https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 07 Jun 2026 06:06:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-put-a-toddler-to-sleep-in-100-easy-steps-funny#post-2524207 Wed, 13 Apr 2016 20:04:40 +0000 autumnleaves 2524207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is hysterical. Thanks for sharing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-put-a-toddler-to-sleep-in-100-easy-steps-funny#post-2523124 Wed, 13 Apr 2016 07:06:55 +0000 MrsSRS 2523124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a sudden deep, deep gratitude for my 2.9yo's streamlined bedtime routine and mellow nature. This will be his sister's toddlerhood though. I'm pretty sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-put-a-toddler-to-sleep-in-100-easy-steps-funny#post-2522931 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 19:35:48 +0000 californiadreams 2522931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have tears from laughing so much. I read this almost 2 years ago and a lot of it didn't apply. Now with an almost 3.5 year old, I can relate to it all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-put-a-toddler-to-sleep-in-100-easy-steps-funny#post-2522913 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 19:09:58 +0000 LilSprinkles 2522913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Bahahahahaha! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-put-a-toddler-to-sleep-in-100-easy-steps-funny#post-2522891 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 18:49:06 +0000 nana87 2522891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LOL. dh has been in lo's room for a loooong time tonight, I just sent him this link ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-put-a-toddler-to-sleep-in-100-easy-steps-funny#post-2522465 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 12:26:28 +0000 Adira 2522465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is sadly accurate... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-put-a-toddler-to-sleep-in-100-easy-steps-funny#post-2522444 Tue, 12 Apr 2016 12:12:59 +0000 pmrlady 2522444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/honest-toddler/how-to-put-a-toddler-to-bed-in-100-easy-steps_b_4968226.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/honest-toddler/how-to-put-a-toddler-to-bed-in-100-easy-steps_b_4968226.html</a></p> <p>1. Announce that it’s time to go to bed.<br /> 2. Wait for your toddler to stop crying.<br /> 3. Explain that bedtime is not a punishment.<br /> 4. Explain that bedtime is not a new concept.<br /> 5. Explain that, yes, bedtime will happen every night.<br /> 6. Console your toddler.<br /> 7. Announce that it’s still bedtime.<br /> 8. Let your toddler know that we don’t call names in this house.<br /> 9. Tell your toddler it’s time to go upstairs.<br /> 10. Watch your toddler move at a snail’s pace.<br /> 11. Wait for your toddler to stop crying.<br /> 12. Pick up your toddler.<br /> 13. Walk your toddler upstairs.<br /> 14. Pick out the wrong pair of pajamas for your toddler.<br /> 15. Pick out another wrong pair of pajamas for your toddler.<br /> 16. Explain that the right pair of pajamas are in the wash.<br /> 17. Explain that you will not be doing a load of laundry this evening.<br /> 18. Console your toddler while he/she cries.<br /> 19 Explain that in this house we don’t call names.<br /> 20. Watch your toddler struggle to get into his/her pajamas.<br /> 21. Ask your toddler if you can help.<br /> 22. Continue watching your toddler struggle.<br /> 23. Watch your toddler try to wear a pair of pants like a shirt.<br /> 24. Console your toddler.<br /> 25. Put the wrong pair of pajamas on your toddler.<br /> 26. Announce that it’s time to brush teeth.<br /> 27. Explain the benefits of dental hygiene.<br /> 28. Console your toddler.<br /> 29. Carry your toddler into the bathroom.<br /> 30. Put a microscopic amount of toothpaste (poison) onto the toddler toothbrush.<br /> 31. Wet toothbrush.<br /> 32. When your toddler opens his/her mouth 1/45th of an inch wide, attempt to clean teeth.<br /> 33. Your toddler will attempt to spit in the sink, but will actually spit on the counter. Clean it up.<br /> 34. Console your toddler.<br /> 35. Ask your toddler to pick out two books.<br /> 36. Toddler will pick out the two longest books in your home.