https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 30 Jun 2026 12:32:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-a-friends-miscarriage#post-750181 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 10:26:52 +0000 lilteacherbee 750181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely didn't want to talk about it for the first couple of weeks. But eventually I did. I think most of my friends did a good job with letting me take the lead.</p> <p>It did suck for awhile because my best friend at the time had her baby 2 days after my miscarriage. I couldn't see her baby until she was about 6 weeks old. It was just too hard. My friend and I got into an argument about something completely unrelated a couple of months later. She said some insensitive things about how I "wouldn't understand" because I didn't have 2 kids. I tried not to make people walk on eggshells but at the same time, some people just have no tact. Needless to say, we're not close anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-a-friends-miscarriage#post-749929 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 09:14:13 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 749929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My best friend had a miscarriage last year. I told her that I was there when she wanted to talk. And when she needed to she did call me to talk about it. I think what you've already said has been nice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-a-friends-miscarriage#post-749872 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 08:55:29 +0000 spaniellove 749872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If she says she doesn't want to talk about it, she most likely does not want to talk about it. Which isn't to say that she doesn't need your support in any way, but it sounds like she has a lot to process still. </p> <p>Instead of mentally going back to before she got pregnant (and assuming she wants to get wasted), it seems like a better idea to provide more soothing support without forcing her to open up. And you brought up a good point about her having to see C - she may not tell you, but it would be painful for her. Is it possible to get together with her when you don't have to have kids around or talk about them? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-a-friends-miscarriage#post-749859 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 08:51:30 +0000 T.H.O.U. 749859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@zippylef: I know I just went through it and the best thing was to stay busy and not talk about it that much. </p> <p>I think I would offer up lunch this week but say, if its too much with C there you understand, whatever is best for her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-a-friends-miscarriage#post-749839 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 08:42:03 +0000 Alivoo01 749839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For me, I just wanted a few days to cry and cope with the situation on my own. My hubby was extremely supportive and made sure I was okay by making sure I ate and just holding/hugging/cuddling with me. It took me a couple weeks to start getting over it then quite a few months before I felt comfortable telling people. I think just checking in with her once in awhile is good or see if she wants to grab something to eat or bring over food is comforting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-a-friends-miscarriage#post-749792 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 08:24:25 +0000 loveisstrange 749792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A good friend miscarried this weekend, she was just over 6 weeks pregnant. They were on their way to our house when her husband called and said they were headed to the ER. I sent her a text to check on her Sunday morning and she told me they lost the baby. I told her I was sorry and that I was here for her if she needed anything and kind of left it at that. I didn't want to say something stupid and make her feel worse. She told me she doesn't want pity and doesn't really want to talk about it and that we should reschedule our board game night.</p> <p>I'm kind of confused on how to handle this situation. She's the first person in my day-to-day life that has had a loss and I want to be there for her, but not be pushy or too distant. I feel like it's a delicate balance.</p> <p>Part of me thinks that, knowing her, it's probably best to just carry on like she was never even pregnant to begin with. She made it clear that she doesn't want to talk about it and not to bring it up (which I wouldn't). I thought about asking her if she wanted to grab lunch this week but I wasn't sure if that was insensitive, considering she would have to deal with C (who is 1). I also kind of wondered if I should see if they wanted to reschedule our plans for this weekend and maybe we'd all get sloshed for Cinco de Mayo, but again... not sure if that's insensitive or not. I wasn't sure if it was better to give them some space for a few weeks and then try and make some plans. She's the one who brought up rescheduling our couples night activities. I told her we were free whenever.</p> <p>I'm sort of at a loss here. I don't want to be the person that just makes it worse for her but I don't want her to feel like we've abandoned her or are ignoring her (especially since our husband's are friends and work together also). I know there's no real way for me to make her feel better but I want her to know that I'm here when she's ready.</p> <p>Advice? For those who have been in her shoes, what is the best way to handle it? </p>