https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 19:12:11 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-deal-with-a-whiney-toddler#post-225251 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 12:13:24 +0000 banana 225251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@honeybee: Grreeeatttt. I guess 2 year olds are just like this whether they talk or not! We'll get through this!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-deal-with-a-whiney-toddler#post-225244 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 12:11:49 +0000 Honeybee 225244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@banana: Lol, sorry to be the bearer of bad news. :) Generally, talking does help, but when DD gets upset and won't answer us, it's almost exactly like dealing with a screaming 3 month old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-deal-with-a-whiney-toddler#post-225203 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 11:57:48 +0000 banana 225203@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@honeybee: Yeah, when there's something that he wants that I can't control I just tell him over and over "Even if you cry, there's nothing mommy can do anything about that. There's no point in crying because mommy can't do anything about that." I dont' think they understand this concept because they probably think we can control everything. And to them, we just look like mean bullies who won't give them what they want. And I could totally see why that would be frustrating!</p> <p>My son doesn't talk yet (he's speech delayed) but he's a really good gesturer so we usually can tell what he wants. I was hoping it would get better once he DOES start talking...but apparently not?? uuuugghhh.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-deal-with-a-whiney-toddler#post-225193 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 11:53:58 +0000 Honeybee 225193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@banana: Exactly!!! Yesterday DD was crying because she wanted DH; sorry, but he's at work and he won't be home for a few hours. I can't do anything about that!</p> <p>I thought it would be easier once she could talk because then she could TELL me what she wanted/needed. Nope, turns out toddlers are just as confusing and frustrating as non-verbal infants. Sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-deal-with-a-whiney-toddler#post-225182 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 11:50:20 +0000 banana 225182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@honeybee: I know!! It's frustrating when they're whiny/crying and you have NO idea what they WANT! UGH. It would be so much easier if they just told you or at least pointed. And sometimes, he would cry over something I can't control. Like once, he kept pointing to a street light wanting it to turn green. And he kept whining and crying until it turned green. Then once it turned red again, he'd whine again. WTH? I can't control that!!! hahaha. Crazy 2 year olds. :)</p> <p>I figure it's just a phase and that he's figuring out his emotions. That's the only thing that makes sense to me. The 2 year old stage must be pretty frustrating cause you can't FULLY communicate yet you feel all these new emotions. I just sigh a lot and try to be as patient as I can. You're handling it really well I must say!!! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-deal-with-a-whiney-toddler#post-225174 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 11:45:55 +0000 Honeybee 225174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@banana: This is exactly what we're dealing with! I wish I could read her little mind and figure out what was really going on in there. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-deal-with-a-whiney-toddler#post-225168 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 11:40:47 +0000 banana 225168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is a pretty easy going/chill kid but he went through a period where he was so whiny and clingy it was driving me nuts! It lasted for about a good week. He would whine and actually cry about the littlest things. And he would get super frustrated if he couldn't fit a block into a round hole. That lasted for a week and then it stopped and he was back to his normal self. Now just this morning, he was super cranky and whiny again! I asked him what he wanted and he would just sit there and cry. I finally gave him some water and then he was fine and happy.</p> <p>SIGH. 2 year olds really ARE a mystery! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-deal-with-a-whiney-toddler#post-225149 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 11:24:23 +0000 Honeybee 225149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HeatherlovesKenny: Thank you for the link; a very interesting article!</p> <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I'm worried about daycare altogether. It seems like this issue started with her getting upset when when we dropped her off at daycare, and it's been getting steadily worse. :( I don't know what to do about it, though. We really need to save her spot in daycare for next summer when I have to do my field study, and our daycare has a long waiting list, so taking her out now might mean we don't get back in when we need it. We're going to re-evaluate in a couple weeks, but I almost feel like paying for her spot without actually sending her until she starts to get better and we can see a little bit more objectively whether this is just a phase or whether something at daycare is causing this. Next summer, she will be eligible to go to the Montessori school, so that could always be an option, too...