https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Apr 2026 19:52:51 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-invitations-to-church-from-kids-to-kids#post-2927875 Fri, 13 Jan 2023 21:36:05 +0000 Lowell 2927875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My childhood best friend came from a very religious and not-too-shy about evangelizing family who attended a very charismatic church (think: speaking in tongues, etc.) while my parents were actively anti-religion themselves. My mom and my friend’s mom were also very close friends. My mom especially took a very bemused approach to invitations like this and kind of just rolled with it more often than not. I sometimes went, sometimes didn’t; I think my family viewed this as a cultural experience and also a way to hang out with my friend more. I think the other family viewed it as 90% “the girls get to hang out” and 10% “and we might save her soul in the process.” Honestly I never felt like I needed to “convert” in this - none of the ideas I heard about at church with her were at all reinforced in my own home, so it really just felt like a social hour to me that followed our Saturday-night sleepovers. 🤷🏻‍♀️ </p> <p>Agree with others that a direct conversation makes sense and would be helpful to clarify. The repetition of an unwanted invitation feels invasive to you so it might be best to tell them that they have made it clear that the door is open if the Spirit moves you in the future (to use language they might find familiar). They’ve done their part. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-invitations-to-church-from-kids-to-kids#post-2927874 Fri, 13 Jan 2023 07:27:42 +0000 togetherthroughlife 2927874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: For sure! I think you can be more direct and still remain friends. I think one of the biggest gifts that practicing Christians can give themselves is the gift of non Christian friends. With no aim to “convert” them. I hope that as your relationship with this family continues they will take your direct comments at face value and you guys can continue to just know one another as friends. Less pressure for them, less awkwardness for you, it would be a win win! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-invitations-to-church-from-kids-to-kids#post-2927867 Mon, 09 Jan 2023 12:39:35 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2927867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone for the input, this is helpful. I would be surprised if the mom didn't know about the invitation - as some of you said, this did feel like a church activity or something that the kids did at the church's prompting to invite friends and the mom is very hands-on with them and church especially so I doubt she didn't know but certainly a possibility so I'll plan to ask that first rather than diving in on the assumption that she knew. </p> <p>As far as invitations themselves go, I appreciate that maybe I need to be more firm in stating that this is not part of our lives and we have no plans for it to be. The mom and I have definitely talked about how not practicing religion is an intentional choice my husband and I made due to our own personal circumstances, so to me that felt like enough to say that we're not interested but I can see that maybe I need to be very direct about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-invitations-to-church-from-kids-to-kids#post-2927864 Mon, 09 Jan 2023 09:05:47 +0000 poppygirl15 2927864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This would rub me the wrong way, too. I definitely had things like this happen to me when I was growing up because people knew I wasn't Christian and it drove me crazy. Like others said, I would bring it up to the mom. Just politely explain what happened and say that while you/your daughter enjoy spending time with them, you don't attend church. Then, you could offer another time when you could hang out. So, "While we don't attend church, we were wondering if your daughter wanted to come over to watch a movie." Something like that. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-invitations-to-church-from-kids-to-kids#post-2927862 Mon, 09 Jan 2023 09:00:42 +0000 togetherthroughlife 2927862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’ve been part of “church culture” my whole life so I can definitely attest to the fact that a lot of American churches lean really heavily on “invitation” — make sure to invite your friends! neighbors! Family! It’s a bit exhausting honestly. I think a healthier perspective for churches would just be to … exist … and people know where to find you if they want to join. Ha. I would maybe tell the mom, “hey X invited Y to church with a handwritten note. I don’t want her to feel disappointed but as we have talked about before, we are not churchgoers! We appreciate you all thinking of us. Hopefully X understands. Have a good day!” </p> <p>I don’t think you have to assume the worst of the friendship, it’s just something their church is likely (unfortunately) prompting them to do to the people in their life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-invitations-to-church-from-kids-to-kids#post-2927861 Mon, 09 Jan 2023 08:59:58 +0000 cake2017 2927861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: I think I will be the minority when it comes to my answer/opinion but I am a follower of Jesus! I believe in what the Bible says and my family and I attend a bible teaching church. </p> <p>We believe everyone has a free will, free choice(it says in the Bible)- that being said, if you do not want to attend that’s your choice! This also depends on what “church, “bible” and teaching they may believe”….but overall it should be respected.