https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 19 Apr 2026 05:46:14 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-nicely-lay-down-the-law#post-2092525 Tue, 03 Mar 2015 10:30:09 +0000 LuLu Mom 2092525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I like your mindset, I want that time too, I'll just make it clear that DH will come get the parents when we are ready for them to come in and that it's my family and I deserve that time to celebrate being a family of 4 for the first time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-nicely-lay-down-the-law#post-2092447 Tue, 03 Mar 2015 09:58:58 +0000 blackbird 2092447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I plan on it just being the four of us. I want DH to go get E from his mom and bring her in. She can wait 10 min. Because *I* want that moment with my family, with no one else. I don't even care if it's "blamed" on me. Can anyone blame the mom for wanting this? Nope. She came in too early last time and I've already told DH how much it bothers me my wishes weren't respected. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-nicely-lay-down-the-law#post-2092381 Tue, 03 Mar 2015 09:10:48 +0000 LuLu Mom 2092381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: she meant it literally, she was telling the story how she was there when our niece met our nephew and she announced to the room "well, where is he?" and just how special it was to see that moment :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-nicely-lay-down-the-law#post-2092088 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 20:49:41 +0000 jedeve 2092088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Are you sure she meant it literally? Like, instead of being there for the very first *moment* they lay eyes on each other, just being around for part of that visit?</p> <p>My ILs had my LO. They sent him in and after a few minutes, they came in too. My LO was 17 months, and he was like "oh hey baby, ooooh mama's bed has buttons on it." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-nicely-lay-down-the-law#post-2091914 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 17:13:34 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 2091914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LuLu Mom: you won't regret it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-nicely-lay-down-the-law#post-2091913 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 17:10:57 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2091913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Say you read in a book that's how it should be done. :silly: I blame things on "something I read" sometimes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-nicely-lay-down-the-law#post-2091910 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 17:10:00 +0000 LuLu Mom 2091910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: See our first was in the NICU so visitors stayed away for the most part, and well we they were allowed to see us but very few got to go back and see the baby! I was scared of germs. No one knew but our parents I was going in either (on a Monday.) This time being scheduled (on a Friday) I'm worried I will run into the same thing as you did with your first! </p> <p>@bunnylove08: This isn't their first rodeo (6th on my side being born at this hospital) so that wouldn't work and I would feel bad about lying. I'm just going to stick with the truth and say we want to have that moment of a family of 4 and then they are welcome to come in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-nicely-lay-down-the-law#post-2091895 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 16:57:16 +0000 bunnylove08 2091895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LuLu Mom: you could totally lie and say the hospital only lets one at a time in the beginning. </p> <p>If you told them the truth would they object? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-nicely-lay-down-the-law#post-2091894 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 16:54:44 +0000 MamaBehr 2091894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LuLu Mom: You aren't over thinking it! You want it to be special. It is one of those important moments :) You can always phrase it as wanting to cherish the first time you are family of four before getting more visitors. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-nicely-lay-down-the-law#post-2091893 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 16:50:16 +0000 GrapeCrush 2091893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We wanted the same thing. DS was only 15 months old, so he had no idea what was going on, but i still wanted that moment. My mom had him and brought him to the hospital when we told her I was going back to recovery(I had a csection). She brought him to the hospital and DH went and got him from her when they got there. We had about 5 mins just the 4 of us and then told my mom she could come in. All grandparents were ok with it when we said we wanted a little time alone as a family of 4 before visitors. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-nicely-lay-down-the-law#post-2091884 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 16:43:30 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 2091884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LuLu Mom: no, you're not over thinking it! We had the WORST TIME with visitors with our first so I was really anxious with our second. </p> <p>It helped that I was stuck in recovery for so long. It helped that it was our second baby, and people weren't as excited. :silly: and it helped that I had her on a Tuesday &amp; everyone had to work, so people weren't camped out at the hospital like last time (I had Chloe on a Friday, so we had visitors non-stop Saturday and Sunday). </p> <p>It was much more pleasant this time. It felt like a vacation. DH even slept at home &amp; I sent Charlotte to the nursery. Total bliss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-nicely-lay-down-the-law#post-2091869 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 16:36:20 +0000 LuLu Mom 2091869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: Yes I think this is going to be my route, I will have an easier time with my mom I can say "please bring her, meet DH in the hallway, and then we will let you know when you can come back" and then call in laws when we are getting moved to PP room (where I'm hoping DD will meet DD2) and then by the time they arrive DD would have had some time, my mom could meet the in laws and they could all come up together. </p> <p>I can tell I'm totally overthinking this, my prego mind is going crazy :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-nicely-lay-down-the-law#post-2091857 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 16:31:44 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 2091857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LuLu Mom: same scenario as you - scheduled section, and we wanted out oldest to be the first to meet the baby. We even had a no social media rule before big sis could meet little sis. We didn't announce her birth until sis &amp; all grandparents had met baby.