https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 14 Jun 2026 19:45:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2488288 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 07:03:40 +0000 Cherrybee 2488288@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Its funny, I'm reading the activity suggestions and realising that E wont do even these activities without me - for example, she gets really frustrated with stickers because she cant pull them off the sheet herself every time, and she gets frustrated with play doh if her creations break or she cant roll it flat herself. She wont even watch TV alone, she wants to give me a running commentary! If I leave her alone and insist she has to wait for me to finish what Im doing, she does something dangerous and hurts herself. :bummed: I've found that the only thing I can do is to let her help me with everything I need to get done - laundry, cleaning, cooking. Its very draining. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2487872 Tue, 08 Mar 2016 17:02:53 +0000 Silva 2487872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hellobeeboston: I actually find that having fewer toys out can encourage play. Maybe start rotating them? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2487858 Tue, 08 Mar 2016 16:53:50 +0000 daniellemybelle 2487858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hellobeeboston: I know our playroom could be set up better, which is why I will usually "stage" what I want her to play with but then act super casual so she doesn't realize I desperately want her to play alone. :silly: </p> <p>For example, I will pull out the blocks bin and put it by the couch instead of where it is tucked away when she is occupied. And then I'll say, "Oh, check it out, the blocks are out. Remember when you built a whole neighborhood all by yourself?" Because if we were just in the playroom together and I said, "Hey, let's get out the blocks!" she'd either say no just to be contrary OR say, "Yes, Mommy! Build with me!"</p> <p>The Jedi mind tricks I play on my kid, haha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2487347 Tue, 08 Mar 2016 11:04:13 +0000 hellobeeboston 2487347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks all. I may try the timer trick, just to start so he gets an idea of how long we would like him to play alone and that after we finish what we're doing we'll rejoin him in play.</p> <p>I feel like we have 12 MILLION toys but maybe they need to be re-organized in a new way to make them easier for him to play with on his own. I think I cleaned up too much and made some things less accessible than they used to be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2487120 Tue, 08 Mar 2016 08:30:28 +0000 daniellemybelle 2487120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: This often works for us, too. I will usually try to say it in a low key way so she doesn't catch on :silly: So I'll be like, "Oh, have you checked on your babies today? They're probably hungry..." and off we go. But baby doll pretend play is always her favorite. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2487072 Tue, 08 Mar 2016 07:43:28 +0000 Silva 2487072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have not mastered this but sometimes have success. But another thing that was suggested to me and sometimes works is to set up something in an appealing way, like I put out stuff to make her baby breakfast, and then I suggest she make breakfast and put her baby down for a nap. That can keep her busy while I cook or whatever, when she comes in and asks me to join her, I remind her that I'm busy but when I'm done we will play, and maybe offer another suggestion. The other thing that was suggested to me is to engage in play, and then step back. So start building a tower, they join you, do it together for a bit and then you back away.<br /> Also, I just straight up ignore her tantrums if she is being demanding and Ive explained that I'm busy.</p> <p>I've also found she likes to play near us, so we don't have a designated play room, and just rotate stuff out of herbedroom. She plays in the living room off the kitchen, or drags toys into the kitchen, </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2487065 Tue, 08 Mar 2016 07:21:00 +0000 looch 2487065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son will play independently with things he likes, it took us a while to find those things. He loves art stuff, so very early on I set up bins in our kitchen that he could access. He would sit at the table and pull out play dough, make tracks and roll his cars around in it. Kinetic sand was fun for him as were stickers .</p> <p>Now he will play in another room but at first we had to practice in the same room as I was in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2487063 Tue, 08 Mar 2016 07:16:40 +0000 Mrs. D 2487063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It was at about 3.5 when we moved into our current home that she finally started wanting to play alone. She would occasionally before, but now it's a daily occurance.<br /> She started by taking playdough and wrapping it around her Magiclip dolls and Barbies like in the videos she likes on YouTube. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2487003 Tue, 08 Mar 2016 00:13:46 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2487003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've started to set some ground rules, like "mama and papa need to finish our coffee first", which always buys us a few minutes. If we take too long, she'll come over and check our cup, so I've been sneaky and have been taking my sweet time! :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2486948 Mon, 07 Mar 2016 21:48:43 +0000 hilsy85 2486948@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSRS: @MrsF: not so much the timer thing but the time out thing--although honestly, the timer thing has not worked as well for us because he starts to fixate on how much time is left. oh well! