https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 01:20:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908477 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 20:44:26 +0000 agold 2908477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a very low maintenance friend, and my closest friends are low maintenance. We take a while to respond to texts. Sometimes immediately, sometimes days. Its hit or miss. We are busy working moms who don't like to have our phones glued to our hands. Its not a snub. Its just priorities. Sadly, texting isn't a priority. And conversing with anyone has, also sadly, moved down my priority list lately. Just no time. ETA: I do usually see my texts right away. If its from a neighbor asking for eggs for something she is making, I respond right away. If its someone who needs info to schedule something, sure, I respond timely. But if its a text about feelings or just something that makes me smile or just general chatting, or I see that it does not need a response right now, I respond as time permits. If its an alarming text from a friend, I will drop what I'm doing. But general stuff when there is no urgency, nope, not going to respond right away if I can't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908466 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 16:10:03 +0000 foodiebee 2908466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow this thread has been a bit enlightening. Hmm. Before texts, if I needed to ask a friend a random question, I'd call her. If she was in the midst of getting a kid to sleep, cooking dinner, etc., she'd let it go to voicemail. I'd know that she'd call me back when she could. I wouldn't think it rude unless some crazy amount of time went by. I'd understand that it wasn't a great time for her to jump on the phone. I guess we'd call that grace now, but somehow it just felt like common sense "back then"...? So why is it that we were more apt to extend this grace to each other then but now we demand that because *I* keep my phone by me 24/7 *you* should too? I say all this more in "thinking aloud" than anything else. I tend to answer texts pretty quickly, but I do put off replying if I'm in the middle of work or putting aside my phone to be really present with my family, and honestly, I expect my friends to respect this, just as I do/would for them. If they need something important, they'll call. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908455 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 13:26:54 +0000 hitchhiker 2908455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: Honestly, I think this isn't fair. A text is very different than an in person interaction. If I am in person with someone, I have chosen to be there and have prioritized the interaction. I have no control over when a text gets lobbed at me. I may be at work, I may be focusing on an interaction with my kids or my husband, I may be exercising. Picking up the phone to respond is not nothing - it breaks focus and it's easy for it to lead to unwanted phone time. I very much do not prioritize responding to texts ASAP if it's a disruption to what I am focusing on at the time. </p> <p>I do try to respond to all communications in a timely manner - like within a few hours or at least the day, but I want to be in control of my time. I have several long-term friends that are bad at responding to texts and emails, but I can tell from our other interactions that they value our friendship, and I value my time with them. So I try not to let the lack of replies stand in the way of our friendship. I will say that when I am trying to develop new friendships, I do prioritize responding quickly because they have no way of knowing whether I am interested in our relationship other than that quick turnaround time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908449 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 12:43:01 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2908449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cake2017: i would totally leave it for this friend of yours who isn’t replying. I would feel resentful if I kept texting and never getting a reply so I would drop it and see if they ever got back to me. If not, byeeee.</p> <p>As for people being busy: we are ALL busy ALL the time and I agree with you there. It becomes like this weird ‘busy olympics’ of who has the most going on at any given time and can’t text or email ever. I always find that I get annoyed when people use it as an excuse because it minimizes allllll the crap I’m also going through. But I can and will take 10 seconds to reply if someone asks me something. If I can’t give the answer of a date or time or something, I will at least acknowledge that I got their text and set a reminder to check into it later and get back to them. Maybe it’s weird but I treat texts as if someone I personally know and care about was asking me this thing in person: what would I say? Probably ‘oh thanks for asking, let me get back to you’ not just stare at them blankly and run away without saying anything :silly: Emails to me are way less personal and I feel get a 24-48 hour response window. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908444 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 12:18:45 +0000 Ms. RV 2908444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am really, really bad at responding to texts. A big part of the reason is that I keep odd hours. I typically sleep 8-4 so if I get a text while I was asleep, I don't want to answer it at 4am and wake the person up! Then by the time it is late enough to not wake up the person, I have forgotten about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908443 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 12:00:47 +0000 bhbee 2908443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Litebrite: if you figure that out post it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908441 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 11:24:11 +0000 Litebrite 2908441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cake2017: yikes, I'm definitely guilty of being a flakey texter and this thread has shown a light on how annoying it can be.</p> <p>If I dont respond immediately, I often forget to go back until days or weeks later. Some text threads are easy to reply to quickly and I usually do. I am going to check to see if there is a way I can have my phone remind me if I havent replied to a text in 12 hr. I feel like that would fix everything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908437 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 10:36:19 +0000 josina 2908437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am 100% with you on how annoying it is to not get a response. I will usually text right back, my phone is next to me all day, at home it might take a bit for me to see it, but I'll respond right away, it's not like it takes long!