</p> <p>Here's what we did:<br /> - my mom had Chloe<br /> - DH called my mom when he got back to recovery. Our plan was for them to wait for a second call, just before I was wheeled to my post partum room. We did make calls to let everyone know baby was born &amp; we were safe/healthy.<br /> - I ended up having some trouble from the spinal, though. I couldn't move my legs! The first time, I was out of recovery and in my PP room in about two hours. This time, it was more like six. Yeesh!<br /> - so, DH called my mom back and had her bring Chloe down. The girls met in my recovery room. Not ideal, but we made it work. </p> <p>Because of that, DH had to meet my mom &amp; Chloe in the hospital lobby. No one was really allowed back, but the nurses were really cool! We did get about an hour just the four of us and it was INCREDIBLE. We also got about three hours just the three of us which was wonderful, too. </p> <p>We called my mom, and then had her come back. In other circumstances, my dad &amp; ILs would have been there at that point, but I still had another 2 hours or so in recovery. My mom &amp; Chloe got to help us up to my PP room! </p> <p>I wouldn't have done it any other way. We didn't really had to lay down the law. We simply told people that Chloe was meeting sis first, and that was that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-nicely-lay-down-the-law#post-2091846 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 16:21:33 +0000 LuLu Mom 2091846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaBehr: she's 2 1/2, but she's really excited about baby sister, although I could totally see her getting shy/scared about me being in a hospital bed and clinging to DH. </p> <p>@MrsF: maybe I shouldn't put pressure on it. I think in our case, it will be neither parents allowed in, I wouldn't feel right saying my mom was okay but MIL was not, so maybe if I go the "neither route" the moms can bitch together about it and not to me ;) HA I'm sure both will be fine with it, they are completely understanding and usually very respectful of what we want. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-nicely-lay-down-the-law#post-2091844 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 16:21:27 +0000 MapleMoose 2091844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I understand what you mean about having a special moment with just you, your DH, and your kids. But you may want someone else there to help keep your LO1 happy. My LO1 was 15 months old when LO2 was born. My parents brought LO1 into the hospital room to meet her little sister. It was actually a good thing they were there because LO1 needed distraction after a minute of seeing (and trying to poke) her little sister. :silly: Of course no one can predict how the moment will play out and whatever happens is what happens, so if you feel strongly about only having immediate family in the room at first then I'd just be honest with the grandparents. Just explain about wanting that intimate moment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-nicely-lay-down-the-law#post-2091837 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 16:15:42 +0000 MrsF 2091837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm with you on this one. My parents brought M to the hospital so that she could meet her baby brother. My parents were in the room at the time, which I think was helpful, but I wouldn't have wanted my ILs there. I know that my parents are extremely sensitive to our needs and would let us take the lead, etc. My ILs are much more unpredictable and would have brought too much chaos to that moment. </p> <p>We tried not to put too much pressure on the meeting. We didn't video or anything because I wanted to really be able to focus on her. My parents brought M in - she had her baby doll with her to introduce to baby J :happy: . We had J in the bassinet when M walked in so that we could greet her without holding the baby. We didn't give her a gift from the baby or anything, but the nurses made a huge fuss over her, which was great, and gave her some "big sister" stickers, which she loved. After a little while she was over it and ended up just walking around the hospital unit with my DH while my parents got to hold the baby. This was good too because she didn't have to watch her nana and grandpa make a big fuss over the baby. </p> <p>I'm sure your LOs meeting will be fine - but if you feel strongly about how it should go I would definitely have your DH talk to his parents. They'll get over it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-nicely-lay-down-the-law#post-2091836 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 16:14:28 +0000 MamaBehr 2091836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How old is DD1? My daughter was almost 4 when my third was born. With my middle child, she was just shy of 2 and it wasn't that exciting. It was a neat moment, but it was a moment (like a minute) she ended up being more excited about the unlimited ice cream on the floor. With the second, she got it much more and it was special (she told me she was never going to let the baby go and wouldn't let anyone else hold him!).<br /> That being said, I wouldn't want grandparents in on that moment either, so why don't you just say what you typed? It seems very logical to me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-nicely-lay-down-the-law#post-2091809 Mon, 02 Mar 2015 16:01:47 +0000 LuLu Mom 2091809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>(Not sure if this is the right location feel free to move) </p> <p>I'm having a scheduled C-section in a couple weeks, my mom has already planned on having DD1 and will bring her up to the hospital (a 15 min drive) when DH calls here. We told in laws we would call them as soon as it was over so they could head in as well (they have like a 30 drive.) </p> <p>MIL this weekend kept talking about "how special it was going to be to see DD1 meet DD2 for the first time." Well...we (well I really) have already decided that I want DD1 to come in alone and be the first to meet her sister, giving her some time to get acquainted before having the grandparents come in. I don't want their excitement to see the baby to take away from DD1 meeting her new sister. We planned on videoing the moment so they could see it. </p> <p>Our parents do a lot for us and I don't want to hurt their feelings, but I really want to focus on DD1 on this one. I told DH he needs to tell him mom, but I know (he can be a bit of a momma's boy) that he will blame the decision on me. how can I go about this explaining we just want a few minutes as a family of 4 before grandparents come in? </p> <p>How did you handle the sibling meeting new sibling for the first time? Am I making it a bigger deal than it needs to be? </p>