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2486947 Mon, 07 Mar 2016 21:43:19 +0000 MrsF 2486947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: Yeah - when I tried to use a timer for something else, M totally freaked out, but when I need her to play on her own so that I can do something in the kitchen I will sometimes set a timer. If I frame it as "when the timer goes off I can come in and do xyz with you" it works. Probably not as effective though as I'm using playing with me as the incentive but I'll take what I can get right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2486946 Mon, 07 Mar 2016 21:41:26 +0000 MrsSRS 2486946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: ah, true, totally depends on the kid. We do a lot of what you described, but DS is a fan of the timer, so it helps limit any potential for argument or discussion. No need to ask if I'm done with my book or X minutes are up, because the timer isn't off yet! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2486944 Mon, 07 Mar 2016 21:38:47 +0000 hilsy85 2486944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSRS: see this would not work for me, it would make LO hve a negative association with the whole idea. But different strokes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2486939 Mon, 07 Mar 2016 21:35:50 +0000 MrsF 2486939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSRS: I totally agree with this. It's the only thing that has worked for us so far. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2486934 Mon, 07 Mar 2016 21:33:24 +0000 MrsSRS 2486934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A timer.<br /> "You need to play in X room until the timer beeps. You may play with toy A or toy B. Mommy will be in the other room doing her work. You may not leave the room until the timer beeps."<br /> Use three minutes until you are getting compliance, then up it a minute a day until you get to 20 or 30. And do this 2 or 3 times a day so LO gets lots of practice! We treat any refusal to stay in the room until the timer beeps as regular old disobedience, so there is a warning, then a time out, then a return to the room to play until the timer beeps.<br /> ETA: now that LO can play independently if I need a break I can use other cues. Like, you need to play by yourself until my coffee is gone, and then we can read a book! And LO will wander over periodically and peer in my mug then wander away to play some more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2486925 Mon, 07 Mar 2016 21:24:33 +0000 MoonMoon 2486925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO will be 3 in June and we have this problem. The only toys that will consistently absorb his attention are play doh and his BBQ. So for us it's been about finding the magical toys that he loves. He could sit there and extrude and cookie cut play doh all day! Otherwise, I'm really hoping for more suggestions, and also hoping that preschool will help develop his interest in playing independently. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2486921 Mon, 07 Mar 2016 21:18:48 +0000 MrsF 2486921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hellobeeboston: I could have written this question word for word. So thanks for posting! </p> <p>@hilsy85: @daniellemybelle: Thanks for the ideas! I find I have more trouble because her little brother is 15 months and needs lots of attention which just draws the 3 year old away from any independent play and back to her parents. I'll keep trying! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2486915 Mon, 07 Mar 2016 21:10:18 +0000 daniellemybelle 2486915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is 2.5 and the times she plays independently the longest are:</p> <p>- when she's painting on her easel, which she doesn't do often because of the set-up required and mess, but she LOVES it and will paint forever</p> <p>- when she's deep into imaginative play, like with baby dolls or her dollhouse. What are his interests? LO could change diapers, rock babies, change their clothes, put them in time out, etc. etc. for the longest time. But maybe there are characters he likes or something he really enjoys and you can find some toys he'd like to pretend with?</p> <p>Along those lines, what about getting him a new toy you'll know he'll go crazy for, and call it his "play by yourself" toy. If he's done playing alone, that's fine, but that toy has to be put up. Like @hilsy85 said, if he throws a fit about it, so be it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2486877 Mon, 07 Mar 2016 20:25:32 +0000 hilsy85 2486877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like at their age, they are old enough to understand if you say, "I am going to sit here on the couch and read a book. You can play with your trains/cars right here next to me. In x minutes, I will come play with you. RIght now, I am going to read a little bit". Or something like that--basically just tell him that he needs to play while you do something else. He might tantrum about it, but no different from a tantrum about something else that he doesn't want to do...or what if you get him started with a toy/game, and then say, I need to go do x, I'll be back in 5 minutes, and gradually start increasing?</p> <p>LO has gotten much better about independent play in the last few weeks, so maybe it will change for the better soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-get-my-3yo-to-play-independently#post-2486870 Mon, 07 Mar 2016 20:18:35 +0000 hellobeeboston 2486870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just as the title says. How?</p> <p>My 3 year old will NOT play on his own. The only thing he will do without us is tv or iPad. It's getting seemingly worse. We were home a lot this weekend and realized we never had 1 minute without him demanding our time &amp; attention. And it's not like he wasn't constantly getting it. Up at 6, playing, activities, cooking together, baths, nap(peace), books, shopping, helping, playing, etc etc etc. </p> <p>Any ideas? Even if it's 5 minutes to start, that would be amazing. </p>