</p> <p>She HAS been talking a lot about being scared lately; she tells us things are scary or she mentions there are "scary monsters" hiding around the house. We watched an episode of Blues Clues together about being scared, and I just bought this book (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/When-Feel-Scared-Way-Books/dp/0807589004/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1342628114&#038;sr=8-9&#038;keywords=books+to+help+toddler+with+fear" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/When-Feel-Scared-Way-Books/dp/0807589004/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1342628114&#038;sr=8-9&#038;keywords=books+to+help+toddler+with+fear</a>) that I hope will help her learn some comforting skills. She does use "emotion" words; she tells us when she's scared, happy, sad, and angry, so that's helpful, but talking her down hasn't been too successful.</p> <p>Honestly, it completely baffels me! Yesterday was a bad day, but this morning was great! She got dressed, brushed her teeth, and combed her hair with minimal help from DH. She answered our questions about what she wanted for breakfast and didn't whine when we washed her hands/face afterward. I just put DS down for a nap, and she is playing puzzles at my feet, perfectly content! I just don't know when something is going to set her off, and when she starts into this pattern of whining/crying about everything, it's an all day thing. Talk about a mystery!</p> <p>Btw, it is so nice to know we're not the only ones dealing with this. :) DD has always been an easy going kid, so dealing with this behavior has been really taxing on me. Commiserating with you makes me feel a lot better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-deal-with-a-whiney-toddler#post-224924 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 09:40:05 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 224924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeybee: I'm so sorry! There's nothing new going on in her life as far as you know? I worry a little bit about the overbearing kid at daycare, y'know?</p> <p>Lala did something a little similar today about taking her nap. I tried comforting her, walking away, being stern... nothing worked. Ultimately I started talking about what we did while we were swimming that morning and she eventually distracted herself and got involved in the conversation and promptly fell asleep. </p> <p>Then when she woke up, the same behavior happened. I couldn't do anything to comfort her, so I just held her and went along with my afternoon until eventually she reset herself.</p> <p>It only happened twice and I don't know what my strategy would be if it became an ongoing problem. What I have noticed is that Lala has started talking alot about "Scary" things and about emotions... and I'm wondering whether at age 2 she's just feeling things so intensely now that it's overwhelming for her?</p> <p>The two year old mind is a mystery I guess! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-deal-with-a-whiney-toddler#post-224636 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 00:44:26 +0000 Boogs 224636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HeatherlovesKenny: Thank you, this was an excellent article and I'm marking this thread as a favorite now. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-deal-with-a-whiney-toddler#post-224623 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 23:55:22 +0000 HLK208 224623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been there! With DS since he was 2.5 years--he goes through phases of being defiant and then he's back to his normal sweet self. This article helped me today: </p> <p><a href="http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-discipline-tool-kit-successful-strategies-for-every-age_1475318.bc?scid=preschooler_20120717:3&#038;pe=MlVBVXBxaHwyMDEyMDcxNw" rel="nofollow">http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-discipline-tool-kit-successful-strategies-for-every-age_1475318.bc?scid=preschooler_20120717:3&#038;pe=MlVBVXBxaHwyMDEyMDcxNw</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-deal-with-a-whiney-toddler#post-224545 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 21:36:47 +0000 Boogs 224545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeybee: Gosh I feel for you. I actually would have probably done the same if I were in your shoes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-deal-with-a-whiney-toddler#post-224527 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 21:28:46 +0000 Honeybee 224527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Boogs: I am so glad I'm not the only one! It's really hard to enjoy my time with DD when she's crying and whining all day...</p> <p>@brownie: This is my approach; maybe someone can point out places we can improve? Here's what actually happened after naptime today:</p> <p>DD wakes up and yells "Mommy!" over the monitor. I go in.