</p> <p>I have a friend who is horrible at texting back; but at this point I know its just her. She's also a hair dresser and we ended up going elsewhere so we don't have to deal with her lack of response. We would probably be better friends if she wasn't so horrible to communicate with!<br /> One of my sister's is the same, she has no good excuses, she just doesn't respond. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908435 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 10:35:10 +0000 Madison43 2908435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lindseykaye: @ElbieKay: yes to what these ladies have said. Most of my friends are juggling careers, small kids and other things so we give each other a TON of leeway with responding to texts, even falling off texts in the middle of conversations. You just don’t know what’s happening on the other side of the phone and then...people forget to respond. Also, I am making a concerted effort to detox from being glued to my phone, especially on weekends, so it’s entirely possible someone texts me on Friday afternoon and doesn’t hear back from me until at least Monday. I’d try not to take it personally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908434 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 10:34:16 +0000 graceandjoy 2908434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Didn't read all the replies but personally there are probably a few layers. Usually I try to respond right away, esp if it's family, or someone asking a question vs just chitchatting. Very generally, I think it's only polite to respond within 12 hours unless you were traveling, left phone somewhere, etc. </p> <p>My biggest pet peeve is like, even if it's a text you need time to think about before responding like maybe planning a get together, at least reply and say got your text, let me get back to you or something. I don't like the excuse of "sorry didn't see your text for days!" and meanwhile I know 90% of the time you did... </p> <p>So then that would go into the territory of needing to explore what is going on between you &amp; that person. </p> <p>BUT THEN I do totally understand sometimes people struggle with depression/anxiety and answering texts is a trigger. But then that's a whole other thing too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908433 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 10:20:26 +0000 cake2017 2908433@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: Oh absolutely! I’m very busy a work and can’t have my phone for luxury only emergencies so I get that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908421 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 08:50:54 +0000 ElbieKay 2908421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cake2017: I will add that in a few cases I have deliberately faded people who have overbearing or unreasonable expectations of me.</p> <p>And in certain cases I deliberately do not reply quickly all the time because I cannot afford to set the precedent. I know the individual will take a mile if given an inch. My mother is a good example. If I was available in real time via txt she would smother me. So I often pace my reply to be slow or just ignore because I can’t afford, logistically and emotionally, to be on call to her that way.</p> <p>Of course if there is an emergency or an urgent issue that is different. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908420 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 08:50:52 +0000 skinnycow 2908420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm bad about texting and I always have been. Luckily my friends know that about me and know it's not a personal thing.</p> <p>I usually read a text when I'm busy intending to respond later.... and then completely forget about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908418 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 08:44:47 +0000 ElbieKay 2908418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cake2017: I hear what you’re saying, and honestly 15 years ago I would probably have felt the same way. But she’s either your friend or she’s not. And she either will prioritize you as much as she can, or she won’t. You should judge that rather than her immediate ability to respond in a timely manner. Real life in my opinion should trump electronic correspondence. If real life interrupts her in the middle of the text chain, well that it should be OK.</p> <p>If I am texting with someone and I get interrupted, sometimes I don’t have a chance to get back to it until bedtime. And I just don’t always remember by then. It’s not personal. It’s just life. It is unreasonable to expect that you can dictate when someone should prioritize you over something else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908416 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 08:40:17 +0000 cake2017 2908416@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: that’s great your best friends understand. maybe i should say something to her as she is a close friend? I get that we are all busy with stuff. i hope i don’t sound inconsiderate cause i’m living it too. i just think a reply even it’s okay is reasonable </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908414 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 08:26:09 +0000 ElbieKay 2908414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so underwater on life. If you send a check in type of message to say hi I can usually manage a reply. If I can answer a question quickly I will.</p> <p>But if you want anything from me, especially if it’s to make plans, it takes me a long time to process. There’s too much calendar Tetris and childcare complexity in my life. Adding anything to the calendar that is not mandatory sends me down a rabbit hole of stress.</p> <p>I am going through a condo sale, a merger at work, settling my family into our new house and community, and of course juggling a full time job plus three young kids. And my 18mo twins are going through a sleep regression and refuse to wean. I am barely sleeping and barely keeping it together.</p> <p>My very best friends understand what it means to be extremely busy. And none of them have ever complained when I fall off the radar. Of course I give them the same space and grace. Everyone else can take their expectations and suck it as far as I am concerned. Mama has nothing left to give. