https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 10 Jun 2026 16:21:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1418219 Wed, 12 Feb 2014 14:40:09 +0000 mdf106 1418219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I nursed to sleep until a little after four months. To break the habit, I woke LO up after he fell asleep, and put him in the crib awake. He fell asleep with no crying. I was shocked, bedtime had been a struggle before nursing to sleep started working. It doesn't seem to have improved sleep though. Now I rarely have to wake him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1416718 Wed, 12 Feb 2014 00:41:36 +0000 dojo 1416718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I nurse my son to sleep at nearly a year and I figure eventually he will stop and I will probably miss it dearly. I had great intentions to help him learn to go to sleep on his own but once he started hitting sleep regressions, teething, fighting colds... It just wasn't worth the frustration. I would say not to worry about it too much at 12 weeks but I've heard that putting them down to sleep awake but drowsy helps (we had some success with that for a little while). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1416672 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 23:41:45 +0000 mrs. wagon 1416672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always let my kids nurse or feed at the bottle til they fell asleep. We sleep trained our first but our second didn't have s problem being put down awake so it didn't cause any problems for us. Every baby is different! But I always nursed (or bottle fed) to sleep and I don't regret it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1416666 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 23:35:57 +0000 QBbride 1416666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I nurse at bedtime and sometimes he falls asleep and sometimes he doesn't. Usually I put his sleep sack on after nursing because otherwise he gets too hot during nursing. So that usually sort of wakes him up before I put him in his crib.</p> <p>Personally I'm not against nursing to sleep. If it works, why change it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1416346 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 20:50:42 +0000 septca 1416346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think even people say they wish they has not nursed to sleep for so long, they are talking about 10+ month babies. At 12 weeks I would NOT worry. Focus on doing what feels right for your family. Maybe around 6-7 months, when you baby starts wanting a schedule, you can work on the nurse-sleep association. To be totally honest, we broke DD of the association in 2 nights, so I don't think it's that big a deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1416327 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 20:40:48 +0000 Ellie 1416327@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is now 6.5 months old and we still nurse to sleep. I was sure that I was going to be on the road to sleep training by now, but it's not really working out. She wakes up, on average, every 2 hours and I nurse her to sleep again. Exhausting!</p> <p>It seems like any progress we make to get away from nursing to sleep (putting down drowsy but not asleep) gets erased after a few weeks (regressions, stubborn baby, my illness). On one hand I feel like nursing her is 'giving in' but on the other hand it's definitely helping my sanity...</p> <p>So no advice for you... :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1416284 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 20:24:34 +0000 ShootingStar 1416284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ironically, as I read and reply to this thread, D is currently pretty much asleep at the boob, lol. Just a minute ago I was pretty sure he was eating but had his eyes closed. Now he's pretty much asleep, lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1416277 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 20:22:36 +0000 mrskc 1416277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: you can start by letting him nurse and when he's almost fully asleep, try releasing his latch. If he wakes and wants to nurse, give him the boob back. Keep trying this until you make progress then progressively try releasing his latch sooner and sooner after he's done nursing. It may take a lot of time to get him to not fall asleep while nursing. I tried doing this but I'm just too lazy and would let him nurse to sleep! Lol I hope that makes sense ! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1416275 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 20:22:08 +0000 littleveesmommy 1416275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At 12 weeks it may be ok to continue if the routine is working well for you. I had the same idea of not wanting to nurse DD to sleep to develop good sleep habits but it was such a bonding experience and also calming way for her to fall asleep that I kept at it. I nursed DD to sleep until she dropped her bedtime feeding at almost 1. She was ok with dropping it and we still cuddled to read. The transition was smooth albeit a few tears (fr from both parties...). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1416264 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 20:17:10 +0000 ShootingStar 1416264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Twine: We bed share for part of the night most nights when I get tired of getting out of bed to get him. Usually around 5 or 6am on. But it's really not ideal. I think I keep him from sleeping restfully and he eats and/or comfort nurses for hours because he can sense I'm near. And I get uncomfortable because I can't roll over and I always end up practically falling off the edge of the bed. </p> <p>I'm sure there are plenty of babies who nurse to sleep and it's not a bad habit at all. I'm worried I won't be that lucky though! I know my mom always rocked us to sleep and we were fantastic sleepers as kids. But I don't think D got my sleep genes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1416241 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 20:07:58 +0000 Kemma 1416241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I've been nursing Miss A to sleep since she hit some major developmental stuff at around six months. Prior to six months we did a mix of nursing to sleep and self-settling while following A's lead. CIO was not a good fit for our family and "giving in" to nursing to sleep seriously saved my sanity and a lot of tears from both of us!