https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 17:20:21 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2115634 Fri, 20 Mar 2015 08:14:19 +0000 blackbird 2115634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: That's great news! </p> <p>I'm always that dick who, when people get on my case about being overprotective or anal or whatever term they want to use regarding how I feel about car safety, I tell them sharply that my brother died in a car accident and it shuts them up really fast. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2115478 Fri, 20 Mar 2015 06:25:34 +0000 looch 2115478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: Yeah, I know what you mean. Glad it worked out though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2115475 Fri, 20 Mar 2015 06:23:44 +0000 Tanjowen 2115475@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I think that's what is is for my parents. They are continuously surprised by the new rules and I know she thought this carseat would work great. I just wish they didn't dismiss the rules as silly and would take them seriously. We had a similar situation about peanuts where I lost my cool and I think I scared them a little, but I hate it takes doing that to get my point across. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2115464 Fri, 20 Mar 2015 06:11:58 +0000 looch 2115464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: Your situation sounds about like what I went through with my parents. My mom had recieved a car seat from I don't even know who, and she saved it, thinking we could use it. Back in her day, they barely had car seats, so she didn't even realize that it could be expired...and honestly, before becoming a parent myself, I wouldn't have been familiar with the latest rules around them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2115380 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 23:29:58 +0000 StbHisMrs 2115380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: I didn't read all the comments so maybe this was already mentioned but, can you take her to the local Fire department and have them check the seat and installation? Maybe they will have some input that will impact her choice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2115325 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 21:53:22 +0000 ChelseaRose 2115325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: I'm glad it went well. My mom watches my son 4 days a week so we bought her a great convertible and she leaves it installed all the time. When she needed a rental car, I came over and installed it in the rental and then put it back in her car. My MIL watches my son very infrequently, but when she does either my husband or I install the seat in her car for her. Every. Single. Time. I don't trust either of them to do it correctly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2115316 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 21:44:02 +0000 Torchwood 2115316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: Glad to hear something got through to them, even if it is ridiculous that insurance is what it took. </p> <p>These sorts of threads do make me appreciate my mom more. She drives me nuts on a lot of things, but she's 100% willing to do what we say, especially on safety issues. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2115275 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 21:07:49 +0000 Tanjowen 2115275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They came over and while fixing dinner I (tried) to casually ask my mom about the carseat. </p> <p>It's apparently a leftover from my youngest niece and they thought it would work well for my LO because he is uncomfortable in the infant seat per my mom. That makes it likely expired since my niece is 6. It wasn't there to check out and my mom had no idea about the expiration date. </p> <p>I told them that they cannot use the carseat and explained all the safety issues but the only thing that seemed to sink in was that if an accident occurred insurance wouldn't cover due to expired carseat. </p> <p>I received a promise the carseat won't be used and we agreed to purchase a new convertible carseat for them. I'm hoping it's the last of it but definitely still going to be hyper vigilant and install the new one myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2114035 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:38:03 +0000 Adira 2114035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: My parents rarely drive my son around, but I had a similar issue with them when they bought a car seat for their car. They were okay with it being installed rear-facing, but definitely had issues getting it installed correctly. I just kept insisting and even said "Give me your manual, give me the car seat manual, I will make sure it's installed correctly so you don't have to worry about it!" My mom was all "OMG, you are being soooooo dramatic! It's amazing you even survived childhood because I was NOT this particular!" but I just stuck to my guns and let her roll her eyes at me and I felt a bazillion times better once I knew that car seat was installed rear-facing correctly in their car! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2114023 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:31:15 +0000 illumina 2114023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: good luck! I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. You are the Mum and they should be respecting your wishes :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2114010 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:25:01 +0000 Tanjowen 2114010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsBananaGrabber: Yes! The whole, "You are just being too overprotective thing," is big in my family. My mom even told me last week it's like I don't enjoy him because I have him on a schedule...yeah, that's what it is.</p> <p>@Mamaof2: This video is heartbreaking but definitely gets the message across. It seems so simple in my mind - it's what is safest, it doesn't cost anything extra and my LO doesn't fuss in the carseat, so WHY NOT???</p> <p>@illumina: I think that's my biggest fear underneath it all is that they'll use it behind my back. And yeah, that's a bigger problem in the end. Should be fun times tonight. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113989 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:16:29 +0000 Ash 2113989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: I know! I wish people understood. Thanks for posting! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113985 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:15:07 +0000 Mamaof2 2113985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ash: I know - after seeing that video how could you NOT put your child RF? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113983 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:13:50 +0000 Ash 2113983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: this video made me cry like a baby! It breaks my heart to know my LO is the only one in our family full of babies that is RFing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113976 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:09:33 +0000 illumina 2113976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly I'd just state you want to keep him RF until at least 2 and that's it non-negotiable. My parents don't understand why I want to keep my LO rear facing either but they wouldn't turn the seat behind my back! If they wouldn't respect my wishes, I wouldn't want them looking after my LO. I think you need to have a serious talk with them but be prepared that you might have to find alternative childcare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113974 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:08:41 +0000 yoursilverlining 2113974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I straight up just told my parents it was the law to have LO RF until she was at least 18 months old, and that was that - they never questioned it, so maybe