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908412 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 08:21:32 +0000 Ajsmommy 2908412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I answer right away unless it's after 8 pm. Then it'll be the next time i look at my phone which sometimes is 1 am or 3 am or 6 am.... </p> <p>The only times i take a long time to reply is if i don't see the text or if i look at it in the heat of doing something (bath night/making dinner/bed time routine)so i look at it but don't respond right away then it kind of slips my mind... but I'd probably remember to reply within 24 hrs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908410 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 07:16:57 +0000 Becky 2908410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LadyDi: This is me. Usually it’s right away but sometimes it’s days (if it’s important or the middle of a convo right away). I have a friend that takes forever but she has 4 kids and one with special needs so it doesn’t bother me at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908408 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 07:13:04 +0000 cake2017 2908408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs.kiwi: I think a text is more personal than an email. IMO. Those that are on my phone i’m close with or care about- not to include docs or regular phone numbers. I agree times are tough and people are busy but it can come across rude and inconsiderate to ME! ha@Miss Ariel: This one person kept doing that to me but we were just getting to know each other. She wasn’t someone i was close with and or family etc. It was like weeks later and she would apologize but i took it as you don’t have time to invest in the relationship so maybe you don’t want to be my friend. Besides i always texted first so I stopped. Nothing and it’s a new year lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908405 Wed, 15 Jan 2020 02:33:37 +0000 mrs.kiwi 2908405@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Anywhere from a few seconds to weeks if I look at it and forget.... I always thought texts were more like “emails” and if it was super urgent I assume the person would call. I have a problem being obsessed with my phone like many of us but I do go through stretches of many hours without looking at it. Usually I respond within the day though since I tend to look through my phone at midnight before sleeping! </p> <p>@lindseykaye: yes I totally depend on the grace of others and assume they understand my life is crazy lol! And I totally understand if someone doesn’t get back to me for days, weeks, even months haha!</p> <p>I have to say if it is a deeper/sensitive conversation I think I do try to respond quicker. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908400 Tue, 14 Jan 2020 22:05:16 +0000 lindseykaye 2908400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know - I'm somewhere in between because I usually respond fairly quickly. If it's a question or check-in, or like pertinent to a shopping list or plans or something. Especially if we're in an actual conversation going back-and-forth. I won't just drop off of that for days... if I have to go during an actual conversation I will send a quick reply letting the person know.</p> <p>But like @Miss Ariel: and @lady baltimore: mentioned, if the notification gets bumped from my phone and I'm in the middle of 5-hours of meetings then yeah, I'm not necessarily going to respond right away. </p> <p>To be frank, I really need people in my life right now who give me that grace because things are just bananas most days and I work a lot. So when I am not working, I am trying really hard to be present with my family and not be on my phone. It sometimes takes me days to get back to people, and I often feel bad about that but I usually remember to thank them for their patience and we chat for a little bit and all is well :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908398 Tue, 14 Jan 2020 21:37:34 +0000 LadyDi 2908398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Usually right away, if I read something and don’t respond ASAP then I almost always forget to go back and respond. If I’m mid conversation and I stop responding or forget then I usually apologize. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908397 Tue, 14 Jan 2020 21:32:24 +0000 Miss Ariel 2908397@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A lot of times I get texts when I’m in the process of doing something else. I’ll plan to respond later, but a lot of times I’ll forget to and days will go by. Clearly I’m not very good at responding to texts! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908394 Tue, 14 Jan 2020 20:42:32 +0000 lady baltimore 2908394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try not to open texts when I am not able to reply to them, because once they are marked as read, I rarely go back and remember to look at them in a timely fashion. But if I have to open my phone for something else early in my work day and the text notification gets bumped, it can be five hours before I am without students and even have the opportunity to respond, and that's IF I remember that the text is there. Often I respond to things really promptly, but it is not unheard of for it to be several days, at least. I don't feel great when that happens, but I don't stress about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908393 Tue, 14 Jan 2020 20:28:04 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2908393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Right away and I totally agree with you that it’s rude. Personally, I think not texting or emailing within quite a short period of time is bananas because we all know everyone is glued to their phones all the time so take 30 seconds and reply. Huge pet peeve of mine. Maybe I’m lame and don’t have 300 texts and emails waiting for me all the time but I get super annoyed with this. Thankfully most people I know are quick repliers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908392 Tue, 14 Jan 2020 20:23:04 +0000 JCCovi 2908392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I usually respond right away but I have friends who take weeks or never respond. It drives me a little crazy but whatever. These are people I know well enough to know it's not a snub, just who they are. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908388 Tue, 14 Jan 2020 19:26:28 +0000 erinbaderin 2908388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I usually respond right away. Sometimes if I don’t want to chat I’ll wait a bit. </p> <p>I have a friend who routinely doesn’t respond to texts for weeks, and it makes me crazy. Actually it makes me feel like he doesn’t want to be friends with me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-quickly-do-you-respond-to-texts#post-2908387 Tue, 14 Jan 2020 19:08:38 +0000 cake2017 2908387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When someone let’s say a good friend or SO, family members text you how quickly do you respond????</p> <p>It’s a pet peeve of mine when one doesn’t get back in a timely manner- within the day for me. </p> <p>I get it. We are all busy, kids, meetings, errands, work etc but I always find the time to respond back via text- my phone is always close by because of the babies.</p> <p>Sooo, let me vent... TIA...</p> <p>I text a friend- we go back and forth about something important i write my feelings and it’s no response the rest of the day until five days later today- a follow up to my texts. </p> <p>I just feel like it’s rude. maybe i’m over reacting or just sensitive to the fact.</p> <p>I’ve had one person just respond two weeks later- i gave up after that and stopped texting. 🤷‍♀️ </p>