<br /> Me: "Hi, honey. Are you ready to go downstairs and get a snack?"<br /> DD: (starting to whine) "No snack. No mommy. I want daddy."<br /> Me: "Sorry, honey, daddy's at work. Let's go get a snack; do you want a popsicle today?"<br /> DD: (starts crying) "Nooooooooo!!!!! No popsicle! No momma! DDDDDAAAAAADDDDYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!"<br /> Me: "I see you're upset. I know you miss daddy today. Why don't we call him on the phone and tell him that we miss him?"<br /> DD: (sobbing uncontrollably) "NO!!!!" (then she ran over and hit me)<br /> Me: "Hitting is unacceptable. I see that you're upset, but we don't hit, even when we're angry; when you're ready to appologize for hitting me, you let me know." (I leave her room and listen to her crying and screaming for about 15 minutes; she finally stops so I go back up to her room.)<br /> Me: "If you're ready to appologize for hitting me, you can come give me a hug; then we can go eat a snack outside."<br /> DD: "NO, mommy. DADDY!!!!" (she starts crying again)<br /> Me: "Daddy will be home in a few minutes. Let's go downstairs and make him a picture for when he gets home!"<br /> DD: (sobbing) "Noooooooooo. No, mommy. Daddy. Please no mommy. Please no. I'm sad."<br /> Me: "I can see that you're getting upset again, but I don't know why. Can you stop crying and use your words to tell me why you're sad?"<br /> DD: (keeps crying and shakes head)<br /> Me: "Let's calm down a bit so we can talk about what's making you sad. Take some deep breathes with me." (exaggerated breathing)<br /> DD: "Noooooo, mommy. Please no mommy. Please no."<br /> Me: "Ok, let me know if you need a hug to help calm down." (Then I went back downstairs. She kept crying on and off for about 30 minutes until DH came home. He went upstairs and she asked him to hold her; only after this was she able to come downstairs and stop crying. She was fine the rest of the evening and is currently reading stories with DH in her bedroom).</p> <p>Advice? Pointers? Ideas? I'm feeling pretty drained, at the moment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-deal-with-a-whiney-toddler#post-224389 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 20:07:22 +0000 Boogs 224389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, my LO has been doing this A LOT lately. He's actually doing it and climing all over me now instead of enjoying playing outside. He's 15 months so not as old as your LO. Like you I don't know what to do about it, but it's truly making me nuts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-deal-with-a-whiney-toddler#post-224276 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 18:01:58 +0000 brownie 224276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am just starting to get into some of this with my little one so I don't have much. I think you are on the right track. My friends 2 year old (who we babysat for a week) is also really whiny. So maybe it is just a phase and she will grow out of it.</p> <p>I do know that studies have shown when they are in the midst of a tantrum it is better to just ignore them. Then talk about the feelings afterwards. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-deal-with-a-whiney-toddler#post-224258 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 17:34:09 +0000 Honeybee 224258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD has been having some issues lately. She's been going through a separation anxiety phase and cries every time we try to leave her (at daycare, at night to go to sleep, etc...). On top of that, she has become almost unbearably whiney. She cries because she has to get dressed in the morning; she cries because she has to go potty; she cries because she has to put on her shoes before she goes outside or because she has to put on her seatbelt before I'll start the car. It's becoming exhausting. </p> <p>Generally, she's pretty independent and autonomous for a 2 year old, but she doesn't want to do anything by herself, lately. We'll ask her to do something, she'll break down in a tnatrum, and we end up having to do everything for her while she cries and begs us to stop. Sometimes SHE doesn't even know what she wants: we'll ask simple questions like, "Do you want oatmeal or a smoothie for breakfast?" and she'll break down crying without actually making a decision! She'll ask to be held and then cry when we pick her up, and then cry when we put her down! We remind her that we can't help her if she's crying and that she needs to use her words, but that doesn't help at all. </p> <p>We're mostly able to stay calm and patient with her, and we always start by validating her feelings. We give her opportunities to let us talk her through the tantrum and we give her opportunities to self-soothe by walking away/ignoring it. We've tried redirecting and distracting, and it seems like nothing works. The only thing that calms her down is to hold her for a while, but as soon as we need to put her down or ask her to do something else, she breaks down again.</p> <p>Does anyone have any insight as to what's going on? Or any tips to share on how to get through this? I really hope this is just a phase because it is really hard to deal with day in and day out. </p>