https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 01 Jul 2026 15:55:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-particular-are-you-about-your-friends-and-their-kids#post-2277714 Mon, 31 Aug 2015 10:42:56 +0000 AmandaB8 2277714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our best friend's kid is a hard kid - he pushes, shoves, kicks, and everything in between. We spend every Saturday night with them, but we try to make sure we run off energy the next day - be really busy to help "reset" DD. It seems to work so far! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-particular-are-you-about-your-friends-and-their-kids#post-2277544 Mon, 31 Aug 2015 08:22:43 +0000 ShootingStar 2277544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Luckily we haven't run into this yet, only a couple of our friends have kids. And they're all pretty little so everyone's behavior is "bad" to some extent, lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-particular-are-you-about-your-friends-and-their-kids#post-2277460 Mon, 31 Aug 2015 07:38:37 +0000 looch 2277460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will be honest, with kids my son's age, it's not an issue...yet.</p> <p>Where I do see issues is with older children, especially because they have different interests. It's challenging to bring my son to some family gatherings with older kids around, because they'll bring their (violent) videogames and my son will want to sit and watch with them. In those instances, I have to bring/organize an activity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-particular-are-you-about-your-friends-and-their-kids#post-2277427 Mon, 31 Aug 2015 07:11:25 +0000 honeybear 2277427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I came back to address the finding new friends part of your question: Yes, I think it can be easy to meet friends for you and your children and have everyone hit it off right away. I think the best place to find people you'll get along with and enjoy being around is doing things you like to do. If you like to swim, go to the beach or pool regularly. If you like to hike, go hiking and hang out for a while at the closest nature center/get to know the park rangers. The people who have also made time and effort to do the things you like to do already have some common ground with you, and that's a good place to start a friendship. In fact, this is how essentially all of my deep friendships have started. </p> <p>I tend to think the drop-off line at school, the playground, and the sidelines at whatever children's activity is popular are much harder places to meet real friends, because the only thing you definitely have in common is that you've got children the same age. Maybe you aren't primarily looking in these places for additional friends, but I see a lot of people who are, and those are the relationships that seem to me to be the most challenging to make stick. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-particular-are-you-about-your-friends-and-their-kids#post-2277225 Sun, 30 Aug 2015 21:10:40 +0000 Rocker2014 2277225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My best friend of 20 years has a drastically different approach to parenting than I do. I've been biting my tongue for the last 10 years when I see her with her son! Not being a parent, I never said anything, and it wasn't much of an issue for me until she adopted a little girl exactly the same age as LO. When they were both about 4 months old, I actually got us a bottle of wine and opened up a conversation with her about it -- I was truly afraid that parenting simultaneously would destroy our friendship! It was a good conversation and we've agreed to disagree. Our daughters are only 10mos now, so we'll see how it goes...I'm still nervous. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-particular-are-you-about-your-friends-and-their-kids#post-2277133 Sun, 30 Aug 2015 18:42:45 +0000 mrbee 2277133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had a play date with a kid who just doesn't listen to his parents, and it rubbed off on my son for over a week! Since then, we've been more careful about limiting play dates with certain kids... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-particular-are-you-about-your-friends-and-their-kids#post-2277035 Sun, 30 Aug 2015 14:30:26 +0000 Cherrybee 2277035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At this age (my LO is 2), no - or at least I haven't encountered anything that would make me want to avoid a child. I do, however, have an old friend with a seriously sassy 4 year old daughter.... read: is into "boys" (boy bands etc) and short skirts and says playing with toys is for "babies". It just makes me so uncomfortable and, if my LO was that age, I wouldn't want her playing with her. Childhood is precious. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-particular-are-you-about-your-friends-and-their-kids#post-2277016 Sun, 30 Aug 2015 13:29:02 +0000 Rockies11 2277016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have any friends who I would deem having children with bad behaviour out of the norm of a 2 year old, so I don't know what I would do in that situation. I do, however, have friends with a drastically different parenting style and I absolutely cannot spend time with them and their kids, or talk with them about any parenting topic no matter how casual. I am happy hanging out with just the kids though! </p> <p>I usually like hanging out with people with different parenting styles, but this is such an extreme difference that I just can't take it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-particular-are-you-about-your-friends-and-their-kids#post-2276999 Sun, 30 Aug 2015 12:08:40 +0000 Jess1483 2276999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had to change the dynamic of a friendship because of her son. He was really aggressive toward my son (normal toddler aggression towards other kids, but kind of bully-ish towards mine.) Luckily, she actually decided the boys needed a break from one another after the same incident I did, so since then we've hung out adults-only, or when my son is in preschool. The behavior (and the targeting) was really confusing to both of us, because her son really liked my son and was excited to see him, but we couldn't keep putting them together at the expense of my son. She even switched her day of soccer class so they weren't in the same class. I would have had a harder time putting the breaks on it myself (would probably have just avoided things passively), so I was really appreciative that she recognized the same behaviors and took measures to help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-particular-are-you-about-your-friends-and-their-kids#post-2276997 Sun, 30 Aug 2015 11:58:34 +0000 honeybear 2276997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sympathize. My LO is the same age, and it's definitely quite a bit different than when he was a baby and then a toddler. Even preschool was pretty easy. But the behaviors that come out at this stage are much more complicated. </p> <p>I notice children LO's age who behave badly--defined for my purpose as destructive or violent behavior--and I definitely don't hang out with them. Parents have a responsibility to monitor those situations, because children absolutely absorb the influences of those around them. </p> <p>It's perfectly reasonable for you as a parent to make a judgment if you see an influence that is violent or destructive and to respond to it. If you can talk to the parents because you have a good relationship with them, I might do that. But if not, it's okay to decide that you can't let certain influences remain in your life. There's a difference between making a thoughtful discretionary decision and being overly judgmental. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-particular-are-you-about-your-friends-and-their-kids#post-2276969 Sun, 30 Aug 2015 10:13:49 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2276969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @Truth Bombs: - it would have to be a pretty extreme situation for me to label one of my friends kids as "bad". And even if something got to that extreme, I would not stop a friendship with the friends. I would just only get together for adult outings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-particular-are-you-about-your-friends-and-their-kids#post-2276967 Sun, 30 Aug 2015 10:09:31 +0000 Foodnerd81 2276967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree- it completely depends on what the "bad" behavior is. We have friends who push or don't share as well, normal troublesome toddler behavior- obviously we still play with them even if my kid picks up on that a little. She's still too young (2) for most really bad behaviors I think. </p> <p>If it was something like a bigger kid really hitting or being mean, I'd probably limit the time we hung out with the kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-particular-are-you-about-your-friends-and-their-kids#post-2276966 Sun, 30 Aug 2015 10:04:47 +0000 Truth Bombs 2276966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It would have to be an extreme situation for me to label one of my friend's kids "bad" and quit hanging out with them. Unless I felt my child was in danger when we were all together I would just remind myself that all kids are different and one is not better than another. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-particular-are-you-about-your-friends-and-their-kids#post-2276965 Sun, 30 Aug 2015 10:02:45 +0000 winter_wonder 2276965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would hang out with old friends, but if the kids are bad influences I would just get together with them for adults only outings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-particular-are-you-about-your-friends-and-their-kids#post-2276960 Sun, 30 Aug 2015 09:40:52 +0000 rosegold 2276960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i feel like i have changed a lot since having my first child five years ago, especially concerning who i have hanging around. there is something that seems to be nagging at me, so i have a few questions for the bees...</p> <p>would you still associate with old friends that have kids even if you think their children are "bad" influences? </p> <p>how do you decide on new friends and their kids? is it ever as easy as you get along, the kids get along, the end? </p>