your parents wouldn't question it either? Then at least your LO is RF until at least 18 months, and at that point you can talk again, if they bring it up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113968 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:05:48 +0000 blackbird 2113968@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say something non-confrontational like 'hey i noticed LO has a new car seat and it's FF, but the new recommendations are that he needs to be RF until 2. Can DH re-install it for you?" and see what she says. If she starts in on the FF part, you can mention some safety points and just clearly and calmly state that this is what you'd like and that's it, period. You don't have to negotiate on this. State that she will rear face him or that X is the consequence. </p> <p>We just bought MIL a new extended rear facing car seat to help mitigate the same issue we could have been facing (using expired cousin's FF seats) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113967 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:05:40 +0000 Mamaof2 2113967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: I think showing her a video will have the most impact</p> <p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2DVfqFhseo" rel="nofollow">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2DVfqFhseo</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113957 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 07:59:34 +0000 MrsBananaGrabber 2113957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry you are going through this! I'm only 4.5 months pregnant and my mom and grandma are already starting on the same kind of thing, where they want / expect us to use the old baby gear they have that is very outdated and no longer safe (such as drop-side cribs and 30 year old high chairs). When I tell them that we are completely against using it, for safety reasons, they say "Oh well, the baby will just use it when he's at our house then!" </p> <p>The only thing that's seemed to make ANY difference for us has been presenting them with safety numbers. They always say "You and your siblings / cousins used it and you're all fine," but when I can respond with the number of injuries and even deaths that the older, unsafe gear has caused, there is nothing they can say.</p> <p>I lot of my older family thinks that we, and other new parents, are too "over-protective," and that what worked for them as new parents should be good enough for us. They don't seem to realize how much the infant mortality rate has decreased as a result of safer products.</p> <p>Maybe if you point out to her that you are sure she loves your baby as much as you do and only wants the best and safest for him, and how a rear facing car seat is objectively and unarguably so much safer, she'll start to understand.</p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113715 Wed, 18 Mar 2015 21:10:11 +0000 Astro Bee 2113715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: I'd also be concerned if it was expired. Could it possibly be leftover from your siblings' kids? Which could be why they're more comfortable with it? </p> <p>I don't know if you have car seat clinics where you're from but we do in my city, and they are recommended for each new seat you buy, since there is so much variation. The statistics in my city are that at least 66% of children in FF and RF seats were improperly secured in 2011. Maybe you could bring them with you to a clinic and have the car seat technician go over how to install the seat and the benefits of ERF? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113702 Wed, 18 Mar 2015 20:51:48 +0000 Tanjowen 2113702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: Oh man, good point. . I just also realized I need to explain it matters where she got it from because of prior accident concerns. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113697 Wed, 18 Mar 2015 20:47:42 +0000 ShootingStar 2113697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: I'm confused - she doesn't want to keep the base installed because she may need the room - does that mean she's pulling the convertible in and out of the car all the time and constantly reinstalling it? I'd be even more worried about that than the rear facing :-/. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113692 Wed, 18 Mar 2015 20:45:19 +0000 luckypenny 2113692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: boom! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113691 Wed, 18 Mar 2015 20:45:10 +0000 Mae 2113691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: happy I helped... good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113687 Wed, 18 Mar 2015 20:42:37 +0000 Tanjowen 2113687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: I'm going to print your last post out and memorize it for tomorrow. Thank you for the encouragement and advice from everyone! </p> <p>@Bluebonnet: He's 14 months. State law is 12 months and 20 lbs so he can legally forward face at this point. That's the rule they are used to and what we are struggling with I think- in their mind, 1 year equals turn the carseat around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113685 Wed, 18 Mar 2015 20:39:33 +0000 Bluebonnet 2113685@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: How old is LO? What are the carseat laws in your state? Could that help your case?</p> <p>@Mae: has great points! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113678 Wed, 18 Mar 2015 20:31:57 +0000 Mae 2113678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: yea i think the why is important. and probably (as much as possible) trying to not get upset at least initially in the discussion. I think you have good responses for any possible answer. "I think it is safer" (Let me show you eleventy billion facts as to why it is not). "I don't know how to put it in the other way" (I will show you the right way). "I think baby is uncomfortable" (he's fine in our cars/too bad). "I don't like that I can't see his face" (I will order you a mirror on amazon. It will be here in two days and I will install it for you). "I think you're being overprotective" (That's my right as a parent and since you don't have a good reason not to, humor me). Ending of course with--- we can discuss it so you understand why we require this, but he is my kid and anyone who drives with him must install the car seat the way I feel is safest or they don't drive with him. Ever. No exceptions. Sorrynotsorry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113672 Wed, 18 Mar 2015 20:27:14 +0000 Tanjowen 2113672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: Good questions to ask and approach. I know it sounds silly, but I just drove off without asking anything about it or saying a word. I was so angry and trying to bite my tongue and think about what to do and say.</p> <p>I'm hoping with DH back home tomorrow and them coming to dinner we can go over the car seat issue again and demonstrate how to install the new one rear facing. It's just frustrating because we went through all this already (safety issues, extended rearfacing, how to install, etc.). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113670 Wed, 18 Mar 2015 20:21:51 +0000 Mae 2113670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What is their reason for having it forward facing? I presume the seat they bought CAN be rear facing, right? Does your mom think forward facing is safer for some reason (in which case facts might sway her)..? Or do they not know how to install rear facing (offer a lesson?)? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-would-you-approach-parent-about-car-seat-safety#post-2113657 Wed, 18 Mar 2015 20:02:45 +0000 Tanjowen 2113657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlebug: The infant one we gave them was a click in with a base. They didn't want to keep the base in all the time because sometimes they have the other grandkids and needed the space...I reread my post and realized I used "strap -in" but it was showing them how to install the base in the car. :bummed: </p>