Hellobee Boards Topic: How often is date night?

Hellobee Boards Topic: How often is date night? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 03 Apr 2026 18:42:45 +0000 AB810 on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night/page/2#post-2846200 Tue, 18 Sep 2018 17:22:16 +0000 AB810 2846200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We usually hit about once a month fun date with family help. It would be more but we use family for childcare for other things like child free school events/classes we take on the same night. I wish we did once a week! looch on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night/page/2#post-2845834 Mon, 17 Sep 2018 10:32:33 +0000 looch 2845834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I would say it's every other month or so. We fell into a rut of just going out to dinner but now, we are instead doing a physical activity. As an example, our son has an activity on Saturday morning, so we are going to use that time to play a game of tennis or run. We also do one large family event per quarter, like a seasonal performance, so we tack dinner onto it and depending upon how far it is from home, we get a hotel and stay overnight. That makes it more of a treat and feels special. Those are two ways we don't have to use babysitters or family. Otherwise, we use my parents and we typically will get an early reservation and go to dinner on the way home from work one night. We also used to do lunch dates, but since my husband's been travelling so much, we haven't been able to do that. And, when he's travelling, we set up Skype dates, where we do workshops and things to strengthen our relationship. mdf106 on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night/page/2#post-2845829 Mon, 17 Sep 2018 10:24:25 +0000 mdf106 2845829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It is very irregular and varied. Our parents live out of town, but visit pretty regularly, and we go out at least once when they visit, often multiple times in a week. My parents try to visit four times a year, with one being a longer visit, but have visited much less in the past two years due to health problems. My in-laws are closer and generally come every month or two. We also have a high school babysitter who lives in our neighborhood that we pay to watch the kids. She is involved in a sport and often unavailable due to that. We went out much less in the first year after each child was born, and did not hire a babysitter until the younger one was 18 months. I have high sleep needs and would only go once or twice a year if it had to be after the kids are asleep, but my kids are fairly easy to put to sleep. Anagram on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night/page/2#post-2845802 Mon, 17 Sep 2018 09:14:48 +0000 Anagram 2845802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Ours is about every other month, sometimes once a month. If our parents visit, we might do 2 in the same week. We have a regular sitter who already does school drop off and pickup, so we usually just use her. But she's 22 and has an active social life, so between the expense and her schedule, it usually ends up just being every other month. youboots on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night/page/2#post-2845765 Mon, 17 Sep 2018 06:17:30 +0000 youboots 2845765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We pay for a sitter every other week or so. We just moved cross country and have 0 unpaid help. We don’t do anything super fancy- just happy hour or trying a new restaurant in town. It’s pretty affordable since we are in a rural college town. Minimum wage is $10.40. cake2017 on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night/page/2#post-2845751 Sun, 16 Sep 2018 20:43:18 +0000 cake2017 2845751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Weekly! My mom helps with LO or one of my siblings! He is usually in bed so it’s pretty easy and free! We find it very important for the marriage and just another way to stay connected. Mrs. Lion on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night/page/2#post-2845653 Sun, 16 Sep 2018 06:15:06 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2845653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ When we got our first foster placement we hired our babysitter to come weekly on Fridays. We only go out for a couple hours but it has been the best possible thing for our marriage. Life with 4 kids is insane and it gives us intentional time to connect, talk about the week, make logistical plans for the following week, and just be grown ups for a little while. We don't have any free childcare from family so we have just accepted that this is an important thing we have to budget for. FaithFertility on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night/page/2#post-2845645 Sun, 16 Sep 2018 05:11:53 +0000 FaithFertility 2845645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ About once a month and my sister or MIL watches them delight on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night/page/2#post-2845621 Sat, 15 Sep 2018 20:31:54 +0000 delight 2845621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We probably get out once a month or so. Usually one of our moms will be over for dinner and we will ask her to stay a bit longer. We have a pub that’s close by and and will just walk down for a drink. Even if it’s just for an hour or so it is so nice to get out. We are fortunate to have both our moms in town who are quite happy to babysit for us. Alba4 on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night/page/2#post-2845563 Sat, 15 Sep 2018 07:15:21 +0000 Alba4 