https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 09 May 2026 07:51:06 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1744187 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 21:25:07 +0000 Arden 1744187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, no, no, no. </p> <p>I can totally support asking that their child NOT receive certain types of gifts, but just telling you what to get without you having asked? Rude. </p> <p>I'd ask for a wish list and if she wouldn't provide one (that had things other than money/gift cards on it) then I'd just pick a gift myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1744173 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 21:22:02 +0000 bunnylovesbear 1744173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's odd to ask for contributions to the "family gift," but I'm wondering if she's just trying to limit the amount of presents her son gets? Personally, I find Christmas and birthdays to be super overwhelming due to the sheer amount of gifts my children are blessed with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743425 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 15:03:41 +0000 seabsher 1743425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: Same here. I also feel bad when people ask me if I have registered, or what I would like or what my LO likes. I feel like a gift should be chosen by the one giving it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743337 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 14:15:11 +0000 gingerbebe 1743337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I'd just go with whichever route would allow me to give cheerfully. No use giving towards a family gift if its going to make you irritated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743315 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 14:04:01 +0000 SugarplumsMom 1743315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's kind of nice. I'd try to think of it as a huge time saver. I sounds you can save quite a bit of money too, depending on how many people contribute. </p> <p>But don't think it as a requirement. You can always just give an individual gift or just a card and something homemade. They should be happy with just the thought ... if that's not the case, then I'd definitely be peeved. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743272 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 13:47:56 +0000 Mrsjets 1743272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So rude! I like spending a certain amount but try to get what I'm looking for on sale (sometimes months in advance) so they get a better gift for my budget. My niece did ask for money once because she broke her iPod and wanted to replace it...but only after I asked her what she wanted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743241 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 13:24:35 +0000 alphagam84 1743241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: Thank you so much for the suggestion! I just ordered him two kits, they seem perfect for him!</p> <p>@Shutterbug: He's the only one with the "family gift" thing. Everyone else gets individual gifts. </p> <p>And it's her delivery that's so poor. It's a demand and not a questions like "hey, we're getting an iPad if you'd like to contribute and aren't sure what to get him" or I'd love to get a list of items he'd like that I could choose from. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743170 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 13:03:33 +0000 kml636 1743170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That is so weird. She sounds like a control freak. My MIL always sends us a list of what everyone wants, which I think is also a little controlling, but since it's my in laws I let DH deal with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743167 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 13:02:19 +0000 blackbird 1743167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds more like a gift for herself... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743163 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:59:37 +0000 swurlygurl 1743163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man, I would definitely get a gift you want to get him!</p> <p>My SIL kind of did this 'family gift' thing for her 2 year old daughter, but better (IMO). They had just built her a dollhouse, so she mentioned to everyone asking what to get her daughter that they could furnish &amp; decorate a room in the dollhouse if they wanted. It turned out being a LOT of fun! But, you could tell she felt bad giving specific direction towards a gift, and made it clear she wasn't expecting you to do it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743147 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:54:04 +0000 JennyD 1743147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alphagam84: She's special... for sure. I enjoy when she comes for Christmas (hahahahaha NOT!).</p> <p>I've been leaning toward science kits for my 5-10 YO boy crowd lately. Plant growing, microscopes, excavating dinosaurs from rocks, growing crystals.</p> <p>If you really wanna annoy her, get him something like sea monkeys or a pet hermit crab or a beta fish ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743134 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:47:59 +0000 simplyfelicity 1743134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's rude, presumptuous and pretty greedy to automatically assume that someone will contribute to your child's gift. I would buy him something really loud and obnoxious. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743126 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:44:44 +0000 mrsjyw 1743126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Who mandates gifts?! ... yea no. Just individual gift, if at all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743123 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:42:10 +0000 MoonMoon 1743123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah...no. Even if I thought a 9 year old needed an iPad, I wouldn't respond well to being gift grabbed like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743110 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:36:26 +0000 TheReelDeal 1743110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm fine with the concept of "Johnny really wants this for Christmas". It's the execution that leaves much to be desired. Why not have a talk with the rest of the family and say, we'd like to get Y, would you like to contribute? Don't assume everyone wants to or needs to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743109 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:35:10 +0000 Shutterbug 1743109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you do this for all the family members, or just this one kid? Regardless, I would NOT be participating in the "family gift". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743107 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:33:59 +0000 Mrs. Lion 1743107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alphagam84: i love science type gifts for that age. Maybe something like this? These kits were really popular with my 4th grade students :) <a href="http://www.snapcircuits.net/products/product_sub/mini_kits=Nzg=" rel="nofollow">http://www.snapcircuits.net/products/product_sub/mini_kits=Nzg=</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743104 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:31:36 +0000 BabyBruins 1743104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alphagam84: I totally think it's rude and I would not like being told what gift I'm giving someone unless I wanted to go in on a group gift, BUT to play devil's advocate, could she be doing it bc she doesn't want a bunch of "stuff" and would rather him have one big gift he will use? I wouldn't do it but I know my sister and I just give our nieces and nephews money now (all are under age 6) bc they have SO MANY TOYS and I appreciate it bc it is one less toy to deal with.<br /> Could you just give him the money directly? At age 9, he would understand and would like it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743103 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:31:34 +0000 looch 1743103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would see the silver lining in the situation that I don't have to go out and try to find something in my price range for a kid that probably won't care one way or the other.</p> <p>I think it's a great idea if it's something the kid really wants. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743100 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:30:34 +0000 alphagam84 1743100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyD: OMG I cannot believe she put that down as a gift for a 1 year old! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743095 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:27:59 +0000 alphagam84 1743095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: she just BCC's a ton of people without having any conversations with us about it before hand. And we have to tell her how much we'll pay towards it. I also hate having to say we plan to spend XX amount. I normally spend somewhere in the $30 range on his gift.</p> <p>Can anyone recommend a good gift for a 9 year old? He is super smart in math and science stuff and isn't very athletically blessed so no sports gear/outdoorsy stuff is in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743093 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:27:56 +0000 JennyD 1743093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Perhaps, since he is a step-nephew to you and your family, she assumes you don't know him well enough to buy him a gift he will appreciate, so she's suggesting that you can contribute to the family gift fund and not be at a loss at what to get him?</p> <p>It's not something I would do, but I've heard of it before.</p> <p>My sister's SIL sends people detailed lists of things "her son" wants for Christmas/birthday (Dec birthday). When he was turning 1 (and first Christmas) she had "La Senza gift cards" on the list. Ummm, what need does a 1 YO boy have for lingerie?!?! My sister was pissed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743092 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:27:40 +0000 travelgirl1 1743092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah I think that's very presumptuous. I would choose a gift yourself for him. Honestly I think it's rude for her to assume you would buy a gift at all. Not all our brothers and sisters buy my also a gift and that's fine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743088 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:25:15 +0000 edelweiss 1743088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>this does strike me as odd, although is it coming from a place of insecurity (on her part)? maybe she feels the need to do a "family gift" so that she feels her son and new family are connected? totally speculating here. in any case, i would probably do the separate gift. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743083 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:22:33 +0000 Smurfette 1743083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope!</p> <p>I buy my own gifts. I don't like being told to buy something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743081 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:20:48 +0000 Mrs. Lion 1743081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So incredibly rude that i don't even have words.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743079 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:20:29 +0000 Adira 1743079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Umm... this is so bizarre to me and VERY presumptuous! Are these people that have asked what he wants for a gift and have already indicated a willingness to buy him a present? Or is she just e-mailing everyone, regardless of whether they can or even want to contribute to a present??? And does she expect everyone to contribute equally??? Because I would think that grandparents might spend more on their grandchild than aunts/uncles... This whole thing is so weird!</p> <p>I would just do your own thing since that's what you want to do. Maybe you could say to her "We really want to buy nephew a gift just from us! Do you have any suggestions for things he'd like?" That's assuming you don't already know what he would like. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743073 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:16:53 +0000 loveisstrange 1743073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If she wants her kid to have an iPad, she can damn well pay for it herself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-gift-for-nephew#post-1743063 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 12:13:30 +0000 alphagam84 1743063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For the past two years my SIL has done this "family gift" thing for our step nephew. (her son from her first marriage) I find it incredibly rude as she just emails everyone saying what the family gift will be and to tell her how much we plan to contribute. I think it's just plain rude and I'd rather buy him an individual gift. This year the family gift is an iPad. For a kid who's turning 9. He already has a laptop from his family gift last year! IDK why he needs one but that's besides the point. At Christmas I rebelled and bought him a Lego set and didn't do the family gift. We don't even get to see him open the gift and I don't know why she doesn't let us do individual gifts. They are very well off and I know they could afford the iPad on their own without anyone else contributing. My question is, should I just go along with it again or should I not do the family gift and do our own gift? I want to get our own gift but my husband thinks we should just give her money and keep the peace.</p> <p>ETA: At Christmas I tried the approach of emailing her back saying we wanted to do an individual gift and to give me some gift ideas. She wrote back I could get him a Target gift card. Really? So I bought him Lego's as I know he loves them. </p>