own things going on and worries about interrupting our schedule. But I think of initiating more in the sense of shooting me a text that says "I haven't talked to you all in a long time, when's a good time to chat." Which is similar to the kind of text I send her... when I remember :silly: I definitely don't absolve myself of responsibility in this situation either. I know that I've been terrible about keeping communication open too. lamariniere on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766171 Wed, 09 Aug 2017 09:41:05 +0000 lamariniere 2766171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We live far away from everyone. We probably FaceTime about once a week or so with all the grandparents. JerricaBenton on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766147 Wed, 09 Aug 2017 08:10:59 +0000 JerricaBenton 2766147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My ils live far from us. We visit once or twice a year and don't ever really skype. They call or we call but not super often, maybe once a month. Dh isn't super connected to his family so he doesn't really have an issue with it. I think people with young children think the older grandparents are less busy, should be initiating most of the contact, but the feedback we get is like, oh you all are so busy, I never know when to call... so idk. We're all responsible. I used to be sad to think lo wouldn't know or be close to that side but as she's gotten older, she definitely knows and loves them and it's not at all weird when we visit. Also, at 4.5 she'll adk us to call grandma and that's great because it isnt always in the forefront of our minds. And I mean, I had long distance grandparents and obviously there was no skype and I can't even really recall talking on the phone in between visits but we still had a nice relationship. avivoca on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766144 Wed, 09 Aug 2017 08:04:46 +0000 avivoca 2766144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My inlaws live 4.5 hours away and prefer to FaceTime every day. When my husband is gone, I shoot for once a week because I hate FaceTiming people and they hardly ever initiate. Mrs. Lemon-Lime on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766131 Wed, 09 Aug 2017 07:32:48 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2766131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ MIL is great about FaceTime, we generally do it 1-2 times a week depending on how busy we are. Sometimes even more than that. My mom is about once a month or even longer and I have to initiate. We have never video chatted with FIL. Ajsmommy on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766128 Wed, 09 Aug 2017 07:26:47 +0000 Ajsmommy 2766128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We are long distance from my mom. We video chat probably once every 2-3 weeks. I always initiate (probably bc my mom doesn't know how to!! ). Sometimes we go longer in between bc i'll call and she might not be available or something and we are very busy so it's just random times that I call. We don't have a set time or anything, although I actually like that idea of having a call with her every sunday night or something like that. Maybe i'll try to start doing that. looch on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766117 Wed, 09 Aug 2017 06:40:15 +0000 looch 2766117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My husband's parents live abroad and we have a "language barrier" in that we have to talk and can't write each other's main language (we can't text because I can't spell German and my MIL can't spell English) so that makes it a bit more difficult I think. Anywho, we used to Skype my inlaws pretty regularly, but this year we've really fallen off the wagon with it. My son used to ask to Skype my MIL, my husband set up one of those cameras that goes over their TV and taught my MIL how to use it. She doesn't usually ask to talk to us, but I don't have a problem with it, it's not worth it to me to ask because I know the answer is going to be "with the time difference, we don't know when you are at home" and "everyone is so busy on the weekends." Littlebit7 on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766044 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 19:43:26 +0000 Littlebit7 2766044@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @kiddosc: we have this issue too. We have no issue with my parents. They visit often (8 hour drive) and FaceTime probably once or twice a week. My in laws are another story. Their other grandkids are local. They are a 6-8 hour drive from us. They see the other kids probably 4-5x a week, provide child care often. Etc etc. They practically never call us. Maybe 1 or two times a month. Never FaceTime. Their internet sucks so it's always frustrating whenever we try to ft them. They don't offer to visit much either. They talk around it "oh we should come up sometime" and I stress they are always welcome. But they never do. We've lived at our current place 4 years and they have visited..umm twice for less than 72 hours total All that being said..it's obviously easier for me to chat with my mom than my MIL. So I do call her more often. I was/am more taken aback because she is SO into being a grandmother and lavishes attention on her local grandkids and my kid, at almost two and a half, barely knows who she is. . erinbaderin on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766037 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 18:52:30 +0000 erinbaderin 2766037@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My in-laws are in England, and we try to call them most weekends. They never initiate a call, which is irritating, but I think they feel like they don't want to bug us or interrupt something. I've come to terms with it, though, and just realized that if we want the boys to have a relationship we're going to have to make the effort. PawPrints on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766017 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 17:44:16 +0000 PawPrints 2766017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Miss Ariel: It was a tradition passed down from my dad; he always called his mom on Sundays at 5pm because that's when the long distance rates dropped down :) ScarletBegonia on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766016 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 17:42:12 +0000 ScarletBegonia 2766016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We live in Australia and my parents are in Canada. We FaceTime probably once every 2 weeks on average? Sometimes more and sometimes less. They usually visit for about 6 weeks at a stretch, and after those visits we're sick of each other so we don't talk as much! We also text probably daily/every 2 days and I send them lots of pictures and videos. Miss Ariel on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766015 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 17:41:54 +0000 Miss Ariel 2766015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @PawPrints: that's exactly what happened when I went to college and continues today, Sunday night and all! Miss Ariel on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766011 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 17:36:27 +0000 Miss Ariel 