2845563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Champagne: I’m glad to hear that we aren’t the only ones who have never used a sitter. As our parents are aging, we are going to have to bite the bullet and hire sitters. Last year our parents slept over 2x a week so we would try to get out for a drink or dessert. This year we have no family help, so date nights aren’t happening, plus we are not in a place financially to go out to dinner a lot and pay for babysitters. Babysitters are paid $15-20/hr here. Littlebit7 on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night/page/2#post-2845539 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 20:06:31 +0000 Littlebit7 2845539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ LOL. Date nite. Ha. In all seriousness. DH has been working out of the country far far far away from over a year. He is pretty much always jet lagged and we have two very young kids. So when he is home, the last thing we want to do is go out. I look forward to taking my parents up on their offer to watch the kids for a week while we go away. wrkbrk on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night/page/2#post-2845488 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 14:48:10 +0000 wrkbrk 2845488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @irene: We try for once a month but it’s more like once every other month. We hire a babysitter. LadyDi on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night#post-2845483 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 14:37:09 +0000 LadyDi 2845483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ When we only had one child it was probably about once a month. It helped that we only worked a couple of blocks from each other so we would meet up for lunch sometimes too. Now that we have two and I stay home so we have less fun money it's pretty rare. We actually could probably go out more. We have 2 sets of grandparents and DH's sister very close by who are always willing to babysit. The grandparents used to help watch DS1 when I worked but now that I stay home they see the kids less frequently...I just need to get into the habit of asking them to babysit and we could probably go out more frequently. Adira on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night#post-2845446 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 11:44:43 +0000 Adira 2845446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We rarely did "date nights" before we had kids, so we rarely (never) do them now. We'll sometimes do "day dates" though where we'll take off work while the kids are in daycare/school and go to lunch and a movie. That's always fun! Mostly we reconnect at home after the kids are in bed though, which is basically what we did before having kids (the reconnecting just could start earlier in the evening before kids). muffinsmuffins on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night#post-2845438 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 11:08:09 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2845438@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DS is nearly 4 and we have a week old newborn so we won’t be doing date nights for a while! That being said, we did a lot while DW was pregnant with weekends away, weddings, dinner, movie matinee, etc with the in laws babysitting so I feel like we are good for a bit. We are lucky to have my cousin in the same city and retired in laws. Hiring a stranger weirds me out so I don’t know when/if we will do that...likely when kids are much older. What I plan to get back to is Friday date evenings: kid free dinner of something special either take out or prepared from the grocery store, a cocktail or beer, listen to a podcast or play a board game. Something other than just watching tv. My parents did this every Friday night growing up and we did it quite often before DS2 was born. I look forward to it all week even though it feels like not a big deal. Rocker2014 on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night#post-2845435 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 10:55:17 +0000 Rocker2014 2845435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We try to do date nights at least monthly, with a combination of free and paid babysitting. LO's preschool teacher babysits on the side and our parents will always babysit once when the come in from out to town (my in-laws did a weekend this summer and it was amazing!!). While a babysitter is insanely expensive, it is a priority for us (and balanced by the free months with grandparent care). My SIL has 3 daughters that love my LO (they're all a little older) so we trade overnight babysitting with them. They live an hour away so we can't do it that often, but all the cousins really enjoy it. Our date night activities can vary, but DH and I are very into music so most of our dates are for concert/live music events - sometimes with a group of friends and sometimes just us. Kaohinani on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night#post-2845432 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 10:47:00 +0000 Kaohinani 2845432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Date night? What is that? 😉🤣 My DH and I had our last one before DS was born 3.5 years ago! 😯 We are SOOOO due for one. That stated, we have "romantic nights in" after DD and DS go to bed so I can't complain too much. 