https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 23 May 2026 08:47:39 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-this-situation-discipline#post-2907201 Mon, 30 Dec 2019 08:16:25 +0000 wrkbrk 2907201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: 😂😂 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-this-situation-discipline#post-2907200 Mon, 30 Dec 2019 08:12:35 +0000 wrkbrk 2907200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: That’s exactly what I was going to say. If it were me I’d refuse to replace it. And a stern talking to but that’s probably it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-this-situation-discipline#post-2907194 Sun, 29 Dec 2019 22:04:22 +0000 mrsrain 2907194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I were in your shoes I think I’d move forward by only allowing supervised access to markers going forward until she has earned back your trust. Make that very clear, though. What she did broke your trust and while I don’t think it requires ongoing punishment, per se, I don’t think I would trust her with markers for a while. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-this-situation-discipline#post-2907178 Sun, 29 Dec 2019 16:52:55 +0000 PinkElephant 2907178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughters have done some of this (cutting/drawing inappropriately), and it's infuriating...but I'm with the others saying you've basically done what you can, because honestly, she may be quite pleased with herself, and not see the suitcase as damaged. Eventually, she may not like it, and I think that's when you remind her that she did what she did, and offer to let her help clean it use her own spending money to buy a patch to cover up her "art"...and don't back down on replacing it for her for cosmetic reasons! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-this-situation-discipline#post-2907166 Sun, 29 Dec 2019 09:50:38 +0000 LCTBQE 2907166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Litebrite: like a month after I bought it, my son scribbled on my upholstered dining room table chair in hot pink gel pen. when my dad saw it while visiting he was like, I guess that's cosmic justice. I try and think of it every time I see the chair ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-this-situation-discipline#post-2907164 Sun, 29 Dec 2019 09:24:34 +0000 Litebrite 2907164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same as @LCTBQE I did a ton of this as a kid, and when I got older I would draw all over my clothes and skin with pen. It was a way to express myself and made me proud. (I'm not an illustrator, but this impulse manifested in adulthood as getting tattoos :silly: )</p> <p>It made my mom furious, and I never knew why. Now as the parent, I get why it is so maddening.</p> <p>But I agree with pp who said restricted access to markers would be the appropriate punishment to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-this-situation-discipline#post-2907159 Sun, 29 Dec 2019 06:41:40 +0000 LCTBQE 2907159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Everything @Silva: said. Also, if you try to clean it you probably won't be able to get it completely off, and then she'll have a suitcase that's extra marred--so if you want to try cleaning it together, she should know going in that it will never be like new again. I think that plus restricting markers is lesson enough. </p> <p>FWIW I got in trouble A LOT for drawing on things and writing my name on things as a child, and I remember distinctly being not sorry and also being pleased by seeing my handiwork on everything, so she might actually enjoy that her suitcase has her scribbles on it. I wouldn't offer your "fix-it" solution like a patch unless a sibling had drawn on it or if it got scratched at the airport or something. ETA also fwiw I'm a commercial illustrator now and my parents have forgiven me ! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-this-situation-discipline#post-2907157 Sun, 29 Dec 2019 01:18:11 +0000 MoonMoon 2907157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't add any more punishments. In the big picture, I'd be annoyed/frustrated but drawing on things you're not supposed to is just such a normal kid thing to do. I'd think a natural consequence would be having her help clean it and living with what the suitcase looks like. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-this-situation-discipline#post-2907156 Sun, 29 Dec 2019 00:33:05 +0000 ALV91711 2907156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn’t do anymore punishment but I wouldn’t let her have free access to markers anymore. Since you’ve already taken away the suite case then I’d at least have a discussion before giving it back and letting her know what would happen if she does it again (bigger consequence). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-this-situation-discipline#post-2907153 Sat, 28 Dec 2019 22:35:50 +0000 Silva 2907153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get why it’s super frustrating. But I agree that the consequence is that her suitcase now has scribbles on it. You don’t buy a new one, that’s what she has. When my kids have cut their clothing with scissors I have taken the scissors away so they have to ask permission instead of open access, and you could do that with the markers. But sometimes I think that when I really dig my heels in about “teaching a lesson” it makes it worse. She drew on her suitcase. It’s hers. Now it has marks on it 🤷‍♀️. If she draws on stuff that isn’t hers, I’d take the markers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-this-situation-discipline#post-2907145 Sat, 28 Dec 2019 18:37:22 +0000 Hypatia 2907145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We tomato stake in situations like that. We talk about how we want to give her as much freedom and independence as possible, but behavior like this shows that she isn’t mature enough for that level of responsibility. Therefore, we will dial back her privileges and keep her at our side until she is ready for that kind of freedom again. I basically treat her the way I would a toddler—no access to markers or anything like that, she must be in my sight at all times, and we do practically everything together. It’s exhausting and as much a punishment for me as for her, but the result is that we bond, I don’t let things slide that would otherwise fly under my radar, and I help get her heart in the right place. My goal is to close the distance between us and inspire her to WANT to do good. At the same time, she’s itching to not be under observation 24/7 and so it serves as an appropriate consequence. When I’m satisfied she is in the right mindset (it’s more about heart than actions), I tell her she’s earned my trust back and she can be more independent again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-this-situation-discipline#post-2907144 Sat, 28 Dec 2019 18:11:39 +0000 erinbaderin 2907144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>On the one hand, I get that it’s against the rules. On the other hand, it is hers.....maybe her punishment is that her nice new suitcase has scribbles on it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-this-situation-discipline#post-2907143 Sat, 28 Dec 2019 17:58:12 +0000 Purpledaisy 2907143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gotkimchi: she said that just just wanted to draw on it but knew that I’d say no🤦‍♀️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-this-situation-discipline#post-2907141 Sat, 28 Dec 2019 17:49:26 +0000 gotkimchi 2907141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I probably wouldn’t do any more punishment except to try to have her help you wash it up. Rubbing alcohol should get it out. Did u ask her why she did it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-handle-this-situation-discipline#post-2907139 Sat, 28 Dec 2019 17:43:18 +0000 Purpledaisy 2907139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So my 6 year old DD (7 in March) wanted a rolling suitcase for Christmas. She totally doesn’t “need” it but we got her one, she was so happy with it and was excited to use it for sleepovers and vacations. </p> <p>Yesterday she drew on it with a marker (it’s fabric)... she’s gotten in big trouble for this same issue in the past. She knows better and knows to ask first before drawing on stuff that’s not paper/meant to be drawn on. After playing the million questions game she admitted that she did it without asking because she knew that I would say no and she didn’t think that I’d find out(really?!?! It’s pretty big...)</p> <p>Now I’m torn on what to do! So far we’ve had a stern talking with her, taken away all markers, taken away the suitcase, and she went to bed last night with no bedtime book and just a quick tuck in, no cuddling and talking like usual. </p> <p>My biggest issue is that she doesn’t seem that sorry!! She hasn’t even brought it up today. Usually when she gets into trouble she feels terrible. She’s typically a very good kid, rarely gets into trouble, excellent at school, etc. </p> <p>but now I’m stuck! Should she get into more trouble?? Do I eventually give the suitcase back?? Have her earn in back?? How?? I’m not ready to let this go but I don’t know what approach I should take...</p> <p>Anyone have any advice or ideas? Personal experience? </p> <p>I know that isn’t “that” bad of a thing to do but she intentionally did it behind my back and feels little remorse. We are also very big on having stuff like that is a privilege and taking care of our belongings is important. Also, if she had just asked I would have offered alternatives like an iron on patch, cute pins to stick on it, or keychains for the zippers... and I almost always give alternatives to situations like that. </p>