https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 16 May 2026 13:38:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-parent-lashing-out-at-you#post-2658941 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 20:55:59 +0000 arosebyany 2658941@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, I know a few people with back and other muscle problems and when there going through "episodes" where even the pain killers don't help, they're not the nicest people to be around. Pain can make people do things they normally wouldn't. Unless she always acts like this I would probably chalk it up to a bad episode, and wait to see if she comes around. She's laible to regret the way she acted, and apologize when she's ready. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-parent-lashing-out-at-you#post-2658929 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 20:23:47 +0000 pachamama 2658929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This sounds like my mother. Isn't it funny, our aging parents act like children?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-parent-lashing-out-at-you#post-2658897 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 18:17:59 +0000 littlejoy 2658897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL is an alcoholic. So while she's not old (well, she's aging), we have our own set of issues that sound a lot like this. We've dealt with it for a long time ... </p> <p>We always set expectations. Like, if she sent me a text that said, "Go to hell!", we would call her to let her know we won't be talked to like that, and we'd open the stage for communication. We always express empathy, but it's gotten to the point where we have to literally follow the pattern of: express empathy, explain why she's being hurtful, set our expectations, and tell her what happens if she doesn't follow through. It's like dealing with a child. </p> <p>I think your DH needs to call her and have a conversation about the situation (and upcoming visit). I'm sure it'll be a rough call, but hopefully they'll work it out by the time they're done. Best wishes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-parent-lashing-out-at-you#post-2658866 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 16:43:42 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2658866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @Mrsbells. While it's fine that you didn't feel comfortable with your MIL driving, I think it was asking a lot to force FIL to be late to his meeting. I would have called a cab or gotten an Uber if it's available. I would maybe have your DH apologize for putting them in that situation and for making FIL late for his meeting, but also letting her know that he was pretty hurt by her response to everything, and it's not appreciated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-parent-lashing-out-at-you#post-2658864 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 16:41:58 +0000 Tanjowen 2658864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: True. And one of the things we apologized to them both for and wished had gone different. We had 10 minutes to make a decision or be late, so things were super rushed. I wish we had all communicated the night before because if I had known she was taking us, it might have all gone down better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-parent-lashing-out-at-you#post-2658862 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 16:39:46 +0000 Mrsbells 2658862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: I feel bad for all of you it sounds like an awkard situation. I dont think it was right though to ask FIL to be late to his meeting, I think calling a cab would have been my decision and possibly would have made MIL feel slightly better because now she probably feels not just embarrassed but guilty that she is to blame for him going in late. If I were in this situation I would have DH have a talk with her once she calms down to prevent such issues in the future </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-parent-lashing-out-at-you#post-2658860 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 16:30:44 +0000 Tanjowen 2658860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just returned from 6 days with my in-laws. It went very well up until the morning we left. My MIL has a lot of back issues and is on a lot of pain medication. It takes her an hour or so to get going in the mornings. We woke up yesterday to go to the airport and were told that FIL had a meeting and she was taking us. She could barely walk straight or back the car out of the garage- uh, no. </p> <p>So DH told her she couldn't drive us, and did it in a very loving way, in that he was very concerned for her and he was sorry but he couldn't let her. We told FIL he would have to be late and take us to the airport, and we left. She kept saying she didn't know what the hell was wrong with us, and when DH texted her that we were on the plane and we had a lovely trip and he was sorry and hoped she was OK, she texted back, "Go to hell, " and hasn't responded to either of us since. :sad: </p> <p>She is supposed to come visit in 2 weeks and I'm not sure how to approach this issue. We are both trying to be very gracious in that she is probably embarrassed and hurt, but I also think the entire issue needs to be addressed because her response was not cool. And I already told DH she isn't driving us anymore when we go visit them, so that's another fun conversation to have at some point.</p> <p>Anyone been through his with an aging parent? Tips on how you approached it and what hurt or helped? </p>