💕 JJ2626 on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night#post-2845431 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 10:45:15 +0000 JJ2626 2845431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ LO is only 7 months so it’s only been about 3 months but we are aiming for at least 2x/month, though it’s been less so far. We have a full time nanny and she is happy to also come on a Saturday night so that’s what we do. We put LO to bed first and then go out. We don’t go somewhere fancy. I’d like to find another sitter besides the nanny because she already works a lot. We have no family nearby and date nights are really important to us-we were married for a long time before LO came along and we don’t want to lose what we had. I count going out with friends as date night too! 808love on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night#post-2845418 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 09:33:09 +0000 808love 2845418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I have a grandma and friends to trade watching. We are currently in a season of mandatory date nights about 3 times a month. (Sometimes we miss a week). It has been improving our relationship but the key is we try to do new things besides just go out to eat. This is a new season and I appreciate it so much. It took awhile to build up to this often and I did feel guilty at first for leaving Dd and spending money. smuckers on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night#post-2845414 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 09:23:06 +0000 smuckers 2845414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I voted Once a Month, but I wasn't thinking about it in terms of a "just us" date. For a "just us" date, I think the answer is *maybe* twice in 15 months. We have a friend group where we try to hang out and do a game night once a month. Usually my mom/step-dad will take DD overnight, but not always. Iced Tea on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night#post-2845401 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 09:08:01 +0000 Iced Tea 2845401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ When I was SAH, we only ever had one date. Now we both WFH and the kids go to preschool and daycare. So we do lunch dates, or some other daytime activity, about three times a month. This way we don’t have to pay more for a babysitter. lindseykaye on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night#post-2845376 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 08:35:36 +0000 lindseykaye 2845376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I voted once a month with free friend/family help. That's probably about right for an average - sometimes it's a couple times a month if that's when events are happening and sometimes we skip a month, especially if we've had a busy month prior or we know a busy month is coming up. We also do a similar setup to what was described on a recent blog post where we trade off with friends who have kids and almost exclusively go out after bedtimes so the kids are asleep and a friend will come over to just be at the house while we are out. It's always felt incredibly silly/wasteful to pay someone to sit on the couch and watch TV while we go out, so this is a great option for us and we have about 2-3 families we swap with. I think it's only been a couple times we've ever had someone come over early enough to do a full evening/bedtime routine with LO (she is almost 6). This does not count times she's gone to her grandparents for a weeknd, or times we are visiting them and they handle the night while we go out since those are atypical and already part of a vacation/visit setup. We tend to use date night to go to friends parties, concerts, or events around town vs. just grabbing dinner together or something. And we will every couple months plan for a home date night where we make something nicer for dinner after LO goes to bed, dress a little fancy, and make that into a date night. snowjewelz on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night#post-2845369 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 08:26:14 +0000 snowjewelz 2845369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Very rarely. We don't have extra $ to hire a babysitter. And currently my mom is pretty much at my house daily so we feel bad asking her for more. We probably can go on a date (day or night) maybe once a quarter? But DH essentially WFH/works for himself and my office is 20 min from home so we try to do lunch together 1-2 times a month. So that's how we "survive" until my mom doesn't need to help out as much and we can ask her for more side babysitting. I don't think (for us anyway) date nights are essential since we're creative to try (key word is try, haha) to take advantage of the 1-2 hours we have after bedtime/chores, and also take advantage of other opportunities (like lunch dates during the work week for us). Right now spending all that money to hire a sitter and on dinner would actually end up putting more strain in our marriage probably if I end up stressing out abouy finances. SweetiePie on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night#post-2845365 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 08:23:29 +0000 SweetiePie 2845365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @SweetCaroline: Same. We view it as an investment in our relationship/Family and if we are happy and make each other a priority we will be better spouses, parents, etc. It def stings sometimes to spend the Sitter money on top of the money to go out. But we feel it’s worth it for our happiness and sanity. Cheaper than a therapist 😂 josina on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night#post-2845361 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 08:12:12 +0000 josina 2845361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We've been going out once/week for over a year now... most every