https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 16:15:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-avoid-nagging#post-258633 Tue, 14 Aug 2012 19:33:02 +0000 SleepyMonkey 258633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the feedback ladies. I get that I have to prioritize about what I want. Ultimately he is an awesome husband and I suspect he will be an amazing father, which is why I know I have to learn how to stop nagging and ask for stuff in a more constructive way or just let it go. I would love to just one day be able to let it go and not care about certain things. I think I've become so much better in the last year or two at being appreciative of him, but always looking to improve myself! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-avoid-nagging#post-258567 Tue, 14 Aug 2012 17:51:22 +0000 sorrycharlie 258567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure if this will help or not - but there is something I used with a couple I worked with.</p> <p>1) Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. For instance, "you keep leaving your laundry on the floor! I'm sick of looking at it!" is much more annoying than hearing someone say, "I feel frustrated when I see your dishes next to the sink instead of in it. Would you please just put them inside it so they can be rinsed?" Or something similar. When someone hears another person start out with, "You ---" they automatically get defensive (when being nagged or scolded..not if the person is saying "you are the best!" lol).</p> <p>I've also found with my husband that I have to ask him over and over and over, he just forgets. So I'll tell him that there is a list of things on the fridge white board and to please get at least A or B done. Having a visual helps remind him. I also try to ask in a more pleasant way - I've found that instead of me saying, "UGH! I've asked you to bring your damn laundry downstairs 80 times, what the hell!" if I say, "I know you're having a ton of fun right now but could you please grab that laundry?" he's more likely to do it.</p> <p>I know those sound really silly and almost insulting...but that's just what I've found to work for us. And we had a serious blowout over my nagging before I started doing that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-avoid-nagging#post-258544 Tue, 14 Aug 2012 17:11:01 +0000 heffalump 258544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just prioritize what I want done. I only nag for the important things so I don't become a nag all of the time, only when it's something that I really really really want. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-avoid-nagging#post-258543 Tue, 14 Aug 2012 17:09:21 +0000 MsLipGloss 258543@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JessLC: I don't want to seem to minimize your feelings regarding this issue, but ultimately, even though there are some things that DH does that annoy me (like opening packages in the kitchen and leaving them on the counter instead of throwing the packages away), I just let them slide because I don't want to *litter* our relationship up by sweating the small stuff, and because when I am objective about it, there are things I do that I am sure drive DH crazy (like leave my makeup all over the counter in the bathroom, or borrow his razor to shave my legs without telling him) that he never complains/nags me about. It's just a give and take, and making the decision to let it go.</p> <p>I don't mean to suggest that everything falls into this category, but when I think about the things that really matter in our relationship, the smaller things rarely fall into that category. When things really bother me, I have found that it is typically not the smaller issue/event that is bothering me and instead there is another issue that I need addressed for which the smaller issue is just serving as a conduit . . . if that makes sense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-avoid-nagging#post-258540 Tue, 14 Aug 2012 16:48:58 +0000 SleepyMonkey 258540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Calendar reminders might work for certain things but what about like...picking up his socks from when he leaves them all over the place? Stuff like that, I always feel like I'm asking him to pick them up. I don't want to do it because then he will never learn to pick up after himself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-avoid-nagging#post-258367 Tue, 14 Aug 2012 14:16:14 +0000 blackbird 258367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm always appreciative of when he does stuff....positive reinforcement and all that. I don't nag him, though...because I am the same way. I say i will do something, and I will, but I'll be damned if i do it right now just because you say you want it done now, ya know? </p> <p>And when push comes to shove, if i do feel like it's irritating me that he hasn't done XYZ yet, I do it myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-avoid-nagging#post-258336 Tue, 14 Aug 2012 14:04:00 +0000 MsLipGloss 258336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I ask DH to do things he usually does them within a couple of hours or so (if not right away). If he doesn't, I might ask him again (maybe the next day, depending on the task) or just do it myself. If I do it myself, he will get upset and rush over to help. I try to never nag about anything, which is what I feel like I am doing when I ask him to do things. DH says that he doesn't feel like I am nagging him, just that I am asking or reminding him, and that he appreciates the reminders because what bothers me/what I want done around the house is not usually anywhere on his radar. It works out well for us. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-avoid-nagging#post-258307 Tue, 14 Aug 2012 13:49:12 +0000 Lozza 258307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We keep various lists online that we can both access, and he likes me to add stuff to his "chores" list. He's pretty good about getting to it, though if something needs to be prioritized, I'll bring it up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-avoid-nagging#post-258280 Tue, 14 Aug 2012 13:36:23 +0000 mrbee 258280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I forgot to mention... I wrote up a bunch of other suggestions on the subject here!</p> <p><a href="http://www.hellobee.com/2012/02/24/9-ways-to-become-a-more-equal-partner-in-household-chores/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hellobee.com/2012/02/24/9-ways-to-become-a-more-equal-partner-in-household-chores/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-avoid-nagging#post-258279 Tue, 14 Aug 2012 13:35:24 +0000 LuLu Mom 258279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i feel like I'm writing this...but he does get annoyed when I nag! I'm a "just get up and do it" kind of person, he's a "sit around and I will get to it" kind of person. Makes housework a little difficult at times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-avoid-nagging#post-258277 Tue, 14 Aug 2012 13:34:12 +0000 mrsjazz 258277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I like this idea! DH and I did this during my pregnancy. There was so much to do and I kept telling him but then he wouldn't do the things I needed him to do. So, we sat down one day and created a list of items that needed to be completed together, split the duties, and put them in the calendar with end dates and reminders. It works!</p> <p>ETA: I still nag, though. D'oh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-avoid-nagging#post-258270 Tue, 14 Aug 2012 13:30:16 +0000 MrsBrewer 258270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm just commenting to I can see suggestions as well. I am in the same boat as you </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-avoid-nagging#post-258268 Tue, 14 Aug 2012 13:30:00 +0000 looch 258268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When you ask him, try giving him a deadline, like, can you take the clothes out of the dryer now or I need this paperwork completed by tomorrow morning. My husband is good on the cleaning up after himself though, so no help there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-avoid-nagging#post-258265 Tue, 14 Aug 2012 13:28:17 +0000 mrbee 258265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You can setup a Google Calendar reminder, so that it's not you doing the reminding? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-avoid-nagging#post-258263 Tue, 14 Aug 2012 13:27:31 +0000 SleepyMonkey 258263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>sometimes I find that I have to motivate him to do certain things around the house like clean up after himself or fix things that I can't do myself. I usually ask nicely, but sometimes if I've asked him multiple times to do something, I ask not so nicely and then I catch myself being a nag....he doesn't get annoyed at me, but I feel like one day he might. How do you ask your husband to do things without becoming a nag? </p>