2766011@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Rarely, but a lot of that is me. My dad lives cross-country from me and talking to him is not enjoyable and stressful for me. We have a "scheduled call" once a week but it's after bedtime and that's enough for me. I do think if my mom was still alive things would be a lot different though. PawPrints on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766008 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 17:27:18 +0000 PawPrints 2766008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I've had a setup with my parents since the day I left for college: I call them every Sunday, they never ever bother me. It's a beautiful system since I get to pick the time that's convenient for me, and they never do anything so it's easy for them. When DD got old enough to use Skype, we just stopped the phone calls and switched to Skype with DD. Couldn't be easier, no passive aggressive stuff with hoping someone else will initiate. And yeah, it makes a universe of difference. She knows my parents just as well as DH's parents, who are local. All because of Skype. kiddosc on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766004 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 16:43:59 +0000 kiddosc 2766004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @SweetiePie: She doesn't have to initiate, but I'd like to see some interest out of her. Like the occasional " I haven't talked to the kids in a long time, lets chat sometime this week" Or "I haven't visited in a year, when's a good time to come." :silly: If I didn't try to set these things up, they would never happen... and the day to day of dealing with two young kids and working full time means this is #462 on my list of things to do for the day. She's a good person, we get along, and we saw her frequently when we lived nearby. I'd just like my kids to have a relationship with their other set of grandparents.... a relationship that I'm not the only one working for. ETA: I mean, DH could def step up a bit too in all of this :wink: SweetiePie on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2766001 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 16:34:50 +0000 SweetiePie 2766001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My parents are long distance and we talk to my mom on FaceTime once a week, on average. Sometimes more sometimes less. My dad ends up being maybe once a month if he happens to be in the room. But, it's because I make the effort, they don't. It's not that they don't care, I think they just don't think about it. It doesn't offend me. I have to ask, why does your MIL have to initiate the FaceTime/Skype calls? If you want to talk to her more or want your kids to talk to her more, just do it. Or don't tell her she needs to start bugging you more about it. Just say you'd like to set up a weekly or monthly FaceTime so that you know she'll answer. But personally, I don't get WANTING to FaceTime your MIL 😂 Mine is actually in my home every week (4 hour commute round trip every week for a 2-3 hour visit) and I'd kill to have one that lived far away and never called. Dahlia on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2765998 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 16:27:02 +0000 Dahlia 2765998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DD is 2 and it's made a huge difference. She asks to call my parents all the time and talks about them in her daily play. She can pick her other grandma out of a photo, but that's it. Some of it is probably the grandmas' personalities, but I'm sure a lot of it is the frequently calling. I usually just FaceTime from my computer, so it's open in the playroom and then we just let DD play and interact as she wants. So it's not like finding time for a formal call, it's kind of like being together on a normal day. MrsBucky on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2765997 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 16:24:44 +0000 MrsBucky 2765997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'd say we average about once a week for each set. We initiate almost all FaceTime calls, each to our own parents. I try to FaceTime his parents when he is gone for an extended period, though- maybe 2-3 times per year. kiddosc on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2765996 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 16:20:45 +0000 kiddosc 2765996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Dahlia: Your point is sort of my motivation. We're planning to visit over Christmas, but my youngest is 1.5 now and has only seen these people two or three times in her life. I feel like their feelings will be hurt if we show up and she (understandably) treats them like strangers. peaches1038 on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2765993 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 16:07:16 +0000 peaches1038 2765993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @kiddosc: i feel ya. DH doesn't seem to care either and I'm not going to be the only one to try to make it work. I recently just decided that I'm not going to put in any effort and I actually feel a lot better. I just don't have any expectations anymore and now I can't get hurt or disappointed. I do feel bad for DS though. He's too young to notice now, but I know he will when he's older. kiddosc on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2765991 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 16:02:22 +0000 kiddosc 2765991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ This is interesting, it sounds like most people get in at least once a week or so. I think realistically I could aim for twice a month. @peaches1038: This is kind of where I am. MIL is very involved with her local grandchildren and I'm still coming to grips with my feelings about that. I asked DH if he had talked to her about coming to visit and he was like "why?" So between her not showing any interest and him not caring... why am I the one worried about this?! Dahlia on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2765987 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 15:38:13 +0000 Dahlia 2765987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We FaceTime with my parents almost daily. My MIL is not so good with technology, so with her it's just a few times a year when she's at one of my BIL's houses. It's amazing the difference it makes. DD knows and loves my parents, and my MIL is almost a stranger to her, even though they've spent about the same about of in person time together. peaches1038 on "How often do your LOs talk to long-distance Grandparents?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-do-your-los-talk-to-long-distance-grandparents#post-2765985 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 15:32:51 +0000 peaches1038 2765985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We live 12 hours from both sets of parents and are about to be on opposite coasts. We FaceTime my parents 1-2x/week at least and see them 5-6x/year. DH's parents is like 2x/year for facetiming and maybe 1x/year for visits. I have stopped trying to initiate or bug DH about it. They don't text and barely respond to the emails I used to send with pics and updates, so I stopped. They are nice people but are more interested in their local grandchildren. If they don't want a relationship, then whatever.