Hellobee Boards Topic: How to handle family members that smoke?

Hellobee Boards Topic: How to handle family members that smoke? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 09:15:54 +0000 MamaMoose on "How to handle family members that smoke?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-family-members-that-smoke#post-656798 Thu, 21 Mar 2013 08:27:13 +0000 MamaMoose 656798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My in-laws smoke and honestly, it's slowly ruining my relationship with them. It just causes SO MUCH STRESS on me, my husband, and our marriage. And they live a two hour plane ride away... I can't imagine what it would be like if we lived close to them. We require them to wear a jacket while they smoke outside and that jacket has to be left outside when they come back in and they have to immediately wash their hands. Honestly, I can tell my FIL thinks this is absurd and I couldn't care less. If you don't want to follow our rules, then quit. My in laws also got super pissed when we went home and stay with my parents instead of with them... but they smoke in their freaking house! We spent ONE night there and my baby basically refused to nurse because she was so stuffed up and couldn't breath when she tried to eat. I'm never dealing with that stress again and I will never stay in their home overnight again and neither will my child. My husband forced the issue for us to stay a night with them but now that we've been through it he completely agrees that we can't do it again. Boheme on "How to handle family members that smoke?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-family-members-that-smoke#post-656794 Thu, 21 Mar 2013 08:26:22 +0000 Boheme 656794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @matador84: I've been wondering about this too. My family doesn't live nearby, so I have to stay with them or my grandparents when I visit - small town, no hotels or anything. I'm hoping my parents don't make a ruckus that I won't ever be staying there again as long as my dad smokes, since he does it inside the house. I can see them getting their feelings hurt over it. matador84 on "How to handle family members that smoke?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-family-members-that-smoke#post-656658 Thu, 21 Mar 2013 07:22:35 +0000 matador84 656658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ All of dhs family are heavy chain smokers. I refuse to take DS to their home because they smoke inside and it has caused a lot of drama. DH is overall supportive but still thinks in being dramatic since he grew up in a smoky house and its fine. When DS was a NB I was crazy with postpartum hormones and mil couldn't hold DS without a blanket over her. A lot of his side of the family think I'm being ridiculous but DS health comes first! bushelandapeck on "How to handle family members that smoke?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-family-members-that-smoke#post-656651 Thu, 21 Mar 2013 07:14:22 +0000 bushelandapeck 656651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My mom is a smoker. We asked her to make sure she smokes outside and wash her hands before she holds LO. I also ask her often if there is anything we can do to help her quit. lomom on "How to handle family members that smoke?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-family-members-that-smoke#post-656602 Thu, 21 Mar 2013 06:17:41 +0000 lomom 656602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DH smokes and he goes outside every time, so everyone else follows suit. In terms of third hand smoke... We'll cross that bridge when we get to it (LO is due in 8 weeks). This may be the unpopular stance, but I think the third hand smoke is a bit blown out of proportion. Obviously I'd never want someone blowing smoke in LO's face, but holding him after having a cigarette... I don't think I'll raise a big fuss. DH understands that cigarettes aren't healthy for anyone, especially a newborn, so it'll be up to him to take the appropriate actions and he will. boiledpnut on "How to handle family members that smoke?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-family-members-that-smoke#post-653025 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 19:20:47 +0000 boiledpnut 653025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @blackbird: This is exactly what we're doing. Plus if they insist on smoking, they have to sit on a blanket so the smoke particles don't get on our furniture. I've been told it's ridiculous, but I don't care. My son's health is more important than someone's feelings on the matter. Bao on "How to handle family members that smoke?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-family-members-that-smoke#post-652400 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 15:02:46 +0000 Bao 652400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Oh man, we have had issues with this. Especially with my in-laws. I think the best thing to do is to make sure they wash their hands, and if you go visit them make sure they are not smoking inside (our biggest issue). I know it sucks because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but your LO's health is much more important! avivoca on "How to handle family members that smoke?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-family-members-that-smoke#post-652397 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 15:01:04 +0000 avivoca 652397@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm subscribing to see how everyone handles this. My mom smokes outside, and my MIL smokes all the time. With my mom, I can see asking her to change her shirt/wash her hands, but I don't know what I'll ask my MIL to do. mrsmenow on "How to handle family members that smoke?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-family-members-that-smoke#post-652391 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 14:59:44 +0000 mrsmenow 652391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We make sure LO is swaddled when SMIL holds LO. And then changes blamkets when she is done. It still bothers me. but this was the best way we could think of to handle it. I am not sure what we wil do when LO is too old to be swaddled:/ blackbird on "How to handle family members that smoke?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-family-members-that-smoke#post-652390 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 14:59:34 +0000 blackbird 652390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I wrote about this same issue a couple months back: <a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-smokersspecifically-family" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-smokersspecifically-family</a> We're going to make family shower and change clothes before they hold the baby. I've already told them, you will NOT have smoke particles on you and hold our baby. Nope. I dont' care about hurting their feelings....i'll ask them to shower at their hotel (my parents aren't staying with me) and not smoke until they've held the baby. once they go outside to smoke, they're done holding. I feel really strongly about this because I was subjected to a lot of inside-the-house smoking and hot boxing in the car, even though I have smoke allergies. For years, I was told I was over reacting...I won't subject my newborn to it, too! loveisstrange on "How to handle family members that smoke?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-family-members-that-smoke#post-652386 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 14:58:22 +0000 loveisstrange 652386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Maybe ask him to wear a jacket over his clothing any time he goes out to smoke and then take it off when he comes in? This wasnt a huge issue for us because my DD was older before she was really exposed to anyone who was a smoker (like 7-8 months old, I made them wash hands). But with a newborn, I could see requesting a clothes change. DillonLion on "How to handle family members that smoke?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-family-members-that-smoke#post-652379 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 14:57:22 +0000 DillonLion 652379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I have relatives who smoke, but they are very respectful about it. They always wash hands before holding LO, and make sure any clothing that they smoked in has been removed when they hold the baby. Boheme on "How to handle family members that smoke?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-family-members-that-smoke#post-652376 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 14:55:58 +0000 Boheme 652376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Have any of you had to balance family members that smoke and baby? I'm fairly certain that my dad has picked his smoking habit back up since he started traveling a lot for work again. When they come to visit he'll have to wash his hands before he holds the baby, like everyone else, but are there any extra precautions I should take? I've read posts about third-hand smoke, and people asking smokers to change clothing before holding the baby. I also don't want to hurt his feelings! However, I want to take every necessary precaution with baby too. Have any of you had experience with this?