https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 14 Apr 2026 08:25:25 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-reach-out-to-friend-who-had-a-late-term-loss#post-71692 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:25:55 +0000 banana 71692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How devastating. My dear friend had a late term loss (at around 19 weeks). She also delivered the baby and named him. She had to create a birth certificate and death certificate on the same day. :( She absolutely wanted people to acknowledge the baby rather than avoiding talking about him. And remarks like "Well, things happen for a reason" and "Look on the bright side. At least you don't have fertility problems." and "I know how you feel." especially upset her.</p> <p>What helped her get through it was joining a support group for other moms who have also dealt with the same. Maybe you can help find a local support group for her? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-reach-out-to-friend-who-had-a-late-term-loss#post-71670 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:14:23 +0000 heffalump 71670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry to hear about your friend! I would just treat it as you would for any loss, everybody gave great advice! Jews tend to handle loss with food... so I would send something for her to eat. And I love @tequiero21 idea about the plant. I know when I miscarried it helped to have something physical to look at since we couldn't actually bury the baby and have a gravestone, so I found a rock (Jews put rocks on graves instead of flowers) that I have out front in memory of my LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-reach-out-to-friend-who-had-a-late-term-loss#post-70834 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:40:39 +0000 Pancakes 70834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, she did deliver and name the baby. I guess I just don't know whether it's more painful for her to bring it up or to not mention it at all. I will just keep offering to be there to listen if she needs to talk, and to keep checking on her. Thanks for your advice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-reach-out-to-friend-who-had-a-late-term-loss#post-70806 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:05:57 +0000 tequiero21 70806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>maybe send a plant that she could plant outside her backyard? =( so so so sad for her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-reach-out-to-friend-who-had-a-late-term-loss#post-70788 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 09:34:31 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 70788@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, definitely reach out so she knows that you're available if she wants to talk. Also, do you know if the baby had a name? My best friend went through a stillbirth, and it was (and still is) important to her when people acknowledge her first baby as his own person, that he's looking down on us and so on, instead of just tackling it from the angle of how awful it must have been for her (though it certainly was). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-reach-out-to-friend-who-had-a-late-term-loss#post-70743 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 08:56:36 +0000 mrs. wagon 70743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How devastating... 20 weeks is so far along. That Duggar baby was born at 20 weeks! :( I would send a card, follow it up with a small but thoughtful gift (cosmetics, or maybe that L'Occitaine hand lotion) and then continue to periodically check in on her, but not too often-- maybe once every few weeks, just to let her know that if/when ever she wanted to talk, I'm available. Sometimes just knowing that you have available support resources if you need them is all someone needs to get through the grieving process. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-reach-out-to-friend-who-had-a-late-term-loss#post-70715 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 07:44:58 +0000 Rubies 70715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Continue to be her friend and check in with her - not so much to overwhelm but enough for her to know that you are there for her. Such sadness. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-reach-out-to-friend-who-had-a-late-term-loss#post-70707 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 06:26:00 +0000 MsMamaBear 70707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Send a card and just check on her often. My friend lost her baby after he was born early recently :( and I am constanly checking on her. Eventually ppl will stop, so it's nice to have someone who still does it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-reach-out-to-friend-who-had-a-late-term-loss#post-70704 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 06:14:01 +0000 mediagirl 70704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would send her a card, tell her you are there to support her if she needs to talk. How devastating. :-( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-to-reach-out-to-friend-who-had-a-late-term-loss#post-70686 Wed, 08 Feb 2012 23:04:51 +0000 Pancakes 70686@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A dear friend lost her baby at 20w due to a birth defect. I can't imagine how devastating it must be for her. She (understandably) hasn't been in touch with our other friends. She doesn't live nearby. What can I do to reach out to her besides the usual email/card/phone call? </p>