https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 11 May 2026 23:11:27 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-encourage-social-confidence#post-2673480 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 19:09:41 +0000 JennyD 2673480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We went through this too at the local playground. I tried to help her figure out what to say to the kids she wanted to play with. We ran through a few scripts and what to say if the other kids said this or that. </p> <p>Might be a bit of an age thing too. It seems like this was a phase we were in between 4-4.5. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-encourage-social-confidence#post-2673344 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 14:18:21 +0000 kiddosc 2673344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@My Only Sunshine: That's a good idea to practice a script of sorts. I don't call him shy, but he does sometimes tell me he's feeling shy. I like your tip of giving him other confident adjectives to replace shy. </p> <p>@Jess1483: I do give him tips on what to say while we're in the situation, "Hello, I'm E would you like to play?" But I think we need to rehearse it a bit more outside of the moment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-encourage-social-confidence#post-2673306 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 13:22:28 +0000 Jess1483 2673306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do a lot of roll-playing with my more reserved son. I also point out what he could say if he wants to XYZ. There seems to be less pressure if I just give him an option he could do, versus encouraging him to do so. Then often he will give it a try later, when I think he isn't watching ;)</p> <p>I also agree with @My Only Sunshine: about not labeling the behavior as shy--same thing happened to me and it was an easy excuse to never put myself out there.</p> <p>Every night I always ask my son to name one kind thing he did that day. He often needs my help remembering one, and I often point to examples of how he asked someone to play with him. Reinforcing that seems to have helped his confidence in that area. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-encourage-social-confidence#post-2673302 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 13:14:47 +0000 My Only Sunshine 2673302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter is socially reserved too. I give her a little script to try out and we talk about it on the way to places. "What will you say to a kid who looks like you might want to play with them?" and then I help her come up with actual ideas - "Hi, I'm ______. I like to go on the slide too. Can I go with you?" or whatever.</p> <p>I also make a big point not to talk about how she's "shy." My parents were always telling people how shy I was, which I think gave me an excuse not to try to make friends. I try to tell my daughter "You are so friendly and kind and fun."</p> <p>I think in situations like you were describing it can be hard for a kid just to go up to another kid like that. I sometimes will go talk to the mom and introduce the kids that way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-encourage-social-confidence#post-2673288 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 12:39:32 +0000 ShootingStar 2673288@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have the opposite problem with DS. He doesn't know how to play with the kids that ask him. We were at an indoor playground a few days ago and kids came up a couple times to him and he went running to DH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-encourage-social-confidence#post-2673253 Tue, 03 Jan 2017 11:56:23 +0000 kiddosc 2673253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How do you encourage your LO to be socially confident? This weekend we were at an indoor play place and E (4.5 years old) really wanted to someone to play with. There were lots of other children his age there and I tried to encourage him to go up to one of them and ask them to play. It wasn't until another Mom saw us and had her daughter come ask him to play that he went off to play with her. </p> <p>I have vivid memories of crying to my mother as a young child because it was so hard for me to make new friends (we moved a lot). Even now, as an adult, it is very hard for me in new situations. I really admire people that seem to so easily fit in and talk to everyone and would like to help E be more like that. I understand it's personality to an extent, but would like to give him any help I can. </p>