https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 03 Apr 2026 20:36:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-let-things-go#post-2384924 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 21:01:22 +0000 Bao 2384924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you everyone, I'm so glad to know I'm not alone in feeling this way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-let-things-go#post-2384382 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 14:27:13 +0000 lamariniere 2384382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: gah! My husband is constantly telling me to let it go and it stresses me out so much! I also feel much better when I tackle the things on my household chore list; my mind can't rest if there are things that need to be done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-let-things-go#post-2384371 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 14:19:38 +0000 skipra 2384371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have the opposite problem that I let things go too long and then have a ton of cleaning to do at once. But there are some things that I just can't let go - like the dishes or laundry. For those things, I have LO's help me with them and make it into playtime. They sit on the counter and "help" do the dishes, which is really just fun water play. They love to help put the laundry into the washer and dryer and press the buttons to start it. They even can help sort it - helps them learn colors! They also are obsessed with vacuuming so we have a big one that I use and I let them help with the hose and we have a small one that LO1 can actually push around. Plus when they know we are going to vacuum, they are more willing to help pick up. Things like cleaning the bathroom and folding and putting away laundry I do during bath time. So I guess my suggestion is just to get them more involved and turn chores into playtime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-let-things-go#post-2384344 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 14:02:39 +0000 Anagram 2384344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm the opppsite and wish I could be more like you! I totally play all day (or get out of the house a lot) and then get overwhelmed that theres so much to do. I feel like our house would be so much better if we'd clean as we go. I currently have 3 loads of clean laundry that are on the benches at the foot of the bed and I know myself well enough to know I probably won't put it away till Saturday. We have Amazon boxes laying all around from getting a bunch of gifts in and I just keep procrastinating breaking them down and taking them to recycling. I mean, I'm talking about 10 boxes. </p> <p>So our houselooks terrible right now. Shrug.</p> <p>Until then </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-let-things-go#post-2384215 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 12:40:25 +0000 catomd00 2384215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Granted I work, but I only clean up toys on Sunday evening. I also do laundry by foldable and not. Sweats, socks, underwear, pjs are in a load that we can just take stuff out of and not fold. Work clothes get folded. Pretty much I've just learned to accept the temporary mess and realized it won't last forever. Time with DD is way more precious.</p> <p>It might motivate you a bit to know that my mom was a SAHM and I have very few memories of her playing with is, but lots of memories of is asking and her saying no because she had to vacuum or do some other chore. Maybe she just didn't like playing with us (it's not really fun all the time!) but it did stick with us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-let-things-go#post-2384209 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 12:34:06 +0000 Greentea 2384209@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: I know what you mean. I think it is easy to feel, as a SAHP, that you aren't *doing enough*, but honestly, you are doing so much! And what I consider to be of utmost importance, even if society sometimes gives us the impression otherwise.</p> <p>I am pretty lax. I won't have a messy house forever. We do the main things for cleanliness, but I figure the kids are little temporarily, I can have a clean house another day. It is just my priority, but I understand the stress, and I think it is difficult to do it all, no one can! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-let-things-go#post-2384205 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 12:31:01 +0000 petitenoisette 2384205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To echo other posters I feel you on this and am glad to hear I'm not alone. I get home with my daughter about 45 minutes before my husband and I usually make myself sit down and play with her but the whole time I'm anxious to get started on the tasks I need to do for the next day! And if my husband comes home and tries to do anything before I get to complete said tasks I am one cranky lady. I feel guilty because I should be enjoying the only time I have with my baby during the week but it's hard to have things hanging over your head like that!</p> <p>I don't have a real solution except that my husband mostly knows that when he gets home he has to watch the baby while I get everything taken care of. So maybe just having set times that you work on certain tasks might alleviate some of your anxiety? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-let-things-go#post-2384181 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 12:15:14 +0000 KayKay 2384181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is one of those things where you have to decide what's best for you. I read something a couple months ago by a mom who said the best thing that ever happened to her was when she accepted that she didn't want "me time" to do the things that she used to love, and that she was okay with the fact that motherhood had changed her. She gave up on the idea that we should still do/love/want to do the things (even hobbies...not just, say, going out to bars or something) that we did before kids.</p> <p>In this case, I think the idea of letting some housekeeping things slide to spend more time with your kids is great. But for some people, it just means they would be stressed/not present when playing with their kids anyways. And, honestly, blocking out something like 2 hours is A LOT of time to play with kids that young unless you leave the house! What about even 15-30 minutes of focused playing with them a couple times a day?