<br /> 37. Read the first line of every third page of the two books.<br /> 38. Field unrelated questions and interruptions.<br /> 39. Tell toddler it’s time for a good night kiss.<br /> 40. Toddler will be suddenly and urgently thirsty, give toddler a small drink of water.<br /> 41. Toddler will ask a question. Answer question.<br /> 42. Say “good night” and kiss toddler.<br /> 43. Toddler will ask for a hug. Hug toddler.<br /> 44. Toddler will take up a sudden interest in potty training and ask to use the bathroom. It’s poop.<br /> 45. Help toddler in the bathroom. Notice that there is no poop.<br /> 46. Toddler may become afraid. Assure toddler that there is nothing to be afraid of.<br /> 47. Toddler will ask a question about life. Answer question.<br /> 48. Toddler will need another hug and kiss. Give hug and kiss.<br /> 49. Toddler needs to urinate. Help toddler in the bathroom. Notice that toddler actually urinates.<br /> 50. Toddler requires a sticker for urinating successfully.<br /> 51. Put a sticker on toddler’s potty chart.<br /> 52. Toddler may want to tell you a brief 10-minute story. Listen to story while backing out of the room.<br /> 53. Turn off the light.<br /> 54. Toddler remembers that he/she needs a special stuffed animal.<br /> 55. Ask where the stuffed animal is.<br /> 56. Toddler tells you it’s in the car. Find your keys and look in the car. It’s not there.<br /> 57. Look in the living room.<br /> 58. Look in the kitchen.<br /> 59. Look in the backyard.<br /> 60. Scout the neighbor’s property.<br /> 61. Find the toy in your toddler’s room, under the bed.<br /> 62. Ask toddler if he/she knew the toy was under their bed.<br /> 63. Toddler will ask for dinner. Explain to toddler that dinner ended hours ago.<br /> 64. Toddler will cry that he/she is hungry. Explain to toddler that he/she should have eaten said dinner.<br /> 65. Explain that we do not call people in this house names.<br /> 66. Toddler will ask for hug and kiss. Hug and kiss toddler.<br /> 67. Toddler will ask you to help arrange his/her pillows and blankets. Arrange pillows and blankets.<br /> 68. Toddler will ask you three essay questions. Answer them.<br /> 69. Toddler will notice that the tag end of the blanket is next to his/her face and will kick it off. Fix blanket, this time with care and precision.<br /> 70. Toddler will ask for the hall light on. Turn on the hall light.<br /> 71. Toddler will ask for another story. Explain that there will be no more stories.<br /> 72. Toddler will ask what the plan for tomorrow is. Resist the urge to say, “I won’t be here. I’m running away tonight.”<br /> 73. Tell toddler “good night.”<br /> 74. Toddler will say his/her back, legs or butt is itchy.<br /> 75. At your discretion, try to relieve itchiness through lotion or wipes.<br /> 76. Put toddler back in bed.<br /> 77. Arrange blanket in the proper formation.<br /> 78. Say good night.<br /> 79. Toddler will say “good night.”<br /> 80. As you reach the door, toddler will inform you that he/she is not wearing socks.<br /> 81. Choose the wrong pair of socks for your toddler.<br /> 82. Choose another wrong pair of socks for your toddler.<br /> 83. Choose the right pair of socks for your toddler.<br /> 84. Put the right pair of socks the wrong way on your toddler’s feet.<br /> 85. Put the right pair of socks the wrong way on your toddler’s feet.<br /> 86. Get the right pair of socks the right way on your toddler’s feet.<br /> 87. Use your last thread of energy to stand.<br /> 88. Say “good night.”<br /> 89. Toddler will say “good night.”<br /> 90. As you leave the room, toddler will ask for a sip of water with pathetic sad look on face.<br /> 91. Give toddler sip of water and beg to be released from this Hades.<br /> 92. Toddler will ask for a back rub/tapping.<br /> 93. Tap toddler’s back until you lose feeling in your arm and your toddler seems tired.<br /> 94. Slowly stop tapping. Stand up. Try to float out of the room.<br /> 95. Toddler will look at you. Say, “it’s time to go to bed.”<br /> 96. If toddler cries, pretend to be serious this time.<br /> 97. Say “good night.”<br /> 98. Act like you’re walking downstairs but just linger by the door, out of sight.<br /> 99. Pray.<br /> 100. Walk downstairs.</p> <p>You may now relax for 2-5 minutes before you’re called back in. Congrats! </p>