https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 14 May 2026 04:32:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910213 Fri, 14 Feb 2020 10:57:48 +0000 Litebrite 2910213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I second everything @MrsSRS said above.</p> <p>Also, after an 'episode' I will make him begrudgingly practice scripts for next time. Sometimes it works, and instead of freaking out he will repeat a phrase we practiced, and it's amazing. But only sometimes :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910200 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 22:46:00 +0000 crazydoglady 2910200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: I haven't had a chance to read all the replies, but my son has been dubbed the school "crybaby" (by the other kids.) The school has expressed concerns over his lack of coping mechanisms. For example, my son was crying when the other kids were running because he didn't realize they were playing a game. Then, he started crying again when he thought they were running away from him. When he is playing with a toy and it falls apart, he starts crying. One thing that has worked has been saying "When you get mad/sad/etc, try to ______." And then he responds with "fix it!" So, we try to find a solution or ask him what he thinks we should do to fix it. We also ask him to take a breath. It's not always perfect, but I think it is starting to click and his teacher says things are getting better once I shared this with her.<br /> TBH, I am relieved I am not alone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910199 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 22:38:21 +0000 Corduroy 2910199@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for all the great ideas! Lots of things for us to try. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910190 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 19:58:26 +0000 MrsSRS 2910190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@peaches1038: yes this is so, so valuable!! For one of my kids it's helpful for me to also model hypotheticals. Like, "oh I'm so frustrated I spilled that. I would really like to scream super, super loud. But that wouldn't be helpful/safe/appropriate. So I'm going to do some deep breaths until I feel less frustrated." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910188 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 19:51:13 +0000 peaches1038 2910188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Another thing I do that I just remembered is that when something doesn’t go my way, I’ll say oh. This is not what I wanted, but this is a little problem. I can fix it/wait/get it next time/try again/etc<br /> So that everyday modeling is a great tool as well </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910186 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 19:36:36 +0000 hitchhiker 2910186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: yeah, I agree, but sometimes it's so hard! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910185 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 19:29:16 +0000 erinbaderin 2910185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@peaches1038: Oooh, I love this - I’m going to try this for sure! </p> <p>@MrsSRS: I love this too! Great suggestion, thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910184 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 19:28:01 +0000 erinbaderin 2910184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hitchhiker: For something that I wouldn’t - I try to remember that to them, their feelings are real, even though to me, it seems absurd. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910183 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 19:14:26 +0000 MrsSRS 2910183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@peaches1038: yes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910182 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 19:13:44 +0000 hitchhiker 2910182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSRS: that is a great idea. Thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910181 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 19:13:13 +0000 peaches1038 2910181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have been practicing big problem vs little problem as a game that we play in the car during our 25 min commute to preschool. So I name something and he gets to say big problem! Or little problem! And then he takes a turn and I respond. So it’s things like:<br /> -spilling my water (little!)<br /> -falling off my bike and getting an owie (big!)<br /> -playground bark in my shoes (little!)<br /> - block tower falling down (little!)<br /> - kid pushes me and I get hurt (big!) </p> <p>We go back and forth and we get silly with it too. But practicing this in a low stakes environment has been extremely helpful </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910179 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 19:07:17 +0000 MrsSRS 2910179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hitchhiker: one of my coworkers did a class project on this. They did a visual wall where they wrote out small, medium and large problems. So small are things that are to manage yourself like being disappointed that you didn't get a purple folder or breaking a pencil or someone taking too long a turn or a stubbed toe. Medium things you might need to ask a friend or adult to help with. You're bleeding, you can't find something you need after looking carefully, a friend isn't listening to your words. Big things need other helpers like doctors. Big problems are things like broken bones, fires, etc. Having it written or drawn out in three circles on a poster really helped visualize it. Then for a whole with every problem they walked over to the poster and talked through where it belonged and how to solve it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910177 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 18:50:54 +0000 JCCovi 2910177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son just turned 5 and is also going to Kinder in the fall. He’s doing this too but it’s perplexing because it started somewhat recently. 6 months ago it definitely wasn’t happening and it kind of crept up. I don’t think it’s happening at school but if it’s a play date with a peer and I’m there, he’ll still do it. The crying is SO fake and dramatic most of the time too. No advice and I’ve also been a bit worried about it, so will try some of these suggestions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910159 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 15:54:50 +0000 JennyPenny 2910159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 5 year old is like this. One thing that helps is if we're able to warn him. Like if we say in advance "I have something to tell you and I think you might be disappointed. It's okay to feel upset but we can work together to come up with a solution, ok? &lt;insert bad news here&gt;" I feel like having the warning and agreeing to come up with a solution in advance help the immediate over-the-top reactions a good portion of the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910157 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 15:23:08 +0000 hitchhiker 2910157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: Thanks - that wording is helpful. Would you use it when they are actually sad about something? As an example, this morning my daughter accidentally broke her favorite ankle bracelet, and had a major breakdown. Loud sobbing for 5-10 minutes. It was a junky plastic thing, but she got it for good behavior from her teacher and was attached to it. I think she was legitimate in feeling sad, but the crying/sobbing for that long seemed out of proportion with the tragedy of the situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910155 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 15:15:46 +0000 wrkbrk 2910155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: Following because my son is the most dramatic boy you ever did see 🙄 He is four now and it’s like a light switched on at his birthday. A very very bad light ... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910154 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 15:15:09 +0000 wrkbrk 2910154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: ....you’ve literally described every toddler everywhere 😂🤷🏼‍♀️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910153 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 15:10:29 +0000 erinbaderin 2910153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hitchhiker: My example relates more to my nearly-four year old, because that’s what I can think of off the top of my head, but he likes to wear ankle socks, and then when he puts on his snow boots he hates how his pant legs bunch, and he FREAKS OUT, wailing and crying, so I’ve been trying things like “Buddy. This is a problem that is easy to fix, you just have to use your words. You aren’t hurt and you aren’t sad, you’re just frustrated. This is a small problem, and you are having a very big reaction.”</p> <p>So I guess I try to frame it in terms of how easy it is to fix and how seriously it affects us vs what decibel level they are using. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910152 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 14:59:21 +0000 hitchhiker 2910152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: Can you say a little more about how you talk about big problems v. small problems? </p> <p>I have been wanting to start doing this (and school recommended it), but only ever think about it in the moment that my almost 7 year old is wailing about something that is definitely a small problem. It feels a little condescending to call something a small problem in that emotional moment, but I would like to do some pre-work, so that during the breakdown I can gently remind her of previous conversations about big v. small problems. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910151 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 14:49:21 +0000 JennyLayneAZ 2910151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also following as a mom of an almost 4 year old girl who cries about everything/nothing. When does the crying because they want something stop? Why can't they just ask for it, without it being a crying fit?! LOL So, hugs momma's! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910144 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 14:21:38 +0000 MrsSRS 2910144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>But as a teacher and also a parent I agree with others that this is fairly common and less likely to happen at school. Common and age appropriate doesn't mean you have to just let it happen! Have patience and sympathy, yes certainly, but I think 4.5 is plenty old to work on feeling and respecting emotions without wailing at everything or repressing everything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910143 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 14:18:27 +0000 MrsSRS 2910143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My script for this sounds something like, "wow that is loud crying. It's fine to cry if you are sad or hurt. Are you sad or hurt? Yes? Tell me why so I can help/No? Then calm your body, please. I don't think you are sad or hurt. I think maybe you feel disappointed. When we feel disappointed we can take big breaths or ask for a hug, but we don't scream." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910142 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 14:17:48 +0000 erinbaderin 2910142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: Yes, I’ve started to talk about big problems vs little problems, and big reactions vs little reactions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910141 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 14:16:57 +0000 Kemma 2910141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 7yo did this and we did a lot of asking “do I need to cry about this?”. Basically, her default response was to cry so we worked on being a bit more mindful and thinking about appropriate reactions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910137 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 13:58:54 +0000 Corduroy 2910137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bluemasonjar: Ah yes, swim lessons is another big trigger. </p> <p>Good to know that others are experiencing this at home. Maybe I just need to have a little more patience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910136 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 13:33:30 +0000 Bluemasonjar 2910136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As the mother of a 4.5 year old boy that I had to carry from the locker room in the aquatic center all the way to the car while crying and screaming because he didn't want to get changed this sounds somewhat age appropriate. </p> <p>I think you are doing the right things by praising and encouraging positive reactions. I try to give DS some space when he is upset and prompt him to use words to describe his feelings so I can acknowledge them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910133 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 13:23:10 +0000 erinbaderin 2910133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son just turned 6 and he still does this, but only at home. It actually kind of concerns me that he only does it at home - I don’t want him to feel like he shouldn’t have feelings in public! But in a regular basis he’s wailing in the car and then I can see him trying to pull himself together as we approach school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910132 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 12:48:41 +0000 josina 2910132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 5-1/2 year old still does this, but I think it's just at home with us, not something he does at school. Following though because I can use tips too to encourage him to react appropriately. Yesterday he got upset because he couldn't get the front door open (slightly frozen) and instead of asking for help, or trying again, he has a huge melt down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-discourage-crybaby-behavior-in-older-preschooler#post-2910131 Thu, 13 Feb 2020 11:58:26 +0000 Corduroy 2910131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 4.5yo's first reaction to disappointment is loud, dramatic, wailing. He'll start Kindergarten in the fall and mostly seems ready except this behavior seems out of place for his peers. </p> <p>I don't think I'm judging him harshly for being a boy. And I while I referred to it as 'crybaby' in the title I would never call him one nor have said that word in person. That just seemed like a susinct description.</p> <p>We name feelings and talk about them. We try to ignore the crying and wait for words. We've commented on how the crying hurts people's ears. We try to point out when he does well. </p> <p>Common reasons for wailing: I need to run an errand without him, his sister gets to do something he doesn't get to do, TV, I forgot to bring something to school or didn't pack what he wanted for lunch.</p> <p>Are my expectations out of line for 4.5? What else can I do to encourage less dramatic responses? </p>