</p> <p>Miss A is now sixteen months old and can put herself to sleep without nursing when the mood takes her and she occasionally STTN although we do bedshare from her first wakeup which at the moment is around 5am.</p> <p>There's nothing wrong with instigating some good sleep hygiene or working on self-settling but do it because it works for your family rather than because it's what you *think* you should be doing :-)</p> <p>@Mrs. Twine: I remember posting a similar question when Miss A was younger and found your advice very comforting! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1416239 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 20:07:10 +0000 Mrs. Twine 1416239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: My perspective is different because we bed share. Both my girls have nursed in the night with several wake-ups past the one-year mark, BUT since we bed share and they never fully woke up, it wasn't disruptive to anyone's sleep and so we just went with it. I can see that if you have a different sleeping arrangement you might want to get him comfortable with falling asleep not nursing before it becomes an issue for you. I just didn't want you (or anyone) feeling like it was a totally either/or issue; either they have good sleep habits and don't nurse to sleep, or they nurse to sleep or sleep poorly for all eternity. Clearly that's not where you're coming from, and it's never a bad idea to be proactive (even though kids pretty much have the job of proving that no matter how much you plan and how proactive you are, there are things that can get wonky). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1416222 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 19:59:57 +0000 ShootingStar 1416222@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: That's a good point about regressions. I guess I just want to teach him to sleep the gentlest way possible. I'm not at all opposed to sleep training in theory, but I think in reality I'll suck at it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1416156 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 19:29:22 +0000 hilsy85 1416156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I totally get what you mean about wanting to set good habits now, but IME, even if you start with good habits, regressions wreak havoc, and so you might end up being in the position of being desperate and needing to sleep train anyway! The best laid plans go awry, unfortunately :) But I definitely hear ya on starting good sleep habits early, if not for LO than for you and your DH, so you have consistent routine to fall back on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1416139 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 19:24:18 +0000 ShootingStar 1416139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, I'm amazed at the responses! Whenever there's a thread about "what would you do different" there's a ton of people saying they wouldn't nurse to sleep so long.</p> <p>@Mrs. Twine: I'm ok right now with nursing to sleep. But all the threads about babies who wake up over and over in the MOTN and need to be nursed to sleep kinda scare me. I'd rather teach him to fall asleep on his own now at a time when we can be relaxed about it, than be desperate 4 months from now and need to resort to CIO because nothing else works. </p> <p>@Bluebonnet: Maybe we just need a few more weeks for him to be at a point where he's easier to catch in that drowsy state. Right now at night he seems to go from awake to asleep with not much in between. Sometimes I nurse to sleep for naps because he just happens to fall asleep while nursing. Most of the time I can catch him at the right point for his first nap and put him down drowsy in the swing and get a 2.5-3 hour nap out of him. He just started daycare a couple weeks ago, I'm not sure what they do to get him to sleep there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1416051 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 18:35:48 +0000 hilsy85 1416051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that it's ok to do as long as it is working!</p> <p>An easy way to separate nursing from sleep a bit is to do a book after nursing, but before putting in the crib. However, we didn't start doing that until nursing to sleep no longer worked. If it ain't broke don't fix it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1416029 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 18:26:08 +0000 Sammyfab 1416029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that nursing to sleep is OK as long as it's working for your family...but I also think that teaching independent sleep habits is just as important!</p> <p>What we did was I would nurse my LO to super sleepy and pass him off to my husband who would very gently put him in his crib. Every few days we would be less and less gentle as we put him down. Eventually I got to a point where I could unlatch him he passed out and we could put him down wide awake. This took maybe 1.5-2 weeks with absolutely no crying at bedtime and he was fairly young (9-10 weeks old). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1415975 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 17:58:47 +0000 mrskc 1415975@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't worry about it right now. But if you do want to stop nursing to sleep, it would be easier for your SO to put the baby to bed. That's what we did but we didn't do it until DS was over a year and he falls asleep just fine with out nursing. I still do nurse him to sleep for his naps tho (he's 16 months). But I really don't think nursing to sleep is a bad habit. It's only bad if it's not working for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1415966 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 17:55:25 +0000 immabeetoo 1415966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mjane: same. my pedi stressed "drowsy but awake" which worked for a while in the beginning and we thought we were geniuses. then it didn't work. so we did something else. </p> <p>Baby sleep is ALWAYS a moving target. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1415960 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 17:53:55 +0000 mjane 1415960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@birdofafeather: similar experience.</p> <p>I wouldn't worry about it until it stops working or you feel as if it's become a problem in some other way. I felt so anxious about it for the first few months and I wish I would have just relaxed and enjoyed the snuggles. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1415953 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 17:51:05 +0000 birdofafeather 1415953@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i nursed to sleep (for nighttime) as long as she was still sleepy afterward! then we rocked to sleep! then she was over that and i would nurse and then just put her to sleep, but that happened naturally around 5.5 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1415951 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 17:49:22 +0000 Arden 1415951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally don't believe nursing to sleep is a bad habit. It's natural and it works, so why stop? I still nurse my daughter to sleep at nearly a year old and I love it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1415948 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 17:48:24 +0000 Bluebonnet 1415948@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I read a zillion sleep books and we decided it was important to teach LO the skill of putting herself to sleep to create good sleeping habits. We gradually changed bedtime routine from being nursed to sleep to nursing last but we put LO in the crib drowsy but awake. I don't think we did this until 4ish months. </p> <p>Do you nurse LO to sleep for naps too? Maybe you start slowly transitioning to putting LO down drowsy but awake and see how it goes? If you aren't ready (or LO isn't ready), you could always try again in a couple of weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1415942 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 17:47:25 +0000 Mrs. Twine 1415942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends on what your expectations are, but Lorelei is still nursing to sleep (at almost two) and Ellie did until she weaned at age 5. Ellie is a great sleeper now. So you don't have to start now unless you really want to. I would say if it is working for you, stick with it. You'll know when it's time to change things. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1415939 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 17:46:22 +0000 Torchwood 1415939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>While I'm an advocate of nursing to sleep as long as you need to, I will say that I've heard that the best way is to not do it yourself. If you're the one putting him to sleep, he won't understand why you're refusing to nurse him. So it's better to teach him to go to sleep without it by having someone else (your SO, presumably) put him to sleep until he's used to a new routine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1415925 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 17:40:48 +0000 BlueWolverine 1415925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I nursed LO to sleep until we stopped nursing at just short of one year. I never had a problem. She's a great sleeper now - 8:30pm-8am with no wake ups at almost 13 months (of course, because I wrote that, I've probably screwed myself). Sometimes she fell asleep while nursing; sometimes she didn't. It worked so well at getting her to go to sleep, it seemed natural to me. So, I have no advice for how to stop, but I wanted to throw my two cents in to say that if you choose to nurse to sleep, I think that's OK too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1415922 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 17:39:24 +0000 immabeetoo 1415922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At 12 week I wouldn't worry about it honestly. He probably would wake earlier if you fed him earlier. If you wanted you could try to rouse him a little before you out him in but honestly it's normal an natural. My son never nursed to sleep but still needed help learning to fall asleep without rocking later on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-not-nurse-to-sleep#post-1415918 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 17:36:50 +0000 ShootingStar 1415918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm wondering how I can stop nursing DS to sleep at. Typically we do bath time, then we nurse and he falls asleep and I put him in the PnP next to our bed. When I nurse him he generally gets very sleepy and closes his eyes and at some point his eating turns to comfort sucking, but it's hard to tell when. </p> <p>I'm hesitant to change up the order of the bedtime routine for a couple of reasons. The biggest one being he's still sleeping in fairly short segments before waking up to eat - first one around 3-5 hours (if I'm lucky). So I hate to push his eating to before bath time because I'm afraid he'd wake up even earlier. The other reason is that getting out of the bath makes him really upset and it would be harder to calm him without nursing.</p> <p>So any ideas? D turned 12 weeks on Monday and I'd like to start at least trying to have good sleeping habits. </p>