Thursday we just go out for dinner so a couple hours without he kids. Luckily my step-daughter is 15 so old enough to babysit - we have no other babysitting options so we would rarely get out without her. We do occasionally do date-day's where we'll go to a bigger town for lunch/shopping/etc. while the kids are at daycare. MrsADS on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night#post-2845360 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 08:08:06 +0000 MrsADS 2845360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Not often enough, that's for sure. We have a few issues: (1) my 3yo is in daycare already all day and I really don't want to leave him (especially w/a stranger) and definitely not for bedtime (he would be so upset). So that means we can only go after he's in bed, which means leaving at 7:30-8pm (so getting kind of late anyway). (2) $15/hour gets pricey quick if you add on dinner/drinks/etc (3) we have a 3 month old who is a terrible sleeper and I'm totally exhausted and the thought of going somewhere at 8pm is overwhelming. We *sometimes* can go out for short dates when my mom comes to visit (she comes every 4-6 weeks), but usually when she comes she helps take care of the kids during the day, and so she's pretty tapped out and not up for watching them at night. She also doesn't feel like she can handle the 3yo and 3 month old together by herself. When she does "offer", she will be like "well, why don't you guys run out to the grocery store or to Target together for a little date for an hour?" (like ok, but... that's not a date). So, idk what the answer is for us. I'm pretty bummed, honestly, that I feel like we can't ever do anything fun and I'm totally jealous of people who have family to help watch their kids. MrsBucky on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night#post-2845350 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 07:20:40 +0000 MrsBucky 2845350@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We shoot for once per month, but stuff sometimes prevents that. We didn’t hire a babysitter until my first was a year, and it was because we had a personal recommendation of a young professional who had been background checked, etc from a friend who had managed her. When we moved it took us over 6 months to commit to finding a sitter- we used care.com and love our current sitter, who is a young teacher. Sometimes scheduling just doesn’t work out, or now we just had a baby so it will be a while before we are ready to go out sans kids again. So once a month is the goal but it over the last 3.5 years it’s probably averaged out to once every two months. It’s definitely expensive, but we are grateful to be able to choose that as a priority, which I know not everyone can. We also do have my BIL and SIL who occasionally babysit for us, but I always feel guilty asking even though they are so sweet about it. irene on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night#post-2845349 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 07:19:24 +0000 irene 2845349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ This is very interesting to see how often others go out and what is the set up! Kudos to all of you who have family help. Both DH and I don't get along at all with FIL, so we very very rarely invite them to come visit us (MIL babysits while FIL does absolutely nothing while disrespecting and ordering people around like a king if they do come down) because it will drive me insane. Silva on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night#post-2845348 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 07:19:06 +0000 Silva 2845348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Rarely- but it probably comes out to about once a month. We can't afford to eat out a ton. My parents do help with babysitting when they can, but they live an hour away so its not easy for them to come for just a few hours for dinner. But every few months they take both of my kids for an overnight and we use that as an opportunity to go see a movie and get dinner. We had a babysitter twice this summer because my husband had an evening work event, and we had concert tickets. I can't ask my parents to babysit that late and then drive an hour home and we don't have great guest accommodations at the moment. Both evenings ended up being 5-6 hours for the babysitter, which means paying like 90.00 for babysitting. I don't mind, to be honest. Our kids go to bed early and we hang out in the evenings. This is just a season in our life together- when our kids are older there will be plenty of time for dates, and a little more money, too. irene on "How often is date night?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-often-is-date-night#post-2845347 Fri, 14 Sep 2018 07:15:23 +0000 irene 2845347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @lamariniere: Did you live in Hong Kong? If so I may need to ask you for advice -- we have to go back probably in one of the upcoming holidays to run quite a few family errands. It would be great if we could have a nanny to take care of DS while we do that! I just don't know where to find such temp "services" that is affordable and actually not shabby. Two of my friends also have 2 nannies. If they were to bring kids out to a restaurant the nannies come with them and they perform the mom tasks (eg. feeding, going to the bathroom, entertaining the kids...etc.). Even though I am not crazy about doing such tasks I feel that that's part of being a mom, so I don't envy that... besides I'd go crazy if I had to host two strangers in my small apartment (In Hong Kong, a "small apartment" is at least 3x more expensive than my house).