</p> <p>ETA: i'm one of those people who has to unpack her suitcase the minute she walks in the door, so i totally feel ya on this one ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-let-things-go#post-2384101 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 11:29:36 +0000 snowjewelz 2384101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree wtih Looch.</p> <p>I'm super OCD, so to tell me to let it go or it can wait actually increase my stress level. I really have to understand what my bottom line isl; what level of mess I can handle without affecting my mood. </p> <p>So I insist on cleaning the kitchen/dining room after dinner every night so I never have to really deep clean anything. I only have to deep clean the sink like once a month. </p> <p>DH is starting to take up bed duty more, so when he's putting DD to bed, I can race around to clean up, so that when he's down then we can both relax. </p> <p>No matter how tired we both are, we'll split the cleaning duties just so it gets done faster and we can both relax.</p> <p>Now I just try to clean up after ourselves as we go along so there's never like a big cleaning day where I have to spend a ton of time to really clean.. </p> <p>I'm still figuring it out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-let-things-go#post-2383949 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 10:10:10 +0000 looch 2383949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Letting it go was actually a huge source of stress for me. I can't relax if there are things that need to be done so the best way for me to deal with things is to do them as they happen and not let them pile up.</p> <p>eta: One thing that helped me tremendously was to loosen my requirements around a task. Let's say it was clean floors. In the old days, it meant sweep, then vaccum, then wet mop. It eventually changed to swiffering every other day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-let-things-go#post-2383929 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 10:00:54 +0000 skipper2010 2383929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hear ya! If my house is a mess I feel like I'm a mess. My biggest stressor is clutter. If there's crap on my kitchen countertops I can't focus on cooking dinner. I try and quickly put away/clean the crap that's bothering me and focus on deep cleaning when I have time. DH does the laundry so that's a huge help, but I hate that we have to spend our evenings washing dishes/ doing laundry instead of relaxing and hanging out as a family. I guess I don't really have an answer, but you're not alone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-let-things-go#post-2383919 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 09:54:44 +0000 blackbird 2383919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Meh, i have this issue, too. I just like to have a house in order, and I have a hard time accepting when it's not. It just bugs me. Sometimes I turn it into a game with E, and i'll set the laundry in one corner of the room, plop myself down in the other, and instruct her to bring me pieces, and as she brings me pieces (one by one), i fold and stack to go into the appropriate rooms. She thinks it's hilarious and loves to "help mommy" and I get something done (albeit slower than if i did it myself, but whatever) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-let-things-go#post-2383918 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 09:54:24 +0000 lamariniere 2383918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>An untidy house is a HUGE source of stress and anxiety for me. I WAH, so even though my LOs are in daycare most of the day, I am constantly picking up things, folding laundry during breaks or otherwise tidying up. I think you either have to set aside time to do it all, or be ok with doing it bit by bit as you can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-let-things-go#post-2383910 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 09:51:01 +0000 hilsy85 2383910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, it helps if I can just shove things out of sight. So throw all the toys into one big box, dirty/clean/unfolded clothes into the closet, move all the clutter out of the living room where we spend most of the time into my room, where we rarely go. Then I can deal with it when I have time and not when I want to be focused on other things. OUt of sight, out of mind! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-let-things-go#post-2383908 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 09:50:40 +0000 babynumber1 2383908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I struggle with this also. I WOH and when I get home laundry needs to be done, presents wrapped, kitchen cleaned, dinner made, bottles prepped, and on and on. I have a 3 y/o and 3 month old and I feel like I get home and put the baby right in the swing to start dinner adn chores. </p> <p>I don't have an answer, just commiserating! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-let-things-go#post-2383907 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 09:50:19 +0000 mrsrain 2383907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you schedule time specifically for just playing/relaxing/not cleaning? Perhaps between 10am and noon is "off time", or something like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-let-things-go#post-2383899 Thu, 10 Dec 2015 09:48:03 +0000 Bao 2383899@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am a stay at home mom, and have been since a few months before my LO was born a few years ago. Since I stay home I feel the need to constantly have things picked up, in order, doing something, folding laundry, etc. I do handle probably 80% of the household duties so it does take up a lot of time. DH is more than willing to help with anything, and I do ask at times but since he works 3 jobs I feel responsible for most tasks. </p> <p>I want to have the feeling of letting some things go: messes that I can deal with later, or tomorrow, laundry that can be folded in a few days, sweeping that can wait a few hours. It becomes overwhelming because I know I will eventually have to do it so I prefer to do it and get it done with, but then the cycle starts all over. I want more time to spend with the girls and less on the house/other duties, but a cleaning service is out of the question. </p> <p>I know it's ok to let these things go and just play with the girls but sometimes I have a hard time telling myself that. Has anyone else felt this way, or do you currently feel this way? How do you deal? </p> <p>ETA: I do spend time with the girls, cuddling a lot because that's what they love, or playing pretend but I would love to have much more time...maybe this is just life! </p>