</p> <p>I would express that to your friend. Make it clear that it is not something you and your family would like to participate in and you would appreciate that they respect that(or however you feel comfortable sharing:)…after that- it should be respected especially if you make it clear!</p> <p>Also, kids are kids! I could definitely see a child doing that without the parent’s knowledge!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-invitations-to-church-from-kids-to-kids#post-2927860 Sun, 08 Jan 2023 22:44:07 +0000 Chuckles 2927860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think if they've only asked a few times over the years, I wouldn't think too much about it. Also, when they've asked in the past, have you said that you're busy versus just saying, no thanks? Because if you've said that you're busy, that might indicate to them that you would be interested if you were free. And I agree with @caitcat: that I could see a kiddo around that age doing something like that without running it by her parents first, especially if it's handwritten. I actually think that would bother me less than a more formal invite to something like Easter.<br /> We aren't religious at all, and a friend invited my son and I to her Bahai holiday celebration. We went once because I thought it would be fun to expose him to different traditions, but then she asked a few more times. I felt a little bad to continually say no, but eventually she got the hint. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-invitations-to-church-from-kids-to-kids#post-2927859 Sun, 08 Jan 2023 14:26:16 +0000 caitcat 2927859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd sort of wonder if the kid just asked on her own (without running it by her mom first) too. I could see one of my daughters doing that and I wouldn't realize it ahead of time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-invitations-to-church-from-kids-to-kids#post-2927858 Sun, 08 Jan 2023 05:20:49 +0000 pachamama 2927858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A large (and obligatory) part of American Christianity and Mormonism is "spreading the word" so that's why so many churchgoers invite you rather persuasively (I'm sure you know this).<br /> I would say, "Sorry, we don't attend church." I don't think that's rude at all. What is rude is trying to convince someone to attend religious services you know they don't subscribe to.<br /> My colleague is a pastor for one of those non-denominational Christian "churches". He's always trying to get me to attend his services. I say "I am anti-indoctrination so save your breath." Now THAT'S rude ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-invitations-to-church-from-kids-to-kids#post-2927857 Sat, 07 Jan 2023 20:25:05 +0000 Lahela017 2927857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This would really rub me the wrong way too. I don't think you're wrong to be feeling that way. I think I'd wait for the other mom to bring it up, and if she does I'd politely say I wasn't interested and I'd really appreciate it if the invites stopped from now on. No disrespect to them, but your family is happy with your decision to not attend church. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-invitations-to-church-from-kids-to-kids#post-2927856 Sat, 07 Jan 2023 17:40:28 +0000 LadyDi 2927856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is it possible that the mom didn't know about the invitation and the girl just did it on her own? I can't remember how old your daughter is but my son is 7 going on 8 and I feel like he and his friends "invite" each other to things a lot without asking their parents because they really don't understand boundaries and social norms yet. Like my son's friend invited my son over on Christmas day right in front of his mom and we both just shrugged it off because obviously it wasn't going to happen. Anyway, if you guys talk daily it seems like you are probably pretty close and hopefully this wouldn't jeopardize your friendship. I think you can politely say thanks but no thanks without being offensive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-invitations-to-church-from-kids-to-kids#post-2927855 Sat, 07 Jan 2023 14:55:05 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2927855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's been a long time since I've popped up on here, so glad to see folks are still around. Would love opinions on a situation I'm dealing with some friends who are devoted churchgoers. We are not at all religious, which our friends know. However, they still periodically invite us to their church. It's happened a couple times over the years and usually around big events their church was doing so we always just said thank you but we can't make it. However, yesterday, one of the kids who my daughter is closest to, handed her an invitation. When we opened it this morning, it was a handwritten invitation from the girl to my girl to come to church with them. Not a special event, just regular services. The mom, who I talk to daily, didn't mention this to me. My daughter kind of shrugged and said she'll ask her friend about it (though I honestly think she might just forget), however, I'm really not sure how to handle this. I'm fine saying no to invitations but this feels different. I don't want to hurt my friend's feelings but I've said in the past that church and religion is not for us so now that this has shifted into beyond just special/community events, it feels more intrusive. Am I overthinking this? Is there a way to handle this that isn't going to jeopardize the friendship? Or does this now start to tell me something about the friendship itself? Would appreciate perspectives. Thanks! </p>